A Sense of Wonder

There had been speculation that the campaign would fall apart after the attempt on her life. That was what all the political commentators kept going on about. They said she was finished, that there could be no coming back, especially with so little time left. Had there been a few more months, she could’ve taken a week off to recover and then gone back on the trail, but as it was, there were only five days until California cast its vote. That wasn’t even enough time for her stitches to dissolve, let alone for her shoulder or cheek to heal. That was why everyone ruled her out. They figured she’d want to focus on coping with the attack and managing the pain. The world had agreed that those would be her priorities, but they weren’t.

As tempting as it was to suspend the campaign, she couldn’t. She had sacrificed far too much to let things fall apart so near the end. The campaign was her life’s work, it was what everything had been leading up towards and so long as there was breath in her body, she would fight on. That was why she took the Tylenol instead of the pain killers the doctor prescribed. That was why she emerged from the hospital with her head held high despite the fact that it was an excruciatingly painful position to keep her head in, but the pain didn’t matter, what mattered was that the moment the press saw her, they knew she would see things through.

The intensity in her gaze made that obvious, and that terrified Thomas Henderson. He had been advised that by suspending his campaign for a day and publically denouncing the attack, he would gain supporters, that Californians would perceive him as being compassionate and that they would be inclined to join his cause. That was what his advisors had told him, that was what usually happened when people were attacked, but his gaining votes depended on Paulina suspending her campaign. They were planning on her being out of the race so they could sweep in and take her votes, but she refused to sit idly be. She was going to get every last vote she could and when Thomas saw the determination in her eyes, when he heard her say that there was no keeping a Balcázar down, he knew the fight was far from over.

And while Thomas and his team scrambled to make sense of things, Paulina rested in her family home. It had been a joyful homecoming, her relatives had gathered together to shower her with love and affection, and even Thea had gone over to the house. Luis knew his sister would be delighted to see her puppy. She was always asking how the little Boston terrier was doing, and since she was going to be at their parents’ house for a makeshift party, he figured it’d be a good idea to take Thea with him. And it was. Paulina had missed her puppy terrible, she’d missed cuddling with her, and practicing her speeches and reviewing papers while Thea napped on her lap. She missed the energy and unconditional love that her puppy provided. That was why Paulina decided to take Thea on the road with her. She didn’t care if she had to assign an intern to look after her, she just needed her puppy with her because as long as she had Thea and Francis, Paulina would be able to get through the final days of the campaign.

They were essential to her wellbeing – Thea was her surrogate child, Francis her boyfriend. And although she and Francis had only technically been together for about a day, they had years of friendship behind them and she was only too happy to reintroduce him to her family as her boyfriend. That was why the pair gladly received the congratulations that her family bestowed on them for finally embarking on a relationship. Everyone had known all along that something was bound to happen between the pair, and just like his mother, they all teased them for having taken so long.

“What have we gotten ourselves into?” Francis joked as they stood in the kitchen. “Now we’re stuck with two massive families.”

“It was definitely a poor move on our part.” Paulina went along with it. “When you have a big family, you’re supposed to go after someone that’s an only child and who has parents who don’t really get along with their extended relations.”

“That way you’re family can be the primary focus.”

“Exactly!” she agreed. “But being the geniuses we are, we fucked up on that.”

“Can you imagine all the birthdays we’ll have to go to?”

“You’re lucky I like you so much.” She teased him. “Otherwise I wouldn’t put up with this crap.”

“Neither would I.” He told her. “It’s too much of a hassle dealing with big families.”

“It’s be alright though,” she said. “I’m looking forward to panicking over party packed weekends with you, but before we get to that, there’s one thing we have to do.”

“Which is?”

“Go public.”

“Ah. That.”

“Any thoughts on how you want to do it?”

“Let’s just walk out holding hands and when we reach the bus, I’ll stand off to the side and you can give me a kiss before you go in.”

“I can’t really do much kissing right now.”

“Just a little one.”

“Don’t want to give you a little one though.” Her cheek took on a rosier appearance. “If I kiss you, I’m going to want to do it right.”

“Is that so?”

“It is.” She nodded as she reached for his hand. “We wasted too much time, mi cabronsito. I was too stubborn.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He told her as he gave her a reassuring squeeze. “You were worth the wait.”

He lifted his free hand to her face and gently cupped the uninjured cheek. After so many years of waiting it was strange to finally be able to touch her like that. Before, he would find excuses to touch her face – he’d say that she had something on her lip or that her hair was in her face. They were never good excuses, but she accepted them just to keep things from being awkward, but they didn’t have to do that anymore. He was free to caress her face and she was free to enjoy it, which was why a happy little smile settled on her lips as he did so.

In the past, a smile would’ve been enough to satisfy Francis but now that he was her boyfriend, it wasn’t enough. That was why he slowly lowered his lips to hers, he wanted to feel them move against his, he wanted to kiss her with the same intensity that their Super Bowl kiss had held, but just as his lips were about to take hers, he remembered that the left side of her face was injured and by no means able to embark on such a passionate kiss, that was why he kissed the corner of her mouth instead. It was an innocent enough kiss, his lips barely brushed the corners of hers, but it was enough to get her heart rate up.

When he pulled away, he saw her eyes were closed and her lips puckered. He smirked, relishing in the effect he had on her. He contemplated going back in for a second kiss – a proper kiss in which their lips would actually meet, but ultimately decided against it. That was enough for now, and so he lowered his hand from her face.

“Let’s go outside.” He said, nonchalantly.

