Master of Timing

“Well, I’m in two minds,” Brent started, loading more salsa on his chip. Lyndsey and Claire shared a look. “I don’t want you to go, because I love you. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Lyndsey agreed, smiling.

“But,” He shrugged, speaking through his food like a heathen. “I dunno. It sounds like he really needs you, you never take chances like this and honestly? Apart from us two, and your Mom and that deliciously handsome doctor at your work, you don’t really have a lot keeping you in Edmonton. Also, hockey butt.”

Claire hit him over the back of the head so that Lyndsey wouldn’t have to, but even deep-down Lyndsey knew that he was partially right. After his phone call, and two text messages she’d sent that had been ignored, she’d called her best friends and said that she needed their help.

And margaritas. Lots and lots of margaritas.

“But this is my home,” She protested weakly, stirring her drink. “The only person I know in Pittsburgh-”

“Is Sidney and his teammates and their wives and children and you’ve met his parents AND his sister,” Claire pointed out, raising an eyebrow and waving a finger. “Girl, you probably know more people there than you do here.”

“My entire family is here!”

“Okay,” Brent cleared his throat. “Your Mom, yes. Some cousins that you see twice a year, maybe. And that shit head of a father you share DNA with.” Lyndsey opened her mouth to argue but he cut her off, too. “Let’s say all of them tell you it’s a good idea, and that they will be fine without you and that you should go. Do you?”

Lyndsey sighed. It felt like an almost impossible question to answer. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do,” Claire stated. “Look, we wouldn’t be saying this if we didn’t have your absolute best interests at heart, you know that right?” Lyndsey nodded. “I think you need to do this. For you. Not for him.”

“He’s the one that asked me to come.”

“Yes, but you’re the one that needs to actually take this chance for what it is. Remember what I told you when I picked you up earlier this year from a weekend there?”

Lyndsey remembered the car ride, but not much else. “When I told you he said he loved me?”

Claire nodded. “That’s the one. You said you didn’t say back and that you were scared and that you weren’t sure it would really go anywhere and how could he really love you when you hadn’t spent that much time together and I said that it might be nice to have a change of pace.”

“Yeah, for a vacation!”

“No.” Claire shook her head. “Brent’s right, we love you. But you’re not happy here. I don’t know if you can see it, but he’s changed you. In the most amazing way.”

Lyndsey took a gulp of her drink, looking between them both. “I don’t feel changed.”

“Oh my God,” Brent cried out, slapping a hand down on top of hers. “When he calls you, your smile is brighter than the sun. Do you know that? It’s nauseating to watch. But also, ugh. Gimme some of that.” He started counting on his hands, “You laugh more, you sometimes look like you’re walking on clouds, you are so unbelievably sad when you come home, or he leaves, and I know sometimes that’s because of a fight but mostly I think it’s because you can not stand being away from him.”

“I don’t want to be changed like that,” She stated, waving a hand in his face. “I hate that he can affect me like that.”

“Again, no you don’t. You’re scared that he can make you feel like that,” Claire pointed out, Brent nodding. “Not that we’re experts on love or anything, but we’re experts on you. He treats you better than anyone has probably treated another person and I get that it’s a lot but my God, if anyone deserves it Lyndsey, it’s you. You save literal lives for a living. You keep everyone around you together and you’re the most selfless human being on the planet.”

Lyndsey swallowed, blushing and downed her drink. She wasn’t big on attention, even if it came from two people she trusted most. “I’m not so sure about-”

“Dear God-”

“No, Brent,” She snapped, crossing her arms. “You don’t get it. It’s all well and good to sit here and tell me to go running off to another country for a guy. Yes, a remarkable guy who is nice and kind and loves me and I love him and wants to do all these things with me but I would feel – would know that I’m sacrificing way more than he will. And that’s … I don’t know if I can do that.” Her voice had dropped to almost a whisper and while she was preoccupied blinking away tears, Brent and Claire grinned at each other. She cleared her throat and looked up, frowning at them instantly. “What?”

“That’s the first time you’ve said you loved him.” Brent looked like he was going to start a parade.

“What?”

“You said, ‘I love him’,” Claire repeated, finishing her drink as well, flagging down their waiter. “If we could please have another round, that would be great.” Their waiter nodded and walked away, all while Lyndsey sat still. “Girl… Okay.” She waved her hands. “Let’s forget all the logistics for a second.”

