Thou Shalt Not

I sat quietly on my bed with my phone up to my ear waiting for my boyfriend of seven years to finish snorting his sixth line in an hour so he could continue to tell me what a horrible girlfriend I was.

"You just left me here in L.A.!" He would scream. "I didn't leave you. I'm working." I would say back to him. "Putting makeup on is not working. Why can't you get a real job? And a real job here, at home, in L.A.!" He would scream some more. "It is a job. I get paid. I even get health benefits. Are you bringing any of those two things to the table, Gunner?" I would ask him. "Why do you have to be such a bitch, Lacie?" He would mock me. "You know I work real hard to get the band gigs. I do tattoos on off days for extra cash. You make it sound like I don't do anything." He would say as he snorted whichever pill he liked the best this week.

I stared down at the small flower tattoo on the side of my heel, the matching one I had done with my best friend, Crystal, that Gunner had done himself. They were pretty. Gunner was a great tattoo artist but an even better pillhead. He had big dreams of being a rockstar but it was never going to happen. Him and his band had only ever played at bars he knew the owners of. He lived in a sad state of denial.

"But I do, Lacie. I do." He said as he finished up number-whatever pill. "Okay, Gunner. Okay." I sighed. He went onto mumble a few things before he ended up falling asleep on the line. I frowned and ended the call. I let out a frustrated breath and called my best friend, desperately seeking the sound of something normal.

"Hey, boo," Crystal's friendly voice flooded the line. "Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, trying to hide the sound of the dump I was in. "Wondering what's wrong with you. Spill it." Crystal said and I let out a chuckle before I went into detail about the phone call with Gunner. She could tell something was wrong even when I tried to hide it.

"What a douchebag," Crystal huffed. "He's been over a few times this week wanting money." Crystal inaudibly shrugged. "Did you give it to him?" I asked, wondering if he had money to eat on, to buy things he really needed. Why did I even care? "Hell no. I told him if he was hungry, he could raid my fridge or I'd have one of the maids go grocery shopping for him. I'm not dumb. I know what he wants it for." Crystal said. "I know you're not. Thanks," I smiled faintly. "Don't thank me. I'm doing what you'd do for me." Crystal said. "Tom would never behave like this." I scoffed.

Crystal was a well-known socialite in Los Angeles. She had partied with the best and rubbed elbows with the famous on a nightly basis. A regular invitee to the Playboy Mansion, Crystal had managed to snag her one hell of a guy. She was dating the actor Tom Hardy and don't think she let you forget that the gorgeous Brit was her one-and-only. Tom was a wonderful friend to me and an amazing boyfriend to Crystal. She had it all and I had to admit I was little envious but she was my best friend and if anyone was going to have a fabulous life, I'd want it to be her. She had shared her wealth plenty of times and I had partied with her a lot, getting into nightclubs and restaurants I wouldn't have been allowed access had I been by myself.

And reflecting on our friendship, I realized how lonely I was here. I got along with everyone, sure, but there were cliques as most places have. The actors kind of stuck with the actors, production with production, stylists with the stylists, that sort of thing... I didn't much care to hang out with my fellow artists. There was a gay guy, Justin, who was pretty cool but the others, I didn't know... They didn't have much of a personality or maybe it was mine ran over top of them?

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Crystal asked. "Same thing I do every Friday. Go to work, come home, drink wine in my pajamas and watch YouTube. Thanks for reminding me." I scoffed with a roll of my eyes as I laid back on my bed. Crystal fell into a fit of laughter before speaking, "No, Tom is free this weekend and I need out of here. We are coming to visit." Crystal said as-a-matter-of-factly. "What did you do?" I asked, thinking the only reason Crystal needed out of Los Angeles was because a little shit hit the fan. "Nothing. Not this time. I can tell you need your best friend." Crystal said. "That I do. I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled, excited to see her and Tom.

"Lace, for tonight go have a glass of wine somewhere other than your bedroom and get out of your head. Stop thinking about Gunner and think about tomorrow! You get to see me!" Crystal squealed. I laughed and agreed that I would go have one glass of wine somewhere outside of my rental. This whole hermit-crab thing didn't seem very healthy.

~*~

I chose a corner bar in town that lit up the sidewalk with all of the neon signs in the windows. It was the first interesting place I seen and it was already ten-thirty. I had to be on set at six a.m. so one glass it was as I swung the door open and stepped inside.

I spotted an empty spot at the bar and quickly claimed the space. I shrugged out of my coat and threw it over the back of my stool. "What can I get you?" The friendly-faced bartender asked as she wiped the bartop with a white rag. "A glass of berry Sangria, please." I smiled and pulled my phone out of my pocket, vibrating already in my hands.

GUNNER: u hung up on me
ME: No, I didn't. You fell asleep.
GUNNER: jus 4 a sec
ME: I wasn't going to wait on the line while you were passed out.
GUNNER: i didnt pass out
ME: Ok.
GUNNER: wut is ur prob???

I let out an aggravated sigh before responding with a generic "I'm tired," and tossed my phone onto the bar seconds before the bartender set my wine in front of me. "Thank you," I said politely before putting the glass to my mouth and taking a large gulp of the sweet juice.