“You’re a fucking tease, Francisco.” Her grip on his hand tightened when he tried to walk away. “Don’t you know it’s impolite to leave a woman like this?”

“You just said you can’t fucking kiss right now.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Then why the fuck you complaining?”

“Because you’re a dick!” she had to actively fight back a smile. “Why would you fucking kiss me if I told you not to?”

“Because I’m a wicked re-re (idiot).” He smirked. “And now I think we should go back outside before your dad sends someone looking for us.”

“When I’m all healed up, Imma show your ass how this feels.”

“Lies.”

“Not even!” she said. “Just you wait.”

“We both know you can’t resist the Kennedy charm.”

“I was able to resist for six years, wasn’t I?” It was her turn to smirk. “So I think I’ll be okay when the time comes.”

“That’s cold!”

“That’s what your ass gets for being so cocky.” She chuckled. “Now come on, let’s get the sodas and go outside, because I just saw my dad call over Isabela.”

Their time at the Balcázar home ended shortly thereafter. Paulina had to get back on the road. Her final campaign tour was set to kick off in San Diego on the following morning, so she and her team had to travel down there to prep. She had crammed in a minimum of five appearances per day from Thursday to Monday night, and in between those appearances interviews had been scheduled. It was excessive. Even before the accident, Anne and Michael had advised her against doing so many, but now even if she wanted to, she couldn’t cancel. She had to show up to the events or else she’d be criticized as being unfit to lead.

So despite being intimated by the days ahead, she was determined to go through with them because as long as she had Francis and Thea, she’d be okay. Their presence would be a comfort to her, a source of strength to call upon when hers failed her. And since Francis wanted to be around her as much as she wanted to be around him, he decided to leave his car at her parents’ house. That way he wouldn’t have to bother with driving it around. He could focus on being with her, because he wasn’t resuming his previous duties with the campaign. This time around he wasn’t even going to bother with trying to act like he was actually there to work. He was just going to look after her, because he knew that when she stressed out she neglected herself. It was odd for him to be in the supporting role, he had been groomed since childhood to take over for his father, he had even intended to run for election that year, but when she told him that she was running, he just felt like he had to support her. And now he was going to go a step further. He was going to be for Paulina, what his mother had been for his father. He was determined to emulate his mother during what was left of the campaign and he was confident it would be enough to see Paulina through.

The goodbyes between Paulina and her parents were emotional. They didn’t want to let her go. It might’ve only been for a couple days, but they didn’t want her to leave. What if something happened? What if another crazy person tried to harm her? The thought was enough to send their hearts racing and they wanted desperately to keep her at home where no one could hurt her, but in their hearts they knew their little girl had to hit the campaign trail. She was fighting to make her dreams come true, and they had to respect and support her in her endeavors. That was why despite their fears, they gave her their blessing and made her promise to keep safe. Then, when she stepped aside to take leave of her brothers and their families, they made Francis promise that he would look after her. It was a promise that he gladly made. It was a promise that comforted the Balcázars.

When all was said and done, Francis and Paulina and Theodora stood in the doorway. Francis was carrying Thea since Paulina’s left arm was out of commission and he refused to let her strain her right shoulder by carrying the Boston terrier.

“So how are we doing this?” he asked her.

“Like this . . .”

She smiled softly as she held out her hand to him. He stared at it a moment, taking in the fact that after they walked out, the world would know. He was tempted to tell her they should hold off a little longer, that way their relationship could be just theirs, that way they wouldn’t have to deal with everything trying to prey into their business, but in the end, he took her hand because he was tired of not being able to love her with everything he had. Sure, he could’ve carried on behind closed doors, but Francis was affectionate. He wasn’t the kind of man that was embarrassed by his emotions or made uncomfortable by them, he felt what he felt, and he wanted to love her fully. After waiting nearly six years, he deserved that. As such, he linked his fingers with hers and smiled reassuringly. Paulina had been nervous about stepping out with him, a little afraid of what the world would say about her being with Francis. Would they think she was with him because she wanted a Kennedy as a trophy boyfriend? Would they say she was using him to advance her political ambitions? All those thoughts had been pestering her in the moments leading up to their departure, but the moment he took her hand, all those thoughts and hesitations vanished.

The only thing she could think of was him – the way he made her feel love and supported, the way he made her feel like a teenager again. He was her pillar of strength and with him at her side she gladly stepped out into the open where the reporters stood waiting.

The reporters didn’t immediately notice the handholding. Francis and Paulina normally walked side by side, so there wasn’t anything odd about that. That was why for the first few minutes, the reporters alternated between wishing her well on her recovery and asking what the future held for the campaign. It wasn’t until they were halfway to the bus when one of the reporters finally noticed the linked hands.

“Miss Balcázar!” she cried out. “Why are you holding hands with Mr. Kennedy?”

That was it.

That was the moment when everyone noticed they were holding hands.

“Are you romantically involved?” asked the same photographer.

“What do you think?” replied Paulina.

“So he is?” another asked. “He’s your boyfriend?”

“I sure am.” Francis proudly stated. “She got herself a pretty one, didn’t she?”

Francis laid on the famous Kennedy charm and the reporters ate it up. They kept their microphones close to the young couple, eager to capture every single word so it could be taken back to their newsrooms. It was out of character for them to ask about romantic relationships, they were serious journalists that left that sort of thing to the tabloids, but the thing was that Francis and Paulina weren’t just random people hooking up, it wasn’t even just rich people or celebrities hooking up – it was a future United Stated Senator embarking on a relationship with a member of one of the most powerful political families in the United States, and that had to be discussed. That was why they begged them to pose for a picture, but despite their insistence, Paulina didn’t indulge them.

