Master of Timing

He hadn’t heard from her four days. Well, not technically - she had texted him the next morning to apologise for being a crying mess and all round general embarrassment. She didn’t respond when he told her it was fine.

She didn’t text back when he’d asked again if she wanted to talk about it, either. He had thrown himself into training and hosted the rookies over for a low key dinner and some videos games, but it just barely distracted him from his phone that he did his best to leave face down on a surface out of reach.

Help.

Sidney had been staring at the message on his screen for the better part of ten minutes, willing his sister to text him back from Boston.

It wasn’t something he was willing to pester Kris or Pascal or even Geno with. They weren’t fighting and truth be told, Sidney didn’t actually have a clue if something was wrong. He was pretty sure that he was just misreading the whole situation, like he had basically since the beginning, and knew for sure that if he got any of the guys involved that their thinking would add to his and he’d end up giving himself a migraine from making a mountain out of a molehill.

It was what he was hoping Taylor would tell him, anyway. The radio silence wasn’t the way he had imagined them finally sorting their shit out would go.

He knew of at least one thing he could do to pass the time, since he was sitting like a sad sack on his couch surrounded by the silence of his mansion on a Saturday night. TSN was clearly the last thing he watched, and the sounds of the Washington Capitals game announcers came through his surround sound over the echoes of skates and sticks as the team skated through the second period against Dallas.

The Stars were having another breakout season, following their cup win only a few months before. He had been happy for them when they’d won and hoped that he’d have at least one more chance to win something gold and shiny with Jamie and Tyler before the Olympic committee looked over him for some younger legs. His mind flashed briefly to all of the paperwork that was still a mess in his office upstairs, but he was distracted from thinking too far ahead into that when his phone chimed, Taylor’s face on the screen.

“Hey,” He answered, sliding down on the sofa to rest his feet on the coffee table.

“Hi. Are you okay?”

The tone in her voice sounded like panic, which he tampered down quickly by assuring his sister that he was fine. Mostly. Confused as all hell and he knew he didn’t have to explain how much he hated feeling like that.

“I need advice,” He sighed. “…Girl advice.”

Taylor didn’t make a sound. For a few seconds, he even checked the call to see if it was still connected, but frowned to himself when he brought the cell back to his ear to hear her laughing at him. Loudly.

“Okay, well the tampons are usually in the same aisle as the razors-”

“NO! God, shut up,” He groaned, covering his face even though no one else was there to see him blush. “Jesus, you’re a menace.”

“Hey, if you can’t man up and talk about all that crap that you don’t even go through…”

He contemplated hanging up. He really didn’t need to talk to his baby sister about the birds and the bees and everything in between. At all. Ever. As long as he was breathing.

“Okay, I’m kidding. What’s up?”

Sidney sighed, pushing himself up off the couch to go to the kitchen, pulling a beer from his fridge and taking a long sip before he got started.

When he went to open his mouth, he realised that he hadn’t actually told anyone about Lyndsey - apart from the team. Not anyone in his family, nor his friends back home. Taylor was the only one who knew that she existed, and even then he’d given her just enough to get her off his back, wanting to enjoy Christmas at home and not think about someone thousands of miles away. So he started from the beginning.

Taylor made the appropriate ‘ahs’ and ‘oohs’ when there was a pause in his story, not holding back just how gooey she thought their first date was - trying to weasel more out of him when he realised just how much ammunition he was giving her before shutting up quickly. He gave her a quick summation of their weekend, before he groaned, tipping back his beer to finish the majority of it in only a few gulps.

“It isn’t supposed to be this complicated,” He grumbled, wincing slightly as he dropped his drink a little heavier on his coffee table than he meant to. The sound of glass on glass echoed through the phone, because Taylor was snapping at him to stop damaging his homeware.

“She’s not going to come visit if you have no nice furniture left.”

“She’s not like that.”

Taylor’s laugh rang through his hear. “Oooh, defensive. You must really like this girl.” Sidney knew she was just teasing, was doing all she could from where she was to try and cheer her brother up but her laughter fell away shortly after once she realised that he brother wasn’t joining in on her fun. “You do really like her, huh?”

