Why'd You Want to Go and Make Me Feel This Way?
Three.
When I got back on the bus, it was perfectly quiet, meaning everyone had passed out or fallen asleep. I heard light snores coming from the back, and I recognized them immediately. I quietly walked to the back, finding a snoring Sawyer sprawled across the couch in the back. I grabbed a blanket and covered him with it, then fixed him a glass of water for in the morning. He had stirred while I was gone, and I stood there for a minute watching his eyes slowly open.
"Hey, come here." He patted a spot on the couch as he moved to his side. I sat down and he wrapped an arm around my waist. "Sorry I was a fucking loser tonight."
"Don't worry about it, bud."
"No, you shouldn't be treated like that."
"You're right, and that's why I left."
"Where'd you guys go? We looked around at a few bars and couldn't find you two. Ashton tried calling him a few times and he wouldn't pick his phone up."
"We went and talked in the park." I pushed some hairs out of Sawyer's face, "Neither of us needed anymore to drink. Just go to sleep, we've got a long day of traveling ahead of us tomorrow." I leaned down to kiss his forehead and he closed his eyes again.
"Night, Rose."
"Goodnight." I said and walked out of the small back room, not wanting to get myself ready for bed. After I washed my face, I changed into a big t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. I checked my phone to see the time, 4:23. I let out a groan and tucked myself into bed.
--
"You lot look like you're the walking dead." A crew member muttered as we passed by them. I think 3 of us shot them the bird as we made our way to the dressing room. I had already changed into wardrobe for tonight . I wanted to spend as little time doing anything today, unless it involved nursing my hangover. The move to a new city had made all of us feel even worse. Sawyer split off from us to go hang out with 5SOS, leaving me, Seth, Ryan and Jackson in a room to ourselves.
I sat long ways across one of the lounge chairs that were put in our room and closed my eyes, hoping the pizza we requested would be delivered soon. I felt a nap coming on, so I gladly welcomed it.
"Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY." I felt someone pulling on my bun.
"What?" I swattted the hand away and curled closer into the chair.
"Michael ate all of the pizza."
"What?!" I jumped out of the chair to come face to face with Calum. "Say that again? Why are you waking me up without bringing me pizza that Michael is replacing? I guess you guys want a hungover, puking band opening up for you because that's what you're going to get."
"Take it up with him! I'm just the messenger." He shrugged and left me alone in the room. I let out a frustrated groan and stomped off behind him, following him to their dressing room. I walked into the room and was about to start yelling until I spotted several boxes of pizza piled high.
"You're all assholes, you know that?" I grabbed a paper plate and two pieces of cheese pizza.
"Your stomach's going to huuuuuuurt." Jackson reminded me.
"I don't really care right now." I stood as I ate my pizza, the boys were all taking up the seats in the room. I wasn't bothered, but Ashton finished his pizza and offered me his spot on the seat beside Michael. I shook my head, "No, it's fine. Sit back down."
"I don't bite." Michael looked back at me and I rolled my eyes and plopped down beside him. "Just cheese?"
"Yeah." I said with my mouth full. When I looked up to take a bite of my pizza, Sawyer was staring at me. I inwardly groaned, too hungover and tired to deal with his diva attitude today.
"How's your hangover?" Michael asked me, trying to make small talk on the loveseat.
"How do you think?" I rudely shot back. "I stand by my statement of you guys trying to kill me last night."
"I think you tried killing me." He winked at me, and nudged me with his knee... And then I remembered. Fuck, I remembered last night. I felt the vomit rising in my throat. I tossed my plate of pizza on the ground and ran out of the room, searching frantically for the bathroom. I kneeled, making an offering to the porcelain gods, cursing myself for being so fucking stupid. How could I have done that last night? I heard the squeaky door open and close. "It says the ladies bathroom for a reason." I muttered before heaving up some more pizza and rum.
"Just thought you might need some help." I felt a cool rag on the back of my neck. "Need anything?"
"No, it's fine."
"I didn't know I'd repulse you so badly."
"Michael, I'm hungover. You aren't why I'm throwing-" My body convulsed once more as a few tears escaped my eyes. I always cried when I threw up. "Up." I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes, trying not to mess my makeup up. Michael tossed me another damp towel and I wiped my mouth free of all the puke that had landed on my lips. I sat back against the bathroom wall and closed my eyes. I took a few deep breaths to regain my composure.
"You look really pretty." Michael mumbled, and I opened my eyes too see him sitting on the bathroom sink counter, kicking his feet. He resembled a giant child who was playing with his hands in his lap. His bottom lip had a constant pout to it, and all I wanted to do was bite it. I realized I was still staring at Michael and hadn't said anything back to him.
"Th-" Another wave of nausea hit me as I tried speaking, and I crawled back to the toilet. I felt him rubbing my back as I spit the last bit of vomit into the toilet. He flushed for me and handed me a clean towel to wipe my mouth with again. "Thanks. For that and the compliment."
"You think you're done?" I sat and thought about it, and didn't feel like there was anything left in me to throw up, so I nodded. Michael pulled me up by my arms and helped steady me.
"Thank you." I pulled him into a hug and felt him kiss the top of my head. "You know we can't let them find out? Sawyer would actually probably cut your dick off."
"Yeah, I know. I already thought about it." He chuckled. "But that's okay. I don't mind sneaking." He squeezed me a little tighter. I broke away as I heard the door open and looked to see one of our crew members had brought me my tooth brush. I thanked him for bringing it to me, I knew none of my bandmates could stand seeing puke, so they were probably too scared to come in the room.
"Well I'll go find you some Gatorade to chug before the show." Michael left me alone to brush my teeth and I took my time walking back to our dressing room.