She instead bid them farewell and told them she’d see them on the campaign trail. That was met by protests. They kept trying to get her to answer questions, but she paid them no mind. She was done for the day, and she had never been more relieved to be so. The minimal smiling she’d done had tired her out, the right side of her face hurt and the left throbbed painfully. At night, she would be able to take a Vicodin to actually get some relief, and she was looking forward to that little pill, but for now, she had thoughts of two more Tylenol to subdue the pain a bit. And when she climbed aboard the bus, she fully intended to powerwalk to the conference room where she would pop a couple pills and then get back in the thick of it. That was why she climbed into the bus as eagerly as she did, but when she reached the top step, she didn’t find a clear pathway to the back. She was instead greeted by a room filled with smiling faces and a welcome banner that hung from the ceiling. The staffers had put together a little party to celebrate her return, it was only the select few that regularly traveled with her, and there wasn’t much in the way of food, but they had hung a banner, gotten smoothies so that everyone would have what she was having and decorated the space with sunflowers.

She was taken aback by the effort that had gone into it. They had gotten her favorite flowers, they’d been considerate about the fact that she couldn’t eat and the banner was so beautifully decorated that her eyes lit up with excitement. It was all a beautiful touch, one that she greatly appreciated, and when she saw Jeffrey and Ember standing off to the side, she knew it had been their doing. Ember was not only a public relations genius, she was also an incredibly talented graphic designer and artist. She was the reason why such a beautiful banner had been made in such a short period of time. And as for Jeffrey, he had gone home for only an hour – just enough to celebrate with his parents and brother, and when he finished, he asked his older brother to take him to the local florist to stock up on sunflowers and to a juice bar to grab the drinks. He had forfeited precious time with his family to ensure his candidate would be warmly welcomed, and she would remember that. His effort would be well recompensed, just as Ember’s would. Paulina made it a point to take care of her people. She strived to provide a rewarding work environment in which her staffers felt valued, because from her time in Washington, she knew firsthand how crucial staffers were to the success of politicians. If they were happy, they worked hard and made their politician look like a genius. If they were poorly treated, they would leak damning information. That was why Paulina strove to be as good a boss as Warren and Allred and Stevenson had been for her.

That was why, despite the pain, she spent the first hour of traffic sitting in the common room. She drank her smoothie and answered their questions. They were considerate about what they asked, they touched on the attack because there was no getting around it, but they didn’t delve too deeply so as to not distress her. For the most part, they told her how happy they were to see her recovering and congratulated Francis and her on their relationship. Like the Balcázars and Kennedys, the staff had known all along that something was going on between them. It was in the looks they shared, the discreet smiles they shot one another during dull meetings, and the laughter that rang whenever they were together.

The relationship had been a long time coming, but regardless of its expectedness, it was enthusiastically received. It was an injection of happiness into the campaign, and after the attack, happiness and positivity were precisely what the campaign needed, because a resilient leader was good, but there was nothing quite like a love story to get people motivated.

It was damn sure the main reason why Paulina felt capable of tackling the last days of the campaign. The love she and Francis shared, made her feel invincible. It gave her the strength to get on with it, and the love helped ease the pain that stemmed from her injuries. That was why, an hour into the drive, she announced that she was going to get to work. Michael and Anne assured her that there was nothing she needed to do, they had covered everything for the following days, but she knew her phone had been flooded with voicemails since the attack and although she hadn’t heard a single one, she knew she had to. Those calls had to be returned, she had to assure people that she was okay and that there was no need to worry.

So she excused herself from the group and accompanied by Thea, retreated to the conference room where she set to work. Knowing Paulina so well, Jeffrey had already set the table. Her laptop and phone were set right in front of her chair. Off to the side, there was a pen and a sheet of paper so she could jot down the order that people had called her in and cross them off when she’d spoken to them. And, to make sure she was hydrated, there was a glass containing lemon wedges and a bottle of Pellegrino.

“Fucking Jeffrey . . .” she whispered, smiling inwardly.

She took her place in her chair and with Thea resting on her lap, picked up her phone. There were nearly four hundred text messages, her personal phone had been called over 271 times, and her voicemail had been filled. The first message was from Rodolfo. He had been livestreaming her rally from work, and had stepped away from his desk to grab a snack from the fridge shortly before she was attacked. By the time he returned, she had been ushered onto the bus and the brutal attack was being played on loop as reporters speculated why it had happened. He completely forgot about his sliced mango and picked up the phone. He hoped that she would answer, that she would tell him that it just looked worse than it actually was, but when the message went to voicemail he felt his stomach drop.

“What the fuck?” Rodolfo shouted, still in shock. “Did that shit really happen? That shit better not have fucking happened. I mean who the fuck does that? That fucking son of a bitch better pray they lock his ass up in jail because if not he’s gonna get what’s coming. And you – your ass better not die! You hear me? You can’t. The homies can’t lose you. I know we don’t see each other as much as we used to, but you know – right? You know.” He inhaled sharply. “We’ve always got your back, no matter what. So just do us a favor and be alright. Imma call your mom, see what’s going on and shit.”

The following message was from Emmett.

“Rudy just fucking called me,” he told her. “He fucking said that you’d just been . . . that some fucking lunatic had stabbed you, but that can’t be right. What the fuck would anyone want to stab you for? That shit doesn’t make any sense. So I called you to make sure that no one had, but you’re not fucking answering and I don’t think I can pass this off as Rudy just making shit up. I thought he was imagining things because you know he hasn’t been sleeping much ever since his wife had the baby, but I guess he didn’t make this up.” It was then that his voice broke. “This is some fucked up shit. But you’ll be good, right? You’ve always been so fucking stubborn. Be stubborn now. Okay? Make sure you live.”

