Status: drip feed updates slower than an IV.

Master of Timing

auld lang syne.

Sid put his phone down, biting his lip as his Mom changed the TV channel from TSN to HBO. She could tell he was sick of hearing hockey news, which came as a little bit of a surprise to himself but he figured he’d allow himself the opportunity to not focus on work. He was at home, with the people who had been there for him since the very beginning, he didn’t want to think about hockey.
 
“Who’s that?” Taylor finished her piece of apple pie, eyes sparkling as she waved the ice-cream on her spoon in front of his face. He rolled his eyes in return.
 
“Friend,” He shrugged, focusing on the replay of Breaking Bad. He’ll never know how he convinced his parents to watch it, but he was glad they liked it. He’d caught up on the few episode’s he had missed. He stared pointedly at the TV and tried his best to ignore the way his sister was staring at him.
 
It worked. For a total of five minutes.
 
“What?” He asked, glancing at her.
 
She looked at his phone then back to him and smirked. That was all he needed to know that she knew it wasn’t just a friend he was texting. How the hell girls were able to read him like a book, he’d never know. But he hated it. “Taylor…” He trailed off, but she just kept on smirking and it was only once she raised an eyebrow that he gave in. “I’ll tell you later,” he grumbled and she sat back into the love seat with a smug grin on her face.
 
 
*

 
 
 
“Yeah?” He called out from his bed, sitting on the edge to reach into his duffle to get a Pens Hockey t-shirt out. Taylor waltzed in and closed the door behind her, jumping onto his bed and leaning against the headboard, making herself at home by turning on the TV. “Oh yeah, sure. Just come on in,” He muttered sarcastically, throwing a pair of socks at her as he went to the ensuite to brush his teeth. Anything to avoid this conversation.
 
“That won’t work,” She called out when she heard the electric toothbrush buzz. He rolled his eyes at his own reflection, but took his time anyway. Should he get a haircut? It was getting pretty bad. He’d need at least one before March, otherwise it was going to be a shit show for the playoffs. He hoped he’d be able to grow a better beard this year. And that they were in the playoffs long enough for it to grow to a decent length.
 
Or, you know. That he was able to play in the playoffs at all.
 
“What’s her name?”
 
He jumped, knocking the bottle of cologne into the sink. For a hockey player, she sure knew how to sneak around like a mouse. “Do we really have-?”
 
“Yes,” She answered, not taking any time to think. He knew it was because she knew he was going to ask that question in the first place. Her arms were crossed over her chest. He was screwed.
 
“Lyndsey,” He answered with a sigh. He pointed back to the bed and she pushed herself off the wall, sitting back where she was before as he flicked off the light. One of the CHL games were on and he turned the volume off. The quicker he got her out of his room, the better.
 
“And, what does she do?”

Taylor watched her older brother with an amused look on her face. He was awkward at the best of times, but never around her or their family. It was fun for her to see. She was a typical younger sister, she loved to embarrass him.   “She’s a nurse.”
 
“Where’d you meet?”
 
He groaned, hitting his head against the headboard. “Really, Tayls?” Her blank stare made him roll his eyes. “In Edmonton, she was one of the nurses at the ER when I  got injured. And before you jump to it,” She scowled at him and pouted, “We’re not anything. It’s weird and we’re just friends and right now that’s all it is but I promise you if I ever brought her home you’d like her so we’re just going to leave it at that okay?”
 
Taylor nodded. It was the most she’d heard him say all week.
 
“Also, don’t tell Mom & Dad.”
 
She rolled her eyes.
 
 
*

 
 
When Lyndsey woke up the afternoon of Christmas Eve, she had a bad feeling in her stomach. It was like an itch she couldn't scratch, something bubbling under the surface of her skin. It distracted her all afternoon while she was getting ready for work, and all through the early dinner she had with her Mom and her Aunt who had come over to exchange a couple of gifts before her shift started.
 
"Thank you," She got up to hug her Mom, the gift cards to Victoria's Secret and Ugg held tightly in her hand. 
 
"Have fun shopping."
 
She had gathered all her things for work, the presents for Jackie and Sam in a bag next to her usual things and she checked her phone for messages. His name was actually lit up on the screen.
 
"Hello?"

"Hi." He sounded happy. Lyndsey had no idea why he was calling her though. She laughed into the receiver, closing the door behind her as she made her way across the front yard to her car. 
 
"How are- Ohmygod," She screamed, slipping on the ice in the driveway, landing straight on her butt, the presents flying into the snow next to her. She was stunned for a moment and then the pain settled in, her entire back shooting with what she hoped was temporary pain. She could vaguely hear Sidney in the background, the cell having landed on the ground next to her. She groaned and moved as best she could to stand up, her gloves barely keeping hold of her cell, the screen now frozen against her cheek. "You're not good for my health, Crosby." His laughter continued as she looked at her mess of things sprawled across the snow covered lawn. The wrapping was starting to ruin but Lyndsey didn't have time to go back in the house and fix it. Oh well. Sam and Jackie would understand.
 
"What happened?" 
 
"I slipped on the ice in my driveway. God damn it, that hurt," The last bit came out like a whine as she picked up the presents, opening the car door to basically throw them against the passenger seat. He made a ‘awwh’ sound, but she heard right through him. "You're so mean."
 
"I'm sorry." He at least tried to sound sincere. The smile was across her face before she could stop it. "Are you okay?" She grumbled a 'yeah', putting her headphones in so that she could keep talking to him, reversing out of the driveway. Every time she shifted in her seat, the parts of her butt that were bruised seemed to get bigger and bigger. She'd have to spend basically her whole shift standing up if she wanted to be comfortable. "I, uh. I just wanted to call to wish you a Happy Christmas.” She beamed, glad that there were no cars near hers at the point to see her grinning like a loon. The warm feeling she got from his voice almost distracted her from the pain of her fall.

“Happy Christmas to you, too. What’re your plans for tonight?”

He filled her in on all the happenings of the Crosby household. Since they were spending Christmas in Cole Harbor, they would each open a present from someone in the family, then go to the local Church to watch Christmas carolers before coming home and having hot chocolate before bed. When Sidney had been drafted to the Penguins, he spent all of his Christmas’s at home until he got his own house in 2010. Since then, his family alternated years spending Christmas in Nova Scotia or in Pennsylvania. And when they did spend Christmas in Pittsburgh, he and his family went to a mall, not a church. He didn’t want to break the tradition, seeing as it was his favourite time of year.