Seth welcomed me back with a side hug, "You okay?"
I nodded and gave him a thumbs up, "Yeah. I'll be fine."
"You ready to go on?" Jackson asked me, and I glanced at the clock. Apparently my nap took up most of the afternoon and it was 15 minutes until showtime.
"Ready as I'll ever be tonight, I guess." I shrugged as we all walked to the stage. I knew I wasn't going to perform tonight as well as I wanted to, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I heard my name being called as all of my wires were getting strapped on and I turned around to see Michael sprinting-- yes, sprinting-- to me with a Gatorade in hand. I reluctantly caught it and drank it as quickly as I could before we were being pushed on stage.
"How'd you get him so whipped already?" Jackson asked me between songs and I playfully shoved him and looked to the side stage to see Michael and Luke watching our performance. I fought back a grin as I started talking between songs.
"You guys are amazing tonight, did you know that?" I let the crowd answer back in yells, "I'm sorry I'm a little bit under the weather tonight, a couple of assholes took us out last night to celebrate being a part of this wonderful tour. So thanks for coming early to listen to us and I see a few of you who are just now taking your seats. And to you guys... You should have been here earlier! This is our last song!" We finished our set and ran off the stage to be greeted with "good jobs", "congratulations" and towels to help wipe our sweat off.
I was feeling 100% better after getting our set over with, and even more relieved that tomorrow was a day off. We would be traveling on the bus all night tonight, and into the first part of the morning but once we reached our destination we would be camped out for the rest of the day until the show the following night.
"Hey we're all watching movies tonight on their bus. You up for it?" Seth bounced over to my bunk, where I had already made myself comfortable for the night.
"Is everyone else going?" I pulled my curtain back completely to find him in pajamas as well.
"Yeah, buses are leaving in 10 so go ahead and gather your stuff and come on over."
I sighed and kicked my feet over the sides, hopped out and let out a yawn and a stretch. I grabbed a sports bra to put back on under my shirt, and pulled on a pair of black leggings instead of the really short shorts I always slept in. I slid my Birkenstocks on, grabbed my favorite blanket and made my way over to the 5SOS bus. Everyone had already picked their spot on either the couch or floor in front of the tv they had, leaving no room for me.
"Where am I supposed to sit?" I muttered and pouted, and Sawyer scooted over to make room for me between him and Ashton.
I glanced at Michael who was sitting at Ashton's feet and he gave me a questioning look, but I didn't have any time to hesitate as I took my spot. Sawyer wrapped an arm around me to make more room and I tried to relax, but I couldn't. I couldn't pay attention to the movie we were watching because he was petting my shoulder, and I felt inclined to lay my head down on his shoulder, thinking it would help me. Any other time I would have been fine with it, but after how he acted to me the night before, I wasn't interested in having anything to do with him but I didn't want to make it awkward and deny him completely. The closer he pulled me into him, the more I was pushing him away in my mind. I had never thought about Sawyer like this. I had never been so annoyed with him, and I couldn't understand quite why I felt like I did. I thought about how I would have rather have Michael's pale, tattooed arm wrapped around me, snuggling into his neck and brushing my nose against his jawline that hadn't been shaved in a few days. I thought about how good he smelled last night, or what I could remember.
I started to relax my body into Sawyer's side and I looked up at him, to see him smiling. We were always like this, always cuddling, hugging and joking. Where was my animosity towards him coming from? He had cock blocked me plenty of drunken nights before, but it had never made me as mad as I was now. My thoughts kept repeating in my head, until the end of the movie I was seething with anger. I repelled myself off the couch, jumped over the boys to grab something to drink from their refrigerator, and when I returned, Sawyer thanked me and grabbed my beer from me. I groaned as his smug self drank from the glass that was intended for me, "Fuck you." was all I could say. I think he thought I was kidding, until when he tried putting his arm around me again, I pushed him away. Ashton got up to change the movie out, and Michael stood up and walked to the refrigerator. When he came back, he stole Ashton's seat, and had two beer in his hands. He handed me one of them. I quietly thanked him, and Ashton silently took a seat on the floor at Michael's feet.
I fixed my blanket so it would drape over Michael too, knowing his legs sticking out of his basketball shorts had to be cold. It was freezing on the boys bus, but none of them seemed to be bothered. I pulled my knees up to my chest as the movie was starting and started sipping on my beer. I felt more content without Sawyer's protective arm around me, he didn't seem to be bothered by my obvious feeling towards him, or Michael's apparent feelings towards me. I wasn't quite sure what my feelings were either. All that had happened was I gave him a blow job amongst some trees, we had hugged a few times, and he was obviously trying to get close to me by making an effort to get to know me better. He had complimented me, and flirted with me, so maybe he was starting to like me? Maybe I was starting to like him? I knew I was over thinking things when the second movie ended and my beer was warm, and I couldn't tell you one thing that happened during the movie. Ashton got up to start a third movie at the same time the bus came to a halt, probably to gas up. Sawyer and Seth announced they were going back to our bus to sleep for the night, but Ryan, Jackson and I wanted to stay. We rearranged on the couch, I was glad to be able to scoot closer to Michael without having anyone say anything.
My phone buzzed on the kitchen counter and Jackson tossed it to me before going to the back to play video games with Calum and Seth. Luke was laid out on the floor, his head propped against the wall of the bus. Ashton was at the end of the couch and Michael and I were seated a few feet away from him. Michael was interested in my buzzing phone as it reminded me that I had received a text, I unlocked the screen.
You're not coming on the bus?
no, I wanted to watch another movie and I'm not tired.
I feel like you're mad at me? Rose, don't let this fuck up what we've got going for us. Don't be mad at me for being a drunken asshole to you.
