Forever And Never

"Are you sure I shouldn't go with you?" At this I turned from the mirror, my hands holding my hairbrush in one hand and my straightener in the other fell to my side and I tilted my head to the left staring angrily at Ramsey who stood a few feet away in the door frame of the bathroom. When Monday came and I told Ramsey that I wanted to go by myself to register for school, he's responded by spending the entire morning trying to convince me that it was a bad idea.
"I can register on my own," I finally said after a minute of silence between the two of us. I'd been saying it all morning, giving my best attempt to prevent Ramsey from thinking he had to go with me. My voice was calm this time, unlike it had been in a few instances before, and it may have been the rationalizing tone that caused Ramsey to look at me quietly like I had, then back down from his argument and continue to stand there in silence while I turned back to the mirror. When my hair passed inspection and I'd applied a small amount of make up, I sighed quietly then turned and slid past Ramsey where he stood in the doorway. I'd been afraid of a reaction from him, but he let me pass and continue to my room to pick out clothes to wear. Once in my room, I kneeled down next to the pile of clothes accumulated in the corner of the room and sifted through them quietly in search of something not only appropriate, but something to protect me from the sun. After a minute or so in my room, I heard Ramsey leave the threshold of the restroom and walk slowly toward the kitchen where I heard him opening and closing cabinets.
Eventually, I picked a pair of black pants from the pile that I was pretty sure were mine, a navy blue sleeveless tunic, and my yellow jacket. I changed quickly in my room, picked out a pair of black flats then walked into the living room, anxious to speak with Ramsey to settle the small dispute we were in. I knew that I needed him on my side right now, and I couldn't afford to argue with him because he could easily decide to not let me register for school at all.
When I walked through the hall and into the living room, Ramsey was looking through the fridge silently his back facing me. I frowned and walked towards the pantry of food, pulling out a box of cereal from the top shelf. He closed the fridge slowly having only taken the milk from it, then opened a cabinet to his right and pulled out two bowls, then rummaged through I drawer till he pulled out two spoons. Finally, he walked back to the table and sat down, waiting for me to join. I sat down across from him and watched as he poured cereal in the bowls, one for me one for him. I grabbed the milk from the center of the table and pouring it into the bowl, only choosing to talk when I felt comfortable enough.
"I really think I could do this myself…" I voiced quietly, looking up once I was satisfied with the amount of milk in my bowl. He said nothing, only took the milk from my hand for his own breakfast. "I mean, I've been going out into the world for months now." I grabbed one of the spoons resting on the table and began eating.
"Yes, I know you're capable of going out on your own to do this but I really think I’d feel a lot better if I went with you. Registering for school can be complicated when you’re a vampire, there are a lot of excuses you have to make up. And since I've done it before I think the two of us should go." He started to eat also, giving me the opportunity to speak.
"I can lie just as good as you can..." I paused, realizing how rude my reply had sounded I spoke again before he could take offense. "I just think... You've been training me so much to be outside and how to act in the world, and I am technically out of training now. This seems like a chance for me to prove to you that I can go to school and be normal. If I can do this, then school will be easy. And if I mess us at all, you can pull me from school and I'll never ask again." I looked down at my food, a little disappointed in myself that I'd gone so low as to start bargaining with him just so I could go by myself and do this.
Ramsey was looking down at the table also, his spoon still in the bowl of cereal before him but his hands were resting in his lap. When I looked back up, his eyes were cast down at the table and after a minute or so he looked back up at me finally saying, "I could pull together a great disguise…You remember when you first met me, and I had on all those things to change my appearance. I could do the same this time, so I would look completely different." He was bargaining as well, and I sighed lightly before speaking.
"That won't change the fact that I'll be showing up at registration with some strange man who looks like he’s twenty-five. What would people think when they saw the two of us? People would start to think things, and it could mess up my year of high school before it even started." I paused, looking away from Ramsey and the table and my food. I wanted to start the school year off right, and showing up with Ramsey... it'd never work. It was something I wasn't willing to do, even if he was my safety net.
After a long pause Ramsey finally nodded in agreement saying, "Yea, I guess your right about that." I looked back at him and smiled, thankful that he was no longer pushing the matter and was seeing it from my perspective at last. "I guess you showing up with an older man constantly coddling you could bring some negative attention."
"I'd really love for you to go… but it's too much of a risk." I looked down at the table, "I'll do whatever it takes not to let you down." I knew that August was the reason Ramsey wanted so badly to be everywhere I was, that he was the reason I felt smothered a lot of the time. Ramsey had worked hard to train August to be in the real world, but that had still fallen through. As a result, Ramsey was over protective of me.
