Master of Timing

True to his word, sixty minutes later Lyndsey could feel soft, warm kisses against her cheek. She stayed still, fighting the smile that wanted to break out across her face, her fingers tightening on the pillow beneath her face slightly.

She was about as subtle as a brick.

“You’re cute when you pretend to be asleep,” He whispered in her ear. And then all of a sudden, it wasn’t his breath making her shiver, but his teeth as they nibbled on her earlobe before making their way agonisingly slow down her neck. By the time he was done, her eyes were wide open and her fingers were almost tearing the pillow case apart.

His hand was like a branding iron from where he had rested it on her hip. When she got herself together enough to take a breath and roll over to face him, his smug grin and twinkling eyes just made her feel hot all over. And it would’ve been rude not to kiss him.

He curled his arms around her and pulled her on top of him, groaning softly when she rocked her hips down into his. He wasn’t hard, but she was on fire and that was all it took to keep her moving so that he’d get with the program. Lyndsey didn’t want to check a clock to see just how many minutes they had left together, so she kept her eyes closed and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling tightly to make him moan against her tongue.

The sheets shifting beneath them, their harsh breathing and the sound of their mouths meeting were the only noises in the room. It was enough to make Lyndsey feel like she was in a bubble. And she never wanted to leave.

“Get these off,” Sidney panted into her cheek, sliding his hands as far down into her pants as he could, squeezing her ass and holding her to his hips when he rolled up into her. She giggled, biting her lip against the gravel tone in his voice and sat up, yanking her shirt off above her head as quickly as possible, the cold air of the hotel room hitting her bare chest and making her shiver.

Until Sidney sat up and sucked on her left nipple, squeezing and rolling her right breast in his hands, holding her as close as possible as if there was any chance she was going to leave.

“Oh God,” She gasped, head thrown back as she ground her hips down onto his. She had never had sex three times in one day, but with how she was feeling at that moment, it was like that morning all over again. “Just…”

Sidney licked and kissed all across her chest then up to her neck, his hands now both tightening on her waist as he met her mouth. “Jesus, you’re gonna make me cum,” He breathed in between kisses, laughing a little when Lyndsey used all her momentum to push him back down on the bed. The laughter choked off to a groan when he realised just what her wiggling above him meant, her mouth hot against his stomach as her nails scratched down his chest. “Babe-”

Lyndsey looked up from the skin she was biting underneath his belly button, the mass of skin and muscle making her mouth go dry. He was flushed and glance down at her quickly before sliding his fingers into her messed up hair.

“You want me to stop?”

He shook his head violently, unable to help the lift of his hips beneath her chest. That was enough for her, so Lyndsey worked quickly on getting his jeans and boxer briefs off, willing herself not to blush and give away just how long it had been since she’d been in that particular situation. She went back to kissing his stomach, her fingers trailing over the ‘V’ shape in his muscles from his torso down to his hips. Lyndsey took his hard cock in her hand, thumbing at the head and looking up through her eyelashes to make a show of sucking the bitter taste off the skin of her thumb.

Lyndsey smirked to herself when he held his breath, focusing her attention to licking the tip and then wrapping her lips around his head. One hand was wrapped around his cock, the other she was leaving to just rest on his thigh - for now.

“Lyndsey…”

She pulled away slowly, lapping at his slit before kissing slowly down to his balls, unable to keep the grin off her face when one of his hands went back to her hair, the other resting on her shoulder. His fingers were twitching and she could tell just how much he wanted to move her, to hold her - to do something. It was evil, but she liked that feeling of how powerful she felt at that moment.

“What do you want?” She breathed, licking her way all the way back up to his tip and leaving open kisses back down.

“Fuck, I don’t even know,” He moaned, his legs shifting on either side of her shoulders. Lyndsey took pity on him and swallowed as much of him as she could, her hand working up and down to cover the rest. His groan filled her ears, and she smirked to herself before moving her head back, keeping up a steady rhythm as Sidney panted in the background.

He had both hands in her hair at some point, not pulling or pushing, just there. Which, she appreciated. In her experience, there was nothing worse than being choked or forced when all she wanted to do was take her time. Because she’d been told a time or two that she was evil, but she figured that it was all in jest and her previous boyfriends hadn’t minded.

Sidney certainly didn’t seem to.