I'm not mad at you, Sawyer. Even if I was, I DO have a perfectly good reason to be mad at you.
"Quit letting him get to you." Michael whispered in my ear. I looked up at him and he had been reading my conversation. My phone buzzed in my lap again.
You're acting different. Do you like Michael? you can get in so much trouble for that. not to mention how he's going to fuck with you.
Since when did you decide to become a big, protective brother to me? You've never, ever been like this.
I'm just worried because you've known this guy for how long and you're already throwing away your own fucking band for him.
how is staying on the bus of the other band we're touring with throwing away my own band? Ryan and Jackson are all on this bus too! you're fighting with me over something so fucking stupid and you're assuming things you know nothing about. all it is is I've made a new friend, who happens to be in the band that we're touring with. Deal with it.
Sawyer read my text message and didn't respond, he had probably (hopefully) fallen asleep. I took a deep breath and Michael wrapped an arm around me and I snuggled into his side. "Sorry I'm such a cuddly person." I apologized quietly, "I feel the need to have human contact at all times."
"Its okay." Michael squeezed me closer to him and I brought my feet up beside me and tucked them under Ashton's legs. He looked over at the two of us and rolled his eyes, laughing to himself. I had a feeling he knew something I didn't know, but I didn't know what.
--
MICHAEL'S P.O.V.
I felt the bus come to a screeching halt again and it woke me up from my slumber. Rosie's head was in my lap and her small feet were poking out of the end of the blanket, they were on top of Ashton's lap. His hands were resting on her ankles, his thumb cradling the arch of her foot. He had fallen asleep against his own hand that was propped up on the arm rest of the couch. The menu to the movie we were watching was replaying quietly on the tv, and I noticed Luke was missing from the floor.
I watched as Rosie's perfect lips were curling up in the corners as she slept, they were still stained a slight pink from her lipstick she wore for tonight's show. Her hair was going every which way possible and I brushed it out of her face, knowing it had to be tickling her. I couldn't sleep sitting up like this, my neck was killing me. I put my hand over Rosie's ear so she wouldn't hear me.
"Ash. Ash." I whispered, trying to wake him up.
"Hm?" He spoke without moving.
"Help." He looked over at me and smiled, "You got it, you got it bad." He started singing Usher to me, which wasn't helping my situation at all. "Just put her in your bunk, she'll be fine."
"But there's only four bunks."
"Exactly." He said, picking her feet off of him, and walking back to his bunk. I saw that her other two bandmates had passed out on the couch and floor in the back. I thought about how I could just leave her here on the couch, she would be just as content as she would in my bunk. Five minutes passed as I just contemplated what to do. It was 6 AM, maybe she'd want to go back to her own bus. I poked her in the cheek and she stirred, but didn't wake up.
"Rosie. Psst."
"What?" I watched as she curled into a ball. She was growing on me more and more.
"Do you want to go to sleep?"
"I was asleep." She spoke in a hushed voice.
"No, like, I can't sleep sitting up anymore. The buses have come to a stop so I didn't know if you wanted to move to your bed."
"I'm fine right here." She said, not understanding my problem.
"But I need to be in a different sleeping vessel. Do you want to come to my bunk or do you want to stay here on the couch by yourself?"
"Why can't I have your bunk and you sleep on the couch?"
"Because my legs are longer than the couch. Yours clearly aren't." She was adorable, arguing with me like she was pretending to be asleep.
"Michael Clifford, the choice is yours." She yawned and nuzzled into my lap even more. I figured she wouldn't mind being put into the bunk with me, I knew she was cold, so I stood up and picked her up. She smiled at me and wrapped her arms around my neck as I carried her. I rolled her into my bunk and climbed in after her. I let her have most of my pillow. I waited for her to roll on her side and get comfortable, and I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling of my bunk. "You can cuddle me, you know." I heard her tired voice mumble to me.
I rolled onto my side and pulled her body close to me, rubbing my hands down her sides then up her front of her belly. She felt so soft and warm, and I felt my eyes growing tired as I nuzzled my nose into her clean, wavy hair.
"WAKE UP!" I heard Luke stomping through the bus. I woke up to a cold bed and a headache from sleeping weird. Rosie was missing, I assumed she had gone back to her bus.
"What time is it?"
"1." Calum answered me from the kitchen table. "We're leaving to get lunch soon, but the venue said we can use their showers."
I ran a hand through my greasy hair, realizing maybe there was a reason why Calum had hinted about the showers to me. I grabbed a towel from one of the cabinets and walked towards the venue. I heard some yelling already and smiled to myself at how dedicated fans were already lining up for the show an entire day early.
The venue was pretty quiet as I wandered around hunting for showers. Eventually I found them, located directly across from the women's showers. I heard some humming coming from behind the swing door, so I stood and listened. The humming turned into singing, and I recognized that the voice was Rosie. She was singing along to one of our songs and I smiled to myself at how cute she sounded.
"I don't wanna stay, I wanna run away but I'm trapped under your spell. and it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest, and I'm having trouble catching my breath." She hummed the rest of the song, then I heard the water shut off. A few minutes later I heard her we feet padding around the bathroom, then it was another few minutes before I heard her walking to the door. I stood with my arms crossed, propped up against the wall.
"You know, you sing that better than we do." I said when she came barreling out of the door, not seeing me.
"Fuck, you scared me! Were you listening to me?" Her cheeks became rosy and I started to realize that maybe Rosie was just a nickname.
"Of course. I was on my way to the shower myself, and I was stopped in my bath by your voice. Are you going to lunch with everyone else?"