Once we were finished eating and I was beginning to prepare my things to leave for the school, Ramsey walked from the Blood room and with a light sigh handed me a red file folder. I took it with both of my hands and looked down at it questionably, finally asking: "What is it?" as I turned, set it on the table then opened it. Inside were various types of paperwork: address forms, proof of residence papers, medical sheets, doctor's notes, fake shot records, filled out forms of different types, and several other papers I didn't know the meaning of.
I looked at Ramsey with a raised eyebrow, watching him as he walked over to stand on my right and looked down at the collection of papers before us. "This is everything you'll need for registration, since I won't be there I'm giving it to you." He paused, then after a second continued: "I wanted to go help with registration because there's a lot of lying involved when putting a vampire in public schooling."
I frowned to myself at the realization that I would have to fool a lot of people if I safely wanted to attend high school once again without raising any suspicion. I knew that it was a common thing that all vampires had to do, but it was difficult when the people I was deceiving we my family and close friends.
From the stack of papers in the file, Ramsey pulled out a form from the middle of the stack and brought it to the top for me to look at. From what I read, it was something pertaining to a doctor's diagnosis. "This is the most important thing you've got to sort out when you register because it will save you from being in the sunlight." Ramsey tapped his fingers lightly in the table top and I looked closer to the form, noticing that it had information about me even though I had never actually gone to see a doctor.
"This is a fake form from a hospital where you'll say you had a checkup due to worry of increasing fatigue. The paper goes on to show that you've developed a medical condition that makes you sensitive to sunlight - meaning you can't be in the direct light for more than five or so minutes without feeling dizzy or tired. So this condition gives you an excuse not to take PE class and any other activities dangerous to your health."
"Wow..." I looked at the paper wide eyed saying, "Do you think the school will really buy that? I don't think I've ever heard of someone developing something like that that causes sunlight to make them sick. Not unless they're born with it or something like that." I glanced over to him and he shrugged answering, "If you've got a legitimate doctor's note, the school will believe anything."
I stepped away to gather my things, looking to the clock on the wall to see that the doors of the school were opening soon. After I had finally told Ramsey that I wanted to register, he'd been kind enough to find the time that I needed to arrive to register according to my last name. Since it began with an S, I had to be there at 11:30. Once I had collected my purse, phone, sunglasses, and the red file folder in my hands I stood by the door expecting Ramsey's last lecture.
"Now you know the rules, when you arrive just register for school then come home as fast as you can. Don't go anywhere with anyone or do anything; you promised me when I let you register." He paused and looked to me for some kind of understanding before he continued. I nodded lightly as I stood by the front door of the apartment, trying not to show that I was annoyed by his overprotective ways when I already knew everything he was telling me. "Alright please be careful Nicolette, and don't get into any trouble… You can go now."
I excitedly reached for my car keys in my purse, then turned to the door behind me and unlocked it and opened it with too much haste, making Ramsey sigh lightly in annoyance. I turned back to him with a smile saying, "I'll be fine, stop worrying about me." He offered a small grin as a reply, and I said bye once more as I put on my sunglasses and then I was out the apartment door and down the stairs to the parking lot, feeling the warmth of late August all around me as I made my way to my car parked in front of the building.
The drive to Elle Point high school was only a short seven to eight minute drive, and once I was able to find a parking space to park in I turned off my car and gathered my things slowly, pausing for a second and acknowledging the small pangs of fear in my chest. Of course I was nervous; I had never been alone in a public place like this before filled with humans that all knew me from my old life. Despite the uneasy feeling building I sighed and opened my car door, stepping out into the sun and walking towards the large building to the right of the parking lot.
The registration was held in the cafeteria of the high school, and when I walked down the large walkway to the side doors and pushed through them quietly, the large area was to my left past a set of wooden doors propped open for people to enter. There was a small line of parents and students starting from inside the cafeteria and trailing outside into the hallway and as I pulled my sunglasses from my face I joined the group at the back of the line. I waited quietly as the line inched closer and closer to the check in table until I was inside the cafeteria and was being called to the table.
The woman behind the table smiled as me as she asked my name, then after momentary searching she pulled one paper from a file cabinet to her left and handed it to me. I took it in my left hand as she directed me to the first of a row of tables that I had to visit, and I thanked her before walking forward to the table waiting for me.
From there a woman handed me a large stack of papers for me to fill out, directing me to a collection of round tables in the center of the cafeteria where several people had already taken residence to fill out their own forms. I thanked her and took a seat at an empty table, setting down the stack of forms and then the file folder given to me by Ramsey, opening it to use as a reference. After looking through the folder in detail, I discovered a stack of papers exactly the same as what the woman had handed me, only everything was already filled out and prepared to be handed in. I couldn't decide whether or not to be thankful to Ramsey for filling out the forms for me or annoyed that he had gone that far.
Once I had gone through both forms to make sure everything matched and to check Ramsey's answers to make sure I agreed with them, I rose from the table and collected my things quickly then walked to the table and handed the papers Ramsey had filled out to the woman, keeping the blank stack in the file folder to throw away later. She went through the forms quickly, making sure that everything was filled out correctly, then gave me a smile and pointed me to the next table.