The next message was from Stephanie.

“Avery just ran into the office crying,” she said. “I-I thought it was the hormone therapy getting to her, but then she started going on about you and I just – how the fuck did this happen? Who the hell is that guy? I mean why would he do that? Why attack you? You’re not . . . you’re not. You know? And we saw the clip. I-I didn’t believe her so she turned on the TV and I saw it.” She shut her eyes tight, trying to force away the image. “I just don’t understand why this is happening to you. It doesn’t make any sense, but I suppose these things never do.” She was quiet a moment. “I have to go. Ava’s in the room crying and I have to go make sure she’s okay. Just know that we love you. And please, please give us a call when you’re able to.”

She was only able to get through five calls before she burst into tears. She covered her mouth with her right hand so as to not alert the others that she was crying. She didn’t want Francis seeing her like that. If he did, he’d tell her that he’d call everyone and tell them that she was okay, but she didn’t want that. She owed them the courtesy of responding to them in person. So she muffled her cries until she calmed down, and then picked up the phone and heard the other twenty-five messages. It was a vicious little cycle, every certain amount of calls she’d break down, but then she’d pick herself right back up again. She made it through the calls from her friends and family, from Warren and Allred and all the others. She felt it was odd that Alfred and Olivia hadn’t called. She expected at least three or so messages from them, but when she finished listening to the voicemails and moved onto the missed calls, she saw that she had four from Alfred and eleven from Olivia. By the time they called, her voicemail had reached the maximum thirty that it could hold. That made her feel better. As did seeing that Callum and Lesedi and Graham and Terrence and all the others had called in their turn. She jotted down their names in the order that they had called and towards the end, she saw a call from someone she didn’t entirely expect to contact her.

It was Lord Fellowes.

The reasons why she was still in touch with him was because despite his connection with Harry, he had been the one that first opened doors for her. Without his taking her to that dinner in London, she might not have ever met Ted Kennedy or Allred or Warren. He was the reason why all those doors opened up for her and Paulina would forever be grateful for that, so she corresponded with him. She sent him holiday cards and called him on his birthday, as well as Lady Fellowes’. She kept in touch, but hadn’t seen them in person since she broke up with Harry, and that was fine. Lord Fellowes understood her reasons. Lady Fellowes not quite so much. She had genuinely formed an attachment to Paulina, and in her life, she rarely did so, but the phone calls were enough and when she and her husband heard that Paulina had been attacked, they called. When they heard they couldn’t leave a voicemail they debated calling once more, but calling more than once was vulgar to them, so they hung up and waited to hear back.

Paulina was tempted to call them back first, because when she saw his missed call, her mind immediately went to Harry. Was he worried about her? Had he been informed of the accident? Had he seen the video? If he had, what had been his reaction? It was strange to think about him so much, but in that moment, all she wanted was to know what he thought. She would never admit that aloud, obviously. Their story had ended. She had nothing to do with him anymore and she would swear before America and the rest of the world, but . . . but as much as she hated to admit it, there were times . . . though they were rare . . . when she thought about him and wondered what had happened if she had taken him back all those years ago in Harvard. It was ridiculous, to be sure. She had Francis. She was very much in love with Francis, but she had loved Harry deeply, she had loved him with every fiber in her being, and when a person loves someone that much, they never completely get over them, there’s always a bit of love that lingers even when life goes on.

That was why she ignored the carefully compiled list she created. That love demanded that she call the Fellowes immediately so as to not worry the man it still felt so strongly for, and without stopping to even think about what time it was in London, she picked up her phone and called them.

It was shortly after one o’clock in the morning when the phone rang in the Fellowes residence. Since Lord Fellowes had contacted Paulina from his personal mobile, his butler wasn’t responsible for answering. Instead he was the one that was disturbed from his slumber, and at first, he was quite mad about it. Who the devil would be ringing him at such an hour? Didn’t they know he needed his rest? He was a seventy-four year old man that had no business being awake at those hours, so he was quite determined to be curt to whoever it was that was calling him, but when he saw the name flashing on the screen, he let out a sigh of relief.

“Who is it?” grumbled Lady Fellowes from her place beside him.

“Miss Balcázar, I believe.”

“Do answer it then,” she told him. “And when you’ve finished, allow me to have a word.”

“This is Lord Fellowes, speaking.” He tried to sound as awake as possible, but sleep lingered in his voice. “With whom do I have the pleasure?”

“With Miss Balcázar,” she replied, her voice soft. “Although I fear that I’ve called at an unpardonable hour. Do forgive me.”

“Rest assured there is no need for apologies.” He assured her. “Tell me, how are you? I heard about that terrible business.”

“I thank you for inquiring as to my wellbeing. I am tolerably well. That is to say, as well as one can be under the present circumstances. There are aches and pains, but that is to be expected.”

“Indeed it is.”

“I’ve been informed that I’m likely to make a full recovery.”

“I am pleased to hear that, Miss Balcázar.” He was a great deal more than pleased. He saw her as his most successful international protégé, and between him and his wife, he had a great deal of affection for her, the way an uncle would for a dear niece. So hearing her say that she was going to be alright was a true comfort, but he hadn’t been raised to be a particularly affectionate man, which was why he spoke in the manner he did. “Shall you have a few days rest before you continue on?”

“I cannot afford to, Sir. The campaign only has a few days left so I must press on.”

