Forever And Never

"What are you doing?" I heard his voice from behind me, and I immediately turned around from the door and hid my hands behind my back, trying to mask the look of guilt and fear on my face. August was standing there, anger on his face as he surveyed the situation he'd come upon.
"Your not trying to escape are you?" He questioned, and I could see his fists ball up. I was so terrified I could hardly even speak; my hands were shaking uncontrollably, causing me to drop the rusted old bobby pin I'd been attempting to pick the lock with. It fell to the floor and made a small clanking noise as it made contact. August's eyes immediately darted towards it when he heard the sound. He recognized it's purpose, and when he turned his attention back to me his eyes were wild with anger.
"You whore!" he yelled, advancing towards me with crazy speed, my eyes couldn't keep up and I didn't know he was in front of me until his hand was around my neck and I was being pushed up against the door. I felt all the air rush out of me, and I was unable to retrieve it with him cutting off my air supply. I choked weakly, trying to speak so I could convince him to let me go.
"Please..." I gasped, as my fingers tried to wrap around his hand so I could pull it away from my throat. It was a useless attempt, begging or pulling at his fingers, I knew he was much stronger than I could ever be.
"Your pathetic," He growled, his face inches from mine, and his crystal blue eyes burning in the dim light. I couldn't help but look into them as he looked me up and down then, finally, he shoved me hard against the door, then dropped me and stepped back.
I fell to the floor and, leaning against the door, I coughed and rubbed my throat where there would no doubt be bruises later. I could feel my pulse throbbing as I sucked in as much air as possible. As I sat there, August kneeled down beside me and picked up the rusted bobby pin laying on the floor. He examined it closely, looking occasionally at the huge pad lock above my head.
Eventually he looked to me and I watched him, still breathing hard, as he closed his hand around the bobby pin and squeezed it as hard as he could, revealing nothing put specks of rusted metal when he opened his palm. He leaned in close to me again, his face probably a good five inches from mine.
"If you want to die, go ahead and try to escape again." He leaned back a little, held his open palm to his face, and blew the remains of the bobby pin into the air. A small amount landed on my legs and arms, but I simply brushed it away.
He rose and walked to the other side of the small room where another door was where he'd entered from. Once he was about a foot away I said, "I want out," very small and unintimidating but I said it. He stopped and turned a little, looking over his shoulder and said, "Hmm?"
"I don't want this anymore," I continued a little louder, as tears started to come to my eyes. "I hate this. I just want out." I looked down as the crying increased and I felt the tears rolling down my face. I was sick of being trapped like this.
He turned fully back around and put his arms up, "But darling, this is what you asked for isn't it?"
"No..." I whimpered, shaking my head. "I just want it all to stop. I never wanted this, I never asked for this." I closed my eyes and put my arms around myself, now sobbing as I sat in my prison which I could never hope to escape. I wasn't concerned with August for a second, but then I felt something hit me, all of me, and I knew it had to be him.
"Well, this is what you get." He said, only it sounded deformed and warped and ten times louder than his ordinary voice. I screamed at the intense booming of the world and my hands flew to my ears to protect them, and that's how I jolted back into consciousness. My hands were still over my ears, and it took me a second to open my eyes and see that I was in the bedroom now, in the bed, safe .
I sat up in bed and just took a few breaths to calm my mind. The blood gave my body all the oxygen it needed now so breathing was unneeded, but just letting myself breath calmed me down enough to help me mostly forget the dream. Violet dreams like that weren't as common as others, but they still occurred and I classified them as nightmares. They were always haunting, always leaving me shaken.
I looked around the room, and noticed that it was still dark outside, so probably still late into the night. I let out one last breath and laid back down in my bed, on my back looking up at the ceiling.
"Are you alright?" I heard Ramsey say, making me jump all over again. I sat up quickly looking around till I spotted him slipping through the bedroom door. "I heard you scream..." he continued, closing the door behind him and standing by the wall.
"Oh, I didn't know I screamed out loud..." I murmured, feeling guilty for waking him up.
"It wasn't very loud, I just heard it..." His words faded and he looked down at the ground. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, what seemed off about what was in front of me, but all of a sudden it came to me: he was fully dressed. It was way too early for him to be getting ready for work, and way too late for him to still be in day clothes.
"Why are you fully dressed?" I asked, narrowing my eyes and looking at him. He didn't answer me, and I knew what was going on. He'd snuck out again in the middle of the night, like he'd done only weeks ago. He must've heard my scream and gone to check on me, forgetting that he wasn't dressed like he'd just woken up.
I didn't know what to say, honestly. The last time I'd discovered that he wasn't here when he was so post to be, I'd had a million things I wanted to say. I wanted to scream and rant till dawn, wanted to make sure he knew that he wasn't sneaky, and I'd caught him. But now... he was already guilty as could be, he already knew that I was aware of what he was doing.
"I'd better head back to bed..." He mumbled, and started to make his way to the door. I watched him go, waited till he was practically out the door till I spoke.
"Where do you keep going at night?" I whispered, almost afraid to ask because I'd been able to see a taste of Ramsey's anger when him and Raven had been fighting a few days ago, and I didn't want it directed at me. But I couldn't just not say it, couldn't just go on pretending like I didn't know about the secrets, couldn't at least try to figure some of it all out.
I almost wished he hadn't heard me, or had ignored me, but instead he stopped and looked at me. It wasn't the intense, hard eyes of someone who's secrets were being threatened, he seemed like he was almost looking past me.
"What are you talking about?" He finally voiced, his words sounding odd when they mixed with the silent, awkward feeling that the room had taken on.
"You've snuck out during the night at least twice now, I've seen it with my own eyes. Your standing before me, fully dressed like your either going to go out, or have just come back. You can't possibly not know what I'm talking about." My words were robotic, like I'd rehearsed them a million times. Somehow I was able to find courage in the oddest of situations.
Ramsey was quiet for a long time, though he looked at me this time and not the floor. I could only imagine what was going through his mind, only ponder at how he was planning his actions. It was possibly minutes before he decided what to say to me: "Can we just forget about this? It's not something I want to talk about."
I was about to speak, though I hadn't planned anything to say, but he continued speaking, "I am an independent person, and I think I can do what I wish without having to be checked up on by you, my student." He paused, "Why can't you ever just get over things?"
He was speaking calmly, his voice never rising any higher than a normal tone, but I could still feel all the emotions put into his words. I didn't reply, and had no intention to say anything more to him till we were back on friendlier grounds. So we were there in silence for a few minutes, neither of us breathing or moving.
Finally, Ramsey shifted a little then moved towards to the door, his eyes finally turning away from me. I heard him open my door, and he said: "Go back to sleep, you have a big day ahead of you," before walking out into the hall and closing the door behind him.
I kept myself awake, determined to catch him if he made a move to leave. But he simply changed into clothes he normally slept in, laid on the couch and was asleep after about an hour. When I was convinced that he wasn't going to try anything, I laid back down myself and was asleep in minutes.