“Fuck, baby. Oh fuck, wait-” The hand that had been curled into her neck was suddenly on her shoulder and pushing her back. Lyndsey was surprised enough that she didn’t fight him, letting go of his cock completely to rub at her lips, wiping away the mess she’d managed to make of himself. She looked up after a moment or two, taking in the way his skin was flushed red, or that his hair had started to matt to his forehead from his sweat or the way his hands reached for her and pulled her up so that he could kiss her urgently.

“What?” She gasped out when she had a chance, losing herself in the feeling of his arms surrounding her, gulping in air as she looked at the ceiling. He was busying himself with the skin on her neck and trying to get his hands as far into her pants as possible without moving them from where they were sitting in the middle of the bed.

He groaned into her collarbone and Lyndsey laughed before shrieking, Sidney throwing her back so that her could straighten her legs and get rid of the rest of her clothes. She had less than two seconds to figure out what was going on before he slid into her, wasting no time in pulling her back up as he moved so that he was on his back.

“Ride me,” He said quietly, brushing her hair back behind one ear. “C’mon,” He urged, using his legs to thrust up into her, hitting her just right and making her moan. Lyndsey felt her hands slip off his shoulders and onto the bed, but it didn’t stop her from moving her hips back and forth, grinding against him in a way that felt so good it almost hurt.

There was no way she was ever going to have better sex again in her life.

The sounds of their mixed breaths, the occasional kiss and groans filled the room as Lyndsey worked to get them both to the end. Sidney’s hands were holding her hips in a vice and occasionally she would dig her nails into his chest, biting her lip against the half moon shape that would momentarily be whited into his skin. BDSM wasn’t in her nature, but something wicked ran through her at the thought of leaving scratch marks on his back enough for the team to mock him over when he next had training.

“What’s that face for?”

She looked down, winking at his frown before she pulled him up to kiss her, moving her legs so that she was sitting in his lap, her legs locked behind him. From that angle, she was able to rock down on him so deep she could feel it in her throat. She dropped one hand from around his shoulders to rub at her clit and it didn’t take much more than that before she came, biting down on his lower lip at that first wave of pleasure.

She slowed her hips as she worked herself through it, whining when Sidney tipped his head back and licked his lips, breathing harshly through his nose. Lyndsey swallowed, her throat incredibly dry, before she rolled her hips against his slowly, knowing full well that he hadn’t cum yet. And she wanted to feel it.

“That all you got?” She teased, sliding her hands back into his hair and pulling hard. His eyes opened slowly to look at her, and she didn’t recognise the man staring back at her. It was the face of someone possessed, someone determined.

Of someone who knew what he wanted.

She ended up on her back again, clearly just along for the ride as Sidney drove his hips into her over and over again, running his hands up and down her arms above her head, to grip her breasts in his palms and run his tongue over her nipples, to losing his hands in her hair as his hips began to stutter.

It was enough to get Lyndsey worked up again. Never in her life had she ever cum twice in one go, and the anticipation was getting to her. She wanted to get there again at the same time he did. “God, you make me feel so good,” She whispered, smiling up at him when he tore his mouth from her chest.

“You close again baby?” He grinned, moving a hand down to touch her. It was almost too much; she was so sensitive from her earlier orgasm, it made her want to twist away from him. But at the same time, she needed it. Craved it, more than anything. “Me too. God, I can’t get enough of you.” He swiped at her bottom lip with his tongue, his moan vibrating from his mouth to hers as they kissed, sharing more air than passion but it was everything she’d ever wanted. “Shit, I’m there. I’m there.”

“Hang on-”

“I can’t- fuck.” Sidney thrust into her once more, their hands tangled together above her head as he bit down on her neck. It was just on the right side of painful. She could feel him in her, both their bodies shaking against each other from the adrenaline. Lyndsey could feel her hair sticking to her neck, to his face as he pulled away, but he just grinned and kissed her quickly, unlinking their fingers as he kissed his way down her body, taking his time to kiss from one nipple to another, before making his way to her belly button, nipping at the skin as he continued down.

“You okay?” He breathed over her clit, the heat from his mouth making her shiver. She jumped at the first touch of his tongue, her heart hammering in her throat as he gently pushed her legs down and out away from his shoulders. He licked and sucked at her clit quickly but softly, his fingers teasing outside her entrance but not doing anything about it.