“Say that again,” Brent murmured.

“Logistics,” Claire barrelled on. “Forget Lorraine and work and hot Doctors Michaels. Tomorrow morning, you wake up and you’re in his bed- Nothing kinky.”

“But-” Brent sighed when Claire snapped her fingers in his face. Lyndsey felt herself smile.

“Tomorrow morning. In bed, you’re well rested, everyone’s teeth are brushed, your hair looks like something from a Disney movie; how do you feel?”

Lyndsey took a breath, looking between them both before fiddling with her napkin. She tried to picture it – he was back in Pittsburgh, so she imagined the taupe walls in his master suite, the dark wood furnishings, the 1000 thread count linen on his bed, the way the sunlight would stream in through the window in the bathroom through the door he never closed. She could see him, clear as if he was with them in the restaurant; hair a little messed up from sleep, his eyes soft and crinkling at the edges when he smiled at her, voice gruff as he whispered ‘Good morning’ and pulled her closer, kissing her forehead and taking a deep breath while he snuggled in closer to her hair. His bare chest warm underneath her cheek, his heartbeat a steady comfort to her ears, his arm tight around her, but fingers soft as they traced patterns on her shoulder. He’d try to squirm away from her if she tickled his side gently, maybe letting her get away with it before rolling them both over and resting above her, brushing her hair away from her face and kissing her gently, his thumb brushing against her jaw while he showed her how happy he was to wake up with her.

She could see it all. As easy as breathing.

“God, I wish I was that in love,” Brent sighed at her distant expression, going in for more salsa. Lyndsey blushed, glancing at Claire who was just smirking at her, knowingly.

She understood what they were getting at. And while she was struggling to admit it, she wanted that perfect morning. She wanted to only have to say goodbye to him as he was leaving for a road trip, to be able to do the mundane things like grocery shopping or loads of laundry or walking around the neighborhood while the weather was still nice. She wanted it all.

“-even help writing it, they’ll be pissed but who cares,” Claire shrugged, dropping the lime from her glass rim to the table.

Lyndsey took her new drink, sliding it in front of her and doing the same. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re resignation letter.”

She gulped. And then took some of her drink. “I don’t…” Brent raised his eyebrows. “Okay, look. Maybe, maybe I’m entertaining the idea. But, I don’t want to quit my job just yet. If I’m-” She cleared her throat. “I think it would be better if I just, went for a few weeks, maybe a month. Just so that we can get some things sorted.”

The two of them looked like they wanted to argue, but when she pointed out that quitting a job she’d had for nearly a decade to move to a country she didn’t even have a visa for was beyond idiotic, they paused. Claire sighed, picking up her drink and holding it in front of her.

“To logistics.”

Brent and Lyndsey laughed, echoing her and clinking their glasses together.



“Mom?” Lyndsey called as she walked up the stairs the next morning from the basement, yawning behind her hand. She had tossed and turned once she was finally tired enough to sleep, and could already tell that her next shift was going to be one of the longest she'd work.

Lorraine was in the living room, her cup of coffee steaming and feet up on the Ottoman, watching the afternoon news report. She 'hmm'ed at Lyndsey and went back to watching the weather.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

Lyndsey paused, tucking her feet up underneath her legs. She had her phone in her hand, and flipped it over and over while trying to think of the best way to start the conversation. Her silence was telling, Lorraine raised an eyebrow and reached for the remote, hitting the 'mute' button. "I had a call from Sidney a couple of days ago," She started, clearing her throat.

"... Yes? Do you not normally speak to your boyfriend?"

The sarcasm could be spotted a mile away, and Lyndsey playfully rolled her eyes. "It wasn't a pleasant conversation."

Her Mom sat quietly and listened as Lyndsey stumbled through the phone call. As well as how tense their relationship had been since she'd flown home. She'd never really told her Mom why she came home earlier than expected, she just brushed over the fact and made it seem like everything was fine. From the look on her Mom's face, not only did Lorraine not believe her, but she knew Lyndsey had been hiding something the whole time. And when Lyndsey mentioned that Sidney has asked her to come back, and had asked her to stay, she didn't react the way her daughter was expecting.

"What's stopping you from going?"

Lyndsey gaped, staring at her mother before closing her mouth and looking around the room. "What do you mean 'what's stopping me'?" She used air quotes, scoffing. "Maybe the fact that everything I know of, is here. Work, my friends, you Mom. My whole life is in Edmonton!"