I went through the next tables as quickly as I could, wanting to leave as quickly as I could to avoid the people around me. More and more students we beginning to show up as the time passes, and I could hear them whispering about me to their friends or parents. I had no idea what to expect as far as rumors when it came to my sudden absence last year, but I could only imagine what people had come up with to tarnish my reputation.
I arrived at the immunization table and handed my shot record that Ramsey had included in the file folder, then was given a paper to fill out concerning health issues that could compromise my ability to learn or participate in school activities. This paper as well was in the file folder, and when the school nurse behind the table wasn't looking I swapped the two papers quickly also grabbing the fake doctors note. I handed the papers back with a smile then moved on.
The next table handed out the school handbook which I took despite the fact that It would only be set down somewhere in my room never to be picked up. Then was the school nutrition table which handed out lunch menus and forms for reduced lunches, and the table to pay of fines for lost or missing textbooks. I skipped past both of them, knowing that I wouldn't eat the school lunch often and that all my textbooks had been in my locker when I'd been bitten, meaning that the school must have gotten them.
At last I reached the transportation table, and after filling out a small form I received my parking permit enabling me to park on the schools property. Without it the school would make me park elsewhere, so I calmly obeyed and took the red piece of plastic to hand on my rearview mirror. Once I was finished at the table I reached the very last stop, the check out table. The man sitting behind the table took my name, then after a second of searching he highlighted it on a long list of names then told me to have a good day with a smile. I grinned back politely and turned to leave the cafeteria, walking past all the tables to the entrance of the large room, into the hallway and towards the doors.
"Nicolette!" I heard being screamed loudly, the sound echoing throughout the hallway halfway filled with parents and students waiting to register. I pulled my hand from the door and began to turn around to see who was yelling, though I was quickly attacked by whoever had been yelling my name.
I could feel Lori's arms around me tightly as I stood in place, uncomfortable with being so close to a human. Ali jogged towards us with a smile on her face saying, "We weren't sure if you would come or not." I laughed at them awkwardly as I remained as stationary as I could, "Both of your last names aren't even close to S, why are you guys here?"
I gave a relieved sigh when Lori released me and stepped back to answer with a grin, happy that they were a few inches from me. I knew they were my best friends, and that I would need to get used to people touching me again, but it was still so early for all of that. "Well we wanted to see-" Lori began to say but paused suddenly, her brown eyes squinting at she looked into mine. I didn't understand what was so interesting about me until I realized this was the first time they had seen me as a vampire without sunglasses on.
"Your eyes changed colors…" she announced, frowning in confusion as she looked back at Ali and asked if she could see it. Both girls agreed that they had changed and immediately gave me a questioning look. I'd become so used to the new electric blue color of my eyes that I hadn't even remembered that they used to be a green color. Now that I was standing here on the spot, I scrambled to give a reply to their probing.
"Um… I got colored contacts when I was living in New York," I looked back and forth between them hoping that they would believe my makeshift lie. "I don't remember you having bed vision…" Ali replied, her eyebrows scrunching up as she looked to Lori for agreement. I stepped forward nervously, raising a hand and interrupting Lori before she had the chance to agree. "I, uh, my eyes were never that bad, but I decided that I wanted to see more clearly so I got the contacts." I laughed as I finished my sentence, a tense underlying tone noticeable only to me as I waited for them to show signs of believing me.
"I guess that makes sense," Ali shrugged as both girls looked to each other with puzzled looks. They both new that I had never really given any thought to needing anything to improve my vision, and as strange as it made me look to say that I now had contacts I knew it was the only way to prevent further curiosity. "Well Ali's already registered, and I don't have to be here for another hour," Lori voiced quickly once they had settled the case of my new eye color. "I drove my car here, so let's go somewhere until it's time." She grinned at me, and I smiled back though Ramsey's words entered my mind once I realized that she was suggesting something I had specifically promised I wouldn't do.
"I'd love to but I have to get going," I answered awkwardly, my eyes falling to the ground below us as because I could imagine the look of disappointment both of them must've had. "I have a lot of things I have to get done…" Once I felt confident enough to look back at them, my eyes slowly slipped from the ground and the view of their shoes to their faces, just as discouraged as I'd predicted they would be. I didn't like having to separate myself from them once again, but without promising Ramsey that I would have no social life while in high school I wouldn't even be here now.
"Well okay…" Lori replied with a hopeless smile, "See you at school." I cringed at the disguised harshness of her voice, not liking that she'd already figured out I wouldn't be able to see them until the first day of school, not as long as I kept my promise to Ramsey. Despite the pain in my chest from having to be some indifferent to them I said my goodbyes quickly and was off in a matter of minutes, deepening even more the rift between me and my best friends.