Forever And Never

The days began to collect, gradually morphing into weeks and, with an even slower pace, became months. After the day with August in the court yard, we began to gradually become closer with time. Keeping the interest he'd seemed to have in me in mind, I began the rigorous task of becoming closer to him though after making attempts for weeks I'd made very little progress.
Automatically, I became aware of the fact that he didn't like being touched at all. Though it may have been my imagination, it seemed as if he wanted to touch me – hold my hand, put his arm next to mine – but he held himself back from making any move to further our relationship. I wasn't sure what it was that made him keep to himself, but it was only a small annoyance that I could easily look past. Upon his return, my mood picked up once again and I found myself smiling and laughing as I had done before school had even started in the summer. Ali and Lori were pleased with the sudden upturn in my attitude, and didn't question what he happened to cheer me up.
I sat quietly in my seventh period, only vaguely keeping my attention on the TV in the front of the classroom as it played a documentary on the beginning of the human race. We'd already gone over it all through worksheets and homework, and I was confident that it wasn't necessary for me to watch the movie. Our teacher had left the room minutes ago, having taken a phone call out into the hall. Nonchalantly, I watched August out of the corner of my eye as he pulled a sheet of paper from his folder, and began writing on it. After a minute or so, he folded it up and turned around in his seat, handing Megan Harris the paper. Though I pretended not to notice this, I mentally yelled a few choice phrases in my mind directed at her.
She held it in her hands, smiling down at it with almost too much delight. She'd been making small attempts at August for weeks, but had so far been unsuccessful in making him take his eyes off me and look to her. If she hadn't been so focused on the note in her grimy hands, she probably would have glared at me victoriously. But as she was about to unfold it and read its contents August voiced, "Can you pass that to Nicolette?"
She looked back up at him surprised, and then her eyes turned to me with a dumb expression. "Would you mind passing the notes between us… it's a little hard to give her the note from here." he explained with a smile, his calm, collected expression never faltering. She shook her head with a smile, never wanting to seem like anything less than a perfect angel in front of him, but glared at me as she passed me the folded note.
I took the paper in my hands for a second and let my mind race with all the possibilities that it could hold. It could be asking if I wanted to go on a date with him, maybe to a movie with him, or out to dinner, or for coffee. It could by a confession of his feelings towards me, saying how cute he thinks I am, how big of a crush he was on me… it could be asking me if I wanted to be his girlfriend… With a little too much haste I tore open the note, anxious to solve the mystery of its contents.
'Hi, Nicolette how are you today? This movie is really boring. I don't think anybody in this class cares. I would've skipped this class, had I know we'd be doing this.'
I felt a small twinge of disappointment when the note didn't hint to any masked feelings he might by harboring towards me. I almost didn't feel like writing back, but the opportunity to annoying Megan by making her pass our notes along convinced me to reply and I pulled out a pen from my bag and replied:
'I know it's really boring and annoying. I've never liked history that much, anyways. My day was good, it was really boring though. All I did was work and stuff like that. How was your day?'
I folded the note back to its original size, mirroring the creases in the paper made my August, then leaned forward a little and tossed the note on Megan's desk. She jumped, Startled by the plopping noise it made next to her arm, then glared at me as I grinned happily and pointed to August, who had his head down on his desk no longer making an attempt to show interest in the film playing. She gave me another dirty look before tapping August on the shoulder. He sat up quickly and turned, smiling when she handed him the note with as much fake cheer as she could muster. He turned back around and I watched him and he gracefully unfolded the note, read it, then replied.
The remanding time in class was spent passing small notes to and from me and August, using Megan as the reluctant deliverer. I wanted to talk to him of course, but I’d taken advantage of being able to taunt Megan in the process of slowly but surely becoming closer to August. Making her life hell was just one positive outcome of the class period.
When the bell rang and the class ended, I noticed August take the paper, now filled front to back with small messages, and file it away into his folder in between a stack of work. I stood up with the rest of the class as everyone poured to the exit door and into the hallway to leave for home, but by the time the crowd cleared I saw that August was no longer in the room. He'd already gotten up, rushing quickly out of class and practically sprinting to some unknown location.
I glared angrily at the classroom door as people quickly rushed through it and out into the hall. As reluctant as I was to join Ali and Lori when I was in such a bad mood I walked through the door after everyone, making my way to the side doors and down the wide walkway parallel to the parking lot until I found my car and climbed in with a flustered sigh.
"Nicolette!" Lori called loudly, opening the door to my car and sitting down in the front seat. Ali followed much quietly, singing "Hi Nicolette," as she slid gracefully into the back seat. The both of them smiled at me as they set their things down and got comfortable, but when my only response was a weak, unenthusiastic "Hi Guys," they dropped everything they were doing and both gave me a concerned look.
"What?" I questioned, the annoyance and frustration in my voice now clearly visible. I started my car, thankful for the distraction so I wouldn't have to meet their eyes, and quickly left the parking lot. "You sound happy." Lori answered dully, her unwillingness to deal with me being depressed once again clear in her voice.
"I am happy," I responded confidently, almost believing it myself as the two of them looked at me strangely. "I really am, I'm just exhausted from being at school all day," I stopped at a red light and took the chance to look at Lori, then Ali who sat in the back seat leaning forward to be included. They appeared to believe me because after a second of silence in the car, Lori began talking about something that happened in her class. I listened only a little to the story, thinking instead of August and his mesmerizing eyes.