"Y-yeah. I am." She started kicking her toes at the cement floor. "I'll see you there?" She shot me a smile and I returned it before I walked into the shower room.
--
ROSIE'S P.O.V.
I sat at the table at lunch, bobbing my leg up and down while I sipped a mixed drink. We had reserved an outside patio at a low-key restaurant. All of the boys had on sunglasses, as if that would keep them from being recognized by fans. We had received our bills already and we were just waiting to make the next move. I wanted to go shopping, but obviously no one else wanted to.
"I mean, I should be fine going by myself." I sat my fourth drink down on the table, feeling perfectly afternoon drunk.
"We can send security with you." Luke spoke up from the head of the table.
"I really don't think I'm at that level yet. And besides UK fans are way more chill over here. I'll be fine by myself."
"You've never even been over here. What happens if you get lost?" I wasn't quite sure why I was getting 20 questions.
"GPS, idiots." I shook my phone at them, but then realized my battery was almost dead. "I can just catch a cab back. Why are you so worried about me?"
"I'll go with you." Michael spoke up from three seats away. "I need some new shirts anyway, since someone ripped a hole in one of mine." No one seemed to argue with that, and it seemed to satisfy them that I wouldn't be going alone. We split up and went our separate ways, half of the boys were grouping together to go see a movie, the other half wanting to just go walk around some then head back to the buses.
"You didn't have to come with me, you know. And if we're trying to not be obvious, it's not working."
"I don't really care about being that obvious anymore. Ashton and Luke both saw you sneaking out of my bunk this morning. But they're not going to say anything."
"They're not saying anything yet. But they will!" I said, throwing my hands up in the air as we continued walking until I found a store that looked like it would have cute stuff in it.
"I'm going to hang out out here." Michael said as I walked into the store by myself. I browsed a couple of the racks, noticing everything was entirely out of my price range. As I politely thanked the owners of the shop, I was stopped on my way out by a girl who couldn't be more than 15 years old.
"Hey! Are you the girl from The Sundaes?"
"Yeah, I am actually. The names Rosie." I held my hand out to her and she politely took it.
"I'm seeing you tomorrow night! My older sister is bringing me along because she wants to see 5SOS."
"Oh, okay! Well I'm excited you'll be there to see us!"
"Yeah, she's excited too. She's outside talking to Michael now. Are you guys hanging out?"
"We kind of are, everyone on tour just got done eating lunch together and today's our day off so we wanted to come hang out around town. I was on my way out so we can go back and talk with your sister, yeah?" I said, trying to get out of the store.
"Are you two dating?" I shooked my head and denied her question. "You should, you'd be cute together."
"Well, I'll tell him that." I opened the door and saw Michael talking to the girl's older sister. I caught the tail end of their conversation, he was telling her to not say anything about where he was so other fans wouldn't find us. I said a quick hi to the blonde girl and I couldn't help but notice she looked familiar to me. "What was her name?"
"Couldn't tell you." Michael shoved his hands in his pockets as we kept on walking.
"What, you didn't ask her?"
"Nah." Was all he said.
"What happened to you?" I asked him, Michael's moodiness was throwing me way off.
"It's nothing."
"Michael. If we're going to be friends, or whatever, I need you to talk to me."
"She was the girl from the bar the other night, she actually lives here but was in town for the other show too. She travels a lot. And she wants to hang out tonight. I couldn't tell her no. I didn't want to give her my phone number so she just gave me hers instead. I don't want to be mean to you but-"
"Then don't go, it's just that simple. You will never see her again if you don't want to."
"I just didn't want you to be mad at me." Michael said as we stopped and waited for our chance to walk across the street.
"I'm not mad at you, I have no reason to be." I pulled my ringing phone out of my pocket once I saw it was my sister calling. "It's my sister so I should probably answer. Hello?"
"Hey, rockstar!"
I smiled at the familiar voice. "Hey! I miss you." We continued to talk for a few minutes, she was just checking up on me and I cut the phone call short so I wouldn't bore Michael.
"You didn't have to hang up, she's your family."
"I'll call her later on tonight, it's fine. She texts me all of the time anyway. Want to go in here?" I stopped in front of an H&M, a store I recognized and knew was more in my price range for shirts I knew were going to get sweaty anyway. We split off into the women's and men's sections for a good half hour, I found some shirts and pants and Michael came back with a handful of t-shirts, most of them being black or grey.
My phone rang again as we were walking out of the store. "Hello?" I answered, annoyed at our manager Ben who was calling.
"We need to have a chat whenever you get back from your date with Michael, and I suggest you hurry because word is getting out really quick."
"What? We're just shopping." I looked up at Michael who was giving me a questioning look. "I'll be back when I get done."
"No, you're coming back now. I've already sent a cab to H&M."
"How'd you-" I asked, but the cab pulled up at the corner before I could finish my question. "Apparently someone thinks we're on a date and word is getting out quickly."
"Oops." Michael said before he burst out into laughter. "I might have told them we were on a date hoping to fend her off."
"Oops?! Michael, I'm in trouble! With Ben! I can't get in trouble."
"Why? You are clearly-" He hesitated "-not a good girl." I rolled my eyes at the smug boy who's hand ended up resting on my thigh on the way back to the venue. I placed my hand on top of his and squeezed it. "I knew you weren't from that first meeting we had." He mumbled in my ear and I felt my body relaxing immediately. "The way you were rolling your eyes and chewing on that pen of yours." I scooted lower in the seat, trying to get away from him so the cab driver wouldn't notice us. "He doesn't know who we are." Michael's hand crept higher and higher on my thigh and he gave it a good squeeze. "I know you're a bad girl. Sneak out with me tonight and we'll go see a movie, alright? We can end our date the right way. I'll meet you behind my bus at 10." He winked.
