Knocked Up

“When does Kimmy land?” Claude asked him as they sat in the captain’s living room watching the previous night’s game footage.

“Kim’s coming back to Philly?” Lianna’s voice called from the kitchen, were she was cooking them all dinner.

“Yeah she’s flying in from London for the Columbus game, she’s landing Tuesday morning.” He answered both of their questions.

“I am stealing her from you whilst you’re at practice then.” Lianna told him branding a spatula at him from the door way to the kitchen. “You’ve kept her captive enough her last two visits.”

“I give her to you for the games.”

“Pssh, I am stealing her we are going shopping one afternoon at least.”

“Yeah enjoy telling her that!” Claude laughed and Jake ended up laughing at him as a dish cloth hit Claude smack in the face.

“Just because you’ve known her longer and when she’s with you she’s one of the guys doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy a spot of shopping!” Lianna snapped before returning to the kitchen.

“She hates shopping.” He and Claude stated at the same time.

“Did you get her graduation picture?” Claude asked him and Jake nodded thinking of the two pictures he’d received yesterday, the first one was the generic cap, gown and certificate picture – she looked great in her suit, her tie perfectly matching the shoes. The second was one he wasn’t sure many would have got it was a snap chat though of her with her class mates in a club she was wearing a skin tight dress that flaunted her curves. He’d freaked out in part at the picture but she’d told him her drink was virgin and then she’d said she wished he was there. He had barely been able to keep the smile of his face since receiving that text.

“Yeah, she looked really good.” Understatement but it wasn’t about to tell Claude she’d given him a boner with her second picture and made his chest swell with pride at the first.

“I couldn’t believe the one of her with her Dad…” Jake was confused what picture of her and her Dad he’d only received one. Claude must have seen his confused look, “The ones she posted on Facebook.”

“I am not Facebook friends with her.” And with that Claude was gone running up stairs before returning moments later with his laptop. Flopping down next in the spot next to him Claude handed him the laptop it was already open to Facebook Claude’s feed full of posts from his friends back home in Ottawa. Letting Claude take the laptop back he watched as Claude search Kimmy Krantz clicking on the first result and going straight to her page. Her profile picture was the one she had sent him in her cap and gown and her cover picture was the GB Female Canoe Polo team on the podium at her last competition with them in June at the Worlds they’d won silver. He waited whilst Claude went to her pictures before opening the album graduation.

“Frape me and I’ll tell the team about the bathroom incident.” He faked a look of shock at Claude before taking the laptop and starting to flick through her pictures. Before finding the one Claude had mentioned of Kim and an older guy that must have been her Dad. He knew from what Kim had told him, her Dad had left when she was a baby and she’d not heard from him until she was eighteen and went looking for him. She’d wanted answers it was her quest for answers that had led her to telling him she was pregnant she didn’t want her child to go through the same things as she did the questions she’d asked her whole life about worthiness , it was something he admired her for. But Kim had found her father and she’d got her answers she’d not told him what they were but she had told him she’d had an estranged relationship with him ever since.

The picture though, the old guy was looking down at her like she was his whole world pride etched the old guys face and Kim looked right next to him. But nothing beat the next picture of Kim and her mom, hugging in the archway her mum was in tears and Kimmy was hugging her. He sat their flicking through pictures of Kim with her family and friends at her graduation and the meal that followed but there was none of her night. He reached the end of the album and neither Claude nor Lianna had called him through for dinner so he just went back to her albums and started flicking through summer 2014.

She had so many picture of her and kids from the camp it was obvious to see how much she loved those kids and how much they loved her. He laughed at the pictures of the kids attacking Claude and smiled at the ones of him teaching the kids. “Oi loser dinners ready!” Claude called from the living room.

“You should bring Kim to family skate on Tuesday evening.” Lianna told him as she plated him a chicken breast with fresh greens.

“Yeah Kim would love that.” Claude told him.

“Yeah I will ask her.” He smiled wondering what Kimmy would be like on the ice she was English they had no idea what ice skating was other than a Christmas thing to do in the parks. He really hoped she couldn’t skate it was the perfect excuse to hold her. “I spoke to the girls in PR today, Berube set up the meeting… they want me to start making it look like Kimmy and I have been dating a while before they announce that she is pregnant.”

For the most part his meeting with the head coach had gone alright he was disappointed but that was to be expected after all he’d made a stupid mistake he’d gotten a holiday fling pregnant but whilst it wasn’t effecting his play Berube couldn’t say anything. So instead the head coach had just set up meetings with various departments up first had been PR.

“How do they want you to do that?”

“Twitter things like that, they suggested I tweet her graduation picture with some hashtags that make me look like the long suffering but proud boyfriend.”

