You're Not a Hero, You're a Liar

Rian was a liar. He had always been but Grieco didn’t know. He didn’t, until now. But now that he knew, he wish he didn’t. He didn’t know how to feel about it. If you asked him, he would swear that he never meant to find out. Rian didn’t mean for him to find out either but it happened. Rian had left his cellphone in his room and that was his mistake. Coming back from the bathroom, Grieco heard the older boy’s cellphone ring, signaling a new text. He walked in the room, unsuspicious, finding the device and deciding to bring it to his boyfriend but his eyes seemed to stay fixed on what was written on the screen once he had caught a glimpse of it. The words made his heart drop in his chest.

‘Hey handsome, what are you doing?’ The text was coming from Cassadee.

This couldn’t be true. Rian couldn’t be cheating on him, he never would. Or maybe he was. Alex had to know so he unlocked the phone, going right to Cassadee’s text and scrolled up to see the conversation between her and his boyfriend. He didn’t need any more proof, Rian was definitely cheating on him with Cassadee. There were so many messages saying stuff like ‘Grieco’s not here. Wanna come over?’ or ‘I’ll be there in 10, I’ll just tell Alex that I’m going to see some friends or something.’ He didn’t know how he couldn’t have seen this happening. From what he could see, this had been going on for 3 months and him and Rian had been dating for 3 months and a half. It made Grieco sick so he turned off Rian’s phone, leaving it where he had found it and went back downstairs. He didn’t tell Rian that he knew, he didn’t say a word about it but obviously, the older boy realized that something was wrong, the look on his face said everything.

“What’s wrong Alex?” He asked.

Grieco thought about not saying anything but he couldn’t forget about it so he decided to confront Rian. “How long has this been going on?” He said, his voice completely emotionless.

“How long has what been going on?” The older boy asked completely confused.

“Don’t play dumb Rian. You and Cassadee. I know you’ve been cheating on me.” Alex said, still emotionless.

“Fuck, Alex. I’m sorry.” The older boy said, looking down at the floor.

“How long Rian?” Alex asked, slowly losing his composure. Deep inside, he had hoped that Rian would, at least, try to deny it.

“It first happened about a week after we got together. We were both drunk and it was a mistake but it kept happening after. I’m sorry.” He mumbled, embarrassed.

“Why? Am I not good enough for you?” The blonde asked, clearly hurt.

“I’m stupid Alex! I didn’t want to hurt you, I swear. When you told me you loved me, I panicked. I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that I didn’t feel the same and I wanted to be loved for once.” Rian explained.

“What do you mean?” Alex asked. He knew what Rian meant but he needed to hear it.

“I do love you Alex but not in the same way that you love me. I’m not even into guys but you were the only person who could make me feel loved and yeah… I’m stupid and I’m sorry.” Rian said, eyes still locked on the floor. “I know that I’m an asshole but can you forgive me? I just wanted people to stop using me for my body. I wanted someone to love me for who I am.”

“So you used me instead? You made me believe that you loved me even though you’re not into guys, cheated on me the whole time, you’ve been lying to me for over three months. You’ve been basically been using me this whole time because you wanted people to stop using you and you want me to forgive you and go back to the way it was before?” The younger boy said angrily.

“I just didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Did you even think before doing it? Yes, I would’ve been hurt but I could’ve understood. Did you really think that this wouldn’t hurt me? Did you think that it was an alright thing to do?” The blonde asked obviously still angry but tears filling his eyes.

“I panicked Alex! I didn’t know what to do!” Rian said.

“Yeah, you panicked for three months!” The younger scoffed. “All those times you said you said you were going to see some friends, you were actually going to see her, right. You lied to me about literally everything.”

“It was not every time…” Rian trailed off.

“Rian, I would just like to know the truth for once.” Grieco almost pleaded.

“Most of the time it was true. It would happen a couple of times a week. I never actually loved you as I should have and I don’t deserve to be loved by someone like you.” The older tried to make Alex realize how much he regretted everything.

“So all those times you said you loved me, it wasn’t true?”

“It was true, I just didn’t mean it the same way you did. I do love you but more like a best friend.” Rian explained. “I’m sorry for everything. Can you please forgive me for being so stupid?”

“You’re not just stupid Rian, you’re an asshole. I don’t care what you have to say, I would’ve done anything for you, I loved you with all my heart but you used me, you lied to me and you cheated on me the whole time.” Alex said, tears now freely streaming down his face. “I don’t think I can ever forgive you for this.”

“But, I made you happy for those three months right?” The older asked, a last hope in trying to get some form of forgiveness from the smaller boy.

“Yes, but nothing compares to the pain I feel right now.”

“Okay, I’ll just go then. I’ll come pick up my stuff later.” Rian said, getting up, defeated.

“Good, don’t try to make me forgive you again, I won’t.” He said, wiping away his tears.

“Alright, just remember that I’m sorry.” The older boy said, finally walking out of the door, to Grieco’s relief.