Lyndsey smiled as she listened to him talk. When she was little, she kind of had the same Christmas Eve he did. Except her half-sister demanded all the attention so much that Lyndsey kind of faded into the background of her own family life. And when she got a present that Melanie wanted too, it was usually taken before she had a chance to play with it first. Her mom and dad fought for basically her whole childhood until they decided that it was better to just get a divorce, so they didn’t notice. Or if they did, they didn’t do anything about it. She kept to her own and when she was 7 she decided that on Christmas Eve before anyone got into the living room she would hide one present, the smallest one that had her name on it, and open it up by herself so that Melanie couldn’t take it from her. She kept doing it until she was 12 and Melanie moved out with her Dad.

Consequently, they didn’t really get a long even now.

The way he talked about his family made her nostalgic for something she had never known. She always knew that her and her Mom were a team, and it was because of how strong her mother was that Lyndsey knew they didn’t need another man in their lives to make them happy once her Dad left. Blanche instilled a strong, independent woman mentality in Lyndsey that she probably wouldn’t have gotten otherwise, but that didn’t stop her wishing sometimes that things could’ve been different. He had two parents and a sister who adored him, not because of who he was, but because of what he meant to them.

She wondered what it was like to have more than one actual family member to rely on.

“Lynds?”

“Hi. Sorry.” She didn’t even realise she was parked until she looked around. “What’d you say?”

He was quiet for a moment, then “You alright?”

“Yeah. I’m- Listen, I just got to work so, I’ll guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow? Or like, the day after. I know you don’t get much time with your family so I don’t want to inter-”

“Lyndsey.” She stopped, cringing at his voice. “Stop rambling. Have a good night at work and yes, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Christmas isn’t just for family. Let me know when you’ve clocked off.”

“I.. yeah. Okay.” She couldn’t have sounded more lame if she tried. “Night.”

“Night.”

*


To say that the ER was a shit show, would be understatement. Two people had already been brought in where they were found in separate (separate! really, Christmas Eve??) alleyways passed out drink, with hypothermia. A lady who came in complaining of being short of breath, having walked 10 blocks from her apartment without her oxygen (because she called a medical hotline that told her she’d need to get to an hospital ASAP, idiots), and a teenage girl who had tried to commit suicide by slitting her wrists.

And Lyndsey hadn’t even been at work for 3 hours.

“Good fucking Lord,” Jackie muttered in her ear, walking past to help the lady with the breathing problems back into bed. “No, Ms. Walker, you have to stay here until a doctor clears you- your oxygen mask is right here.”

“Excuse me.”

She looked around from the filing cabinet and saw a middle aged lady, eyes bloodshot. “Hi, how can I help you?”

“Oh uhm,” Lyndsey raised an eyebrow at her nervousness, “My daughter was brought in, my husband called me to tell me to come here-”

“What’s her name?” She moved to the list of patients that had been registered into the catalogue.

“Rachel Whitmore.” Oh. The suicidal one.

“Okay, I’ll need to see some ID first and then I can take you through.” The lady held out her drivers license and once everything checked out, she followed Lyndsey down the hall, waiting as she drew back the curtain around Rachel’s bed. “Hi, Rachel? There’s someone here to see you.”

The girl on the bed looked up, her eyes still rimmed with tears, the bandages tight on her wrists. She looked about 20 pounds underweight, and her crying just made her gaunt cheeks even more noticeable. Her expression changed from despair to fear once her eyes moved past Lyndsey’s shoulders. “No. NO! Get away from me!”

“Rachel, I-”

“No! She’s evil, please make her leave!” She cried, drawing the blankets up to her chest, trying to tear out the IV that was inserted in the back of her hand.

“Okay, okay Rachel, that’s enough.” Lyndsey reached her before her blunt nails could do any damage, holding onto the young girls hands as she tried to attack her. “You need to calm down-“

“Make her stay away from me.”

“Rachel, sweetie,” Her mom tried again, but she was cut off by the scream coming from her daughters mouth.

“What’s going on?” Lyndsey looked up, holding Rachel’s hands in her own so she jerked her head at the mother, indicating for Jackie to get her the hell away from the bed. “Alright, ma’am, I’ll need you to come with me.”

The fact that she didn’t put up a fight, just allowed herself to get taken away with a destroyed look across her face, spoke volumes. It was only once she was out of sight did Rachel stop fighting, collapsing against the pillows as fresh tears poured down her face. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” Lyndsey kept repeating, brushing her bangs back, reaching for a cup of water once she knew Rachel wasn’t about to tear out the needle again. She’d done some damage to the tape holding it down, but not much else.

“Please don’t bring her near me.”

Lyndsey sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. She’d been a 15 year old girl with her own problems too, once. Hopefully she’d be able to get her to talk. “Rachel, she’s your mother. She’s listed as emergency contact in your phone, that’s why she’s here. Mind telling me what’s going on?”

Rachel hiccupped, wiping furiously at her eyes. “Her fucked up husband is what’s wrong. She doesn’t get it, stands by while he treats me like I’m some fucking slave for them, my brother is already out of here and goes to school in Toronto so I’m all alone. God, I’m so stupid!” She cried, punching at the bed sheets, trying to rip out her hair.

“Whoa, calm down. Calm. Down.” She grabbed her hands again. “I can’t help you if you’re going to get this upset.”

“But she just doesn’t care! Why doesn’t she care about me?”

The broken look on her face pulled at something Lyndsey hadn’t acknowledged for years. She’d wondered the same thing about her Dad once, too. She opened her mouth to speak, but Rachel just kept on going, like she didn’t even notice Lyndsey was there anymore.

“I tell him to stop. All the time. He just. I’m not his so he doesn’t care, y’know? And I tried to run, once but no one would help me, and I didn’t have enough money- I was going to Toronto, I was going to Jason. But he found me. At the bus station and then he told me I couldn’t leave and then he made me stay and he- he.” She was whispering at that point, her hands clenched in fists so tight Lyndsey was sure she was going to break a bone.

“Does your mother know?”

“He touched me.” It was like Rachel didn’t even hear Lyndsey speak at all. But Lyndsey heard her. Those three words sent chills down her spine, froze her solid to where she was sitting on the bed.

Of all the things she sees in the ER, anything to do with kids in the worst. Car accidents and broken bones were easy - stuff you could see was stuff you could fix. Mentally broken kids were another story.

“What?”

Rachel sniffled. “I- Oh my God,” She gasped, looking around. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean.”

“Rachel, you can tell me. It’s okay, you’re safe here-”

She shook her head, frantic. “No. No, he’ll find out, he made me swear, I can’t.”

“Rachel.” The authoritative tone in Lyndsey’s voice made her shake, look at her. “I heard what you said. It’s my duty of care to report that.”

“I’ll deny it.”

She sighed. “We can help you.”

“No, you can’t,” Rachel sniffled, wiping at her eyes. “They’ll just take me away, and I’ll get pulled out of school and I need school, it’ll get me out of here and away from them and it’s fine, I’m 16 in a couple of months and then I can just… I’m already a year ahead in school and then I’ll graduate and be gone and-”

“Rachel.”