He sighed, standing up and swiping his beer bottle to leave it in the kitchen, flicking off all of the lights before heading to the stairs. “Yeah, I do. More than I’ve liked anyone in a while, actually.”

“So what’s the problem?”

He flicked on the light once he reached his bedroom, eyes lingering on the side of the bed Lyndsey had taken up. “Oh God, where do I start? The distance, the time difference, her not trusting me because I haven’t told Mom and Dad about her, take your pick.”

“You haven’t told the parents?”

“I- I’ve only just told you-”

“Yeah, but I’ve known since Christmas.”

He huffed, switching his phone to speaker so he could begin brushing his teeth, trying to listen to his sister rant about how he was being unfair to Lyndsey by not at least mention to them that he’s seeing someone, since it’s clearly serious enough for him to “Fly her down for a weekend of doing things I don’t need to know about, and then expect her to be okay and understand that you just want to keep it between you two for now? Brother, I love you, but you’re an idiot.”

He spat and rinsed, slamming his toothbrush back onto its charging station. “Well then help me. What do I do?”

“Well, jeez, I don’t know, maybe call Mom & Dad and tell them that you’re in love with someone?”

“I-we. Whoa. Hang on, I never said I loved her.”

There was a pause. A long one. Long enough for Sid to close his eyes at the sight of his reflection and lean forward onto the countertop, his fingers digging into the downward slope of the sink.

“Really?”

He didn’t know. He hadn’t spent enough time with Lyndsey to let himself think about it. Damn his sister for putting the idea into his head.

“I don’t know,” He answered lamely, picking up his cell gently and switching it back off speaker, pulling back the sheets and sliding into his new side of the bed. “I… Yeah, I honestly don’t know.”

Taylor ‘hmm’ed back at him, her tone soft. He wished they could be having this conversation face to face. He missed her voice of reasoning when he got too far inside his own head. “Well, okay. That’s okay, Sid. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing with every aspect of your life, y’know? You put too much pressure on yourself. It seems to me like you’re having fun - when you’re not fighting or whatever it is that you and Lyndsey are doing - and I’m happy to hear it. You deserve to have someone who doesn’t give a shit about what you do in your life. Although, anything would be an improvement from the last one.”

“Tayls…”

“I know, I know. You loved her, but she broke my big brother’s heart so forgive me if I don’t have anything nice to say about that cheating skank.”

He took a deep breath to stop himself from launching into another argument with her over his last ex girlfriend. It took Taylor a long time to forgive him for putting up with Stephanie’s antics, and even longer to stop being mad at him for not telling her the real reason they broke up for six months after it ended he. Sidney had genuinely loved Steph, even if he did hate her for going behind his back the last few months of their relationship. She wanted to blame the fact he wasn’t home, but her point fell short once he argued with the fact that he was always gone and never went looking for something while he was on the road.

It had been messy for everyone involved, once he finally kicked her out.

“That’s not what this is about,” He gently reminded her, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t, it’s fine. Just, help me.”

Her laughter returned to its full volume again, before it ended at the sound of a yawn. He checked the time, it was nearly 1AM on the East Coast, and he felt a little guilty at keeping her up so late when she was still in school and probably had a class to get to in the morning.

“Call home. Shock the hell out of Mom and then be ready for her to all over the top excited and begging you to invite Lyndsey to Nova once the season is done. Then call Lyndsey and tell her she makes you feel like gooey mush when you think about her.”

“You’re a shithead.”

“You love me.”

And that he couldn’t argue with. “You’re lucky I do. It’s late, I’m gonna go.”

“I’m serious, bro. Call home. Lyndsey probably didn’t tell her parents anything because she’s thinking she has to follow your lead so that she doesn’t scare you away. Not everyone’s used to being as private as you are about these things.”

He smiled into the darkness of his room, albeit a little sadly. “When did you become so grown up? I miss when my baby sister was actually my baby sister.”

“You say that like you thought for a minute there you were cooler than me.”

“Why must you be like this?”

She laughed again and Sid could just picture her rolling her eyes. “Oh, whatever. Don’t even. You can admit I’m the cooler Crosby, it’s fine. I accepted it long ago.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“And I’m the more talented one.”

“You wish.”

