A Sense of Wonder

Nearly an hour after the winner was initially projected, Thomas Henderson conceded the election. He had held off on doing so for as long as he could, having clung to the hope that there would be a surge in votes for him that would narrow the gap and provide him with an opportunity to demand a recount. He had watched the results closely, taking notice of every single vote that came in, but with each passing minute it became more and more apparent that there was no county left for him to make up voters in. All the large counties had turned out in her favor. Sure, there were a few clumps of red here and there, he’d even managed to take a few of the smaller counties in their entirety, but that didn’t change the fact that California was overwhelmingly blue. The voters had turned out in full force to support his opponent, and even though that brutally bruised his ego, his pride understood that he had to call her. Otherwise he’d be viewed as a bad loser, and he couldn’t have that. If he was to lose, then he would do so with dignity.

As such, he had his campaign manager contact hers. At no point had there ever been an exchange of personal phone numbers between Paulina and Thomas, neither felt the other was trustworthy enough to have it. That was why whenever they spoke, they did so via their manager’s phones. It was due to that, that Thomas had to wait while Anne handed the phone over to Paulina. And as he waited, he went over what he would say. He would congratulate her on the victory and formally concede the election. Would he be sincere in his congratulations? Of course not, but sincerity was hardly commonplace in politics. All that mattered was that he spoke the words. So long as he did that, he’d be fine. That was why the moment she spoke, he cut in and uttered the lines he’d mentally prepared. He was tempted to hang up after that, he’d fulfilled his obligation, but despite that, he waited for her reply. He expected her to gloat. Had he been in her position, he would’ve done so.

Especially after all the shit they’d talked during the election, but oddly enough, she didn’t. And it wasn’t because she felt bad for him. She was glad that he lost, because if he hadn’t, she would have been the one conceding the election. So she took pleasure in the fact that he lost by such an embarrassingly large margin, and she took even more pleasure in the fact that he wouldn’t see a return on all the millions that he had invested in his campaign. He had arrogantly believed that he would be elected into office and that the various lobbyists in Washington would reward him handsomely for his vote. That was what his advisors told him, it was why his father pumped money from their business into the Super PACs, but unfortunately for them, Thomas wasn’t elected. The Hendersons lost $51 million dollars, seventeen of those were direct from Thomas’ bank account, and Paulina wanted nothing more than to rub that in his face, but she kept her mouth shut because she didn’t know whether or not their conversation was being recorded. She knew it was paranoid of her to think like that, but she wasn’t taking any risks. So she politely thanked him for the hard fought campaign and then hung up.

“Please let me know when he’s given his speech.” Paulina told Anne. “I want to take the stage ten minutes after he’s done.”

“Of course, Madam Senator,” replied Anne. “Will that be all?”

“It will.” She did her best to smile. “Thank you, Anne.”

With that settled, she redirected her attention to the glam squad. They had already finished her hair, but were barely getting started on the makeup. They were going for a much more glamorous look than the one she’d worn that morning. The goal was to have her embody Old Hollywood beauty. Her hair had already been styled accordingly. They were just waiting on the makeup to finish things off. It was a lengthy process, but Paulina was determined to step out looking beautiful. She didn’t want people noticing the bandage on the left side of her face. This was her big night, and she refused to look anything less than spectacular.

And so she sat there for nearly an hour, patiently waiting for the blending to be done, for the lashes to be glued on, and for the artist to deem her ready. When he finished, she couldn’t help but admire the work. Her hair and makeup complimented one another beautifully, and she could hardly believe the transformation that had taken place. The dark bags under her eyes had been skillfully hidden, and her eyes were so captivating that they drew the attention away from the rest of the face. She thanked the hairstylist and makeup artist warmly, hugging them and placing kisses on their cheeks, and when she finished with them, she went to the bathroom where her dress for the night awaited her.

It was a powder pink fitted dress that used a simple seam detail and an asymmetrical collar to create a flattering silhouette. It was a dress that hugged her every curve, but still remained elegant and very much appropriate for a United States Senator. From the first time Paulina had set eyes on that dress, she knew she’d wear it on Election Night. It brought together the entire look, and paired with her soft Barley Sugar tone coat and her burgundy pumps, she felt ready to take on the world.

Now that she was dressed, she wanted nothing more than to take the stage and claim her Senate seat, but she had to wait until Henderson delivered his speech. She hated that tradition. Why should she be forced to wait just because the loser was stalling? That didn’t seem right to her. He’d had more than enough time to give his speech, she’d already finished hair and makeup, but he was stalling. It was one thing to call her and admit defeat, but doing so in front of his own supporters, in front of cameras – that, he couldn’t stomach. So he held off until his campaign manager told him that he was looking cowardly, and it wasn’t until two whiskeys had been drank, that he finally found the courage to face them.