She pleaded with Lyndsey, eyes filling with tears. “You can’t. Just pretend it was nothing. It was nothing. If they take me away, it’s all your fault.”

She paused. Lyndsey knew it wasn’t actually her fault, but she’d set off a chain reaction. And if there was one thing she knew about abuse, it’s that you can’t help those who don’t want it. Begrudgingly, she nodded, eyeing over Rachel’s bandages and IV again to make sure nothing was damaged (more than it already was).

“Make her leave.”

Lyndsey sighed. “I can’t do that. I can tell her she can wait in the waiting room, until you’re ready to see her-”

“I won’t be.”

“How are you going to go home? You are still a minor, you need parental consent to leave, Rachel.” Lyndsey had reached a tipping point of the night and she knew professionally she shouldn’t be taking it out on patients. She didn’t mean to snap. But as Rachel sank into the bed, crestfallen and alone, Lyndsey rolled her eyes, walking away and back to her desk.

Jackie’s raised eyebrow as she rifled through paperwork was enough of a question. “I’m okay, where’s her Mom?”

“In the waiting room. I told her we’d get her if Rachel changed her mind.”

“Unlikely.”

“Yeah.”

The hours rolled on. She only got to take one break out of her usual three, and only because the duty nurse saw her swaying on her feet from a lack of food. She was barely through half of her toast before she was called back, a three car pile up arriving in the ER only a few minutes later.

She did what she could. Most of the passengers were in pretty bad shape, one of the drivers had a neck injury that everyone was 99% sure was going to make him a paraplegic. The older gentlemen didn’t make it past the ER, the rest of the victims only really needed some light stitches and checks that bruises weren’t broken bones. She didn’t even realise that it was past her clock off time, until Rachel’s mother walked up to the desk, her hands wringing.

“Mrs Whitmore, I-”

“It’s Mrs Glands, and I’d like to take my daughter home now, please.” Her tone gave Lyndsey the impression she had been working up the courage to come up to the desk all night. It didn’t work.

“Rachel can’t leave until she’s been discharged by a doctor. And she’s been placed on suicide watch for 48 hours.”

The woman across from Lyndsey scoffed and rolled her eyes. “She’s- she’ll be okay, I’ll take her home and make sure she gets her rest-”

“That’s not how it works, Mrs Glands. Your daughter tried to take her own life, we need to keep her here under observation.”

It was like a Western movie showdown; the soft wind in the background, the twang of a guitar sounding from the saloon. Mrs Glands had her arms crossed against her chest, Lyndsey’s fingers slightly resting on the desk.

“Fine.”

She walked out of the ER, without so much as a goodbye or when she’d be back. Lyndsey’s eyes were wide, shocked by how much a mother didn’t care that her own daughter was being kept in hospital.

“Jesus.” Jackie came up behind her, pulling a gentle hand on her forearm. “You okay?”

She nodded. Swallowed. What kind of mother does that? “Yeah.”

*


When Lyndsey woke up that afternoon from her daytime sleep, that irky feeling she had all of yesterday was still settled somewhere in her stomach. She didn’t know where it came from, or what it meant, but she wished it would disappear. It was making her feel nauseous.

Her phone pinged from where she had put it on charge, and she realised that it was what woke her up in the first place. Blearily, she stared at the screen, smiling a tired smile.

‘You awake?’

She opened the message, sitting up in bed. ‘Just now. Merry Christmas, officially.’

‘Merry Christmas! how was work?’


She wasn’t about to divulge any confidential information about her night, and she really didn’t feel like making him depressed or worried on today of all days, so she lied.

‘Interesting as always. Was Santa good to you this year?’

‘ha ha. he was actually, scored myself tickets to the Rolling Stones concert.’

‘that’s awesome! you’ll have a great time.’


She stretched, yawning a little and looked out her window to see it snowing. Great. She’d had to leave early to go to work to avoid all the other idiots driving on the road.

‘I was wondering if you had a bit of free time? Maybe we could Skype?’

He’d never asked her to Skype before. The last time she’d actually spoken to him face to face was the day that he was sent home. And she was in her pyjamas. With no make up.

Although, he had seen her at work after a 12 hour shift. She probably looked worse then.

‘Give me 10?’

‘Sure.’


And there he was, ten minutes later, an incoming call appearing on her screen. She’d at least tried to brush her hair and washed her face. She looked half normal. When she had opened up the video call, it was black for a moment while it connected, and then she saw his face.

Wow. He looked… great. His navy blue sweater was pulled tightly across his chest, his hair left all natural and curly. It made her swallow whatever greeting she was about to say. She knew the moment her video clicked in, not because the shine on his face became brighter, but the smile that spread right across his cheeks. She didn’t think she’d ever seen anyone smile that big before.

“Merry Christmas!” He exclaimed, throwing his arms up like he’d organised the whole day himself.

“Merry Christmas,” She laughed, moving the computer back a little so that she could lie down on her bed. “…Shouldn’t you be with your family?”

He shrugged. “I know you have to go to work so I’ll only be a few minutes. They won’t miss me.” His eyes danced around the screen and she blushed, realising only after a few moments that he was looking at her. Looking at her, unashamed and cute, like he was drinking her in. “Uh… how are you?”

She nodded her head and shrugged her shoulders. “Same old, really. I just keep on keeping on.” He smiled cutely. “How’s the head?”

He took a deep breath and from where she was sitting it looked like he was checking his phone. “No news from the doctors, so I have no idea.” She wondered if he knew how lost he looked. “But I don’t want to focus on that. I had an idea I wanted to run past you.”

She sat up on her elbows a little more, bending the screen down. “What’s up?”

“Well,” He started, a permanent smirk on his lips, “I know that we had a little bit of a moment there, and I know we’re all good now- we’re good, right?” She giggled a little (God, Lyndsey. Giggling? Really?) and nodded. “Okay, good. I was just wondering if it’d be okay if… I mean, you can say no, it won’t offend me or anything, but if you, I dunno, maybe would like it if I got you a Christmas present?”

She froze. And then remembered that he could see her reaction and smiled. Probably a little too wide, but whatever. “Oh. Uhm, you. You don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to. If it’s too much, or a bit forward then that’s okay, I won’t. I just thought I’d ask.”

She stuttered a little more, biting her lip. “Wow, Sidney. That’s. That’s really nice of you. But, I’m okay though, really. Seriously. Just talking to you is enough.”

She mentally cringed. She’d only made the statement two weeks ago that she wasn’t a puck bunny, and here she was fawning over a Skype call. She needed to get it together. She could see that he tried not to frown, and he hid it rather well, after a brief second. With a nod, he cleared his throat.

“Okay then. Maybe next year, eh?”