“Please,” She whined, the sheets that were now pulled taught in her hands creaking from her grip. “Ple-oh God,” She gasped, her shoulders and feet coming up off the bed as he slid two fingers into her, pressing up against her g-spot straight away, rubbing back and forth quick enough to make her see stars. She didn’t have any words left, she barely had time to breath, before it all came crashing down on her, Sid sucking her clit hard over and over as she cried out and came. He licked down and up and it was all she could take, reaching down quickly to tug his hand and pull him back from her, an instant relief.

She didn’t know when her eyes had closed. But all knowledge of the English language had left her. As had all her strength.

She straightened out her legs as best she could, her hand running through his hair as Sidney left wet kisses on the inside of her thighs, moving his shoulders out from under her legs to kiss his way from one hip to the other. “You with me?” He murmured into her skin, his hands brushing up and down slowly in an effort to calm her.

She could feel her heartbeat in every single fibre of her being, from the hairs on her head to her toes. It took all her energy to find a way to lift one hand and give him a thumbs up. She desperately needed water. And another shower.

If she could ever figure out how to make her legs work again.

He chuckled above her, causing her to open her eyes, curious as to how he was so alert. She felt wrecked.

His hair was an absolute mess from where she had ran her fingers through it. And his lips - God, she’d never seen them so full or red or plush and instantly grinned, pulling him down to her so that she could kiss him over and over. She slid her tongue into his mouth, moaning softly when she could taste herself, going with him when he rolled over onto his back.

Their kissing eased into something more gentle as he ran his fingers up and down her back and soon enough Lyndsey found herself resting her cheek on his chest, tracing patterns across his chest through the smattering of chest hair under her fingers. It was nothing like the after glow of the morning; the light hearted atmosphere and giggles were non-existent. She reached around for his wrist and checked the time on his watch that he hadn’t taken off, and bit back the immediately feeling of ‘No!’ that rushed through her when she noticed the time.

He’d have to be at the airport in three hours. She was no way near ready.

“Hey, c’mon,” He urged, taking his arm back and wrapping her up in a hug. He pulled her up against him enough for her to be able to tuck her face into his neck, his biceps tight around her back and not letting her go anywhere. “Don’t do that.”

“I can’t help it,” She pouted, sliding one of her legs between his. She was careful of his cock underneath her thigh, still half hard but clearly sensitive from his intake of breath. “Sorry,” She whispered, kissing the gold chain beneath her lips. She paused for a breath, but closed her eyes and went for it anyway. “I wish you could stay.”

He didn’t say anything straight away. She knew that he couldn’t and she knew he knew that she knew that, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

He had turned his head to speak into her hair. It was quiet, but she heard it as if he’d yelled. “I wish you could come with me.”

Neither of them spoke for a long time. Lyndsey didn’t know what else to say, and she had no experience from the past about dealing with feelings like these that she didn’t know what to do with them. It was Sidney that eventually got them moving, suggesting Lyndsey take a quick shower so that he could fix the sheets and order up some dinner before he had to leave for the airport.

The terrible shampoo and conditioner that is in all hotels did absolutely nothing for the rats nest that Sidney had turned her hair into, but it felt better all the same. She tried to work as many knots out as possible with her fingers. The Sheraton had these big, fluffy white towels, and when Sidney called out through the door that he wanted to go down to the hotel restaurant for food instead of room service and wanted to know if that was okay, she hesitated before she called back an ‘okay’.

And then he opened the door, while she was halfway to wrapping a towel around herself.

She paused, looking up at him. He just had one hand on the door, staring back at her with a soft smile on his face. “Enjoying the view?” She asked quietly, reaching up for another towel for her hair when he chuckled and moved in closer to her.

“Always,” He whispered, kissing her cheek quickly before slipping off the sweats he must’ve put on while she was showering, stepping around her to hit the tap so hot water poured from the shower head.

They didn’t say much to each other as he quickly showered, and Lyndsey used the tiny hair dryer to half fix her hair. It wouldn’t be a good sight to go downstairs in scrubs that were nearly two days old looking like a wet dog. Not with him. He deserved to be seen with someone slightly more put together than that. Lyndsey tried to keep the small smile to herself; as much as she was hesitating watching him leave, the two of them working together in a hotel bathroom to get ready made her feel slightly giddy. Of a time where they’d be doing that same thing on a vacation.

Or even in some far away dream of a house somewhere.

Dinner was a subdued affair. When she asked why he wanted to eat in the restaurant when he didn’t have much time before his flight, Lyndsey noticed the small hint of a blush on his cheeks. And was glad she hadn’t taken a sip of her water when he admitted to calling up for housekeeping to get new sheets.