“Quite right to.” He told her. “Politics waits for no one.” He waited a moment before adding. “Although that said, do mind yourself.”

“I will, Sir.” She knew that was his way of saying he cared. “Lord Fellowes?”

“Yes?”

“Might I be so bold as to ask a favor?”

“You may.”

“Will you . . . will you please inform Lady Fellowes and anyone else who might inquire, that I am quite alright.”

He knew precisely who the anyone else she was referring to was. In fact, he was tempted to play dumb and ask who else might worry about her, but he knew if he did his wife would certainly disapprove. So he refrained from doing so.

“I give you my world. Although I believe that in regards to Lady Fellowes, it would be best if you told her directly.”

“Is she awake?”

“Very much so and she’s quite keen to converse with you.”

“As am I, but before you put her on, give me leave to thank you.”

“Whatever for?” he asked.

“For calling,” she replied. “It means a great deal to me. It’s a comfort to know I’m remembered.”

“We always remember you.” His voice was softer than she’d ever heard it before, but the softness quickly vanished. “Now I am afraid Lady Fellowes is quite keen to speak to you.”

And just like that, he handed the phone to his wife, whom was infinitely warmer in her words. Despite the hour, Lady Fellowes was wide awake. The moment she overhead Paulina was alright, a rush of excitement coursed through her. She had been genuinely worried about the young woman’s wellbeing; a few tears had even been shed in private, because despite everything that had happened between her nephew and Paulina, Lady Fellowes still cared deeply for the young American.

As did Paulina.

Being fussed over by Lady Fellowes made her remember the days spent in the sitting room and the afternoon tea they took in the garden. Even before Paulina went public with Harry, Lady Fellowes had always been kind to her. She had been considerate and compassionate, an instructor of sorts that showed Paulina the ways of high society and the aristocracy. Without her, she would’ve never been able to take on the role of a Royal girlfriend, but Lady Fellowes had ensured that Paulina would be up to the challenge and despite everything that happened, Paulina would be forever grateful to her.

That was why she shed a few tears while she spoke with the older woman. Lady Fellowes wasn’t overwhelmingly warm with her words. She wasn’t the sort of woman that openly felt too deeply, but her choice of words and the softness with which she spoke carried the love across to Paulina. And for the first time in years, she longed to see Lady Fellowes again, to sit out in the garden with her and just be in her presence. That longing unsettled her. It made her wish for the conversation to end, but she couldn’t bring herself to end it. She had woken the Fellowes and would have to stay on the line until they deemed the conversation over.

“You will mind yourself, won’t you?” asked Lady Fellowes.

“I promise to do my best to.” Paulina replied.

“Very well then,” said Lady Fellowes. “I suppose I must leave you to your business now. You must undoubtedly have your fair share to see to. Only I have one last thing to say – do not under any circumstance give that vile creature the satisfaction of knowing that he has affected you. Keep a stiff upper lip. Carry yourself in the same manner you always have.”

“That I can assure you I will.”

“I am most pleased to hear that.” Lady Fellowes rubbed her tired eyes. “And I rest assured that we shall inform anyone who asks, that you are quite well. Is there anything else you would like us to say?”

“Well, if anyone were to ask could you tell him . . . them, not to worry. I’m out of danger. I even have bodyguards now.”

“Have you?”

“Yes,” replied Paulina. “There was no avoiding them, not after the incident.”

“Indeed not.” Lady Fellowes agreed. “You must be protected, and I shall sleep better knowing that you are.”

When the conversation with the Fellowes ended, Paulina took a few minutes to compose herself. It was strange how easily she could get back into the swing of things. It was almost effortless speaking in that refined manner. In the early days of her relationship with Harry, she had to make a conscious effort to speak and sound a certain way, but now, despite years of being out of practice, she was still skilled at it. And it made that bit of love that had urged her to call the Fellowes, wonder if she could pick up where they left off all those years ago? It brought its dreams and longings to the forefront, and they were indulged a moment, but then the rest of Paulina grew frightened by what it thought and forced those daydreams aside. She had made a life for herself – a damn good life, and there was no going back from it.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence with Thea, Paulina took a sip of her Pellegrino and then finished jotting down the name of everyone who’d called. When all the names had been taken, she began the task of personally calling them.

There was a mixture of laughter and tears in those conversations. Whenever she heard their voices start to break, she immediately sought to make them laugh, because she wasn’t particularly good at having people cry over her. It was bad enough to worry them, but having them cry made her feel guilty. She didn’t want them unnecessarily suffering because of her. So she did her best to assure them that she was alright, she told them that she’d make a full recovery, that the doctors had given her medicine, that she was getting plenty of rest and that the bastard who had hurt her was already behind bars. She told that to every single person she spoke to. It was the standard thing to say – well, that and saying that thing weren’t all bad; the attack had finally made a couple out of her and Francis.

She always left that for the end.

It left things on a good note, because things couldn’t be so dreadful if she was in love. At least, that was her reasoning and she spoke about things with Francis so sweetly, that those who heard couldn’t help but feel a little better. Sure, there were some that had reservations about her being with a Kennedy, but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that she sounded infinitely better than they dared imagine she would. And if Francis was the cause of that, then they wished them all the best and hoped everything would work out for them.

The entire calling process took nearly three hours. They managed to arrive at the hotel in San Diego before she finished, but instead of continuing the calls in her hotel room, she opted to finish up in the bus that way she could relax and just spend time with Francis and Thea inside. So determined to finish, she picked up the phone and placed the call she’d left for last.