I sat in silence the rest of the ride, absentmindedly rubbing my thumb against Michael's rough hand. We got out of the cab at the venue and waved bye as I came face to face with Ben.
"Hey, come here." He patted a spot on the couch as he moved to his side. I sat down and he wrapped an arm around my waist. "Sorry I was a fucking loser tonight."
"Don't worry about it, bud."
"No, you shouldn't be treated like that."
"You're right, and that's why I left."
"Where'd you guys go? We looked around at a few bars and couldn't find you two. Ashton tried calling him a few times and he wouldn't pick his phone up."
"We went and talked in the park." I pushed some hairs out of Sawyer's face, "Neither of us needed anymore to drink. Just go to sleep, we've got a long day of traveling ahead of us tomorrow." I leaned down to kiss his forehead and he closed his eyes again.
"Night, Rose."
"Goodnight." I said and walked out of the small back room, not wanting to get myself ready for bed. After I washed my face, I changed into a big t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. I checked my phone to see the time, 4:23. I let out a groan and tucked myself into bed.
--
"You lot look like you're the walking dead." A crew member muttered as we passed by them. I think 3 of us shot them the bird as we made our way to the dressing room. I had already changed into wardrobe for tonight . I wanted to spend as little time doing anything today, unless it involved nursing my hangover. The move to a new city had made all of us feel even worse. Sawyer split off from us to go hang out with 5SOS, leaving me, Seth, Ryan and Jackson in a room to ourselves.
I sat long ways across one of the lounge chairs that were put in our room and closed my eyes, hoping the pizza we requested would be delivered soon. I felt a nap coming on, so I gladly welcomed it.
"Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY." I felt someone pulling on my bun.
"What?" I swattted the hand away and curled closer into the chair.
"Michael ate all of the pizza."
"What?!" I jumped out of the chair to come face to face with Calum. "Say that again? Why are you waking me up without bringing me pizza that Michael is replacing? I guess you guys want a hungover, puking band opening up for you because that's what you're going to get."
"Take it up with him! I'm just the messenger." He shrugged and left me alone in the room. I let out a frustrated groan and stomped off behind him, following him to their dressing room. I walked into the room and was about to start yelling until I spotted several boxes of pizza piled high.
"You're all assholes, you know that?" I grabbed a paper plate and two pieces of cheese pizza.
"Your stomach's going to huuuuuuurt." Jackson reminded me.
"I don't really care right now." I stood as I ate my pizza, the boys were all taking up the seats in the room. I wasn't bothered, but Ashton finished his pizza and offered me his spot on the seat beside Michael. I shook my head, "No, it's fine. Sit back down."
"I don't bite." Michael looked back at me and I rolled my eyes and plopped down beside him. "Just cheese?"
"Yeah." I said with my mouth full. When I looked up to take a bite of my pizza, Sawyer was staring at me. I inwardly groaned, too hungover and tired to deal with his diva attitude today.
"How's your hangover?" Michael asked me, trying to make small talk on the loveseat.
"How do you think?" I rudely shot back. "I stand by my statement of you guys trying to kill me last night."
"I think you tried killing me." He winked at me, and nudged me with his knee... And then I remembered. Fuck, I remembered last night. I felt the vomit rising in my throat. I tossed my plate of pizza on the ground and ran out of the room, searching frantically for the bathroom. I kneeled, making an offering to the porcelain gods, cursing myself for being so fucking stupid. How could I have done that last night? I heard the squeaky door open and close. "It says the ladies bathroom for a reason." I muttered before heaving up some more pizza and rum.
"Just thought you might need some help." I felt a cool rag on the back of my neck. "Need anything?"
"No, it's fine."
"I didn't know I'd repulse you so badly."
"Michael, I'm hungover. You aren't why I'm throwing-" My body convulsed once more as a few tears escaped my eyes. I always cried when I threw up. "Up." I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes, trying not to mess my makeup up. Michael tossed me another damp towel and I wiped my mouth free of all the puke that had landed on my lips. I sat back against the bathroom wall and closed my eyes. I took a few deep breaths to regain my composure.
"You look really pretty." Michael mumbled, and I opened my eyes too see him sitting on the bathroom sink counter, kicking his feet. He resembled a giant child who was playing with his hands in his lap. His bottom lip had a constant pout to it, and all I wanted to do was bite it. I realized I was still staring at Michael and hadn't said anything back to him.
"Th-" Another wave of nausea hit me as I tried speaking, and I crawled back to the toilet. I felt him rubbing my back as I spit the last bit of vomit into the toilet. He flushed for me and handed me a clean towel to wipe my mouth with again. "Thanks. For that and the compliment."
"You think you're done?" I sat and thought about it, and didn't feel like there was anything left in me to throw up, so I nodded. Michael pulled me up by my arms and helped steady me.
"Thank you." I pulled him into a hug and felt him kiss the top of my head. "You know we can't let them find out? Sawyer would actually probably cut your dick off."
"Yeah, I know. I already thought about it." He chuckled. "But that's okay. I don't mind sneaking." He squeezed me a little tighter. I broke away as I heard the door open and looked to see one of our crew members had brought me my tooth brush. I thanked him for bringing it to me, I knew none of my bandmates could stand seeing puke, so they were probably too scared to come in the room.
"Well I'll go find you some Gatorade to chug before the show." Michael left me alone to brush my teeth and I took my time walking back to our dressing room.
Seth welcomed me back with a side hug, "You okay?"
I nodded and gave him a thumbs up, "Yeah. I'll be fine."
"You ready to go on?" Jackson asked me, and I glanced at the clock. Apparently my nap took up most of the afternoon and it was 15 minutes until showtime.