Next year? Oh man, she was in trouble. Didn’t stop her smile matching his.

*


“No Jackie?” She asked when she reached her desk, Colton looking up from a file.

He groaned, handing it to her. “No, Koby apparently threw up all day and she called in about 2 hours ago. It’s a madhouse already.”

One glance at the waiting room told her enough of a story. She was in for a long night.

When Lyndsey had come back from her first break, it was to the sounds of heightened voices. She recognised one of them as a security guard and when she rounded the corner, she could see why. Mrs Glands, and another man who must’ve been her husband were standing at the desk, obviously angry.

“Sir, if you don’t calm down, I will escort you off the premises.”

“She is our daughter, you can’t keep her here.”

“There- she’s one of the nurses from last night.” Lyndsey bit her tongue, holding back any sort of retort she wanted to exclaim, taking a breath. “She knows.”

“Can I help you?”

“Yes,” The man said. “We’re here to take Rachel home.”

She sighed, glancing at the security guard, making sure he got the message. Don’t leave me with them. “Mr Glands, Rachel is under observation for another 20 or so hours-”

He slammed his hands on the desk. “I don’t give a fuck.”

That was all it took before security stepped around the desk and made moves to get them out of the ER. Lyndsey shared a look as Colton rolled his eyes and she immediately turned, heading down the hall to where Rachel still was. She found her lying in her bed, knees brought up around her chest, her chin resting there as tears fell down her cheeks.

“I hate them,” She whispered, before Lyndsey got a chance to say anything. “They’ve ruined me.”

“They haven’t ruined you,” She started, motioning for her to move aside so she could sit on the same edge of the bed as she had last night. “You are your own person. You have the power to make yourself as strong and tough or as broken and fragile as you want to be.”

Rachel sniffled again, taking the tissue once Lyndsey offered it, shaking her head at the water, her phone in her hands. “I can’t talk to him.”

“Your brother?” She assumed, the nod in return telling her she was right. “How come?” Rachel flipped the phone over, pressing the round circle at the bottom, the screen staying black. Lyndsey smiled, taking it from her. “I’m not supposed to, but I’ve got my charger here. I’ll bring it back in like, half an hour?” The smile she got in return was enough to make it feel like the sun was shining through the windows. “Alright.”

She took the phone back half an hour later, like she’d promised. Rachel excitedly opening up the screen, looking more alive than she had a couple of hours ago, her mother and step dad obviously forgotten. “Merry Christmas,” She called out, Lyndsey stopping to check her watch. 23:49. Just in time.

“Merry Christmas, Rachel.”

*


While she wished she could spend the next two days off just sleeping, Lyndsey made a promise to herself to go and spend as many of her gift vouchers as she could before all the good stuff was gone from the Boxing Day sales. She almost flew out the door that afternoon, stopping quickly to kiss her mother and her Aunt on the cheek before she was on her way to the mall; phone fully charged, headphones plugged in. She could just shop and be in her own zone and not think about anything or anyone.

Normally, she would’ve dragged Claire out with her. But she was feeling some alone time was needed, even if that meant she ended up buying the wrong looking skirt because she was lacking her best friends’ opinion. Then again, she thought that maybe Kate would have some insight on one of them that she wanted from Forever 21. She snapped a picture and sent it, wandering around the store before she got an answer back.

‘Black. Even though I know you own too many black things already.’

‘uh, no such thing!’
She replied, taking her size and adding it to the other items she was already to try on.

That’s how she spent most of her day, alternating between sending pictures of things to Kate, trying them on, stopping every once in a while to get some food or window shop at stores she didn’t have vouchers too. Once Sidney had started to text her too, the smile was permanently on her face and she thought for a second that people might actually be looking at her like she enjoyed the crowds of the boxing day sales.

After the few days she’d had at work, she’d take the pushy crowds any day.

Sid let her know that he was on his way back to Pittsburgh and he’d have to postpone their Skype chat that they had planned for tonight. She didn’t mind, it meant that she could catch up on some reading she’d been sorely missing and maybe get a few more hours of sleep. She knew that he didn’t miss the bags that had been under her eyes, his face of alarm before he smiled at her yesterday didn’t go un noticed by her.

Yes, thank you Sidney, she realised she wasn’t getting a full eight hours of sleep every night.

‘I think I want to cut my hair.’

‘?????’

‘yeah. pixie.’


Lyndsey froze in the middle of Victoria’s Secret. ‘no no no no no. You have mermaid hair, girls KILL for that hair, you can’t just go and cut all those years of investment off!’

She didn’t know why she was having a panic attack over a hairstyle that was literally thousands of miles away from her. But it didn’t matter. Kate couldn’t cut her hair. She’d regret it, Lyndsey knew she would.

‘omg you’re such a drama queen.’

‘am not.’

‘are too.’

‘whatever’

‘ha, i win.’


Lyndsey smirked. ‘… whatever’

The typing bubble appeared almost instantly. ‘moving along, hows lover boy?’

She didn’t know. She’d told Kate that her and Sidney had worked through the ramifications of The Text, but hadn’t really had anymore to say. He’s good, home with his family, wanted to buy me a present for Christmas, I’m still a bit confused about everything… just didn’t seem to really clarify over a text.

‘He’s not my lover boy’ was what she settled with.

‘And I’m not Australian.’

Lyndsey rolled her eyes. She wasn’t having this conversation, again. She waved off a shop assistant, ignoring all the things she wanted to buy and headed out of the store, straight for the one of the few restaurants she knew served liquor.

She needed a drink to catch Kate up on everything in detail.

*


She was lying on her bed a few nights later, staring at the ceiling, focusing on nothing. Her Mom had gone to bed a couple of hours ago, having watched the ball drop from Times Square on TV before calling it a night. Lyndsey was still glad she hadn’t decided to go out, but something … like it was missing. She didn’t know what.

She’d had a couple of invitations out to a few of the bars around town, nothing too crazy, but she wasn’t in the mood. New Years Eve was one of those nights where you were into it one hundred percent or it was just another 24 hours. To her, it was too much effort to get all dressed up to go to a club to only get pushed around by drunk people, wait forever for a drink, dance in heels that were going to kill her feet and then cost a bucket load to catch a cab home.

So she stayed in.

Except, it wasn’t as fun as she thought it was going to be. Kate was already halfway through the 1st of January, happily drinking on the back of someone’s boat on some island off the coast of Australia. Lyndsey didn’t want to bother her more than she had with her ‘Happy New Year!’ text that she’d sent only a few minutes ago.

“Well… this is as good as it’s going to get,” She muttered to herself, slowly rolling over in an attempt to go get some food. Or a book. Or something. She’d made it to her door just as her cell started to vibrate on the bedside table. She frowned, hoping it wasn’t one of her friends calling with a last ditch attempt to get her to come out. It was past midnight, she wasn’t that lame to go to a party now.

