I'll Tell You My Sins so You Can Sharpen Your Knife
What are men to rocks and mountains?
Sarah felt like she had been asleep for ten minutes before Elizabeth’s cries woke her up again. Sarah had only been a mother for three months now, but this had to be the absolute worst part of it. Even the angsty teenage years, which thankfully were years away, couldn’t be worse than this.
Sarah moaned and sat up, looking at Dean. His eyes were shut, but she could tell he was awake. “Dean?” she asked.
“No.” he said simply.
Sarah sighed and swung her legs out of bed, walking out of the room and into Elizabeth’s nursery. Never in her life had she slept with the bedroom doors open, but now she did.
“Alright, Princess Elizabeth.” Sarah muttered, picking up her crying daughter and resting her on her shoulder. “What is it this time, huh?”
Bouncing her wasn’t working, her diaper didn’t need to be changed. Sarah sighed and headed downstairs with Elizabeth to warm up some baby formula, and to make a pot of coffee. It was six am anyway.
Upstairs, Dean’s phone started to ring.
Sarah sighed and shifted her daughter in her arms, placing the bottle in the pot of warming water. She turned her attention back to the coffee pot. Elizabeth had stopped crying, but she was still whimpering. A complete melt down was on the way.
Dean came down the stairs, already in jeans and pulling a shirt over his head. He followed the smell of coffee through the living room and dining room, into the kitchen. Sarah was humming softly while minding the warming bottle of formula. Elizabeth’s tiny face peered over her shoulder at him. She had his eyes and blonde hair which would probably darken, and a round little face that looked like it would turn into her mother’s.
Sarah turned around and observed him fully dressed. She felt her heart sink, but she didn’t say it. “Coffee?”
“I got it.” he said, crossing to where she was to grab mugs. She had become a professional at doing everything one handed, but he could still be useful when he was around. “Sam called.”
“This early? What did he want?”
“He…he needs some help on a jab.”
“I see.” She took the bottle out of the water and rolled it on a rag. “What is it?”
“Didn’t say.”
She sighed and handed him Elizabeth and the bottle. “Here. Feed her. I’ll go throw some clothes together for you.”
“Don’t forget the suit.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you’d want to show up at the morgue as a mechanic.”
Dean had to laugh as she took her coffee and went upstairs. Dean set his own coffee on the kitchen table and sat in one of the chairs, tilting the bottle towards Elizabeth’s mouth. He looked out the window at the early morning. The time in one place had been great.
But duty called.
When Sarah came back down the stairs with his bag, he was patiently burping Elizabeth on his shoulder.
“Clothes, fake IDs, shaving bag, laptop, phone charger.” Sarah said, zipping up the bag. She stopped in the dining room and unzipped the bag to shove in a book. “Research book for Sam.”
“How did I ever get on before without someone to pack my bags for me?” he mocked.
“You lived in your car, asshole.”
“I can’t wait until Elizabeth starts understanding words so that you can’t swear at me anymore.”
“Hm, I bet you can’t. Is she done?”
“Yeah, I think so. I’ll put her back in her crib.”
“Make sure – “
“Baby monitor. I know.”
Sarah watched him walk out of the room and then topped off her coffee. She went into the living room and turned on the news before sitting and turning on her own end of the baby monitor. She momentarily closed her eyes.
Upstairs, Dean was placing Elizabeth back in her crib. He gently touched her fuzzy blonde hair, trying not to wake her.
It’s alright, sweetheart. I’ll take care of all the monsters so that you never have to.
With a sigh he snapped on the baby moniter and then went back downstairs. Sarah was sitting on the couch watching the news. She took a large gulp of coffee.
“I should go.” He said, standing behind the couch and looking down at her. “I’ll call you when I get there.”
“Okay. Don’t forget to tell Sam about Elizabeth’s baptism.”
“Still don’t know why you’re insisting on that.”
“I want Cass to be able to answer her prayers. Like he did for me.”
“He can do that without us making a big deal of it.”
She ignored him. He knew that she had a special bond with the angel.
“Have you heard from him at all?”
“Not since Elizabeth was born. Why?”
Dean shrugged. “Sam said he ran off with a call on angel radio. Just odd, that’s all.”
Sarah sighed and touched her pendant. “Well, he’s not dead, if that’s what you’re asking.” She looked at him, then smiled. “Your brother needs you. Quit stalling.”
He sighed. “Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?”
“Dean. Please. I’ll be fine. Elizabeth will be fine.”
He leant down and kissed her. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Alright.”
~*~
They didn’t hear from Castiel until the day of the baptism. They didn’t even know if he’d come. They had skipped the mass and had asked the priest to hold the short ceremony around noon. It was Sarah, Dean, Sam, Charlie, and Crowley.
“I’m here.”
Sarah jumped and turned to see Castiel. She smiled widely and went to hug him, but he stopped her.
“Sarah, we need to talk.”
Sarah glanced at everyone else making their way to the altar. “Can’t it wait? Is this important.”
“It’s very important.”
“Are we all going to die in the next twenty minutes?”