“Oh my God,” She muttered, feeling her face flame. They were literally out of a movie.

But, like always when it came to him, her time with Sidney was limited and eventually had to end. She couldn’t find many words to speak as she sat on the freshly made bed and watched him pack up his duffle; years of road games making it a well practised habit at that point. Lyndsey couldn’t find it in her to catch his eye, even though she could feel him looking at her, waiting for her to say something. But she didn’t have any idea where to start.

The last time he’d left, she was so overwhelmed by everything that she hadn’t really had a chance to fully comprehend what was even going on in the first place. And to think that it had only been less than two months since before that first date that she was now sitting still, her heart aching for a reason that she knew it shouldn’t have been.

Or not for a reason that was logical, anyway.

“Don’t worry,” He muttered into her hair, when they were outside in the hotels’ parking lot and Sidney had put his bag on the passenger seat. “It won’t be long before it's the playoffs.”

Lyndsey knew he was trying to be optimistic, but she was too caught up in the angst of not wanting him to leave that she couldn’t share his enthusiasm. Then she hated herself for being that selfish and not just appreciating what was literally in her hands.

“I still don’t know if I-”

“Don’t think about the money.”

“It’s not about the money,” She defended, pushing herself back. But he refused to let her go, only letting her move so she was an arms length away. His hands were resting on her hips and he raised an eyebrow at her; waiting out her stubbornness. “It’s not only about the money,” She ceded, looking down to his chain that was untucked from his shirt. “I had to use up a lot of my leave when I got hurt.”

She heard him sigh and the next thing she knew, Lyndsey was pressed up against his body again. Her hands clutched at his shirt and out of nowhere, her eyes filled with tears. Try as she might, she wasn’t able to keep her breath steady and when his voice filled with concern and his arms tightened around her as he softly spoke a “Hey, it’s okay,” into her hair, she couldn’t take it.

“I’m sorry,” She gasped, pulling her arms back from his waist and covering her face, pressing her fingers hard into her eyes to stop acting like an idiot. She decided she was never coming to the Sheraton again, because she was two for two in visits and ending up in tears. Not ideal.

“It’s fine.”

“I’m ruining everything.”

“No, you’re not.”

She pulled back and gave him a ‘you’re kidding me, right?’ glare, sniffling as lady like as she could as she wiped her eyes roughly. It was Sidney’s warm hand on her cheek that made her take a deep breath, eyes closed as his thumbs ran back and forth on her cheeks softly. The soft kiss she was surprised by on her lips made her gasp and tuck her face into his neck, breathing in his cologne deeply as he wrapped her up into a bear hug.

“Don’t you have to check out?” She queried softly, wondering why he hadn’t when he hit the button for the parking lot and not reception when they left the room. His hand moving up and down her back was making her shiver, and she couldn’t tell if it was because of him or because of the weather. It was still Edmonton in March. She shouldn’t have come outside without a jacket.

“Oh,” He cleared his throat, leaning back against the car. “I was thinking maybe you could call Claire.”

Lyndsey frowned into the skin of his neck. “Claire? Why?” Her voice was muffled against the fabric of his henley from where he had an arm around her shoulders. But he was so deliciously warm, she’d speak into his clothes all night if she could.

“I’ve booked the room until tomorrow. You should see if she’s free, maybe hang out or stay with you.”

Stay with you. Like he didn’t think she could be alone.

“I’ll be okay,” She defended, unable to keep the guarded tone out of her voice.

“I know you will be.” Sid was quick to calm her down, tilting her chin up so that he could look her in the eyes. The concern she saw there made her warm up to his idea a little bit. “I just…” He sighed, shrugging a little. “You seemed so sad when you left Pittsburgh last time and then with the car accident and everything - I would feel better knowing that you’ve got a friend with you. Not that I don’t think you- I’m going about this all wrong.” Lyndsey bit back the smile that she could feel starting at her cheeks, letting him side step out from their hug to pace by the car.

“You.” He put his hands in his pockets, shrugging a little but still showing some frustration. “You don’t - I mean, clearly you do know, I’m not alone here but I hate not being able to help you out when you’re upset or mad or lonely and if forcing you to have a girls night with your best friend while I leave you, again, to go sit on a plane is the best thing I can do, then that’s what’s going to happen.”