The phone rang several times before it was answered. It made her think it’d go to voicemail and she was thinking up what to say to assure her dear friends that she was fine and that there was no reason to worry, but on the last ring, they answered.

“Paulin!” exclaimed Olivia. “Please tell me it’s you. I swear if it’s any of your interns or staffers, I will throw a bloody fit!”

“Then it’s a good thing it is me.” Paulina spoke. “What are you doing up though? Why do you sound so awake? It’s after four in the morning over there.”

“And yet you still called.” Olivia teased.

“Because if I didn’t, I knew you’d tell me off.”

“That does sound like me.” She smiled sheepishly. “But as for why I’m up, I just got home from work.”

“This late?” asked Paulina.

“I’ve gone back to the night shift. Well, a variation of it. Since I’m only working part time now, they’ve been able to accommodate a bit better. So long as it’s at night, to be sure. In the mornings it’s not so simple. But why am I going on about me? It’s you that matters! As soon as we heard, we called like mad but there was no getting through, couldn’t even leave a voicemail!”

“That’s because there’s only space for thirty of them. I saw that you called though.”

“Loads of times,” she said. “And when you wouldn’t answer, we switched over to Alfie’s.” Her eyes watered a bit as she remembered the calls. “I’m just so happy you’re alive. When we heard . . . I can’t even begin to say how it was. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t! Why someone would do that to you is unfathomable to me. I mean, you’re you. You know? But they did and I was just so scared we’d lose you, and . . .”

“You didn’t though.” Paulina reminded. “I’m still here and I’ve even hired bodyguards to make sure I stay here.”

“Well that’s a comfort.”

“So I’ve heard,” said Paulina. “Did you happen to see the video?”

“No,” replied Olivia, “Couldn’t bring myself to.”

“I’m glad.” Paulina truly was. She hated that so many of her loved ones had seen the attack. “It’s better that you never see it, Alfred as well.”

“He saw it.” Olivia informed her. “Didn’t make it through the whole thing though, he stormed out saying that that sort of thing shouldn’t happen in this day and age. But how are you? What have the doctors said? What are you to do?”

“I’m alright, a bit roughed up, but I’ll be fine. The doctors assured me I will. They said I’m expected to make a full recovery. Just have to let my body do its thing.”

“So there’s no long term damage?” Olivia couldn’t help but ask.

“Other than the scars, no,” she answered. “The doctors said I’m very lucky though. Apparently there’s this nerve that was close to being cut, but that fucking prick didn’t quite get it. So I can still smile on the left. Not now, of course. That whole thing has to heal, so it’ll be months before I’m able to, but just knowing that I can, it’s a relief. I mean who would I be if I couldn’t smile? I just, I’m glad that I can, even with the fucking scar on there.” As vain as it was, she was terrified of what she would look like once the skin healed. “Enough of that though, I was just calling to say that I’m okay and to tell you not to worry. I’m going to be well looked after on the campaign.”

“You’re still going through with it? Aren’t you going to take a few days off? You need your rest!”

“Olivia . . .”

“It’s the truth!” she declared. “You shouldn’t be out campaigning. You should be at your parents, being fussed over.”

“I agree with you, but the thing is, I have to make it to Tuesday. I can’t just suspend the campaign and expect people to vote for me. I have to be in the thick of it, because if I’m not, then the bastard who hurt me is going to win. You understand that. Don’t you?”

“Still.”

“Once Election Day passes, Francis and I are going to go up north for a week. So believe me, I’ll be resting and I’ll be well fussed over.”

“Francis, as in Francis Kennedy?”

“That’s the one.”

“Just you and him?” Olivia had yet to see the pictures of her friend holding hands with him.

“Yes. Just us. I mean, I do want to spend some quality time with my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend!” she cried out, excitedly. “I bloody well knew it! I told Alfie, I did. I said you two would be making a go at it one day and now you have and I’m terribly pleased for you, Paulin. Honest, I am! But how did this happen? How did you two? I mean, it’s been coming on for ages. You never let on, but I knew. When you brought him to the wedding and then when he came along for Ella’s birth and her christening, I knew something was up. Because what kind of bloke would fly out for that sort of thing if they weren’t truly keen? Sorry, I know I shouldn’t be rambling, but I’m just so pleased for you. Are you happy?”

“Yes.” Paulina answered honestly. “Happier than I’ve been in a long time. And I know I probably sound crazy for saying that, given the circumstances, but it’s the truth.”

“Love makes us all a bit mad. S’alright though. That’s how it should be.” Olivia smiled. “Let me go get Alfie for you.”

“If he’s sleeping, just tell him to call me later.”

“Don’t be daft!” said Olivia. “He’s keen to hear from you.”

And he was.

“Someone’s on the line for you,” Olivia told him as she held out the phone. “Go on, take it.”

“Who is it?” he whispered as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“Well if you answer it, you’ll know.”

“You’re up to something.” He said as he took the phone. “Hello, this is Alfred.”

“Hello there Alfred,” spoke Paulina.

“It’s you!” he exclaimed, the sleep suddenly vanishing from his eyes. “Bloody hell, it’s you!”

“I take it you’re please to hear from me.”

“Pleased is an understatement.” He assured. “We were so worried. When we heard what happened, we couldn’t believe it. Seemed like something from a nightmare, it did – especially since we woke up to it. I turned on the teli to watch the morning news and there you were . . .”

“I’m alright, Alfie.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” She could practically see the look of concern on his face. “I’m out of danger and the doctors said I’ll make a full recovery, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“There’s plenty to worry about.”