"Ready as I'll ever be tonight, I guess." I shrugged as we all walked to the stage. I knew I wasn't going to perform tonight as well as I wanted to, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I heard my name being called as all of my wires were getting strapped on and I turned around to see Michael sprinting-- yes, sprinting-- to me with a Gatorade in hand. I reluctantly caught it and drank it as quickly as I could before we were being pushed on stage.
"How'd you get him so whipped already?" Jackson asked me between songs and I playfully shoved him and looked to the side stage to see Michael and Luke watching our performance. I fought back a grin as I started talking between songs.
"You guys are amazing tonight, did you know that?" I let the crowd answer back in yells, "I'm sorry I'm a little bit under the weather tonight, a couple of assholes took us out last night to celebrate being a part of this wonderful tour. So thanks for coming early to listen to us and I see a few of you who are just now taking your seats. And to you guys... You should have been here earlier! This is our last song!" We finished our set and ran off the stage to be greeted with "good jobs", "congratulations" and towels to help wipe our sweat off.
I was feeling 100% better after getting our set over with, and even more relieved that tomorrow was a day off. We would be traveling on the bus all night tonight, and into the first part of the morning but once we reached our destination we would be camped out for the rest of the day until the show the following night.
"Hey we're all watching movies tonight on their bus. You up for it?" Seth bounced over to my bunk, where I had already made myself comfortable for the night.
"Is everyone else going?" I pulled my curtain back completely to find him in pajamas as well.
"Yeah, buses are leaving in 10 so go ahead and gather your stuff and come on over."
I sighed and kicked my feet over the sides, hopped out and let out a yawn and a stretch. I grabbed a sports bra to put back on under my shirt, and pulled on a pair of black leggings instead of the really short shorts I always slept in. I slid my Birkenstocks on, grabbed my favorite blanket and made my way over to the 5SOS bus. Everyone had already picked their spot on either the couch or floor in front of the tv they had, leaving no room for me.
"Where am I supposed to sit?" I muttered and pouted, and Sawyer scooted over to make room for me between him and Ashton.
I glanced at Michael who was sitting at Ashton's feet and he gave me a questioning look, but I didn't have any time to hesitate as I took my spot. Sawyer wrapped an arm around me to make more room and I tried to relax, but I couldn't. I couldn't pay attention to the movie we were watching because he was petting my shoulder, and I felt inclined to lay my head down on his shoulder, thinking it would help me. Any other time I would have been fine with it, but after how he acted to me the night before, I wasn't interested in having anything to do with him but I didn't want to make it awkward and deny him completely. The closer he pulled me into him, the more I was pushing him away in my mind. I had never thought about Sawyer like this. I had never been so annoyed with him, and I couldn't understand quite why I felt like I did. I thought about how I would have rather have Michael's pale, tattooed arm wrapped around me, snuggling into his neck and brushing my nose against his jawline that hadn't been shaved in a few days. I thought about how good he smelled last night, or what I could remember.
I started to relax my body into Sawyer's side and I looked up at him, to see him smiling. We were always like this, always cuddling, hugging and joking. Where was my animosity towards him coming from? He had cock blocked me plenty of drunken nights before, but it had never made me as mad as I was now. My thoughts kept repeating in my head, until the end of the movie I was seething with anger. I repelled myself off the couch, jumped over the boys to grab something to drink from their refrigerator, and when I returned, Sawyer thanked me and grabbed my beer from me. I groaned as his smug self drank from the glass that was intended for me, "Fuck you." was all I could say. I think he thought I was kidding, until when he tried putting his arm around me again, I pushed him away. Ashton got up to change the movie out, and Michael stood up and walked to the refrigerator. When he came back, he stole Ashton's seat, and had two beer in his hands. He handed me one of them. I quietly thanked him, and Ashton silently took a seat on the floor at Michael's feet.
I fixed my blanket so it would drape over Michael too, knowing his legs sticking out of his basketball shorts had to be cold. It was freezing on the boys bus, but none of them seemed to be bothered. I pulled my knees up to my chest as the movie was starting and started sipping on my beer. I felt more content without Sawyer's protective arm around me, he didn't seem to be bothered by my obvious feeling towards him, or Michael's apparent feelings towards me. I wasn't quite sure what my feelings were either. All that had happened was I gave him a blow job amongst some trees, we had hugged a few times, and he was obviously trying to get close to me by making an effort to get to know me better. He had complimented me, and flirted with me, so maybe he was starting to like me? Maybe I was starting to like him? I knew I was over thinking things when the second movie ended and my beer was warm, and I couldn't tell you one thing that happened during the movie. Ashton got up to start a third movie at the same time the bus came to a halt, probably to gas up. Sawyer and Seth announced they were going back to our bus to sleep for the night, but Ryan, Jackson and I wanted to stay. We rearranged on the couch, I was glad to be able to scoot closer to Michael without having anyone say anything.
My phone buzzed on the kitchen counter and Jackson tossed it to me before going to the back to play video games with Calum and Seth. Luke was laid out on the floor, his head propped against the wall of the bus. Ashton was at the end of the couch and Michael and I were seated a few feet away from him. Michael was interested in my buzzing phone as it reminded me that I had received a text, I unlocked the screen.
You're not coming on the bus?
no, I wanted to watch another movie and I'm not tired.
I feel like you're mad at me? Rose, don't let this fuck up what we've got going for us. Don't be mad at me for being a drunken asshole to you.
I'm not mad at you, Sawyer. Even if I was, I DO have a perfectly good reason to be mad at you.
"Quit letting him get to you." Michael whispered in my ear. I looked up at him and he had been reading my conversation. My phone buzzed in my lap again.