Instead, she saw the ‘SC’ on the screen and she grinned.

“Happy New Year,” She answered quietly, not wanting to wake her mom who was only down the hall. She heard him laugh over the sounds of what seemed like a party in the background.

“Happy New Year! Hi. Hang on a second- yeah, I’ll call you,” He said in the distance, the phone ruffling like he was holding it against his chest. “Hi again.”

“So, you went out, huh?” Sitting on her bed again, she stared at the floor.

“Oh, only to Flower’s. I’m actually heading home now and I just caught the time. Figured you’d be awake.”

He was right. “As always. Did you have fun?”

The noise in the background dimmed, she heard him say a goodbye to someone else before he was back to their conversation. “Yeah. I actually did. Had a couple of drinks, it was good to relax with the guys away from it all. What’re you doing?”

She looked around her room. It needed to be cleaned, badly. Standing up, she began picking up her clothes, folding the clean ones from her floordrobe, putting the dirty ones in the laundry basket. “Housework.”

“At midnight on New Years Ev-Day?”

She chuckled. “Exciting, huh?”

“That’s how you celebrated bringing a whole new 365 days- wait is it 365, or is this year a leap year- whatever, if you’re at home, that means you’re not partying!”

She laughed. Lyndsey was pretty sure that she’d never ever seen a hint of Sidney Crosby being under the influence of alcohol. Except for that one time they won the Stanley Cup and he was chugging champagne from a bottle. “No, I’m in for the night.”

“But… no partying.”

“I had a beer,” She defended, rolling her eyes at herself at how lame it sounded. She needed a life. “Are you drink driving, Crosby?”

She heard the ‘psh’ before he spoke. “I had two beers. And they were Buds. Hardly close to the limit.” He murmured, told her to hold on for a second. She heard a click and the start of an engine, his voice further away than before. He must’ve put her on speaker. “I thought you would’ve gone out.”

“Wasn’t feeling it,” She sighed. “Work yesterday was kind of… well, I won’t get into it but I just wasn’t in the mood to be around people tonight.” He was quiet. If it wasn’t for the indicator she could hear in the background, she would’ve thought for a second that he’d hung up on her. “… You still there?”

“Is everything okay?” He countered.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Lyndsey was confused.

“You sound… sad. If I’m interrupting some-”

“No.” She cut him off quickly. “Not at all. Just… being a nurse gets me down sometimes. I see a whole lot of shit people shouldn’t.” And she, of course, was giving him a perfect example of why you don’t spend New Years alone. You end up depressed and spewing word vomit. “Sorry. Ignore that.”

“Don’t be sorry. I wish work was better for you,” He told her quietly, and Lyndsey knew that he genuinely meant it. “I miss talking to you.”

“We talked today?”

He laughed a little. “I know, but that was just… conversation. I guess what I meant to say was I miss you. October seems forever ago.” His voice was quiet against the sound of the car and for a second she legitimately contemplated doing a happy dance around her room. But she held it together.

How, she’ll never know.

“I miss you too, Sidney,” She replied, just as quiet. And she really did. Even if the whole beginning of their friendship was weird from her end, she missed his physical presence. He had a calming effect on the people around him, one that she only figured out when she realised why she didn’t get all star struck that morning in his hospital room. It felt normal, natural, to be sitting next to him and reading. She guessed it was what made him such a good captain; he didn’t have to be able to talk in order to make people feel valued. He just showed it. Anyway he knew how.

“Sorry to randomly call you though.”

“Not at all,” She assured him, giving up on cleaning and lying across her bed. “I, uhm. I was going to call you but I figured you’d be out with the team, so…”

“You could’ve still. Anytime, you know that right?”

She nodded into the phone, quieter for a moment before she realised he couldn’t see her. “Yeah, yeah. Of course… What’re your plans for today?”

He hmmed to her, unsure if he wanted to have a lazy day and watch the Winter Classic or if he wanted to head to Consol. Privileges of being him meant that he could have the whole venue to himself if he wanted (as well as his own personal wifi and the security code to the back door, la di da El Capitan). “I wouldn’t mind just skating in silence for a while. It’s relaxing. But at the same time, weird.”[i/] She laughed a little. “No, I’m serious. I’m used not being able to hear myself think in that place, what with the noise of the crowd and everything. It’s humbling to stand in the middle of the rink and just hear nothing.”

Lyndsey pictured it in her head; a lone figure, standing in the middle of Consol on top of the Penguins logo, the only lights on the ones that were directed to the ice. It sounded peaceful.

She missed peaceful.

“That sounds pretty perfect,” She noted quietly, almost talking to herself.

“Well, if you ever come to Pittsburgh, I’ll take you.”

She bit her lip. She didn’t want to give in to her imagination, but having that kind of relationship with the man on the other end of the phone would be something kind of magical. Sidney proved enough that he cared about her, how she was feeling, what she did in her day to day life that it made her feel like they sort of… were kind of something. But she was pretty good at getting her hopes up only to have them crushed, so she just accepted their friendship for what it was; weird, secretive, but theirs. It was good enough.

“You promise?”

He was silent, the noises in the background gone now too. Had he driven home already? There was a click and what vaguely sounded like a car door opening, but she wasn’t sure. “Of course. I won’t even laugh if you fall over.”

She scoffed. “More like when I fall over. I haven’t been skating in years.”

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.” He laughed, a softly quiet one she hadn’t heard before, and it made her bite her lip. She couldn’t be thinking about skating with him, being in Pittsburgh, the whole concept of his being her friend at all. It still spun her out, sometimes she even got a head rush and had to sit down. Luckily she was already lying on her bed.

“Sorry to break your heart, Captain. I can’t move in skates like you can.”

No one moves in skates like I can,” He threw back. She burst out laughing, before covering her mouth so that she didn’t wake her Mom. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I just said that. I’m such a dick.” She thought she heard him mutter ‘fuck, two beers?’ to himself, but she wasn’t sure.

“No, it’s fine, it’s just me,” She cried out, her voice muffled as she rolled over onto her stomach to hide her face in a pillow. It was one of the best things she’d heard in forever.

“Stop laughing! That was such a rude thing to say,” He admonished and she could just picture him inside his house, frowning as if anyone else other than her heard what he said. “Lyndsey, stop it.”

She giggled for a while longer, taking deep breaths to eventually calm herself down, wiping actual tears from her eyes before she put the phone back to her face. “Sidney Crosby, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard you say,” She told him, still with a hint of laughter in her voice.

He eventually gave in, a small chuckle reaching her ears before he sighed. “Don’t tell anyone. The league will start to think I’m turning into Ovi.”

“I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that to happen.”