“And far better looking.”

“Goodbye Taylor.”

“Hey, Sid. Wait.” He put the phone back to his ear, taking his thumb away from the red circle on the screen.

“Yeah?”

“I should’ve said this earlier - but I’m happy for you. Lyndsey sounds like a really great person. And you’ll work whatever this is out. She sounds to important for you to not try and fix it.”

He was used to hearing sincerity and praise from Taylor. He had his whole life - and, for one of the many reasons he loved her, usually it didn’t have to do with hockey. She loved the Pens, sure and was proud of all of his achievements, but she couldn’t really care less if he was in the NHL or not, as long as he was a good big brother. He made a mental note to send her something really big and expensive the next time he was near his computer.

“Thanks Tayls.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.” The phone called disconnected with a click, the device hot in his hands from holding it against his face for too long. Sid reached over to his bedside table to plug it into the charge, thumbing the screen open to bring up Lyndsey’s contact details, sending her a message before he put it facedown and rolled back over, dragging the pillow she had used closer under his chest so he could smell the faint traces of her apricot shampoo while he drifted off to sleep.



“Okay we have about twenty people too many for our beds right now. Lyndsey can you take trauma three then seven - let me know if you need help with that one, he was pretty drunk when they brought him in - multiple lacerations requiring sutures, let me know when you’re finished up with them. Jackie I need you with in four with that MVC.” Sam looked up from the files he had in his hands and glanced around, a frown quickly forming between his eyebrows. “Does anyone know where the hell Colin is?”

Jackie nodded from behind her coffee cup. “He’s on break, he’s pulling a double to cover Mason.”

The doctor sighed and scratched his head, handing over two clipboards to the intern on his left. “Okay then. Richard, you’re with me. Casey-” The young nurse in question looked up from where she was entering data on the computer, “Can you shadow Lyndsey, there’s a fractured femur in two that you can assist on.”

The two nurses shared a glance and nodded.

“And for God’s sake, someone find out where the hell Doctor Adams went?”

“Oh!” Casey jumped up and handed him a note, her face apologetic. “I tried to get to you earlier.”

Sam looked down at the piece of paper and rolled his eyes, throwing it in the trash can over Richard’s shoulder. “Why would they send the brain doctor up to oncology when I’m right here,” He muttered, motioning with Jackie to follow him with a finger before leaving everyone to break off to go to see their respective patients.

Lyndsey had been there when the car crash victim had be brought into trauma four and it didn’t look all that promising. She was glad to not have to be in charge of that one, instead smiling a little at Casey and leading them towards her first patient.

It had been non stop in the ER for the better part of week; something she wasn’t sure she was thankful for or not. It kept her mind off of everything going on in her life not at the hospital, but it was also horrible to have taken so many trips down to the morgue. The busier she was at work, the more tired she was by the time she got home - after her Mom had already left for work.

It had been the longest four days of her life. They hadn’t gone this long without talking in her entire life.

Then the was the Sidney issue. Again, not all that unusual for them to not spend every waking minute trying to talk to each other but she knew that even a blind person would’ve been able to see the tension between them, across a country border and however many miles.

So, sue her if she just threw herself into her work, keeping her head down and concentrating on helping as many people as she could. Casey was new to the ER department after having moved to Edmonton from Vancouver. As far as newbies went, Lyndsey couldn’t be mad; Casey knew what she was doing, and usually only needed to be shown where to find something or someone once. Lyndsey was glad she hadn’t been stuck with someone completely incapable. It left her free to actually get plenty of work done.

“What’s wrong with Doctor Michaels?”

She looked up from her patient’s file, assessing what needed to be done before she answered. “Don’t worry about it, it’s just a bit of a weird time right now.” Casey didn’t look convinced, but nodded anyway. “It’s a management thing,” She assured the younger nurse, nodded once before sliding back the curtain.

“Hi Mister Durack, Doctor Michaels sent me to check on you. How are you feeling?”

The middle aged man lying on the bed below them shrugged with a grimace. “Can’t feel much, to be honest,” He answered, waving a hand towards the IV drip bag to his left that Lyndsey had administered morphine to. Casey checked his stats on the machine behind the bed while Lyndsey checked on the man’s thigh, noting the increased bruising on the skin and how it reached down past his knee.