The silence between them was palpable; it was only after he stopped talking did Lyndsey realise just how loud his voice had echoed in the space they were in. He shook his head again when she didn’t reply and went back to pacing up and down. It’s not that she didn’t know what to tell him, it was more that she was enjoying the unsettled demeanour he was showing. She couldn’t ever remember a time that Sidney Crosby stumbled over his words.

“Okay,” She agreed with a whisper, smiling softly when he turned around to face her. “I’ll text her.”

“Now.”

Lyndsey rolled her eyes. “I don’t think I need to right this sec- Hey!” Sidney walked over and reached into her pocket, where Lyndsey knew her phone was. He held it out to her. “High handed much?”

He had her wrapped up before she even blinked, digging his fingers into her side to tickle her. “I’ll show you high handed.”

Her giggles and occasional squeal echoed off the walls and cars they were surrounded by. Lyndsey tried to worm her way out of his hold but he ended up just picking her up and setting her on the trunk of the car, careful to not let her slide off once she begged for mercy. They were both panting by the end of it, but if he was trying to distract her by getting her laugh, it had worked. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him, tapping away a quick message to her best friend to see if she could meet up. He nodded when she turned the phone around as proof.

“Good.”

“You’re-” But whatever he was, she didn’t get a chance to tell him as he pulled her into a kiss. It was passionate, but slow, and her arms felt like molasses as she rested her arms around his shoulders, sliding forward when he pulled her legs around his waist. They tongues meant gently, moving against each other in a pace that was unhurried and different to most of the kisses the two of them had shared since Sidney had showed up at the hospital.

His hands were gripping her tightly on her hips, his body radiating a warmth she didn’t have. It was easy enough for her to forget everything else and just be in the moment, sliding a hand into his hair to hold on and pull gently, relishing in the moan that vibrated against her tongue. One of his hands started to roam, feeling around underneath her tank top beneath her scrubs to reach her skin, sliding up ever so slowly across ribs and around her back, resting between her shoulder blades.

The screech of wheels in the near distance was enough to break them apart, Lyndsey opening her eyes quickly to see what was near them. Sidney didn’t seem to care, moving to pull her into a hug and kissing her from shoulder to neck. She thought for sure that he’d be able to feel how hard her heart was beating when he reached the skin just under her jaw, but if he did he didn’t say anything.

Her phone was still in her hand. So when Claire’s message appeared on the screen, Lyndsey could see it right in front of her face. “Claire’s on her way,” She muttered, clicking the screen black again before making her arms grow tighter around his neck. She knew he had to leave to make his flight.

His deep breath made her eyebrows furrow together in protest. She didn’t want to cry again, but her eyes had other ideas and the stinging pain from behind her eyelids made her want to curse her own body for betraying her. She wasn’t a waterworks kind of person. She could do this. She was stronger than this.

“I miss you already.”

Except for when he goes and says things that make her want to melt into a puddle.

“You can’t miss me if I’m still here,” She tried to joke, pulling away and brushing her hand under her eye as it leaked a tear. He shook his head, kissing her forehead gently.

“I think you’ll find that I can,” He argued, stepping back and setting her down on her own two feet. Since she couldn’t spend all night on the trunk of the car. That he needed to drive off in. Any minute now.

“Text me when you land?”

He shook his head, linking one of their hands together while the other played with her hair. “You’ll be asleep by the time I get in.”

“I don’t care.”

“Lynds…”

“I don’t care what time or when you text me Sid. Just as long as you do.” And whatever was showing on her face was clearly enough for him to see that he wasn’t going to win the argument, so he gave in without a fight, bending down to give her a soft, closed mouth kiss.

He pulled away gently, squeezing her hand once before speaking a ‘Bye, baby,’ into her hair. She echoed the sentiment and let him get in the car, wrapping her arms around herself now that she no longer had a human radiator to keep her warm. She moved out of the way slowly, watching the car reverse towards the exit before the brake lights came on and the window rolled down.

She curiously made her way over, bending down to see what he wanted.

“’D’ stands for drive,” She pointed out helpfully, trying to grin. It almost worked.

“Thanks,” He laughed softly, looking up at her. But what she saw didn’t make her feel any better. It seemed that since he was in the car, he could let his guard down a bit. Because his face didn’t seem as calm and collected as the rest of him had appeared to be only minutes before. “It’ll pass by like that,” He pointed out, clicking his fingers.

