Music and Passion

"Thank you everyone!" I yelled into the microphone before exiting the stage with the rest of Before Dawn. Tonight`s show was amazing. We got to close the show for the first time and it was so much fun.

We made our way to our dressing room where Buck-Tick and Dir En Grey were waiting for us. They all congradulated us and gave us hugs. Well, all except for Kyo who hung back from the rest of us with a blank expression on his face. I guess I really pissed him off.

"You did good," Toll said while giving me a hug.

"Thanks," I said with a slight blush.

"You should close the show more often," Shinya suggested.

"It was a lot of fun," Jeff laughed.

"We should celebrate," Die suggested.

"Drinks and dinner?" Keith asked.

"Sounds good to us," Toshiya said.

"Us too," Hidehiko agreed.

"Let`s all get cleaned up and then we`ll go," Jeff nodded.

"We`ll leave you to it," Toll chuckled.

I followed the rest of my band into our room and quickly changed clothes. We get to stay at a hotel tonight so I get to soak in the tub later instead of using a crappy arena shower. I gotta say, performing almost every night really takes a toll on your body. I`ll soak in a tub every chance I get. After a few months on tour you start craving a long soak to sooth your aches and pains.

We all packed up our things and started leaving the dressing room. Unfortunately I was hit with a wave of nausa before I could even make it out of the door. I bolted for the bathroom and somehow made it in time to throw up in the toilet. I didn`t realize I was followed until I felt someone pulling my hair up and rubbing my back. When I was finally done puking my guts out I realized it was Yutaka who followed me.

"I`m sorry," Yutaka murmured while rubbing my back.

I shrugged, "It happens. I probably moved too much on stage for her."

"Her?" He questioned.

"Yeah," I blushed. "I um. I think it might be a girl."

He chuckled. "Wanna know a secret? We`re all taking bets on what it`s going to be."

I snickered. Of course they were. I should of known. "What are you betting on?"

"A girl," He answered with a grin.

"Are you just saying that because I did?"

"Of course not!"

I laughed at his disbelieving expression. It was so over dramatic it was comical. Oh how I love Yutaka. I swear he can make me laugh doing just about anything. Especially with those silly expressions of his.

"Everything alright?"

I glanced up at the door to see Hidehiko standing in it. "I`m good. Just a little morning sickness. Erm, night sickness."

"Are you sure?" Hidehiko asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. I`m good."

He nodded. "Alright. Ready to go eat?"

"I think so," I replied while slowly getting up.

"Let`s go then," Yutaka said with a grin.

We were able to leave without a fuss after that and went to a cute little Italian restaurant. Thankfully my stomach had settled and the baby didn`t seem to mind my choice of dinner. How we found such a good place at almost midnight is beyond me. Usually nothing but fast food is open so late.

"You`re so lucky," I mumbled while watching Atsushi sip a glass of wine.

"You like wine?" Atsushi asked.

"A little," I admitted. "Some every once in a while is enough for me."

"I would offer you some but...." He trailed off with a little chuckle.

I waved him off, "It`s fine. You can treat me after the pregnancy."

He smirked, "I`d be glad to."

Kyo rolled his eyes and let out a barely audible scoff. Oh not this again. He`s been like this since everyone found out I`m pregnant. I can`t goof off or do anything without a scoff or an eye roll. And I admit that after my talk with Amber two weeks ago, things have started making sense concerning his actions. But I`m getting tired of it. A person can only take so much.

I took a deep breath and stood up. Now or never. "Kyo? May I speak with you outside?"

He glared at me and said something in Japanese that I hadn`t learned yet. But by the look on Shinya`s face it was bad. Very bad.

Hidehiko rose from his seat and fixed Kyo with a glare. He quickly started in on Kyo in Japanese. I only caught a few words but from what I did catch I knew he was lecturing him and really laying into him. I even caught a few cuss words. One of them even made Yutaka blush. By the time he was done talking Kyo had practical shrunk back and was staring up at him in shock.

After a few minutes of silence Kyo finally rose from his seat, motioned for me to follow him and left the restaurant. I thanked Hidehiko and slowly walked outside. I found Kyo leaning against the building with a sour look on his face.

"Can we talk now?" I asked as I leaned against the building. When I only got a nod I decided to start first. "I don`t know what I did to piss you off but I`m sorry, Kyo. I really want my friend back. I miss our lessions. I miss your dark humor. And I miss our late night talks. Can we ever be friends again?"

Kyo sighed and looked over at me, "You really don`t know why I`m mad, do you?"

"No," I admitted.

"You didn`t tell us anything. What if one of us did something and it hurt you? Or it hurt the baby?" He asked. "We wouldn`t be able to live with ourselves."

"That`s why your angry? Because I didn`t tell you I was pregnant?"

"Yes! Damn it, woman. Do you have any idea how much we care for you?"

I frowned and looked at the ground. "Of course I do," I whispered. "I have friends volunteering to be fathers. Do you have any idea how grateful I am?"

"Then why didn`t you tell us?" Kyo pressed.

"Because I didn`t want to be treated differently! I didn`t want any of you to see me as the little pregnant girl who couldnt do anything for herself," I confessed. "I wanted to be taken seriously."

"Why wouldn`t we take you seriously?" He asked.

I groaned, "I don`t know."

He frowned and moved closer. "We would of taken you seriously no matter your condition."

"See! That`s what I mean. And please don`t start calling it that. It`s a pregnancy. I`m not sick.'"

"Fine, fine. Pregnancy it is."

I nodded. "Thank you. So, can we please try and be friends again?"

Kyo nodded slowly. "Only if you start being honest with me. I don`t like liars."

"Of course. Completely honest from here on out," I agreed.

He smirked. "Good. So, boy or girl?"

I laughed, "Don`t tell me you`re betting too!"

"I`m curious," He muttered.

"Kyo!" I laughed. He smirked and leaned against me. "It`s good to have you back. I was going nuts not having you there."

"Me too," He breathed. "Me too."