“No.”
“Then it can wait. I’m busy saving my daughter’s mortal soul.”
“Can we hurry this up?” Crowley groaned, looking back at the pair. “I’m sweating like a whore in a…well, never mind.”
“What are you even doing here?” Sam asked incredulously.
“Sarah invited me.”
“Sarah.” Castiel begged. “Please.”
“Twenty minutes, Cass. Please.”
~*~
After the baptism, everyone except Crowley returned to the house for lunch. Charlie held Elizabeth while Castiel explained where he had been for the past few months.
“Something odd happened, after Elizabeth was born.” He said. “The old Gods, they started disappearing.”
“Something was hunting them?” Sam asked.
“No. They left of their own will. It turned out that they went to a large meeting. They haven’t had a meeting on this scale since the Apocolypse. And even that wasn’t…wasn’t as big.”
“Well, what was it about?” Sarah asked.
Castiel looked at her, and Sarah didn’t think she had ever seen any creature look so sad. “Elizabeth.”
“Elizabeth.” Dean repeated. “Our daughter Elizabeth. She warrants the attention of all of the most powerful beings on the planet.”
Castiel looked out the window.
“Cass, what do they want with her?” Sarah asked.
“They’re deciding.” He said. “There’s an argument going on. Some think they should kill her before she kills them.”
Charlie gasped. “But how can they think that? She’s just a baby.”
“Just a baby now. But think about who Sarah is. Who Dean is. Plus the change that Dean’s soul was already slightly demonized during conception. They can’t be sure what will happen.”
“What do we do?” Sarah asked. “What can we do?”
Castiel didn’t move. He just looked out the window.
“Cass?” Dean asked. “What do we do?”
“Nothing.” He said hollowly. “There’s nothing we can do but wait for them to decide.”
They were all silent.
“Give her to me.” Sarah said, holding her arms out to Charlie. “I’m going to put her to bed.”
Charlie silently handed over the baby. Sarah closed her eyes tightly as she held her daughter to her chest and then headed for the stairs.
“It’s going to be okay.” She promised.
Sarah felt helpless and scared. She wanted to cry and scream. Throw books around the room. But she didn’t.
“It’s going to be okay.” She repeated, looking at her daughter’s sleeping face. “Because I will do everything to protect you. And your father will do anything to protect you. And your uncle. And your godmother Charlie. Even Crowley.”
She reached the nursery and gently placed her daughter in the crib.
“But most of all,” Sarah said, reaching behind her neck and unfastening the clasp of her necklace, “most of all, you have your guardian angel, Castiel.”
Sarah hung the necklace on the corner of the crib, and leaned over the edge of the crib to kiss her daughters face.
“I will never let them take you.” She promised.
Sarah moaned and sat up, looking at Dean. His eyes were shut, but she could tell he was awake. “Dean?” she asked.
“No.” he said simply.
Sarah sighed and swung her legs out of bed, walking out of the room and into Elizabeth’s nursery. Never in her life had she slept with the bedroom doors open, but now she did.
“Alright, Princess Elizabeth.” Sarah muttered, picking up her crying daughter and resting her on her shoulder. “What is it this time, huh?”
Bouncing her wasn’t working, her diaper didn’t need to be changed. Sarah sighed and headed downstairs with Elizabeth to warm up some baby formula, and to make a pot of coffee. It was six am anyway.
Upstairs, Dean’s phone started to ring.
Sarah sighed and shifted her daughter in her arms, placing the bottle in the pot of warming water. She turned her attention back to the coffee pot. Elizabeth had stopped crying, but she was still whimpering. A complete melt down was on the way.
Dean came down the stairs, already in jeans and pulling a shirt over his head. He followed the smell of coffee through the living room and dining room, into the kitchen. Sarah was humming softly while minding the warming bottle of formula. Elizabeth’s tiny face peered over her shoulder at him. She had his eyes and blonde hair which would probably darken, and a round little face that looked like it would turn into her mother’s.
Sarah turned around and observed him fully dressed. She felt her heart sink, but she didn’t say it. “Coffee?”
“I got it.” he said, crossing to where she was to grab mugs. She had become a professional at doing everything one handed, but he could still be useful when he was around. “Sam called.”
“This early? What did he want?”
“He…he needs some help on a jab.”
“I see.” She took the bottle out of the water and rolled it on a rag. “What is it?”
“Didn’t say.”
She sighed and handed him Elizabeth and the bottle. “Here. Feed her. I’ll go throw some clothes together for you.”
“Don’t forget the suit.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you’d want to show up at the morgue as a mechanic.”
Dean had to laugh as she took her coffee and went upstairs. Dean set his own coffee on the kitchen table and sat in one of the chairs, tilting the bottle towards Elizabeth’s mouth. He looked out the window at the early morning. The time in one place had been great.
But duty called.
When Sarah came back down the stairs with his bag, he was patiently burping Elizabeth on his shoulder.
“Clothes, fake IDs, shaving bag, laptop, phone charger.” Sarah said, zipping up the bag. She stopped in the dining room and unzipped the bag to shove in a book. “Research book for Sam.”