Lyndsey had the feeling time was actually going to move incredibly slow, but kudos to him for being cautiously optimistic. She hoped one day she could have that about of blind faith in things out of her control.

“You’re gonna miss your flight.”

“I know.”

Not willing to let that happen - because Sidney not being in Pittsburgh was worth more than her at that point - she kissed him gently again before forcing herself to walk away and head towards the elevator, determined to not look up until the doors closed and she was alone.

The teary eyed reflection stared back at her in the mirror.

A middle of the range hire car made its’ way towards the international terminal.



"Uh-uh, no fuckin' way am I sitting on that thing," Claire pulled a face at the bed once they reached the hotel room, putting on a show of being disgusted before choosing one of the stuffed chairs by the window. 

Lyndsey laughed at her friend, her own eyes landing on the freshly, perfectly made bed. Her cheeks grew hot knowing what she'd spent most of the day doing in that bed and when Claire started to snicker and tease, she couldn't even bring herself to mind. 

It had been the most amazing 16 hours of her life. Not just because of the sex--which she'd be feeling for days--but because of being with Sidney. Having him with her, being able to touch him when it felt so long since she'd last been with him and even longer until her next visit. Being able to hang out with him, like they were any normal couple in the world. She'd never wanted it to end. 

Claire had texted her almost an hour before. She got caught in traffic from some accident that left Lyndsey sitting in the lobby for far longer than she wanted. But when Claire turned up with a duffel of fresh clothes, she was instantly forgiven. 19 minutes ago, she got in the elevator, choosing to wait in the lobby than go up to the room alone. God, she missed him; everything about him. His voice, his laugh, the way his eyes would squeeze shut when he was laughing hard and carefree. The way he said her name. His hazel-gold eyes and how, when he was looking at her, they both softened and sparkled at the same time. His touch. The way he kissed her forehead. She missed running her fingers through his hair. The way he smelled; comforting and intoxicating. How he held her, so warm and tight and protected. She'd never in her whole life felt so important to one person, so special, so wanted and safe. It was thrilling. 

It was terrifying. 

"What's terrifying?"

She blinked at Claire, realizing she must have spoken aloud. Her friend looked startled and confused, which was fitting. She kind of felt the same way. 

Sniffing and swiping her fingers over her eyes, Lyndsey turned to the small duffel on the bed. "Thanks for this. I'll just change in the--"

"No, hold on," Claire interrupted. "What's terrifying?"

Me and my stupid mouth, she thought, rubbing her eyes once more. She was too tired for this conversation. Too emotional, too on the verge of falling apart. But it was too late. She'd already said it and knew there was no way in hell that Claire would let it go. She might as well get it over with. 

Lyndsey sat on the end of the bed, facing Claire but not quite able to meet her eyes. She focused on her lap instead, on playing with the edge of the fleece blanket folded beneath her at the edge of the bed. 

"This," she said finally. "This whole thing, this...Sidney is terrifying."

A beat of silence. And then, "Why?"

She laughed once, though it sounded more like a small sob. "I don't even know, Claire. I don't know how to explain it, he just...I..." Stopping, Lyndsey pressed her lips together and tried to focus. She was making more of a mess than anything, as usual, and needed to find her words before she made a complete idiot of herself. "If you had told me six months ago that I'd be sitting here in a hotel room where I'd just spent an entire day with my boyfriend Sidney freaking Crosby, I would have laughed in your face. And probably taken you in for a psych consult because it would have sounded crazy. It is crazy. The distance, the fact that some days texting is the only way we can keep in touch, staying up late to FaceTime because seeing his face for five minutes even if he's exhausted is better than not at all, the wondering when we'll get to be together again and if it will be for longer than a weekend. Missing him so much it hurts, wondering if he..." she stopped there, knowing she couldn't keep going with that comment. That was just a whole different kind of crazy entirely. 

"Lyndsey." Claire sounded incredulous. "The guy just flew from the other side of the damn continent to surprise you and spent the whole day--probably his only day off--with you in a hotel room. He could have done anything else, caught up on sleep, seen his family, but he chose you. You can't honestly wonder if he misses you."

She huffed. "Sometimes I wonder why he's with me at all."

"Are you fucking--"

"Don't. Please," she added when Claire started to argue. "I already know I'm an idiot for thinking that, okay? I don't need reminding."

Claire grumbled something about wanting to beat her stupid before asking, "Does Sidney know about that?"