*


She had somehow drawn the shortest of short straws that year, because Lyndsey was scheduled to work both Christmas and New Day for the second year running. She'd made sure to ask for the next years' off, plus Canada day and Thanksgiving to make up for it. But so far, it had been a fairly quiet night considering it was the start of a new year. Normally everything was a mess for the first 24 hours of the day but so far, so good.

No surprises.

Oh wait.

“Oh my God,” Lyndsey gasped, her phone lighting up from where she totally wasn't supposed to have it sitting on her desk. It took her a second to realise it was a photo, from Sidney, of the ‘Welcome to Edmonton’ sign that everyone saw when they drove into the city from the airport. He was in Edmonton?

‘Call me when you finish work.’
 
Oh God. He was in Edmonton.
 
“Jackie, look.” She shoved her phone at the nurses’ face, eyes wide, heart beating faster than it ever had. Jackie’s eyes widened and she squealed, actually squealed, hitting Lyndsey’s arm repeatedly with a pen, then her hand once she lost her grip on it. “Ow. Ow, stop!”
 
“Leave. Now. Go to him.”
 
“What is he doing here?”
 
Jackie rolled her eyes, shaking Lyndsey’s shoulders a little. “I don’t know. Quick. Pretend you’re sick and go to wherever he’s staying. Oh! Sam, come here!”
 
“No…” Lyndsey voice trailed off and she wanted to hide in her paperwork. "Sam, gimme my cell-"

He just stared at the screen and handed it back silently, biting his lip in an attempt to stop himself from carrying on like Jackie. It worked. Sort of.

"Oh, what's that Lyndsey? You have a fever? Oh no!"

"Shut up," She hissed, hitting his arm and taking her cell back. She looked at the screen again, just to make sure that she wasn't dreaming.

Sidney Crosby was in her city, without the Pittsburgh Penguins. Which would mean his idle threat from two days ago, where he'd jokingly (well, she thought he was joking) told her that if work didn't get better by New Years, he'd just have to fly out there and cheer her up. Consequently, the week between Christmas and New Years Day was always the worst to work anyways. The holidays were mostly a happy time, except for all the lost souls who just couldn't see any brightness in the Christmas lights. She'd had two suicides and an OD in the last three days, and the night was still young so she could only imagine what else the first night of the New Year had in store for her.

"Well?" She looked up at Sam, who was staring at her incredulously. "Go home!"

She shook her head, texting him a quick ‘You. Are. Insane. andinsomuchtrouble’ before she put her phone back in her pocket. "No." She held her hand up when the both of them protested, and suddenly their attention was drawn to the paging system, alerting all of them to get to the trauma ward three. She sighed, reaching for her stethoscope. "C'mon."

*


January First didn't let her down. She had walked into the ER at 7:30PM ready for dramatics, and that's what she got. She was just about done counting her blessings on not seeing any familiar faces as the rounded the corner from the cafeteria after her dinner break, watching as a gurney was rolled into the first trauma room. She could hear shouting coming from the waiting room and Jackie came towards her almost two seconds later.

"What-"

"It's Rachel." The panic in Jackie's voice was enough to let her know. It wasn't good.

Oh. Okay. "I've got it."

She followed the gurney, arriving in time to see them lift the frail young teenager onto the bed. She was only covered in a blanket, her feet a grey-ish shade of blue and when Lyndsey touched them, they were as cold as ice. She could see the amount of blood coming from the towels pressed against her wrists and she groaned once her brain caught up with the situation. Not again.

"Her mom found her in the bathtub, she was almost non-responsive by the time we got there."

"Okay, BP is low and dropping, we need pressure on those wounds."

"I can't get a clear airway, what did you say she'd taken?"

“Olanzapine. Apparently there was some Supeudol there, too.”

"Can I see that?" Lyndsey asked, holding her hands up to catch the bottle of prescription drugs that had been brought in. She turned it over in her hands to see that the pills had been prescribed to an Eric Glands. The step Dad. "God, Rachel."

"She's flat lining, we need a de-fib."

"Lyndsey."

She tossed the pills on the counter behind her, moving forward to start compression's. She quickly chanced a look at Rachel's face and she instantly wished that she hadn't, the blue of her lips and the bruise on her neck alarming her instantly. Lyndsey’s hands were pressed on top of each other, against the middle of Rachel’s chest, her hand jerking slightly each time Lyndsey pressed down with the force of her arms.

“Come on. Come on,” She muttered to her self, her eyes glued to the lifeless form in front of her as they all tried desperately to keep the teenager alive. She didn’t stop what she was doing until a hand on her shoulder broke her concentration, the defibrillator all set up and ready to go. But Lyndsey could already see that there was no point; Rachel’s eyes were open, staring unseeingly at the ceiling, her limbs hanging limply by her sides, rolling every time a charge was sent through her system.

The third one shocked her so hard her left arm fell off the bed, the blood soaked towel falling to the floor, only a few droplets of blood making their way out of the cut and down her palm, dripping off her pinky finger onto the floor in front of Lyndsey’s feet. She bent down slowly to pick it up, clearing the floor and using a clean corner to wipe at the wrist in front of her, pale white and cold. The blood had mostly stopped flowing, obviously because there was no heartbeat to push it through her veins anymore, and the cut was red and angry, three inches long against her inner forearm, re-cut over her injuries from the week before. Clearly she didn’t want to survive this time.

“Do you want me to take this?” A quiet voice said in her ear and Lyndsey nodded. It was Jackie who took the towel away, watching as Lyndsey walked towards the curtain and pulled it back, stepping out of the room without so much as a backwards glance.

Then she sprinted for the bathrooms, making it to the stall to empty her stomach.

*


Lyndsey had completely forgotten about the message from Sidney by the end of her shift. After Rachel, she was kind of in a daze for the last few hours of her night, functioning on auto pilot to get through. The constant you could’ve helped her, you could’ve contacted child services, you could’ve helped her ran through her head, a sickening reminder of the painful aspect of her job. Even though Rachel had begged Lyndsey not to do anything, she was a child. Lyndsey couldn’t shake the guilt that she was the adult in that situation, she was in charge of a 15 year old girl on suicide watch and she didn’t ignored her gut instinct to tell someone that something was very wrong in that family’s home.
 
Why didn’t she call child services?
 
She had spent ten minutes once she clocked off sitting in the locker room, staring into space at the metal door in front of her, open to show all her possessions; her day clothes, a spare pair of shoes, that green sweater she kept in there in case she randomly had a breakfast date with her Mom sometime in the summer. Just… stuff. An accumulation of uselessness.
 
Well, that was a bit over dramatic. It wasn’t useless, everything just felt bland in comparison to the shit night she had. She knew that getting into nursing would be dealing with the hard stuff, and when she got the job at the ER, it widened her eyes to a side of the world she previously had been oblivious to. Sometimes, she wished that she could go back to that day in the 10th grade when she actually sat down and thought about her future, and picked something completely different.
 