There was no way she was going to be able to fix his broken leg.

“What’s the diagnosis?”

She smiled kindly, writing down the updates on the file before handing it to Casey to fill in his stats just the same. “Well, I can’t give you an actual diagnosis, that’s Doctor Michaels-”

The patient held up his hand with a wave. “I know, I know. But, it’s not going to have to come off or anything, right?”

She laughed a little at the stricken look on his face, shaking her head. “No. But surgery definitely the next course of action. Sorry,” She added, resting a hand on his forearm. “Doctor Michaels is held up with another room right now, but I’ll try and get an attending in here as soon as possible to get your more comfortable and up to surgery. Is there anyone we can try calling?”

The man reached for his phone, giving up at the last minute when Casey leant forward to push it towards him. “I… it died. My wife, she’s home with my kids.”

“That’s okay,” Lyndsey assured him. “We’ll get a hold of them.”

“Is that Michelle?” Casey looked up from the clipboard, smiling when Mister Durack nodded back gratefully. “We’ll call her right now - is there anything you need us to pass on?”

He pondered for a moment. Lyndsey took a step back, watching as Casey took hold of it. She had some pretty great bedside manner - which, Lyndsey knew all nurses should have, but Casey clearly was a Carer. She could sit back and listen just as quickly as she could jump up and put her hand against a bleeding artery while barking out orders to other interns. It was about time they got someone else with guts in.

“That bruising didn’t look good,” Casey noted, once they had left him to his pain medication to just try and rest easy. “How fast was he riding when he hit the pole?”

“Not fast,” Lyndsey turned left to head towards trauma seven. “But it was the bus he crashed into after that did the most damage. He’d be upstairs already if there was a free surgery room.”

“Jesus.”

Room seven held two young guys, who couldn’t have been more than twenty one if they tried. One of them was lying sideways on the courtesy chair someone had brought in, the other was on the bed, his right arm bandaged from his fingers to his shoulder, spots of blood seeping through. There was a two inch cut above his eyebrow, but it had seemed to stop bleeding for the time being, so Lyndsey wanted to fix his arm first.

“Well, Malcolm. Falling through a glass panel isn’t exactly the best kind of Friday night, I’d imagine.”

“Not really,” The kid answered, smiling at the two nurses. “But the scenery isn’t so bad.”

“Oh my God,” Lyndsey muttered, rolling her eyes rather obviously before moving to the cabinets in the corner of the room, handing a pair of gloves to Casey before putting some on herself.

“Dude, shut up.”

The two of them took their time removed the bandages from Malcolm’s arm. He had cuts all up his bicep, but only a couple of them would need actual stitches, the rest could just have butterfly bandages applied. It was the six inch gash along the underside of his forearm that looked the worst part.

“What do you need?”

Lyndsey dabbed away at the cut, manoeuvring his arm around on a pillow until it sat where she could get to it properly. “10 mil of Lidocaine. Is there any five oh’s in that top left drawer?” She glanced up at the two guys, smiling at Malcolm who had gone a little pale. “Don’t worry. We’ll numb the areas we’re stitching so you won’t feel anything.”

“Yeah,” He gulped, squeezing his eyes shut. “But I’ll still see it.”

Casey handed her the needle in one hand, alcohol swabs in the other before she turned around to busy herself with the stitching needles, getting them ready to go.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“Corey,” The other kid answered, swinging his legs back down to the ground to sit properly when Lyndsey raised an eyebrow at him. “Sorry.”

“Talk about something.” She nodded her head in his friends’ direction.

“What about?”

Lyndsey shrugged her shoulders, wiping around the cut with one of the alcohol swabs, glancing at Malcolm when he winced and tried to jerk his arm away. “Anything. Distract your friend while I stick this needle in his arm.”

“Oh God.” Malcolm whimpered and turned his face away from the two nurses. As much as Lyndsey felt sorry for him (because having your arm cut open and then stitched back together is no fun process) she had to laugh to herself; nothing like seeing a grown man turn and shudder away from a relatively small needle. She’d take the small victories when she could.