The moment that Henderson finished the speech, Jeffrey went straight over to the room to inform Paulina. She had been on her own ever since the glam squad finished, having opted to go over her speech instead of being in the living room. She wanted it to be perfect. As the first Latina in the Senate, she owed it to the community to make it a memorable one. That was why she went over every line even though she’d had it memorized for nearly a week, and when Jeffrey knocked she felt a bit annoyed at the disturbance, she wanted to keep practicing, but she had to put it down.

“Come in,” she told him.

“Ma’am,” he greeted her. “Henderson just finished his speech.”

“About damn time!” she exclaimed. “How are we looking?”

“Everything’s in order.” He informed her. “They’re just waiting on you and your family to make your way to the ballroom. As soon as they take their seats and you go backstage, the late Senator Stevenson’s daughter will introduce you.”

“Have you seen her?”

“I have,” he replied. “She’s waiting downstairs. I personally reiterated your previous invitation for her to join you in the penthouse, but she declined.”

“Did she say why?”

“She felt it was a private moment best spent among your family.”

“Well then, I suppose it’s time to get going.”

With her shoulders pushed back and her head held high, she exited the room and made her way to the others. Her family and the Kennedys had already been informed of what was to happen. The children had taken long naps earlier in the day, which gave them the energy to stay up just late enough to go out onstage with their aunt. Her family was her greatest asset and she had to show it off, that was why the babies were given noise cancelling headsets, even they had a part to play.

Before leaving the suite, Paulina took a moment to personally thank them for their unwavering support and the sacrifices that they’d made. Earlier in the day she had given them their thank you presents, but she knew that it didn’t matter how many times she said thank you, she would forever be in their debt because without them, she wouldn’t have been where she was.

The last person she spoke to was Francis, and to be honest, she didn’t really even speak to him. She just met his gaze and smiled. She’d already told him everything she had to say. That smile was just a reminder of all the love and affection and appreciation she felt towards him. And Francis understood that. After all those years, they didn’t need words anymore and so he smiled in response as he offered her his hand to take. She immediately laced her fingers with his, and it was like that that they emerged from the suite and walked all the way down to the ballroom. It was when they neared the secluded side entrance that they finally parted, Francis had to take his seat with their families, and she had to go off to the backstage area, but before he left, he kissed the corner of her mouth.

The kiss left her in a daze. She genuinely didn’t remember walking backstage, but somehow or another she ended up there with Jeffrey. It wasn’t until the crowd erupted in applause that she regained her senses. In only a few short minutes, she would be taking the stage and delivering the speech that she’d dreamt of giving ever since she was a child. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought she would be a thirty year old US Senator. In her mind, that was something she’d be in her forties – if she was lucky, but there she stood, thirty and newly elected.

“Would you like some water, Ma’am?” Jeffrey asked as they waited for Senator Stevenson’s daughter to finish the introduction. “Is there anything I could get you?”

“No,” she replied. “I’m fine, Jeffrey. Why don’t you go take your seat?”

“If it’s alright by you, I’d rather stay here. That way I can be of use if you need anything.”

“You’re a good man, Jeffrey.” She said, proudly. “I can’t wait for you to get to Washington. We’re going to do great things together.”

Jeffrey didn’t respond to that. He simply stood there looking incredibly pleased with himself – as was only right. He’d put a lot of work into getting her elected. His entire life had been placed on hold in order to follow her around California, but it had paid off. He would accompany her to Washington where he would make a name for himself.

As Jeffrey stood there, daydreaming of what was to come, Paulina listened closely to the introduction she was being given. She was initially against Senator Stevenson’s daughter introducing her. Asking felt inappropriate, especially since it hadn’t even been a year since her mother passed away, but Anne insisted. She argued that Stevenson had to be incorporated and that simply mentioning her in the victory speech wouldn’t be enough; they needed something tangible, something that people could see and that would evoke emotion. That was they asked her daughter, and to everyone’s relief, she accepted. Her speech was written by her own hand and no one from the campaign influenced it. She wrote an honest and heartfelt introduction, one that was largely shaped by the care and loyalty that Paulina had exhibited in the last months of her mother’s life.

There was a moment during the speech where she nearly lost her composure. She wasn’t as skilled as her mother when it came to public speaking, and thinking about those final days always upset her, but she pushed on because she owed it to her mother, she pushed on because she owed it to the young woman who had looked after her mother when she couldn’t.

“. . . and I know in my heart that if my mother were here, she would be immensely proud of everything this campaign accomplished.” She paused, giving the crowd time to applaud her mother’s mention. “We have elected a passionate individual who will work tirelessly to better the lives of Californians! And it is my honor to ask you to please join me in welcoming our newly elected Senator Balcázar!”