“Don’t trouble yourself with that though. I know I’m not.” She waited for him to comment, but he said nothing. “That’s why I hired bodyguards,” she added. “They’ll do all the worrying and I’ll just go about my day.”

“You’ve security now?” The relief was evident in his voice. “That’s fantastic!”

“So does that mean you’ll hold back on the worrying?” she asked him.

“As long as you’ve security, I suppose so.” He told her. “Although I’ll always worry a bit, can’t be helped though.”

“I suppose not.” She agreed. “You wouldn’t be Alfie if you didn’t worry.”

“Oi!” he exclaimed. “I don’t fuss about that much.”

“Really?”

“Enough of that then,” he said with a laugh. “You know, I was about to ask whether you’d be taking time off from the campaign, but I reckon that’s a silly question to ask. You’re far too stubborn for that.”

“Way too fucking stubborn.”

“Will you at least be scaling things back a bit?”

“Not really,” she answered honestly. “With so little time left, cutting back isn’t realistic. It’s fine though. I mean, there are only a few left so this’ll be over soon enough.”

“Will it really? Seems like you’ve been at it for ages.”

“Hell yeah it does! I swear I’ve aged at least five years since the start of the campaign, but hopefully it’ll have all been worth it.”

“It will.” Alfred confidently stated. “From what I’ve heard on our end, you’re doing brilliantly. And when people see you out in the thick of it, instead of at home resting, I’ve no doubt you’ll win by a landslide.”

“Even after all these years you still know exactly what to say.”

“I reckon I ought to. I am your best mate, after all.” He paused a moment before adding, “And just so you know, when this election business is finished, we fully expect a visit from Madam Senator. Mind you, doesn’t have to be immediately after the election. So long as you come round before summer, we’ll be pleased.”

“As long as I can bring my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” he repeated, the corners of his lips hitching upwards. “Do you mean to say you’ve gone and . . . that you and Francis, have finally made a go at it?”

“How is it that everyone knows its Francis?”

“Because who else could it be?” He chuckled. “From the first time I saw you lot together, I knew. I didn’t reckon it’d take this long, but at least you’ve gone and finally done it. I’m proper please for you. Honest, I am.”

“Thank Alfie.”

“Make sure to let him know he’s as welcomed in our home as you are.”

“I will,” she promised. “And we’ll definitely visit during the spring. I wouldn’t miss my goddaughter’s birthday for anything in the world.”

“Especially since we’ll be visiting Peppa Pig World,” added Alfred.

“She’s still obsessed?”

“Terribly so,” answered Alfred with a smile. “She’s taken to calling me daddy pig. Even has me do the snort and everything. It’s a bit awkward in public, but for her I’d do anything.”

“As is only right,” said Paulina. “Our dearest Ella must be indulged.”

“You say that now, but wait until she has you snorting about.”

“Seeing as how I regularly make a fool of myself whenever I’m with my nieces and nephews, I think I’ll be alright.” She reached for her mineral water and took a sip. “Well, now that we’ve discussed snorting and politics, I think it’s time to say goodnight. I know you have work in the morning, and I’m sorry for having called this late – I shouldn’t have done it, but I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to get back to you. I would’ve hated for you to hear secondhand how I’m doing. You and Olivia are way too important to me to get updated like that. So goodnight Alfie and thank you for being so lovely, same goes for Olivia.”

“There’s no need to thank us. We called for our sake as much as yours.”

“Still,” she insisted. “You’ve had my back for nearly a decade, you’ve been through hell with me and I just . . . I’m grateful is all.” She blinked away the tears. “I love you, Alfie.”

“Love you as well,” he told her. “And will you do me a favor?”

“Name it.”

“Be kind to yourself.”

“I will,” she promised. “Goodnight then, Alfie. Give my love to Olivia and Ella.”

She hung up after that, but didn’t immediately exit the conference room. All the talking she’d done suddenly took its toll. It had irritated the left side of her face whose muscles demanded to be left undisturbed. They wanted to heal, to remain motionless, but she had spent a great deal of time talking, she had overexerted herself and that pain, combined with the one emanating from her shoulder and arm, suddenly became unbearable. It demanded to be felt and suffered through. So she sat there with her eyes closed, trying to fight it off long enough to ready herself to leave. If she could be okay for ten minutes, then everything would be alright. She just had to get off the bus, walk through the main hotel lobby, and go into her room. She just needed to remain composed in front of the flashing cameras and random bystanders, because she refused to have pictures of her in pain taken. She refused to have any image of her appearing greatly distressed in circulation.

Perhaps she was mad for being so obsessed with that, but the world had already seen her with tears and blood streaming down her face. She wanted to change that image of suffering into one of strength. It was crucial that she do so. That was why she gritted her teeth and breathed deeply until she felt she had the pain under the control, and when she felt able to, she rose from the desk and stepped outside into the main area.

The majority of the staff had already left. They were checking into their rooms, preparing for the following day. Of her staff, only Jeffrey remained. That was because he was going to carry her belongings up to her room. He always did that after a long day. In the morning she was up to lugging about her own stuff, in the evening the task fell to him. So when the conference doorway was clear, he placed her belongings inside her briefcase and then jogged over to her. She was slowly making her way towards the front of the bus. Wilson led the procession. He went first to ensure nothing happened to Paulina. He was the first line of defense. Once he stepped out and glanced over the space, he motioned for her to come out. She stepped out slowly, accepting his outstretched hand and uttering a soft thank you. Francis followed her out. He carried Thea to make sure no one stepped on her. It was after Francis stepped out that Jeffrey and then Eric exited the bus.