“Casey, can you…” She pointed to his arm and made a motion with her hands to press down, nodding when she got the okay to go ahead, piercing the needle through the skin around the cut, pressing down on her thumb to inject the small dosage of the numbing agent. For a laceration as big as the one she had in front of her, she needed to make about eight injections around the whole wound. There was nothing worse than stitching someone up to see them jerk away when they could feel the suture needle pulling the thread through their skin.

“Uhh, okay. Uhm - hey, when did your brother get tickets for the hockey again?”

Lyndsey paused momentarily. It wasn’t completely uncommon for hockey to be a general topic of conversation - She was Canadian, after all. But it wasn’t really the kind of topic she felt like over hearing, so she cleared her throat gently and tried to block them out, making her way around the cut to finish injecting the Licodaine.

It only took a few minutes for the area to be completely numb, so she sat back and disposed of the needle first, letting the conversation wash over her.

Until Casey called her name.

“Yeah?” She turned around, all three of them looking at her expectantly.

“What team?” Clearly the frown on her face was enough to show her confusion, before Casey and Corey both laughed. Malcolm was too busy looking at his arm. “Do you follow a hockey team?”

“Oh.” She sat back down again, reaching forward to press around the wound, checking with Malcolm if he could feel it, smiling when he shook his head. “Uh, yeah. The Oilers, obviously.”

“Yeah, but we meant good teams.”

Both the boys laughed, pounding their fists together while Lyndsey picked up the needle and thread. “Aren’t you two from here?”

“Well, yeah. So obviously go Oil Country but everyone in Edmonton has a second team.”

“If you say the Canucks, you’ll be my new favourite person.” Casey wiggled her eyebrows, then frowned. “But if you say the Blackhawks, we can no longer work together.”

“Ugh, fuck Patrick Kane and his stupid stick handling.” All three of them turned to look at Corey, who flushed and looked down. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to curse.”

Lyndsey took a deep breath and made the first stitch, moving the needle through Malcolm’s arm with well practised precision. She had helped on enough of these kind of injuries that the clamps in her hands were practically extensions of her arms at that point, each of them moving the thread and needle back and forth through the wound, slowly pulling the skin back together.

“I follow Pittsburgh.”

The words were out of her mouth before she even registered what she was saying. For all that she wanted to keep her mind off of what was happening at home (and it wasn’t even at her home because the world was against her ever having a fulfilling relationship), she couldn’t help it. Hockey was Canada’s sport. She wasn’t obsessed with it, but being drawn into the conversation was basically as easy as breathing.

“Eh, they’re alright.”

She raised an eyebrow, laughing as Malcolm rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, good on Crosby for the Golden Goal or whatever. But he can’t carry that team on his own.”

“He’s gonna have to if Letang is out again.”

She paused. “Letang got hurt?”

Corey shrugged his shoulders. Lyndsey could see Casey moving around to fix the wounds in Malcolm’s bicep, using Lyndsey’s distraction as a good time to apply her own Lidocaine to the cuts. “Probably another concussion, knowing him.”

“I think Dupuis will retire.”

Lyndsey took another breath to try and calm herself. She had asked Corey to distract Malcolm, and for the most part it seemed to be working. It just wasn’t the kind of topic she wanted to listen to. Yet, a part of her was interested in what they were saying - there was a time not too long ago when she used to talk about those players like she knew them, but didn’t really care what happened to their careers because it was another world that she wasn’t apart of.

Then October 19th had to happen.

“Yeah, but those blood clots could go to his brain right? Or his heart? What if he just dropped dead on the ice?”

“It’s true, that could happen. I don’t think he’d play if he knew his health was like that though. I’m sure he’s a smart player, knows how far he can push himself.”

He is, and he wouldn’t do that to his family, Lyndsey wanted to answer, biting her lip as she tied the last few stitches off. They quickly changed their tune to chirping Casey about her Vancouver team, making jokes about how they’d cheers the Sedin twins for being excellent athletes, except they couldn’t because they didn’t have any Cups. Casey rolled her eyes but nodded at Lyndsey when she asked if she was okay to finish on her own, leaving Malcolm’s file on the rolling chair she had been using after she’d written down the work she had done to his sheet.

