Status: Complete!
April Agony
The Aftermath
“I moved back to my parents after that. No house, nothing, no one. It was just easier financially and physically.
“Emotionally, it was torture. All I had, all I owned, the one I loved the most. Taken from me in such a short time.
“That's when the dreams, and the nightmares, started.
“In my dreams, she was alive, we were home. Being asleep was wonderful, and waking up always hurt.
“My nightmares... I couldn't wait to awaken from. My nightmares were here too... Me watching her die. Seeing the flames consume her. Hearing her yell for me to save her. But I couldn't move, couldn't speak, I could only watch, and suffer.
“She filled my conscious life. I would see reminders of her on my phone, when I'd see a briefcase, when I'd hear violins... I couldn't get away from thoughts of her.
“I was so in love, I couldn't get over her. And I was suffering at night. So I wouldn't sleep. Small thoughts of her while awake hurt less than the guilt I felt after sleeping.
“The guilt would stay after I'd wake up. I felt guilty. If I had been home. She'd be alive.
“But, at the time. It felt so important to go. And that's part of why it hurts so much.
“When I left, I was going to buy something. I actually got permission to temporarily open her casket before her funeral to give it to her.
“After all, I'd bought the engagement ring for her to have...”
“Emotionally, it was torture. All I had, all I owned, the one I loved the most. Taken from me in such a short time.
“That's when the dreams, and the nightmares, started.
“In my dreams, she was alive, we were home. Being asleep was wonderful, and waking up always hurt.
“My nightmares... I couldn't wait to awaken from. My nightmares were here too... Me watching her die. Seeing the flames consume her. Hearing her yell for me to save her. But I couldn't move, couldn't speak, I could only watch, and suffer.
“She filled my conscious life. I would see reminders of her on my phone, when I'd see a briefcase, when I'd hear violins... I couldn't get away from thoughts of her.
“I was so in love, I couldn't get over her. And I was suffering at night. So I wouldn't sleep. Small thoughts of her while awake hurt less than the guilt I felt after sleeping.
“The guilt would stay after I'd wake up. I felt guilty. If I had been home. She'd be alive.
“But, at the time. It felt so important to go. And that's part of why it hurts so much.
“When I left, I was going to buy something. I actually got permission to temporarily open her casket before her funeral to give it to her.
“After all, I'd bought the engagement ring for her to have...”
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So, writing this killed me. But I'm so proud of it.Please, if you have any comments or critiques, please do share them with me. I always want to know what people like or don't like from my stories.
Please and Thank you! And a very large thank you to all of you who read this.