She thought she’d be nervous. She’d been fucking nervous throughout the entire introduction. What if she messed up the speech? What if it didn’t go over as well as she’d hoped? What if there was someone with a gun in the crowd? What if? Those damn what ifs had plagued her throughout the entire introduction, but the moment she heard the crowd roar, the moment they started chanting her name, her pride took over and forced her nerves aside. This was her moment. What she had sacrificed so much for, and her pride wasn’t about to let her nerves ruin it. So it got her legs going, it took her up to the edge of the stage, but before she walked out and claimed her victory, she closed her eyes. She shut them tightly, as if the force would cleanse them of all they’d ever seen before. She wanted to commit the moment to memory, to remember every last detail of it – the way the crowd chanted her name, the way it felt, the way they looked at her. It all had to be remembered, because she knew that the days ahead would be grueling, that there would be times when she would question why she ever bothered running for office, and that there would be some days that would make her lose faith in humanity. It was for those days that she had to remember, because if she did, then she’d have something to cling to.

And so she took in a deep breath and pushed her shoulders back, and when she was ready – when it felt right, she opened her eyes and took the stage. She thought she was ready for it, that winning the primary had prepared her, but stepped onto that stage was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. She felt their hopes for the future and their joy being channeled into her, and it was an incredibly humbling and overwhelming sensation. Would she be able to live up to their standards? Would she make them proud? She hoped so – fucking hell, she hoped so! She wanted to do right by her constituents, to better their quality of lives and ensure they had a real fighting chance at the American dream. That was what she wanted for them, what she would fight for in Washington, and that was why she chose to walk out to Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. She didn’t care if some thought it cheesy, it summed up the relationship she intended to have with them. So she walked out with a massive smile on her face, a smile so bright that it physically pained her, but that she wore it nonetheless. This was her time. It was her lifelong dream coming true and she was fully committing herself to it, because this would be her greatest election night, it didn’t matter how many times she was reelected in the future, none of those nights would ever feel as amazing as the first. That was why she walked out there smiling, that was why she implemented the waving technique that Lady Fellowes had so carefully taught her, and when she reached the podium, she hugged Senator Stevenson’s daughter tightly and kissed her cheek.

“Congratulations Madam Senator,” said Stevenson’s daughter.

“Thank you,” replied Paulina. “Thank you for everything you and your family have done for me.”

“It’s been a pleasure,” she assured. “Now go claim your victory.”

As Paulina stepped behind the podium, the late Senator Stevenson’s daughter exited the stage. Paulina didn’t immediately speak, now that she was standing at the podium the crowd took their excitement to an entirely new level. She hadn’t thought they could be anymore enthusiastic, but there they were, their applause and chanting was deafening. This wasn’t just her victory, it was theirs. It was their voices being heard, it was them defeating the billionaires and corporations that had pumped an obscene amount of money into Henderson’s campaign. They had fundraised on a grassroots level, they had denied themselves a trip to the movies or a dinner out, just to be able to contribute that money to her campaign, and it had all been worth it. It had all been worth it . . .

“I take it you all heard the news!” was the first thing Paulina said. Her eyes twinkled with delight as she spoke. “So much for being the one to deliver it!” she chuckled. “But if you already know, I suppose the only thing left to do is celebrate!”

That was met with a roar of approval from the crowd.

“We’ve earned it! You more than anyone deserve to celebrate, because this is your victory! You’re the ones that got out the vote! You phone banked, you went canvassing, you opened your homes to meetings and donated! Without you wonderful Californians, I would not be standing here! Without you, this campaign would’ve never taken off. It’s because you dared to believe in a kid from Azusa that all this became possible, and from the bottom of my heart – with every ounce of my being, I thank you!” She paused, waiting for the crowd to calm down enough for her to proceed. “Thank you for entrusting me with your hopes and your dreams. Thank you for giving me the privilege of representing you. It is an honor that I shall endeavor to be worthy of.”

“I love you!” shouted out a young woman from the crowd.

“I love you too!” Paulina shouted back. “And that goes for all of you!”

Once again they cheered.

“Love has been central to this campaign.” She looked over to the front row, where Francis stood alongside her family. She smiled at him, that sweet gentle smile that was reserved just for him. “The bonds we share, the one’s we’ve created – it’s what’s kept us moving forward!” She looked away from him, setting her gaze on the crowd. “Our campaign has focused on bettering the lives of Californians. We didn’t focus on giving the 1% tax breaks or deregulating the market to benefit corporations. We instead focused on raising the minimum wage so that it can once more be a living wage, because that’s what it was designed to be. We focused on racial issues, because the year might be 2016, but for many Americans it feels like the 1950s all over again. And I understand that hasn’t been an easy conversation to have, but it’s imperative that we continue that dialogue. We can no longer remain silent while minorities are murdered because of the color of their skin.” She paused, allowing her words to sink in. “This is our moment, and we’ve been gifted with an incredible platform from which to do good, because we’re not just going to be talking about reform and progress anymore, we’ll have the means to do so through my Senate seat!”