The two guys waved goodbye haphazardly as she left, too wrapped up in their hockey talk to notice her slip out of the room quietly, her hands reaching into her pocket to pull out her cell.

She hadn’t watched the game the night before. It was on in the break room every time she went in to go to the bathroom, but apart from a quick glance she hadn’t seen much. They had been winning, the Habs didn’t look like they had any fight in them when they were down 4-1 halfway through the second period. So, she didn’t know that Kris had been injured. Or any news about Pascal; the blood clots had worried her a couple of seasons ago, but by all accounts he was apparently healthy as a horse.

She bit down the guilt that rose up her chest.

Then dropped her jaw when she looked at her phone screen.

Hey, the last few days have been weird, hope everything is okay with your Mom. I’m going to call home tomorrow - they should know about you. I’m sorry I haven’t told them sooner. Give me a call once you finish work if you don’t want me to. Hope you’re having a good night. Miss you x

“There you are.”

Lyndsey jumped so fast she dropped her phone, the sound of it clattering against the linoleum making her blink. Sam frowned at her as he bent down to pick it up, glancing at the screen, his face falling blank as he read over the message.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to read it-”

“No, it’s fine.” The doctor handed her back her cell, jerking his head back slowly for her to walk with him. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t expected to see a text from Sidney saying that he was going to tell his parents about her. Or get busted for checking her phone during work hours. Not that she thought Sam would give a shit, but she still felt like she was going to get into trouble.

“Lynds?”

“I…uh, yeah. Hi. Sorry, what do you need?”

He chuckled, grasping her elbow as he pulled her into an empty trauma room, one with an actual door, not just a curtain.

“I need you to calm down, for one.” Lyndsey huffed out a laugh and sat down on the edge of the bed, fiddling with her phone case, the black screen staring back at her. “Everything okay with you and lover boy?”

“Oh God, don’t call him that,” She groaned, bumping his shoulder with hers.

“Okay fine. Everything okay with the best ass in hockey?”

She didn’t even dignify that with a response, leaning back to actually shove him away from her with her hands, rolling her eyes at him fondly when he cackled back at her. Her smile didn’t last long though.

It was her last shift, working with Sam. Originally, he was supposed to only be a fill in attending until the hospital chief hired a new head of ER. No one, including Sam, expecting him to be in their department for longer than a month. And that had been nearly 9 months ago. Lyndsey had grown incredibly fond of the paediatric oncologist in that short amount of time and it hit her all of a sudden that the tiny bubble of people she included in her life as friends was getting just that bit smaller.

There would be no more joking of doctors playing golf. No more coffee runs, or bitching about interns or judging stupid patients for asking the dumbest of questions. Sam had a way of making sure everyone knew how valued they were, while still expecting the best work out of all of his staff. Lyndsey didn’t want to show her allegiance to a new head of ER.

“What’s that face for?”

It took her a minute to answer. She didn’t want to cry. It was stupid to cry, he was only moving back up the fourth floor. They still worked at the same hospital, it wasn’t like either one of them was dying. “I’m gonna miss working with you,” She answered quietly, tucking her hands underneath her thighs as they sat next to each other on the bed. “You’ve been the best attending I’ve had.”

He smiled gently at her.

“In eight years.”

“Oh, come here,” He cooed, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, resting his cheek on her hair. “Enough of that. Spare me tears and try to pity my poor soul that has to go back up to oncology and deal with the nut job nurses who aren’t nearly as good at keeping me entertained as you are,” He joked. He had an unnatural ability at getting her laugh at her worst moments, and right then was no different. He squeezed her shoulder once more before sitting up, looking at her directly in the eye. “I’m not kidding. And I won’t say this at the end of the shift in front of everyone, because I don’t want to embarrass you.” She nodded, already feeling her face blush anyway. “You’re one hell of a nurse, Lyndsey. You’ve made my job so easy, and I couldn’t have filled in and done this position as good as I have without your help. You might just be the best nurse I’ve ever worked with.”

“Sam…” She bit her lip, looking away to where she was picking at the polish on her nails. One of his hands covered both of hers, while the other hooked a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

“I’m only going to ask this one more time, while I still can - is everything okay with Sidney?”

