How the Hell Did We End Up Like This

It'd been a whole two weeks since Kellin found out about Grant. He had been surprisingly supportive. Helping realize that what I did isn't as bad as I made it out to be for myself. Choosing to not be his mom physically meant that deep down I knew someone else could do a far better job than I could at that age. It made me see him in a whole new light. As an amazing man.

He was slowly, but surely becoming one of the few people in my life I didn't want to lose. He was just... Perfect. He wasn't judgmental, he wasn't over bearing. He was sweet. Loving. Passionate. He was just.. Kellin. That's what I liked. He was so simple, yet so complicated at the same time.

"Megs, you have a delivery at the door." Rylee said peeking her head into the door. I got up stretching and yawning before going to the door. There was a taller guy standing dare with a vase of flower and chocolates being held by a teddy bear.

"Ms. Jamison?" the man asked handing me a clipboard to sign.

"Yes sir, thank you so much." I said taking the gifts out of his hands.

"Megan,
Meet me at our studio today? I have some tracks I just need a second opinion outside of the band to hear and tell me if theyre good enough. Pizzas on me afterwards. Xoxo Kell."

"He bought me all of this just to ask me to go with him to the studio today. We're not even dating and he's spoiling me Ry."

"Yeah well, I told you going out would be something you wouldn't regret. Are you going to go?"

"I mean... It's the least I could do really. He bought me flowers and a bear and chocolates. I can't exactly tell him know."

"There you go. Now you're getting the hang of things. It's about damn time."

I grabbed my phone from my pocket dialing Kellin' number.

"Kellin's phone Gabe speaking how can I help your fine ass self." he said laughing. "No but really. Kellin is getting dressed what's up Megan."

"Oh nothing. Can I talk to Kell when he's done? It's important."

"Oh yeah sure. I mean, he's half naked but maybe he can multitask."

"SHUT UP GABE. GOD DAMNIT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. DON'T TELL PEOPLE WHEN I'M HALF NAKED. WHAT THE FUCK MAN." Kellin screamed in the back ground.

"Oh man, he's gonna kill me. Here ya go."

"Hello?"

"Hey Kellin, it's Megan."

"Oh! Hi! What's up."

"Nothing, just got a really awesome delivery."

"So, what was in this delivery?" I could almost hear him smirking in the phone.

"Oh, just some clothes I ordered. They're pretty cute."

"Oh... Well, that is pretty awesome, I must admit."

"And I have a really hot date today."

"Oh, I uh... I hope he's a good guy."

"He is. He's super cute wit dark hair and blue eyes and he's in this band and I'm going to the studio with him then out for some delicious pizza."

"So you're coming!?"

"Yes, I'm coming. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"I'll be over in ten minutes! Please don't stand me up. I'll be so upset."

"I'll be waiting." I could feel my heart flutter. I had on a pair of jeans that were probably a bit to tight and a shirt that was a little to high cut showing off the bottom of my waist. I really wasn't dressed to do anything or go anywhere.

"Soooo, are you excited?!" Rylee asked grabbing water out of the refridgerator.

"I dunno. I guess so. He gives me that high school crush feeling. Like... It's insane, I've honestly never wanted to care about someone as badly as I want to care about him. It's like.. He's the break in life I've been waiting so long for. I just... I really feel like he's perfect Ry. I really really do."

"Awwww. look at you. You're blushing!! You don't blush!"

"Oh god. Don't tell me that! Don't make it worse before he sees me!" I said feeling the panic rise in my chest shoving my face in the freezer hoping the cold air would cool my flushing cheeks.

"He won't think it's weird. Trust me. I talked to Justin last night and Kellin said that when they leave in a few months, if the label makes them leave that is, he really doesn't know what he's going to do. He's thinking about convincing the label to somehow let them stay a little longer."

"Oh god.." I muttered hearing the soft knock on the door.

"Kellin!" I said opening the door. His arms immediately wrapping around my waist. "Hi."

"Hello gorgeous. How are you? Did you like the chocolates? And the bear? And the flowers? I got daisys because you said they're your favorite."

"You're such a good listener I must give you that credit. And they're beautiful. It means a lot. You have no idea."

"Well, let's get going, the labels waiting to hear the final track list before we re record specifically for the album."

"Okay! I can't wait."

I got in Kellins car, he started the ignition Every Avenue blasting through the speakers. I could feel myself grinning. He remembered.. He actually remembered. His thumbs tapping on the steering wheel as he drove. My favorite song played in slowly I sang along staring out the window.

"Maybe it's all for the best, but I just don't see any good in this, no. Maybe we'll find something better. But the lovers that leave us will always hold a place... Maybe it was wrong of me to think I could keep you."

"You have a beautiful voice. Maybe you could actually record with us sometime"

"I don't know about all of that."

"Oh come on, a voice like that? It's pure heaven."

"I think I'll just stick with one passion for now. Photography. I'm good at that, and not a lot of people really see me."

I stared straight ahead at the brick building. You'd think a recording studio would stand out more, but it literally blended in more than it probably should. To be honest, this would be my last resort for an outdoor photo shoot. It was dull. Lifeless. It needed to let itself shine, but the city here didn't give a rats ass about how their buildings looked.

"You ready? The guys are so excited to see you again."

"Oh, well. I guess I'm excited to see them too." I grabbed my bag from the backseat walking closely behind Kellin. There was a part of me that wanted to reach out and grab is hand. I knew better. Control the urge. Don't let the feelings ever show or work. I wasn't meant to be with anyone, or be happy with anyone for that matter.

"Guys, sorry we're a few minutes late. What tracks are left to decide on. I know we had like five or six left." Kellin said running over to the guys

"Captain Tyin' knots, You kill me and limits." Justin said looking up from the track list, smiling at me. "Good to see you again Megan."

"You too." I leaned against the door frame watching the guys freaking out and arguing over who thought what about the tracks left.

"This is fucking stupid. I'm telling you. If you kill me isn't on the record than the record will fucking die. Right here, right now." Kellin said slamming his fists on the table. We had two fucking hours to tell them the tracks and if we don't think of them soon, we'll lose the contract. Don't you get that?"

"Kellin..." I whispered looking up at him. "Stop it. Just stop it. This isn't necessary. All this fighting, you're a family. You make decisions together. Just... Play them. Once you hear all three you'll know the two you're meant to have on the album. I'm going outside." I turned around feeling my face flush.

Kellin didn't come off at all from the beginning as someone with an anger problem. Seeing him back there though, it was obvious, no one should have to deal with that alone. I was scared, not for any of us but for him. I've known too many people who needed help and never got it and now they aren't here anymore. I wasn't about to lose someone else to it.

"Megan! Wait, Please!" Kellin screamed behind me shoving the double doors open. "I'm so sorry... In there... That's just... I have a temper. I'm really good about it most of the time, but I just... I'm really passionate about this band and the music we put and it has to be perfect... I just.. I have a lot mentally that isn't completely there and hasn't been for years and this album is what's helping me fill that void. I just... I really like you, and I'm scared that in there, that scene. I just shoved the one small piece of hope and happiness I have away.."