At that, the crowd once more burst into applause.

“Earlier this evening, I received a phone call from Thomas Henderson.” She transitioned to her speech. “He congratulated me on my victory, and I thanked him for the hard fought campaign. While there was undeniable tension throughout the election, there are no hard feelings between us, because everything we said, everything we did, was due to our being so passionate about California and its people.” She paused. “That was our common factor. It was what we worked so tirelessly for, and now that this election cycle has come to an end, I wish Thomas Henderson all the best in his future endeavors.”

From there, she went onto deliver the speech that had been so carefully crafter by her and Francis. He was the only person that she trusted with the task, which rightfully upset her speechwriter, but that didn’t matter. It was her first ever victory speech, the one that all others would be held to, so it had to be intimate, it had to be powerful and moving, to inspire her supporters to stand by her in the years to come, and to formally announce her place as an important player in Washington politics.

That was why she and Francis coauthored it. That was why she took every free moment she had to practice her delivery of it, because it had to be perfect. After everything her campaign had been through, after what she and her loved ones had endured, it was crucial that she demonstrate resilience and grace.

The first part of her speech pertained to her campaign promises and what she hoped to achieve in Washington. She touched on all the issues she intended to champion. She kept the tone light and optimistic, because it was imperative that that be the tone her election set. The people didn’t have to know the dark side of politics, they didn’t have to know about the backroom deals that would have to be made, the favors that would need to be asked or the bribes and occasional blackmail that would have to take place in order to get legislation passed. All they had to know was that their champion would be fighting on their behalf and delivering on her promises, and that was what her speech told them. It assured them that they had made the right choice with her, that she would provide them and their families with the opportunities to make their version of the American dream a reality.

The second portion of the speech, focused on gratitude. It was significantly shorter than the first portion, taking only five minutes as opposed to fourteen, but in those five minutes, she warmly thanked her supporters and staffers for having made her election possible. She thanked her family for their unwavering commitment and support, she thanked Senator Warren and all the other women who had influenced her, and then her voice took on a more serious tone, and she spoke fondly of her memories of Senator Stevenson, she thanked her for having placed such an incredible example of what it means to serve the people. After that, she thanked the man who had made everything possible. She recounted the story of how she met Senator Kennedy, how awkward she had been, and how kindly he had treated her. She made it clear that Senator Kennedy had had a huge impact on her life, that he’d gambled on a kid that he didn’t know all that well, but that he had a good feeling about. And so she thanked him for having placed her in the way of inspiring people and she thanked his family for having been so welcoming of her. And although she thanked his family as a unit, she went onto single out Francis. She didn’t care if she sounded like a love struck fool or if Anne told her off for having gone off script. She had to thank him for having been there for her since day one, she had to thank him for loving her and being so understanding, and so she took the opportunity to do it onstage. And from his seat, Francis stared at her with adoration, making it obvious to the world that the feelings were reciprocated.

The final part of her speech was a portion that had been written long before the campaign ever formally started. In fact, it was written while Senator Stevenson was still alive, long before Paulina learned about the cancer. It was written in July 2015, and it was stowed away for the day when Paulina would be able to utter that paragraph as a massive fuck you to the bigot who had uttered those hateful words. And since her opportunity presented itself much sooner than she ever dreamt it would, she spoke the words.

“And before I leave and we get this celebration truly underway, I feel that it is my duty as a Latina to say one last thing.” She cleared her throat. “At the beginning of this election cycle, a bigot stated that when Mexico sends their people, it sends rapists and criminals. They never retracted their words or apologized for them. They held firm in their racist convictions. To them, Mexican immigrants are nothing more than criminals. And since this is America, it is his right to hold that heinous opinion if he so wills it, but I want to make one thing perfectly clear – this United States Senator is the daughter of what Mexico sent.”

And with that, the balloons came down and her family and Francis took their cue to go onstage. Francis’ mother and brothers had been invited to get on, but they felt this was something they ought to sit out, so from their seat, they saw as Paulina embraced and hugged her family. They saw as her and Francis kissed onstage in front of the crowd and the cameras from all the major networks. It was a tender moment, one that would be synonymous with that first election night, and that was precisely what she wanted. She was proud of everything she’d accomplished. She had gotten a world class education, she’d worked for extraordinary people, she’d been elected to the United States Senate and she was in love with a man who would stand by her, no matter what was thrown their way.