My phone continued to vibrate against the wood of the bar and it didn't take much for me to let out an aggravated sigh before I grabbed my phone and turned it off completely. I hated when he got like this. He was higher than shit and paranoid more than normal. He'd been doing pills all day and this was what happened when he went on a weekend binge.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the stool next to me scraping against the floor as it was being pulled out. As lost as I was, I didn't even notice the person now sitting beside me was looking at me. I swirled my finger absentmindedly around the rim of my glass, caught in a daze when the bartender cleared her throat loudly. Broken from my trance, I looked up at her who nodded conspiciously to my right.

I turned my head slowly to only be met by the brightest blue eyes I had ever, well, laid eyes on. Only I had before... "What could you possibly be thinking about that hard?" His chuckle and Irish accent slid over my skin like slick velvet. It was one of the guys from the show I worked on, Colin O'Donoghue. I had ran into several times and we had always been friendly but I don't think I had ever been this close to him. His cologne wafted up my nose and I fought the urge to close my eyes and revel in it. It was intoxicating, his scent.

I shook my head. "It's nothing, really. Just some drama back home." I rolled my eyes and let out a chuckle. "Drama does tend to follow, doesn't it?" He smiled. "You have no idea." I said and took a sip of my wine. "Trust me, I do." He said and drummed his fingers on the bartop.

"So, what brings you out on a Thursday night? Are you here by yourself?" I asked, a little nervous ramble slipping out. He smiled, "Isn't that my line? Or aren't they both my lines rather?" I chuckled and watched as he threw the contents of his whiskey glass back into his throat with perfection. I bit my lip as I watched his adam's apple bob slightly down and then back up his throat. Jesus, what was wrong with me? I turned away, afraid he'd see me watching him.

"I'm actually here with a friend. You remember Sean, don't you?" He asked and pointed towards the back of the bar. I followed his point and smiled when I met Sean's gaze. He was climbing out of the booth with an extremely wide smile on his face. "Yeah, I remember." I said as Sean pulled on his coat and chatted for several seconds with a few of the patrons in his vicinity. "We stopped for a couple drinks. Should have known better with an early morning," Colin scoffed with a chuckle. "Oh, I know. I've got to be on set at six." I shrugged and finished my wine off.

"That is pretty early. I bet you've got your work cut out for you with Robert, haven't you?" Colin asked as he snickered and nodded at something Sean must have said. "Yes, I do. He's a handful. We've gotten a routine down when it comes to makeup and all that but he's still so goofy and at times highly inappropriate." I laughed out loud. I had started working makeup for the show when I was temporarily filling in for a woman who went on maternity leave. She had been Robert Carlyle's makeup artist since shot number one so I had been nervous starting but Robert welcomed me with widely open arms. "Yes, that'd be Robert. I could only imagine what sort of things he says to you." Colin laughed, implying something I wasn't quite sure of.

"To me?" I laughed, turning my body in my stool slightly towards his involuntaringly. We looked at each other for a brief second before Sean appeared behind us. "You ready, mate? We've got an early morning, yeah?" Sean asked, a shit-eating grin on his face. "I've got to get going, too." I said as I hopped down from the stool and pulled my jacket on. "You think you'll do anything tomorrow night?" Colin asked, his voice slightly higher than what it had been earlier.

"Um, yeah, actually. My best friend from L.A. and her boyfriend are flying in for the weekend so we'll get into something." I smiled as I buttoned up my coat and grabbed my phone from the bar and slipped into the back of my jeans. "Well a bunch of us will be at Guilt & Company around nine, if you're interested." Colin said casually. "If you and you're friends are interested, I mean, in hanging out." He quickly corrected himself.

"Sounds cool. Maybe we'll see you later." I smiled and went to open my clutch to pay for my wine but Colin stopped me. His arm reached across the bar and his hand rested on the top of mine. Sharp, static electric zaps shot through my fingers and quickly traveled to my stomach. Afraid, I pulled away first. "I got it. I'll see you tomorrow." Colin's smile fell to the side of his mouth as he stood up and pulled out his wallet. I smiled and told him "thank you" before walking out of the bar, trying to keep my cool until I was out of sight.

I grabbed one of the taxis that were outside the bar and gave the cabbie my address. "What the hell was that?" I asked myself quietly. What just happened back there? Did he ask me out? Or try to? Maybe I was reading too much into this... But why did I feel whatever that was when he touched me? Why did he mesmerize me when I was watching him finish off his whiskey? I shook my head, attempting to clear out the jumble.

The ride home was a short one, arriving at my stop with a sharp halt. I paid the cabbie the fare and climbed out. I walked carefully over the freshly fallen snow and let myself into the house. It was no surprise all the lights were off and everyone was already in bed. I carefully stepped by memory until I got to my bedroom, thankful for an adjoining en suite. I dressed for bed and climbed underneath the covers.

I wasn't surprised when I tossed and turn. My head was a mess. I was thinking of Gunner and our tumultuous relationship, Crystal and Tom's visit tomorrow and I was thinking of my brief encounter with Colin. I had saw him before, talked to him before - why was this any different? Maybe because he asked me to hang out and paid for my drink?

He was just being friendly. I needed to stop trying to read into something when it obviously wasn't there. I had a boyfriend and I needed to start behaving as such. Whatever it was I was feeling when Colin was around me was an automatic response towards the lack of attention I've gotten from a male. That's it.

I let out a deep, aggravated breath and tossed to my side once more. I was soon able to shut off my brain long enough to end up falling asleep and it was a good thing, too. Morning always came early.