Roles With No Direction

Brad sat across from me. His hair was a mess, greasy and uncombed. His head was in his book. We always studied together before midterms and finals; I would actively participate, he would actively listen.
“Why are you being so quiet?” he asked looking up from his book with an arched eyebrow.
“I’m not being quiet,” I said as I reached for my coffee cup and took a sip. If I told him the real reason I was being quiet, studying would be over. He put his book down on the table, ran his fingers through his hair, and stared me down with his warm brown eyes. As he put his elbows on the table, his gaze didn’t break.
“Tell me.”
I wanted to tell him. Who wants to keep a secret from their best friend? We told each other everything. Tonight, I don’t have it in me to hold him back from a fight or get involved. He clenched his jaw for a second, a trademark of the Spencer family. All of the men had the same jawline: defined and muscular. Everyone knows the jaw too. Maybe not his but they do know that jawline anywhere.
“It’s nothing. Let’s focus on Gender Studies,” I said as I opened the textbook to a marked page. He reached over and took the book, closing it.
“What did he do?” He was serious now.
I shouldn’t have been surprised that he knew it had to do with Hank, my college boyfriend. Hank liked to party and have a good time. He sometimes got into the wrong things like flirting with girls or smoking. Hank loves me, I know that. Tonight was just different.
“Don’t freak out,” I told him and he leaned back in his chair. “Promise you won’t freak out.”
He nodded his head and chewed on the insides of his mouth. He was going to freak out but I couldn’t not tell him now.
“Someone sent me a picture of Hank making out with some girl at a party he was having at his house. I got it right before I came here. It’s nothing. He was just drunk. I probably should’ve gone to that party anyway.”
Before I could say anything he got up and was walking toward the door. I tried to put myself in front of him to stop him but even being tall for a female and having weight on my body, he pushed me out of the way. He walked outside of the library, his pace was getting too quick to handle.
“Brad!” I yelled but he didn’t budge. “Stop it! You promised!”
I had to jog to keep pace with him at this point though I was already too late. He knew his way to the frat house Hank belonged to, you could hear the bass from the speakers from two blocks away. Before I knew it, Brad was pushing past people with red cups and searching around like a mad man. Then I lost him.
“Excuse me,” I said a million times as I pushed through people. Then I heard it. Some girl screamed, some people even cheered. I ran to the living room cluttered with people and saw Brad punching Hank in the face. Hank tried to hold his own but he threw sloppy punches and could barely stand up.
“If you ever get within ten feet of Olivia, I will make sure I hit you so much harder.” He yelled as people whistled but some of Hank’s drunken Frat brother tried to escort Brad out. Hank looked up from the ground, hair disheveled, blood on his lip, eyes found me. I could’ve cried right there and helped him. He looked helpless. But I knew I had to walk away.
I found my way out of the house to find Brad pacing on a nearby sidewalk.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“You could get in trouble for that, Brad,” I told him.
He ran his hands through his hair, his breathing became deeper, “I’m not sorry, Olivia. You can’t say that that’s love. That he loves you. When I walked in he had a girl on his fucking lap.” He started to yell. “Do you know what it’s like watching your best friend get hurt by the same person over and over and over?”
I wanted to run back to my dorm but I realized I left my bag at the library. I started walking that way before I felt Brad grab my hand. He pulled me into him and kissed me. It was sweet, it felt right as he put his hand on my very obvious hip bones and the other on my cheek.
“Olivia,” he whispered as he rested his forehead against mine. I was stupefied.
Here he was and it all made sense now. We have been friends since college started and three years later he is showing me his feelings.
“Brad, I need to go,” I told him as I walked away and he didn’t follow me.