You're acting different. Do you like Michael? you can get in so much trouble for that. not to mention how he's going to fuck with you.
Since when did you decide to become a big, protective brother to me? You've never, ever been like this.
I'm just worried because you've known this guy for how long and you're already throwing away your own fucking band for him.
how is staying on the bus of the other band we're touring with throwing away my own band? Ryan and Jackson are all on this bus too! you're fighting with me over something so fucking stupid and you're assuming things you know nothing about. all it is is I've made a new friend, who happens to be in the band that we're touring with. Deal with it.
Sawyer read my text message and didn't respond, he had probably (hopefully) fallen asleep. I took a deep breath and Michael wrapped an arm around me and I snuggled into his side. "Sorry I'm such a cuddly person." I apologized quietly, "I feel the need to have human contact at all times."
"Its okay." Michael squeezed me closer to him and I brought my feet up beside me and tucked them under Ashton's legs. He looked over at the two of us and rolled his eyes, laughing to himself. I had a feeling he knew something I didn't know, but I didn't know what.
--
MICHAEL'S P.O.V.
I felt the bus come to a screeching halt again and it woke me up from my slumber. Rosie's head was in my lap and her small feet were poking out of the end of the blanket, they were on top of Ashton's lap. His hands were resting on her ankles, his thumb cradling the arch of her foot. He had fallen asleep against his own hand that was propped up on the arm rest of the couch. The menu to the movie we were watching was replaying quietly on the tv, and I noticed Luke was missing from the floor.
I watched as Rosie's perfect lips were curling up in the corners as she slept, they were still stained a slight pink from her lipstick she wore for tonight's show. Her hair was going every which way possible and I brushed it out of her face, knowing it had to be tickling her. I couldn't sleep sitting up like this, my neck was killing me. I put my hand over Rosie's ear so she wouldn't hear me.
"Ash. Ash." I whispered, trying to wake him up.
"Hm?" He spoke without moving.
"Help." He looked over at me and smiled, "You got it, you got it bad." He started singing Usher to me, which wasn't helping my situation at all. "Just put her in your bunk, she'll be fine."
"But there's only four bunks."
"Exactly." He said, picking her feet off of him, and walking back to his bunk. I saw that her other two bandmates had passed out on the couch and floor in the back. I thought about how I could just leave her here on the couch, she would be just as content as she would in my bunk. Five minutes passed as I just contemplated what to do. It was 6 AM, maybe she'd want to go back to her own bus. I poked her in the cheek and she stirred, but didn't wake up.
"Rosie. Psst."
"What?" I watched as she curled into a ball. She was growing on me more and more.
"Do you want to go to sleep?"
"I was asleep." She spoke in a hushed voice.
"No, like, I can't sleep sitting up anymore. The buses have come to a stop so I didn't know if you wanted to move to your bed."
"I'm fine right here." She said, not understanding my problem.
"But I need to be in a different sleeping vessel. Do you want to come to my bunk or do you want to stay here on the couch by yourself?"
"Why can't I have your bunk and you sleep on the couch?"
"Because my legs are longer than the couch. Yours clearly aren't." She was adorable, arguing with me like she was pretending to be asleep.
"Michael Clifford, the choice is yours." She yawned and nuzzled into my lap even more. I figured she wouldn't mind being put into the bunk with me, I knew she was cold, so I stood up and picked her up. She smiled at me and wrapped her arms around my neck as I carried her. I rolled her into my bunk and climbed in after her. I let her have most of my pillow. I waited for her to roll on her side and get comfortable, and I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling of my bunk. "You can cuddle me, you know." I heard her tired voice mumble to me.
I rolled onto my side and pulled her body close to me, rubbing my hands down her sides then up her front of her belly. She felt so soft and warm, and I felt my eyes growing tired as I nuzzled my nose into her clean, wavy hair.
"WAKE UP!" I heard Luke stomping through the bus. I woke up to a cold bed and a headache from sleeping weird. Rosie was missing, I assumed she had gone back to her bus.
"What time is it?"
"1." Calum answered me from the kitchen table. "We're leaving to get lunch soon, but the venue said we can use their showers."
I ran a hand through my greasy hair, realizing maybe there was a reason why Calum had hinted about the showers to me. I grabbed a towel from one of the cabinets and walked towards the venue. I heard some yelling already and smiled to myself at how dedicated fans were already lining up for the show an entire day early.
The venue was pretty quiet as I wandered around hunting for showers. Eventually I found them, located directly across from the women's showers. I heard some humming coming from behind the swing door, so I stood and listened. The humming turned into singing, and I recognized that the voice was Rosie. She was singing along to one of our songs and I smiled to myself at how cute she sounded.
"I don't wanna stay, I wanna run away but I'm trapped under your spell. and it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest, and I'm having trouble catching my breath." She hummed the rest of the song, then I heard the water shut off. A few minutes later I heard her we feet padding around the bathroom, then it was another few minutes before I heard her walking to the door. I stood with my arms crossed, propped up against the wall.
"You know, you sing that better than we do." I said when she came barreling out of the door, not seeing me.
"Fuck, you scared me! Were you listening to me?" Her cheeks became rosy and I started to realize that maybe Rosie was just a nickname.
"Of course. I was on my way to the shower myself, and I was stopped in my bath by your voice. Are you going to lunch with everyone else?"
"Y-yeah. I am." She started kicking her toes at the cement floor. "I'll see you there?" She shot me a smile and I returned it before I walked into the shower room.
--
ROSIE'S P.O.V.
