Brand New Eyes
Misguided Ghost
Levi Jr. has been home for a week, and it has been the most mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting week of my life.
Greyson calls every day, sometimes several times a day to check on Levi, and myself, it has me confused on who he really is now. Whether he has truly changed of not. Whether or not I still love him.
Levi has been great, he takes care of Levi so I can get some rest, on top of his ridiculous work schedule. It's just confusing to think that I can't make up my mind when I was so sure up until this moment.
"Hey baby," Levi comes straight in the door, kisses me, then Levi.
"Hi," I respond sharply.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He clearly hears my tone of voice.
"Levi, I'm going away for a while but I'll be back, don't try to follow me 'Cause I'll return as soon as possible. See, I'm trying to find my place but it might not be here where I feel safe..."
"What are you talking about Avery?" He is hurt, it is clear in his eyes and his voice. He's confused and hurt.
"We all learn to make mistakes and run from them, from them with no direction. We'll run from them, from them with no conviction, I just need time to think, to decide what's right for me. I don't know where I should be, the past few days I have seen things I have never seen, and I feel like a misguided ghost travelin' endlessly. The ones I trusted the most pushed me far away, and there's no one road, every person has multiple that they have to choose from, and I need time to think, and reevaluate my choices Levi, I love you," The tears stream from my eyes, as they do his.
I grab Levi Jr and head for the door, besides Levi there's one other person I can talk to, as a last resort of sorts.
"Would you care to classify? Our broken hearts and twisted minds, so I can find someone to rely on and run to them, to them
full speed ahead. So I can feel like I'm whole again," My mother just looks at me for a moment.
"Avery, you feel useless like you threw something away that was worth it for something that was worth it, you're just confused about everything, because of him," she looks down at Levi Jr, "Greyson is acting different, and it makes you feel useless, like you did something stupid," It was partially a question.
I nod.
"You're not useless, we are just... it's the way of life, you can not have both, and either way it is going to hurt Avery, but from what you have told me, Greyson has changed because of Levi Jr, and Levi hasn't changed at all," She makes a face at Levi Jr.
"And now I'm told that this is life, that pain is just a simple compromise so we can get what we want out of it," I huff. She has not helped one bit, she just elaborated on what I already know. I know this is my choice, I just don't know what path to walk.
"This is life Avery, go decide what to do, who knows maybe you're second guessing because Greyson truly has changed," She shrugs and hands me Levi Jr, "Oh, and call me with your decision, I deserve to know," She smiles, at what, I don't know.
Greyson calls every day, sometimes several times a day to check on Levi, and myself, it has me confused on who he really is now. Whether he has truly changed of not. Whether or not I still love him.
Levi has been great, he takes care of Levi so I can get some rest, on top of his ridiculous work schedule. It's just confusing to think that I can't make up my mind when I was so sure up until this moment.
"Hey baby," Levi comes straight in the door, kisses me, then Levi.
"Hi," I respond sharply.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He clearly hears my tone of voice.
"Levi, I'm going away for a while but I'll be back, don't try to follow me 'Cause I'll return as soon as possible. See, I'm trying to find my place but it might not be here where I feel safe..."
"What are you talking about Avery?" He is hurt, it is clear in his eyes and his voice. He's confused and hurt.
"We all learn to make mistakes and run from them, from them with no direction. We'll run from them, from them with no conviction, I just need time to think, to decide what's right for me. I don't know where I should be, the past few days I have seen things I have never seen, and I feel like a misguided ghost travelin' endlessly. The ones I trusted the most pushed me far away, and there's no one road, every person has multiple that they have to choose from, and I need time to think, and reevaluate my choices Levi, I love you," The tears stream from my eyes, as they do his.
I grab Levi Jr and head for the door, besides Levi there's one other person I can talk to, as a last resort of sorts.
"Would you care to classify? Our broken hearts and twisted minds, so I can find someone to rely on and run to them, to them
full speed ahead. So I can feel like I'm whole again," My mother just looks at me for a moment.
"Avery, you feel useless like you threw something away that was worth it for something that was worth it, you're just confused about everything, because of him," she looks down at Levi Jr, "Greyson is acting different, and it makes you feel useless, like you did something stupid," It was partially a question.
I nod.
"You're not useless, we are just... it's the way of life, you can not have both, and either way it is going to hurt Avery, but from what you have told me, Greyson has changed because of Levi Jr, and Levi hasn't changed at all," She makes a face at Levi Jr.
"And now I'm told that this is life, that pain is just a simple compromise so we can get what we want out of it," I huff. She has not helped one bit, she just elaborated on what I already know. I know this is my choice, I just don't know what path to walk.
"This is life Avery, go decide what to do, who knows maybe you're second guessing because Greyson truly has changed," She shrugs and hands me Levi Jr, "Oh, and call me with your decision, I deserve to know," She smiles, at what, I don't know.