With all of them outside, Francis and Paulina walked into the hotel hand in hand. On either side of them stood the bodyguards to make sure nothing happened. There were a few reporters standing in front of the hotel and they didn’t hesitate in asking questions, but Paulina clearly told them she wouldn’t be taking any that night. Tomorrow morning, she would answer a few questions before hitting the road, but for now, she had to rest. So she hurried along into the hotel lobby, eager to get to her suite and when she finally arrived there, she was greeted by the presence of the muscular Tomás. He had been standing guard at the door ever since he cleared the space for her arrival.

“Well hello there,” Paulina greeted him. “I haven’t met you yet. I’m Paulina. What’s your name?”

“Tomás, Ma’am.” He greeted her with a slight bow of the head.

“Pleased to meet you,” she extended her good hand, which he shook. “Are you going to be with me for the rest of the campaign?”

“I will.”

“Then I’ll see you in the morning.” She did her best to smile. “Make sure to rest though. We don’t need you overexerting yourself. Goodnight Tomás.”

“Goodnight Ma’am.” Tomás said in return. “You can’t go in yet,” he told her when he saw her reach for the door. “A security sweep must be conducted beforehand.”

“A security sweep?” she repeated. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of those done.” Six years to precise. “Well if it must be done, it must be done. Please hurry though. I’m eager to take my Vicodin. This Tylenol I’m on hasn’t been much help.”

Wilson was the one charged with performing the security sweep. He thoroughly checked the living room area, along with the bedrooms and bathrooms that comprised the suite. Once he felt satisfied with the accommodations, he opened the main door and informed Paulina that she could enter. It was then that Jeffrey handed her the briefcase and bid her goodnight. He would be staying two floors down in one of the standard rooms.

Paulina had already been briefed on the hotel arrangements. The bodyguards would stay in the suite to ensure her safety at all times – two would sleep in the second bedroom, the third would remain in the living room. The third bodyguard wouldn’t be obligated to stay awake all night, but he would sleep there in order to be first responder in case someone attempted to break into the suite. To be honest, Paulina thought the arrangement was exaggerated. Not even Harry’s security details slept in the same suite as him. They stayed across the hall where they could keep an eye on his door and from where they could easily be called upon. That had always been the arrangement and that was what she expected from her bodyguards, but apparently she was to be better taken care of than a prince and knowing that there was no point arguing, she simply bid the guards goodnight before following Francis and Thea into the larger bedroom.

The moment the door closed, Francis set Thea down. The little Boston Terrier ran off to explore the room while Francis turned to check on Paulina. He knew she was tired. She might’ve put on an act in front of the others, but he knew that the day had gotten to her. She’d spent the entire day in pain, the Tylenol she took hardly made a difference, and although the day had been designated as one of rest, she’d been busy. In the morning, she gave her official statement to the local police. She then received visitors throughout her entire stay at the hospital, and when she went home, her family (although well meaning) kept her from actually relaxing. When she left her parents house, she thought she’d finally have a chance to be by herself and breathe, but there had been a welcome party awaiting her and after that, she was on the phone for three hours.

It had been an exhausting day for her, the sort of day that made her doubt whether or not she’d be able to get through the rest of campaign. Because if she felt so tired after a day off the campaign trail, how would she manage with the tightly packed agenda that the next few days held? There would be multiple rallies held in a single day, fundraising dinners to attend, interviews to give, and so many hands to shake. It was all so fucking overwhelming and thinking about it was enough to set her on edge, but thankfully she didn’t have to go through it alone.
Francis was there.

That was why when the door closed she immediately turned to him. The only thing she wanted from life at that moment was to be held by him, which was why she walked right up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He wasn’t taken aback by the action. His arms immediately embraced her. He buried his face in her hair as she pressed the right side of her face into his chest and inhaled his scent. Simply being held by him filled her heart with happiness and gave her a sense of satisfaction unlike any she had ever felt.

“Thank you,” she found herself saying after several minutes.

“What for?” he asked, baffled by her words.

“For not leaving,” she replied. As she spoke, she pulled away from him and lifted her gaze to meet his. “I know this isn’t easy. Not that it’s ever really been easy. It’s been complicated from the start, but that fucking asshole just added more crap to this and I would’ve understood if you didn’t want to deal with it.”

“Complicated?” he repeated, shaking his head slightly. “There’s nothing complicated about this. I love you. I’ve loved you for a very long time and that’s all there is to it.”

“Francisco –”

“It’s always been simple for me.” He told her. “The only reason nothing happened sooner was because you needed space, but had you ever hinted at being ready, I would’ve ended things with whoever I was seeing and I would’ve been with you. That’s how made up my minds been. So don’t stand there and tell me you would’ve understood if I’d left, because I intend to be here for as long as you’ll have me.” He lifted his hand to her face and cupped the right side. He knew she felt vulnerable, that although she had joked earlier about the scar making her look distinguished, she harbored fears that it would make her ugly, and wanting to put her at ease, wanting to demonstrate that he loved her no matter what, he gently lowered his lips to the bandaged skin and placed a gentle kiss, and although that minimal pressure physically pained her, she couldn’t help but feel relieved. “I love you,” he whispered as he pulled away. “I love you, Aurelia.”

Overwhelmed with emotion, she grasped his hand just as he was lowering it. She held it tightly between her hands, keeping it at chest level for a moment before she lifted it to her lips. When her lips were mere centimeters from his hand, she closed her eyes and kissed the top of it, desperately attempting to convey that she’d always have him – that although she had been the hesitant one, she was now fully committed to their love and what may come from of it.