I sat at the table at lunch, bobbing my leg up and down while I sipped a mixed drink. We had reserved an outside patio at a low-key restaurant. All of the boys had on sunglasses, as if that would keep them from being recognized by fans. We had received our bills already and we were just waiting to make the next move. I wanted to go shopping, but obviously no one else wanted to.
"I mean, I should be fine going by myself." I sat my fourth drink down on the table, feeling perfectly afternoon drunk.
"We can send security with you." Luke spoke up from the head of the table.
"I really don't think I'm at that level yet. And besides UK fans are way more chill over here. I'll be fine by myself."
"You've never even been over here. What happens if you get lost?" I wasn't quite sure why I was getting 20 questions.
"GPS, idiots." I shook my phone at them, but then realized my battery was almost dead. "I can just catch a cab back. Why are you so worried about me?"
"I'll go with you." Michael spoke up from three seats away. "I need some new shirts anyway, since someone ripped a hole in one of mine." No one seemed to argue with that, and it seemed to satisfy them that I wouldn't be going alone. We split up and went our separate ways, half of the boys were grouping together to go see a movie, the other half wanting to just go walk around some then head back to the buses.
"You didn't have to come with me, you know. And if we're trying to not be obvious, it's not working."
"I don't really care about being that obvious anymore. Ashton and Luke both saw you sneaking out of my bunk this morning. But they're not going to say anything."
"They're not saying anything yet. But they will!" I said, throwing my hands up in the air as we continued walking until I found a store that looked like it would have cute stuff in it.
"I'm going to hang out out here." Michael said as I walked into the store by myself. I browsed a couple of the racks, noticing everything was entirely out of my price range. As I politely thanked the owners of the shop, I was stopped on my way out by a girl who couldn't be more than 15 years old.
"Hey! Are you the girl from The Sundaes?"
"Yeah, I am actually. The names Rosie." I held my hand out to her and she politely took it.
"I'm seeing you tomorrow night! My older sister is bringing me along because she wants to see 5SOS."
"Oh, okay! Well I'm excited you'll be there to see us!"
"Yeah, she's excited too. She's outside talking to Michael now. Are you guys hanging out?"
"We kind of are, everyone on tour just got done eating lunch together and today's our day off so we wanted to come hang out around town. I was on my way out so we can go back and talk with your sister, yeah?" I said, trying to get out of the store.
"Are you two dating?" I shooked my head and denied her question. "You should, you'd be cute together."
"Well, I'll tell him that." I opened the door and saw Michael talking to the girl's older sister. I caught the tail end of their conversation, he was telling her to not say anything about where he was so other fans wouldn't find us. I said a quick hi to the blonde girl and I couldn't help but notice she looked familiar to me. "What was her name?"
"Couldn't tell you." Michael shoved his hands in his pockets as we kept on walking.
"What, you didn't ask her?"
"Nah." Was all he said.
"What happened to you?" I asked him, Michael's moodiness was throwing me way off.
"It's nothing."
"Michael. If we're going to be friends, or whatever, I need you to talk to me."
"She was the girl from the bar the other night, she actually lives here but was in town for the other show too. She travels a lot. And she wants to hang out tonight. I couldn't tell her no. I didn't want to give her my phone number so she just gave me hers instead. I don't want to be mean to you but-"
"Then don't go, it's just that simple. You will never see her again if you don't want to."
"I just didn't want you to be mad at me." Michael said as we stopped and waited for our chance to walk across the street.
"I'm not mad at you, I have no reason to be." I pulled my ringing phone out of my pocket once I saw it was my sister calling. "It's my sister so I should probably answer. Hello?"
"Hey, rockstar!"
I smiled at the familiar voice. "Hey! I miss you." We continued to talk for a few minutes, she was just checking up on me and I cut the phone call short so I wouldn't bore Michael.
"You didn't have to hang up, she's your family."
"I'll call her later on tonight, it's fine. She texts me all of the time anyway. Want to go in here?" I stopped in front of an H&M, a store I recognized and knew was more in my price range for shirts I knew were going to get sweaty anyway. We split off into the women's and men's sections for a good half hour, I found some shirts and pants and Michael came back with a handful of t-shirts, most of them being black or grey.
My phone rang again as we were walking out of the store. "Hello?" I answered, annoyed at our manager Ben who was calling.
"We need to have a chat whenever you get back from your date with Michael, and I suggest you hurry because word is getting out really quick."
"What? We're just shopping." I looked up at Michael who was giving me a questioning look. "I'll be back when I get done."
"No, you're coming back now. I've already sent a cab to H&M."
"How'd you-" I asked, but the cab pulled up at the corner before I could finish my question. "Apparently someone thinks we're on a date and word is getting out quickly."
"Oops." Michael said before he burst out into laughter. "I might have told them we were on a date hoping to fend her off."
"Oops?! Michael, I'm in trouble! With Ben! I can't get in trouble."
"Why? You are clearly-" He hesitated "-not a good girl." I rolled my eyes at the smug boy who's hand ended up resting on my thigh on the way back to the venue. I placed my hand on top of his and squeezed it. "I knew you weren't from that first meeting we had." He mumbled in my ear and I felt my body relaxing immediately. "The way you were rolling your eyes and chewing on that pen of yours." I scooted lower in the seat, trying to get away from him so the cab driver wouldn't notice us. "He doesn't know who we are." Michael's hand crept higher and higher on my thigh and he gave it a good squeeze. "I know you're a bad girl. Sneak out with me tonight and we'll go see a movie, alright? We can end our date the right way. I'll meet you behind my bus at 10." He winked.
I sat in silence the rest of the ride, absentmindedly rubbing my thumb against Michael's rough hand. We got out of the cab at the venue and waved bye as I came face to face with Ben.