“Make it look like her been in University is the reason she was never spotted at games in Philly?”

“Yeah.”

“What does Kimmy think?”

“I haven’t spoken to her about it yet… I was wondering if you thought she’d go for it.”

“A fake relationship with you?”

“Basically.”

“I don’t know how she will react – she’s always had the hots for you all I used to hear was can you bring Voracek, will Voracek be in Canada, is Voracek visiting you. But I don’t if she’ll go for a fake relationship man, hell she doesn’t really do actual relationships.” Claude shrugged at him and Jake knew it was going to be a task and something he’d have to talk to her tonight before it got to far passed her graduations to make him look like a caring boyfriend.

“If you can get her to agree to it, it’s a good plan makes it look like just an unplanned pregnancy rather than an unplanned pregnancy between two people who just so happened to have sex whilst on holiday in Ottawa.” Jake knew Kimmy would have flung some sarcastic response back at Lianna, most likely ‘thank you, Lianna’.

“Speak of the devil!” Jake sighed reaching into his pocket pulling out his phone that was vibrating Kimmy was ringing him.

“Gimme Gimme Gimme.” Claude stated making grabby hands across the table to, “Mon Amie!” He answered the phone before rushing off in French.

“I hate it when they do that, its like they are hiding something.” Lianna sighed, starting to clearing the table hearing the jumble of French coming from the living room where Claude had walked off with his phone Jake started to help Lianna clean up.

“You don’t speak French?” He asked, for some reason he’d always assumed that Lianna spoke fluent French that it was her first language like Claude.

“Just high school level but nowhere near fluent enough to keep up with those two.”

“But G’s English used to be awful.”

“He got better pretty quick I know enough French to keep him happy but I can never eavesdrop on his conversations. I guess it must be like that for you and Kimmy?”

“Kim speaks better Czech than me.”

“Of course she does.” Jake wasn’t sure he liked her tone, Lianna was supposed to be Kimmy’s friend but right now he was starting the think that Lianna kept Kimmy close for other reasons. “I am sorry that must have sounded bad I just meant Kim she talks about her time in the Czech Republic all the time at camp she loves it there so she must speak Czech.”

“Oi Vorackek – your bean’s mom wants to talk to you and she wants to come on skate on Tuesday.” Claude told him waving his phone in front of him.

“Hi.”

“So I told my mum and the guys about bean.”

“and…”

“My mum is upset she’s worried about my plans for the future and my work but glad we are trying to make this work and Jamie is in shock and Chase wants to kill you.” Jake remembered her mentioning Chase his first name was actually Liam but because they met him after another Liam to avoid confusion they’d just started calling him Chase and four years later he just introduced himself to people as Chase, he though was the biggest in the muscular sense of the word of the group and the most protective of her.

“You’ll have to send me a picture of him so I can decide whether I can take him or I should run.”

“I’ve seen you fight you could take him.” He laughed at her comment, and wondered which of his fights she’d seen. He tried to stay out of fights but sometimes they were unavoidable they were part of hockey.

“Claude says you’re going to skate on Tuesday.”

“Well fall and hope your there to catch me.”

“Sounds like a plan. How have you been feeling?”

“Achey, crampy everything kind of hurts I don’t feel as sick though which is really good.” It was really good he’d been worried about her morning sickness and had been worried she wouldn’t get to enjoy her graduation because of it.

“I am glad your feeling better.”

“Why are you at Claude’s anyway?”

“Lianna wanted to cook for us, and I needed his advice.”

“Sounds concerning.”

“I had a meeting with the PR team today, they want us to make it look like we’ve been together a while. Suggested that I tweet your graduation picture and make it seem like university is why you where never in Philly, till now.”

“Okay, tag me in it too that will help.”

“Seriously your okay with this?”

“Yep, go for it tweet away.”

They spoke for a few more minutes and as soon as she hung up he was sat with Claude and Lianna the picture ready to upload just waiting for its captions. “how about ‘my beautiful girl hashtag super proud boyfriend hashtag brains and beauty hashtag how did I get so lucky?’” Jake asked typing it out as he spoke before letting them both look at it.

“I think she was right tag her in it.” Claude stated and Jake just looked at him he had no idea what her twitter user name was “At Kimmy Jimmel seventy four.”

“Okay so we have ‘My beautiful clever girlfriend at Kimmy Jimmel seventy four hashtag super proud boyfriend hash tag brains and beauty hash tag how did I get so luck’ good?”

“Sounds good.”

“And tweet.” Jake stated pressing the button putting out there for the world to see making his fake relationship with the mother of his unborn baby a reality.