To the Death

Arriving back at Bobby’s salvage yard, Dean retrieved Kacey’s body from the back seat of the Impala and carried her carefully up to her room. Laying her on the bed, Dean pushed a few stray hairs out of her face and kissed her gently on the forehead.

Heading back downstairs, Dean took the tumbler of whiskey that Bobby was holding out to him and took a seat beside Sam on the sofa. Nobody spoke for what felt like hours and Dean thought that the silence would be welcomed, but he quickly found that it was worse.

“We need to salt and burn her body,” Shane said as he walked in with John.

“We’re not doing that,” Dean replied without looking up, “She’s being buried here on Bobby’s land.”

“That’s not what she’d want,” Shane argued.

“How the hell would you know what she wanted?” Dean snapped, “You left her, knowing that the ritual she did would kill her and now you want to start acting like a dad.”

“It was her choice.”

“She didn’t have a choice, or at least she didn’t think she did,” Dean added, “You know, all she wanted to do was protect the people she loved and now she’s gone.”

Dean stared at the half empty glass in his hand and launched it across the room, before storming out. Heading outside, Dean leant against his Impala and closed his eyes trying to get his emotions under control.

Giving himself time to calm down, Dean made his way back inside and found Sam sitting alone with a disk in his hands.

“Kacey gave this to me, before we left for Lawrence,” Sam mumbled as Dean sat down beside him, “With everything that’s happened I forgot I had it.”

“Put it on,” Dean replied, looking at the rosary Sam handed him and wrapping it around his hand.

Opening his laptop, Sam put the DVD in and waited for it to load before pressing play. As soon as Kacey appeared on the screen, Dean couldn’t help smiling and tightened his hold on the ivory cross that sat against his palm.

‘Hey,’ Kacey stated, shifting uncomfortably in front of the camera, ‘To be honest… I don’t know what to say. I guess the first thing I want to make clear is that this wasn’t your fault, there was nothing you could do and I knew that from the beginning.’

Dean lowered his head, before looking back at Kacey on the screen and listening as she continued.

‘Sam… I know that sometimes you question the job you do and I understand the frustration that you feel, but you do make a big difference to the lives of the people you help.’

Glancing over at Sam, Dean could see the tears shimmering in his eyes and swallowed down the lump in his throat as they fell down his little brother’s cheek.

‘That just leaves you, Dean… there’s so much that I want you to know, but I guess three words sum up most of it… I love you. You’re something else, Superman,’ Kacey said, chuckling and taking a deep breath, ‘Keeping fighting because although it’s hard, it’s worth it in the end… goodbye.’

Swiping at the tears that now fell, Dean stared at the rosary in his hand and nodded. Making his way out to the yard, Dean entered the garage and joined Bobby at his worktable where he was assembling a coffin.

It was an hour before it was finished and they carried it into the house, laying it on the kitchen table. Climbing the stairs, Dean went into the bedroom where he’d left Kacey and sat down on the bed.

“It’s time,” Dean mumbled, stroking Kacey’s cheek and looking back to see Sam standing in the doorway, “Do it.”

Approaching the bed silently, Sam placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder to remind him he wasn’t alone and then gently lifted Kacey. Dean stared at the bed as Sam left the room, waiting until Sam called up to say they were ready and headed downstairs.

The burial was done quickly and in silence, nobody knowing what to say. Once they had filled in the grave, Bobby placed a few small pieces of rock down as a marker and hung a rosary on them for protection.

It wasn’t long before the sun was setting and Dean stood with Sam, both staring at Kacey’s final resting place in the ground. Crouching down, Dean placed his hand on the disturbed mud and closed his eyes against the emotions that surged through him.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Walking away, Dean waved at Bobby before climbing into the Impala and attaching the rosary that Kacey gave him to the rear-view mirror. As Sam joined him, Dean looked over at his brother and with a nod hit the road.

Dean didn’t know what the future was going to look like, all he knew was that Kacey wasn’t going to be in it and that was hard for him to accept. He had finally allowed himself to love, allowed his emotions to rule for the first time since his mum died and at the same time he had lost the person he wanted to be with… the only person he’d ever want to be with.