“How did I ever get on before without someone to pack my bags for me?” he mocked.
“You lived in your car, asshole.”
“I can’t wait until Elizabeth starts understanding words so that you can’t swear at me anymore.”
“Hm, I bet you can’t. Is she done?”
“Yeah, I think so. I’ll put her back in her crib.”
“Make sure – “
“Baby monitor. I know.”
Sarah watched him walk out of the room and then topped off her coffee. She went into the living room and turned on the news before sitting and turning on her own end of the baby monitor. She momentarily closed her eyes.
Upstairs, Dean was placing Elizabeth back in her crib. He gently touched her fuzzy blonde hair, trying not to wake her.
It’s alright, sweetheart. I’ll take care of all the monsters so that you never have to.
With a sigh he snapped on the baby moniter and then went back downstairs. Sarah was sitting on the couch watching the news. She took a large gulp of coffee.
“I should go.” He said, standing behind the couch and looking down at her. “I’ll call you when I get there.”
“Okay. Don’t forget to tell Sam about Elizabeth’s baptism.”
“Still don’t know why you’re insisting on that.”
“I want Cass to be able to answer her prayers. Like he did for me.”
“He can do that without us making a big deal of it.”
She ignored him. He knew that she had a special bond with the angel.
“Have you heard from him at all?”
“Not since Elizabeth was born. Why?”
Dean shrugged. “Sam said he ran off with a call on angel radio. Just odd, that’s all.”
Sarah sighed and touched her pendant. “Well, he’s not dead, if that’s what you’re asking.” She looked at him, then smiled. “Your brother needs you. Quit stalling.”
He sighed. “Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?”
“Dean. Please. I’ll be fine. Elizabeth will be fine.”
He leant down and kissed her. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Alright.”
~*~
They didn’t hear from Castiel until the day of the baptism. They didn’t even know if he’d come. They had skipped the mass and had asked the priest to hold the short ceremony around noon. It was Sarah, Dean, Sam, Charlie, and Crowley.
“I’m here.”
Sarah jumped and turned to see Castiel. She smiled widely and went to hug him, but he stopped her.
“Sarah, we need to talk.”
Sarah glanced at everyone else making their way to the altar. “Can’t it wait? Is this important.”
“It’s very important.”
“Are we all going to die in the next twenty minutes?”
“No.”
“Then it can wait. I’m busy saving my daughter’s mortal soul.”
“Can we hurry this up?” Crowley groaned, looking back at the pair. “I’m sweating like a whore in a…well, never mind.”
“What are you even doing here?” Sam asked incredulously.
“Sarah invited me.”
“Sarah.” Castiel begged. “Please.”
“Twenty minutes, Cass. Please.”
~*~
After the baptism, everyone except Crowley returned to the house for lunch. Charlie held Elizabeth while Castiel explained where he had been for the past few months.
“Something odd happened, after Elizabeth was born.” He said. “The old Gods, they started disappearing.”
“Something was hunting them?” Sam asked.
“No. They left of their own will. It turned out that they went to a large meeting. They haven’t had a meeting on this scale since the Apocolypse. And even that wasn’t…wasn’t as big.”
“Well, what was it about?” Sarah asked.
Castiel looked at her, and Sarah didn’t think she had ever seen any creature look so sad. “Elizabeth.”
“Elizabeth.” Dean repeated. “Our daughter Elizabeth. She warrants the attention of all of the most powerful beings on the planet.”
Castiel looked out the window.
“Cass, what do they want with her?” Sarah asked.
“They’re deciding.” He said. “There’s an argument going on. Some think they should kill her before she kills them.”
Charlie gasped. “But how can they think that? She’s just a baby.”
“Just a baby now. But think about who Sarah is. Who Dean is. Plus the change that Dean’s soul was already slightly demonized during conception. They can’t be sure what will happen.”
“What do we do?” Sarah asked. “What can we do?”
Castiel didn’t move. He just looked out the window.
“Cass?” Dean asked. “What do we do?”
“Nothing.” He said hollowly. “There’s nothing we can do but wait for them to decide.”
They were all silent.
“Give her to me.” Sarah said, holding her arms out to Charlie. “I’m going to put her to bed.”
Charlie silently handed over the baby. Sarah closed her eyes tightly as she held her daughter to her chest and then headed for the stairs.
“It’s going to be okay.” She promised.
Sarah felt helpless and scared. She wanted to cry and scream. Throw books around the room. But she didn’t.
“It’s going to be okay.” She repeated, looking at her daughter’s sleeping face. “Because I will do everything to protect you. And your father will do anything to protect you. And your uncle. And your godmother Charlie. Even Crowley.”
She reached the nursery and gently placed her daughter in the crib.
“But most of all,” Sarah said, reaching behind her neck and unfastening the clasp of her necklace, “most of all, you have your guardian angel, Castiel.”
Sarah hung the necklace on the corner of the crib, and leaned over the edge of the crib to kiss her daughters face.
“I will never let them take you.” She promised.