Like, training guide dog puppies or something. That would’ve been way less stressful.
 
When she looked at her cell, the text came flooding back to her and hit her like a tonne of bricks. Sidney Crosby had flown to Edmonton. Apart from Jackie and Sam, she was probably the only other person who knew he was here. This meant that he had come just to see her, which was a little bit drastic and one hundred per cent intimidating. She almost wanted to text him back just to ask him why the hell he was there, but she figured that was harsh.

And also stupid, like honestly. Why else would he be there?
 
She bit her lip and opened up her inbox, the picture he sent taunting her like her worst nightmare (or best day dream, she was still a bit confused). It was only 7:40, for once she’d actually managed to finish on time and she figured that he wouldn’t be awake yet but what the hey. Go big or go home. ‘So… Edmonton, huh?’
 
That was lame. But she pressed ‘send’ before she could back out and stood up to get changed out of her scrubs. It was therapeutic for her to go home in her day clothes. Kind of like, she was definitely for sure leaving work behind and didn’t think about the hospital as soon as she exited the doors. There were some nurses she had worked with that she’d never seen in anything but their scrubs and she had no idea how they stayed sane. It was days like these were all the horror and sadness of the ER stuck to her skin until she threw the clothes in the hamper. It wasn’t all better, she’d still need a blistering hot shower to make her feel clean, but it was enough to feel human again. Sort of.
 
Her cell buzzed loudly against the steel shelf of her locker, the light of the screen filling the small space.
 
‘Apparently. I know it’s completely insane but can we meet up? I’m at the Sheraton’
 
Only twenty minutes away. It was one of the blessings of living and working on the outskirts of downtown. As much as Lyndsey would love to actually live downtown, there was no way she’d afford it on her salary, so she just stuck to staying at home. Where it was rent free and she had her dogs and her Mom and her own little niche of a world tucked away in a tiny house in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
 
She took a deep breath. She didn’t know if it was to calm her nerves about him, or the shaky/sickening feeling in her stomach she’d been left with for hours. Either way, it didn’t work. She typed out a ‘Be there in half an hour’ and paused over the green sweater, deciding that maybe it’d make her feel better to wear it, even if it was minus seven hundred and sixty two degrees outside (or so Kate would exaggerate).

By the time Lyndsey got to the Sheraton, she was 15 minutes late. She was caught behind a pick up that was so obviously being driven by someone who had no clue how to handle driving in the snow and in front of a squad car so she couldn’t text ahead to let Sidney know she was still on her way and hadn’t passed out in her car.

He had let her know his room number, and that she didn’t need a key card to use the elevator to get to the 5th floor. She turned left out of the elevator and found room 504 but couldn’t find herself to knock. She was nervous. It was the first time she was going to see him since that second week of October. She wondered if he smelled as good as she imagined, or if he’d done anything to style his hair. She didn’t know what she would do if it was all natural and curly; jumping on him in his doorway probably wasn’t the best way to go about saying ‘hello.’
 
“Just do it,” She muttered, rapping her knuckles against the hardwood door twice. It only took a couple of seconds before she heard the lock slide and then suddenly there he was, filling the wide doorway in a way only a professional athlete could. He had a navy blue polo on. It stretched tight across his broad chest and wrapped around the muscles of his upper arms, flexing as he held the door open. He looked relieved and happy and surprised and then relieved again all in one and Lyndsey just wanted to bask in it.
 
“Hi,” He breathed, his crooked smile illuminating his whole face. His jaw had obviously healed. He didn’t look any different to how she usually imagined him and she swallowed down the idea that for some stupid reason he wasn’t completely (physically, at least) better.
 
“Hey,” Lyndsey chimed back. As he stepped back to let her in, all the nervousness suddenly disappeared. It felt right. He felt right.
 
“You want me to take that?” He motioned to her coat and she shrugged it off, handing over her gloves and toque for him to hang in the closet by the door, next to his. “I was going to order some breakfast, do you want any?”
 
“Sure.” The smile hadn’t left his face and he motioned to one of the double beds, where a room service menu had been thrown. “I… uh, I was surprised to get your text,” She offered, not missing the way he blushed a little. “It was a good surprised, don’t worry.”
 
“I’d hope so,” He said quietly, moving to sit down on the bed he’d slept in, the sheets still all ruffled. “I probably should’ve called ahead.”
 
She laughed and shrugged, handing him the menu. “I would’ve freaked out more if you did. Oatmeal?”
 
“Oatmeal,” He agreed, crossing the room to call downstairs. She stood up to take her shoes off, moving them to the door and taking a look of the room. It was standard, but still ridiculously nice. Two double beds, a full en suite bathroom from what she could see. The blinds were open, showing a view into the city down below, rain starting to fall against the window. She pressed her hands up against the glass, looking down to the street the hotel was on, watching the people rush from their cars to inside buildings, across the streets to catch a bus or the subway. She was glad she was inside. “Great, thanks,” She heard before the phone clicked, and she turned around, taking him in. He looked up with another smile (every time he did, it melted her heart) and walked the few steps towards her. “It’s good to see you again.”
 
It hit her like a tonne of bricks and suddenly the mood shifted. He wasn’t allowed to look at her like that after the night she’d had. Like every bit of worry in his life just didn’t matter. No one had ever looked at her that way. “Sid,” Her voice warbled and she took a deep breath, ducking her chin to bury her face in her scarf. God damn it, no, she wasn’t going to let him see her cry.
 
“…Are you okay?”
 
No, not really. It’s been the worst week. “Yeah, yeah, of course. It was- I just had a rough night,” She waved him off, but he still stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’m really glad to see you, honestly.”
 
“Lyndsey.” He stopped her, her shuddered breath echoing between them, his other hand resting on her cheek, lifting her stare from the floor to his face. He frowned instantly, moving to wipe away a tear that Lyndsey couldn’t stop. “Do you want to talk about?” He offered quietly, his thumb moving slowly across her skin. She closed her eyes with a whimper and a shake of her head and before she knew it, she was pressed up against his t-shirt, his arms folding around her so tight it was like she was being completely swallowed by him.
 
No matter how much she tried, once she tentatively put her arms around his waist and he pulled her even closer, a sob escaped, muffled by his clothes but that didn’t mean that it went unnoticed. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” He murmured in her ear, his hands spread wide against her back, his neck bent so that he could speak into her shoulder. He must’ve been able to feel her nod, because he tightened his arms more, his steady breath through his nose warming one small spot on her shoulder through her sweater. Every single part of her body seemed to be warmed by him, the smell of his cologne filling her senses, the solid mass of his chest a comfort against her cheek. She’d felt secure for the first time in a very long time and Lyndsey didn’t want it to end. “Don’t be sorry,” He whispered back when she stuttered out an apology, his fingers moving to run through her hair as he stepped back slightly.
 
