I'll Tell You My Sins so You Can Sharpen Your Knife

Sarah retrieved the whistling kettle from the stove while behind her thick red smoke condensed into Crowley. She turned off the stove and poured the water into her usual teapot, the set that was a family heirloom.

“Hello, Crowley.” Sarah sighed, sounding exhausted. She was always tired, these days. “Tea?”

“Please.” Crowley replied, studying the Devil’s Trap under his chair with mild disdain. “You know, I always have liked it when you call on me. Not like those two golden boys, tying me down and threatening me. You have manners.”

“Well, can you blame them?” She poured the tea. “Sorry about the Devil’s Trap. Dean…insists.”

“Dean isn’t necessarily Dean right now. I doubt he’d care. I was actually on my way to lend a hand when you called. I can ask his position, if you’d like.”

Sarah sighed and leaned back in her chair, clutching her cup.

“So. I really am busy today, Sarah. As much as I love our little chats, I don’t have time for a social visit.”

“I need information.” She sighed. “And I figured it was time to go to my last resort.”

“Last resort? Remember who you’re speaking to.”

Sarah put her tea down with a slight frown. “Want to know a secret?”

“Sure.”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

The short man scowled at her. “Really?”

“I’m the king! I’m the king!” she mocked. “Sad little man, king of all that rotting flesh. So you kill me. So you torture me. So you flay me for centuries Earth time. But I’ll still have what you don’t.”

“And what’s that?”

“A soul.” She said simply. “The thing that allows me free will. Potential for both good and evil. What makes me human.”

“You could always sell it to me. Perhaps, for information.”

“But I won’t. Learned that lesion from my mother, selling out for her gifts. How is she doing these days?”

“Pretty well. Enjoying her time with the souls on the rack. She should have been out of there years ago but we just can’t convince her to do anything else.”

“Hm. Wonder if she’ll visit if I call.” Sarah sighed. “Even if I sold you my soul, Crowley, it wouldn’t be yours the same way it’s mine. For you it’s more like a play things.”

“I really made a mistake making that deal with your mother. Who knew you’d end up so powerful?” He poured himself more tea and added something from a flash from his jacket. “Why am I here?”
“I need to know how to fix Dean.”

Crowley sighed. “Stupid girl. This is what has everyone running around like headless chickens. Nobody knows how to bring Dean back!”

“Really? Crowley, if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you like to play both sides. Help everyone just enough to make sure you come out on top, either in power or on the shoulder of it. So. You being the greedy little despot you are, probably had a plan B for if you couldn’t control Dean. And I want to know what it is.”

“What do I get in return?”

“Squat.”

“Try again, love.”

She sighed and spread her arms wide. “What do you want? It’s a tidbit of information that you’ll probably lie about anyway. Most of what I have is far too valuable.”

“I’ve never lied to you, Sarah.”

“How do I know you aren’t going to start? Isn’t one of the ‘King of Hell’ titles ‘Prince of Lies’?”

He sighed. “We’ll do an even trade. Information for information.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Where is Castiel?”

“You know that he isn’t in any shape to come to me right now. Can’t answer my prayers.”

“And you know that pendant that you hold so dear works in two directions, and you could find him if you really wanted to.”

Sarah sighed and drank more tea. “What do you want with Cass?” she asked wearily.

“I’m only telling you because it concerns what you want to know. I am going to fix Castiel so that he can help Sam fix Dean. But I can’t find Castiel because he has hidden himself from me. And I can’t just go to Sam and Dean because I am barred from the bunker as well.”

Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose. “Get me a map.”

Crowley snapped his fingers and one appeared infront of her. Sarah dumped an ashtray on the map, spread the ashes over the area of the bunker, and took her necklace off. The small angel pendant swung from her fist. Focusing on a trenchcoat, she muttered a few words in Latin and let the pendant swing. As if attracted by a magnet, the pendant slammed down into the ashes.

“Thank you, Sarah.” Crowley said, finishing his tea and standing. “You’re the best white witch I’ve ever met.”

She nodded mindlessly. He looked at her with something that resembled pity.

“Get yourself a sin eater, love.” Crowley advised. “Even if it doesn’t work and he dies with that mark, he’s going to need someone to take that load off to get upstairs.”

Crowley disappeared and Sarah leaned back, absentmindedly rubbing her still flat stomach. She had to think about this. She couldn’t just let him back like nothing had ever happened.

Meanwhile, Sam was driving the Impala back towards the safe house, Dean handcuffed in the back seat.

“What happened to not caring, Sammy?” Dean asked. “Huh? What happened to not saving me next time around?”

“Things have changed.” Sam said, not allowing himself to look at his brother through the rearview. “You have to go back to Sarah. I made a promise.”

“Why? So a demon and a witch can play hide the salami?” His grin was wolfish. “I could give her the new anti-Christ.”

“She’s already pregnant, and it’s yours.” Sam’s knuckles were white. “And I’d rather you dead than not helping her.”

~*~

Sarah was sitting in the diner, happily eating a cheese burger and waffle fries. She was also drinking a chocolate milkshake. She was wearing a large hockey jersey, and Dean had never seen her leave the house looking so underdressed. Dean sighed and pushed open the door, walked over to her and sat across from her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” She said, sipping her shake. “How you feeling?”

He shook his head. “Like I’m coming off a month-long hangover.”

“Which you probably are.”

“Did you call me out here just to bitch me out?”

“No. But I reserve that right, and you deserve it. True, you weren’t in your normal state of mind. That said, I’m still upset.”

Dean sighed. She was right. She munched on more waffle fries.

“I called you here to tell you that I’m pregnant.” She said.

“I know.”

“Dean, this is hard enough. Just let me talk, okay?”

He looked at her and realized that she was close to tears. He reached for her hands but she jerked them away.

“I don’t know how it happened.” She said quietly. “I was so fucking careful. I didn’t want this. But now it’s happening and it’s really scary.”

“Sarah, I’m here for you.”

“But you’re not, Dean. You run off and hunt things. You still have that goddamn mark. I can’t be with you until that’s gone.” She stood and took her receipt off the table. “I love you Dean. I want you around. I want you to help with the baby. At least know him or her. But I can’t until that mark is gone.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“To not strangle me in my sleep? No. I don’t. Like you say, I’m a monster. And to the mark, that means I’m an easy excuse to kill.” She leaned over and kissed the side of his head, holding him there for a minute. “Let me know if you’re ready to come home.”

Sarah walked over to the counter and quickly paid for her meal, then walked out of the diner. She ignored Sam watching her from inside the Impala and got into her own car, and drove off. Dean got back into the driver’s seat of his own car.

“What happened?” Sam asked.

Dean started the car. “She doesn’t want me around until the mark’s gone. I can’t say I blame her. I don’t really want me around either.”

Sam didn’t say anything as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“She said, let her know if I’m ready to come home.” Dean said. “I didn’t realize I had a home.”

“Well, you keep going back to her. Isn’t that a home?”

“I’ve been making a point to not screw things up for anyone else.”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, like her having a baby was planned.”

Dean was expressionless, which wasn’t good.

“Look, Dean. We’ve both given up a lot to protect other people. To keep their lives normal. But Sarah? I hate to say it, but Sarah’s already screwed. But you two have something. So, keep it. besides, you already fucked up with her so many times, I doubt you could drive her away if you tried.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Sammy. Great pep talk.”

“So? Let’s go get this mark off your arm.”