"Your whole life," Lorraine scoffed, turning off the TV and turning to face her daughter. "Lyndsey, you've never left Edmonton. You grew up here, went to school here, graduated college here and have worked here. Life is supposed to be about living it. Going places, meeting new people, falling in love. Getting your heart broken." Lyndsey frowned at the last one. "Not breaking your own damn heart by being to blind to see what good thing is in front of your face."

"What is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean what's wrong with me?"

Lyndsey stood up and started to pace back and forth. "What happened to you not trusting him because he's a hockey player? You're the one who doesn't trust him and now you're pushing for me to go and live with him in another country! You're supposed to be the practical one!"

Lorraine stood up too, pointing her finger, "Honey, I'm watching you practically ruin one of the best things to ever happen to you, because you're being a chicken!"

Lyndsey sputtered. "A chi- I am not-"

"A chicken shit. And a blind one at that. I haven't even met this boy but I can see it." She grabbed her daughter by the shoulders, looking her square in the eye. "You need to get out of here. Maybe not forever, but definitely for now. Otherwise, you'll end up stuck here. And resenting the chance to go and live a little. Trust me," She sighed, stepping back with a stern look.

"Mom..." Lyndsey trailed off softly.

"Oh, psh!" Lorraine waved her hand, turning around and picking up her cup. "And now my coffee is cold!" She began to walk back to the kitchen, leaving Lyndsey standing by the sofa, still in shock. "So help me God, Lyndsey," she poked her head back around the wall separating the kitchen from the living room. "Do not use me as an excuse to stay here."

"I'm not! I..." She huffed, walking to the other room. "Mom, you're honestly going to stand here and say 'Sure honey, go live in America with its guns and it's batshit crazy President and no way to earn an income and living with a man I've never met and only know of from TV.' You're honestly going to say that?!"

Lorraine put down her mug, resting her hands on the bench top by the kitchen sink and stared out their window that faced the vacant backyard. The Keurig machine hissed as it started to run a new mug of coffee, and the clock on the wall by Lyndsey's head was ticking softly, mocking her as she waited impatiently for her Mom to see sense.

"After your Dad..." She trailed off, clearing her throat but keeping her back to her daughter. "After he did what he did, I thought about leaving. About not being here in this city where we still had mutual friends or could possibly run into each other." She looked over her shoulder. "I thought about taking you somewhere he couldn't hurt you like that, ever again." Lyndsey bit her lip, hating the pain she could hear in Lorraine's voice, even all these years later. She knew for a fact that her parents' divorce destroyed her Mom far more than she ever realised as a kid and it was still a sensitive topic.

Lorraine picked up her coffee, stirring in her creamer and sugar, before crossing the room and tapping her daughter on the nose. "Lyndsey, you don't like your job. You like the friends at your job," She raised her voice as Lyndsey started to protest, cutting off her argument. "You are good at what you do and I know you take pride in helping people. And you should." She took a sip and nodded. "You said it's only for a little while. So, I think you should go. He's offering to take care of you while you're there. And," Lorraine sighed, fiddling with the hair that had come loose from Lyndsey's braid while she slept. "You've only ever spent, at most, a couple of weeks together at a time. Maybe this way, you can really get to know each other. What you both like, what you don't. How annoying he is when he snores."

Lyndsey laughed, shaking her head. "I don't mind that."

Lorraine gave her a 'you're so gone' look that rivalled Claire. "What I'm saying, is that you can't do this whole long distance, random weekends thing forever honey. You're both adults, and for the next few years it's not like he has the option to move here." She gave Lyndsey a hug, tightening her arms around and kissing her head. "Don't use me as an excuse to stay. I want you to be happy. And if right now, he's what makes you happy then you need to make that last as long as it can."

With one last squeeze of her hand, Lorraine went back to the living room, turning on the TV and settling back into her chair. Lyndsey looked after her, biting her lip anxiously before looking down at her phone. Her lock screen was still that selfie from when she'd first gone to Pittsburgh; her cheeks red with the cold and Sidney looking at her. It seemed so long ago, but in fact had only been near the beginning of the year. So much had changed in 6 months, she felt like, and not all of it for the better.

She quickly opened her phone, sending a text to Claire. She had a letter to write.