“I’m a mess,” She laughed, but it held no humour, wiping her fingers under her eyes to clear any mascara. He flew all the way to see her and she can’t do anything but cry on his shirt. Great.
 
“Hardly.” How he was still smiling at her, she didn’t know. A knock at the door stole their attention and he squeezed a hand she didn’t even know he was holding, moving to answer it. She walked to the bathroom and decided that washing her face bare was better than sitting in front of him with a red nose and splotchy cheeks, relishing in the cool water on her skin, taking deep breaths in front of the mirror to calm herself down.
 
Her breakfast was set out on the table by the window, a bowl of oatmeal next to a glass of orange juice and a bottle of water Sidney had taken from the mini bar “I didn’t know what you wanted, so…” He trailed off with a shrug and waited for her to sit down, offering a spoon from the cutlery set.
 
“It’s perfect, thank you,” She replied earnestly, not realising just how hungry she was until there was food in front of her. “Is that all you’re having?”
 
He looked down at his bowl with a nod. “I had a shake before I used the gym.”
 
“You’ve been to the gym already?” It was only 8:30; most people had only just gotten to work. But he was obviously showered and cooled down before she got there so he must’ve been up for hours.
 
“Well, it’s already mid-morning for me,” He reasoned. “And I’d be on my way to training by now if I was home.”
 
That brought up a topic she’d momentarily forgotten about. “About that.” He raised an eyebrow. “Why are you here? Not that I’m complaining or anything, I just thought you couldn’t really pick up and take off whenever you wanted. I know you’re not playing yet but you obviously still need to be-“
 
“Lyndsey.” Oh. He was laughing at her. She needed to learn how to stop rambling when she was nervous.
 
“Sorry,” She breathed, reaching for the OJ. Sid caught her hand before it reached the glass.
 
“Don’t tell anyone, but I might’ve lied a little bit to management to get two days off.” She threw her head back and laughed, and he took the opportunity to hold her hand a little tighter. “I leave early tomorrow morning, but…” She saw his eyes flicker over her face and it made her blush. He made her feel naked even when she was fully dressed. “Okay, can I tell you something?”
 
“Of course.”
 
He sighed and sat back in his chair, their hands breaking apart. She gulped. “There are two reasons.” She nodded for him to continue. “The first one is because you obviously had a terrible time at work, and no one should bring in the New Year on their own, doing laundry,” He chastised, and she laughed a little, shrugging her shoulders. He wanted to see her because she spent New Years alone, and he didn’t even know what had happened the previous night at work. Sidney Crosby was basically a saint. “And the second… okay. You’re gonna tell me I’m nuts but whatever. I wanted to see you. Actually see you, not through a computer, not talk to you over a text. I know we sorted everything out but I still felt weird for basically the whole of last month and I needed to know one hundred per cent that we were actually okay because we’re obviously… I mean, I thought about it and I really-” He stopped himself, biting his lip, his food gone untouched. “I missed you.”
 
He let out a breath and Lyndsey didn’t know if it was with relief or if he was trying to talk himself out of not running back to the airport. Her spoon was still hovering over her food and when she dropped it with a clunk against the bowl, they both jumped a little, watching it sink into the food. “Uhm. Wow.” That was the best she could come up with.

“Yeah,” He resigned, rubbing his hands along his jeans, his head dropping. “Sorry, I’m not usually this impulsive.”

That she knew. Everyone knew. Sidney Crosby didn’t just fly by the seat of his pants for any reason. She was a little bit proud that she could bring something like that out in him. She didn’t know just how big she was smiling until he looked up again and frowned slightly, turning his head to the side a little as a smirk started to make its way across his face. “You’re right. I think you’re nuts.” He let out a laugh and nodded in agreement. “But…” Lyndsey shrugged, folding her hands in her lap. “I feel the same, so. I guess we’re on the same page.”

“Yeah?” That hopeful look on his face was almost enough to break the cool and collected bravado she had been working on since she had stepped foot in the room. He probably thought she was someone who had it put together all the time, not someone who was actually two steps away from usually falling flat on her face, both literally and figuratively in most aspects of her life. Including guys.

She nodded, picking up her spoon. “Yeah, Sid.”

They ate the rest of their meal in silence, sneaking glances at each other, smiling when they both got caught. He finished before her and waited to take both their plates back to the tray, carrying it outside to leave on the floor outside the door. She had moved to sit on the edge of the bed he’d slept on, her fingers link together as she rested them in her lap. Mostly because it would be too obvious that she was nervous if she sat on them. Lyndsey looked up when she saw him next to her and any and everything she was about to say went out the window when she saw just how close he was to her.

How close his face was to hers, at least.

He cleared his throat, and reached a hand over to break hers apart, smiling softly to himself as he linked their fingers together. She gulped. He's holding my hand, he's holding my hand. He's holding. My. Hand!!! “I know you’re tired,” He started, rubbing a thumb against the back of her hand. She shrugged again, not denying it. He could probably see it on her face. “And as much as I’d love you to stay here I know you’ve probably got to get going so I was kind of hoping that you weren’t working tonight?” He took another breath. “I can make good on that offer to take you out to dinner.”

She smiled. “You remember that?”

“Of course I do. I was nervous as hell to ask,” He laughed and even though she’d heard him laugh before, she didn’t want him to stop. This time it was all for her.

“I’m not working tonight,” She told him and he nodded, saying he’d find a place and would text her to let her know. “But I do have to be going.” She broke off in a yawn, and ducked her head away to cover her mouth, feeling him tug her to her feet as he stood up.

When she had her shoes back on and he’d held open her coat so she could shrug it onto her shoulders, she almost wanted to change her mind and ask if she could just stay here to sleep instead. But that would’ve been boring as hell for him while she slept the day away, and decided to not be too greedy and take up all of his time (regardless of if he’d flown there just to see her or not).

“Should I make the booking for around 8?” He rested his hand on the door handle, as hesitant as Lyndsey was for the morning to be over already.

“Sounds perfect,” She agreed with a grin and he stepped back to let her out of his room. “I still can’t believe you’re here, but I’m really glad you are,” She said quietly, stepping up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He nodded, the grin back on his face. It would stay there all day.
♠ ♠ ♠
holy moly, congratulations for making it to the end of the that monstrosity of a chapter. well done.

the next chapter is the one i know Lyndsey has been dying for me to post, but i had to work up to it. however, i'm basically not home for the next seven days so you'll have to wait ha ha! (yeah yeah, i know. i'm evil. whatevs)

i hope you enjoyed! let me know what you think.

peace out brussel sprouts.