Lyndsey swallowed heavily and nodded once. "He hates it."

"Of course he hates it. You're his girlfriend. He cares about you and having to explain why is maddening. You have to at least know that.”

"I do. But it doesn't change how I feel, Claire. I've never..." She took a deep breath. Okay, time to be honest. "I've never had anyone make me feel the way he does. Like I'm special. Like I'm...like I matter. I know I have my mom and I have you and Brent and Jackie but with Sidney, it's different. He makes me feel..." So much. Too much. "Claire, he makes me feel good enough and I've never felt that before. Ever."

"Lyndsey--"

"I can't even explain it. I can't explain how I feel when he looks at me or touches me or when he tells me how he feels about me. I can't explain it because I can't fucking believe it, you know? I can't believe I'm here, in this moment, missing him so much I can't breathe when he was literally just with me an hour ago." She was crying now, fat tears rolling down her cheeks and off her chin. She didn't even notice Claire had moved until she sat beside her on the bed to gently rub her upper back. It reminded Lyndsey of when Sidney had held her that afternoon, and that evening before he left, how his hands had rubbed her back to soothe her when she'd been so close to breaking down. Thinking of it now just made her cry harder. 

"All I want to do is be with him--it wouldn't even matter where, as long as we're together and how ridiculous is that? How...how corny and cliche and pathetic but it's the absolute fucking truth. He's thousands of miles away all the time, his life and responsibilities are insane and it's hard. I had no idea how hard being away from him would be until--well, until I knew. But when I'm with him it's so amazing and it's all I want and it scares the shit out of me." The laugh that bubbled out of her was sad and full of tears that blurred her eyes and made her throat hurt. But she couldn't stop talking. "It scares me because he--he is all I want. He's all I want and I--oh God, Claire, I think I--" 

The buzz of her cell phone against her thigh startled her, had her fumbling to pull it from her pocket. Sidney had texted her. 

About to take off. Hope you're having a good time with Claire. Remember what I said about room service-order all you want. My treat. I'll call you when I land. 

And then, 

Miss you so much baby. .

Lyndsey took one look at her screen and burst into tears, handing the phone over to Claire before she got up to go into the bathroom. She forced herself to wash her face, taking the deepest breaths she could to calm herself down. Even though the room and all the charges were on Sidney, she didn’t have to be a sad sack about the whole thing and drag Claire down with her. Claire had been by her side for the last ten years of her life, and especially the previous month when she couldn’t do anything for herself. She deserved to be spoilt.

Even if it was at Lyndsey’s boyfriends’ credit card expense.

“Lyndsey?”

“I’m okay,” She croaked, clearing her throat and drying off her face with a hand towel. She took three deep breaths and reached for the tap again, cupping her hands to take big gulps of water. She needed to get it together.

“Hey,” Claire peeked her head around the corner, eyes soft and friendly and not at all judgemental which was entirely what Lyndsey deserved for being ridiculously over-emotional. “How about I go get some Ben & Jerry’s and Oreo’s and whatever else I can find in that convenience store across the street and we marathon something on pay-per-view and just relax, huh?”

Lyndsey will never, ever know how she got blessed with someone so amazing, but she was thankful in that moment that the lucky stars had been in her favour in high school.

“Cookies & Cream?” She countered, managing to laugh when Claire grinned and wrapped her up in a hug.

“I’ll be back in like five minutes. And then we are going to lay like broccoli and spoil ourselves and book in for massages tomorrow before we have to check out and you can tell that stupidly good looking guy of yours that I say thanks, kay?”

“Okay,” She whispered, holding the towel to her face again to hide her smile as Claire left the room, shouting about more candy options as the door closed.

Lyndsey took a deep breath and closed her eyes, stepping out into the main room and swiping up her phone to see the same texts on the screen. He would probably have been in the air by then, so she took a deep breath and let her thumbs tap on the screen, not taking a second to think or spell check or fix her grammar before hitting ‘Send’ and biting her lip, waiting anxiously for the bubble to show ‘Delivered’ underneath.

i keep thinking one day ill wake up and this would’ve all been a dream. how good you look when you smile. how much i love your laugh. i daydream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversations; laughing at funny things you said or did. I’ve memories of your face and the way that you look at mine. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine. I wonder what will happen the next time we are together and even though neither of us know that the future holds, I know one thing for sure you’re the best thing that has even happened to me. whatever it takes, ill be there for the playoffs.

i promise.