There was no mistaking the concern in his eyes. He and Jackie had been riding the crazy train with her since day one, and she knew that she wouldn’t have been able to lie to him about any of it if she wanted to. He had been the one to convince her to go on the date with him, which he considered was his task since Jackie took over getting her to text him after he sent her the flowers. He had been like a big brother through it all, and she was thankful to have a sane voice of reason in her ear when she let her thoughts get too far.

She nodded, swallowing back tears and clearing her throat. “Yeah… It’s a bit confusing right now, but it. We’ll be okay.”

“Good,” He nodded, bringing her in for one last hug. “Now, c’mon. We better get back out there.”



Lyndsey sighed heavily as she reached the locker room, closing her eyes against the silence that she was greeted with. It wasn’t very often that the room was empty when she was coming off her shift, but she’d take the small mercies when they were granted to her.

She peeled off the sweater she had dragged on hours before, ignoring the way her stethoscope slid off her shoulders and onto the floor by her feet when she sat down on the bench in front of her locker. She felt like all of the energy she’d had left in her body had been drained, barely having enough co ordination to run her hands through her hair, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees to take a deep breath. It had been a taxing week, her emotions weren’t made to deal with the constant 180 degree turns she’d been having since she’d left for Pittsburgh. She reached into her pocket to draw out her cell again, re-reading his message for the hundredth time just as voices came through the door at the other end of the stalls, laughter carrying through to where she was yet to move.

“Hey!” Lyndsey looked up slowly to smile at Casey who was standing off to her left side, her bright and sunny smile almost illuminating the room. It dropped a little when she took in the look that was obviously on Lyndsey’s face, taking a step forward with her hand held out. “Is everything alright?”

Lyndsey opened her mouth to reply, but couldn’t figure out a way to put it into words so she just nodded instead, offering a tight smile as she pushed herself up to her feet, opening the door to her locker.

“Oh, well. A couple of us were going to get something to eat before heading home - something gross and greasy and fantastic. You should come with us!”

"Oh, uhm..." She trailed off, looking at everyone's expectant eyes, settling on Jackie who was frowning at her a little instead. "I might just head home."

"Noooo, come out with us! It's just at that little cafe across the road, it'll be fun I promise." Lyndsey got the distinct impression that not many people could say no to Casey's pleading face, watching it light up with her grin again when Lyndsey sighed in resignation.

"Hey, you guys go get a table, we'll catch up in a minute okay?" Jackie nodded at them all, waving them off as they left while she reached into her locker opposite Lyndsey's. She could feel the eyes on the back of her head but didn't want to turn around, busying herself with making sure she had everything she needed in her bag, wrapping her scarf around her neck. "Hey."

She turned around, reaching for the stethoscope in the older nurses hand. "Oh, thank you."

"We gonna talk about whatever's eating you or what?"

She paused, her hand resting on her locker door. ”Nothing's wrong."

Jackie scoffed, shutting her locker and stepping over the bench seat in the middle of the room. "Yeah and the Pope's not a Catholic." When Lyndsey still didn't turn around, she reached forward to put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently until Lyndsey gave up her charade, shoulders slumping as she slowly closed her own locker door. "What's wrong, honey?"

Lyndsey was definitely going to blame the fact that she wasn't talking to her mother that made her turn around for a hug straight away, swallowing the tiny lump in her throat. She wasn't in the mood to cry, not really, but it felt good to have some kind of loving contact from someone she was actually in the same city as. She realised with a start that the last person she'd really hugged, and held onto for longer than two seconds, was Sidney.

After a brutal 12 hour shift she knew that neither of them was up for a deep and meaningful conversation, so she just started win the most pressing issue at the front of her mind. "Boys suck."

Her chin bounce where it was resting on Jackie's shoulder as she laughed, pulling back to move the stray hair off Lyndsey's face with a kind smile.  "Lyndsey, you're almost thirty.” She ignored the scowl she received. "Please don't tell me you're only just now figuring that out."

"No, I'm not," she grumbled, taking a step back and sitting down, Jackie following her motions. "They're... Confusing."

Jackie nodded. "It's true." When Lyndsey didn't continue, she piped up with, "What's he done now?"

"Nothing," she defended, because realistically- he hadn't. They never really talked about telling anyone, it just kind of happened as it went along, people finding out if it was relevant to either of them. "Not really."

Jackie hummed beside her. "Did his brain fall out of his head and into his ass or something? Is that why it's so big?" Lyndsey slapped her on her arm, the both of them laughing quietly. 

"His ass is of no concern of yours."

Jackie grumbled and nudged her shoulder. "Yeah, no thanks to you.” 

Lyndsey couldn't keep the smug grin off her face, happily showing off all her teeth. "It’s a great ass."

"It is."

The wistful sigh that follow that statement had Lyndsey raising an eyebrow. "Jackie."

"Hmm."

"Stop thinking about it."

Jackie narrowed her eyes into a squinty glare. “You're no fun."

"And you're a married woman with a kid! Stop oogling my boyfriend," she protested, rolling her eyes when Jackie stuck out her tongue. She was already looking down, so Lyndsey watched as Jackie reached over to hold her hand, shaking it gently. Waiting for her to actually spill the beans. "He..." She sighed again, thinking of the message on her phone. "He hasn't told his parents about me. Said he hadn't really thought about it."

"Ah." She snapped her head up, watching as Jackie nodded in agreement, rolling her eyes. "Honey, men don't think. Ever. You know this."

She giggled. "Yeah, but-"

"No buts. I don't care who he is, or how scrambled his brain is by now- what with the concussions and his being completely head over heels for you and all," she blatantly ignored Lyndsey's eye roll, because she just kept on going, "Sometimes men just need a good kick up the bum to actually face facts. Unless you don't want him to say anything."

"No, I do!" She insisted, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "I just... When he said he hadn't told his family, it just- it made me feel... Cheap, I guess. Like I was a secret. One he only wanted to share with his team mates, and not anyone else back home." She paused, a thought entering her head. "Maybe he thinks we won't last long enough for me to meet any of his fa-"

"Uh uh, no way. Don't even think like that." Jackie turned her head, forcing her to look her in the eye. "Lyndsey, don't put thoughts in his head. The man just flew you, business class, to come and visit him for a weekend because he couldn't stand to be away from you anymore. He's probably just caught up actually realising he spent the whole weekend finally getting in your pants to even contemplate what his mom is going to think of you."

"What- how- but, I never told you I slept with him!" Lyndsey sputtered, hating as her cheeks started to blush.

"Dear God, if you didn't, I'm going to fly you back there myself so you can get all up on that. If you let that opportunity just go flying by..." But the smile on her face showed she knew everything Lyndsey had done, laughing gently when she hid her face in her hands, equally embarrassed about someone knowing of her sex life, and giddy because she slept with Sidney Crosby. Multiple times. In various places of his house.

And it was great.

"I hate you," she grumbled, but the both of them knew she didn't mean it.

"Stop overthinking things. And since you can't stop fiddling with you phone- call him. I'll tell the others you'll only be a few minutes behind me."

Lyndsey leaned into the side hug Jackie gave her before she stood up, smiling kindly before leaving the room, letting Lyndsey be surrounded by silence once more. She took a deep breath and slid open the lock on her phone, pressing the call symbol next to his name on his text message, biting her lip as it started to ring.

She bit her lip an anxiously, half wishing he'd answer, half wishing her wouldn't before the universe answered for her and his voice came through her ear letting her know she'd reached his voicemail. It was past 9AM where he was so there was no way he wasn't awake, but maybe he was taking a shower; not that it mattered, she could still get her point across.

"Hey," she cleared her throat, and took a deep breath. "I, uh, got your message. Uhm, you can- I mean, not that I have any." She stopped, rolling her eyes. She hadn't been this awkward talking to him in so long. “Ugh, okay. I don’t know why I’m so - Tell you parents. And I'm sorry I turned it all into this huge drama, I was being an idiot and its not even a big deal, not really, so- yeah. Uhh, call-"

The beep in her ear cut off what she planned on saying and she sighed, pressing the 'end call' button on the screen before sliding it back into her bag. "You're an idiot," she told herself, her voice echoing slightly off the metal doors before she stood up and decided she didn't want to be any later for breakfast than she was already.