Music and Passion

Kyo`s head snapped up and a look that could only be described as shock crossed his features. "I..."

"Kyo," I breathed. "Please be honest with me."

He cleared his throat and looked anywhere but me. "In....what way?"

"You know exactly what way."

"Be more specific."

I resisted the urge to growl at him. He was starting to piss me off. "I mean, if I wasn`t pregnant, would you date me?"

Once again, Kyo looked shocked. "What makes you think you being pregnant has anything to do with my feelings?"

"Everything?" I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Pregnant or not, I do like you, Sam," Kyo insisted. "The pregnancy doesn`t matter."

"So my kid doesn`t matter?" I hissed. "Do I matter so little as well?"

He groaned. "That`s not what I meant and you know it!"

"Then what did you mean?"

"If you were pregnant or not, it doesn`t matter because having a kid doesn`t change my fucking feelings about you!"

"And what are those feelings?"

"I like you," Kyo sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and muttered, "Fuck. I like you, Sam. And not as a friend."

"And the pregnancy doesn`t bother you?" I hesitantly asked.

"Not really," He answered with a little shrug.

I let out a chuckle, my eyes beginning to water. "I guess that works out then. My fans already think I`m having your kid."

"What?!"

"A fan posted a picture of us looking at a baby book. It was the night I was trying to gross you out. After we finally announced my pregnancy the picture spread like wild fire and everyone assumed it was your doing."

Kyo scrunched up his nose and made a noise akin to a gagging sound. "Your fans are fucking crazy."

I chuckled, "That they are. So, where does this leave us?"

He shrugged. "What do you want? You`re the one with a kid to think about. Do you really want someone like me in their life?"

"Yes. Why wouldn`t I?" I asked. Kyo wasn`t a bad person. A little crazy and short tempered at times but he wasn`t a bad person.

Again he shrugged with a frown. "Guess I never thought of myself as father material."

Now it was my turn to frown. "Kyo, I`m not asking you to be my kid`s father. I`m not even asking you to be my boyfriend. For all we know, we`re better off as friends."

"And if I don`t want to be just friends?"

"Then do something about it!"

Kyo took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright. But how do I know this is all genuine? What if this is just the drugs talking and after you get out of here you change your mind?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This man. "Then ask me again when I`m out. But I`m not going to change my mind, Kyo. And something tells me you won`t either."

"Probably not," He chuckled. "So, when you get out of here and if you haven`t changed your mind, would you like to go out on a date?"

I grinned. "I would love that."

"Alright. After you get out then."

"Then it`s settled."

"I`ll be looking forward to it," Kyo said with a slight grin.

"So will I," I murmured. "Now, can you do me a huge favor and find me some food?"

The next morning I was released from the hospital with two bottles of vitamins and a warning from my doctor to stay hydrated and relax as much as possible. I agreed but made no promises when it came to my stress. I would try not to stress out and stay relaxed, but with being on tour and with how drama filled my life had become, it was kind of hard not to stress. I would try though. Really, I would.

For two days my band hardly let me out of their sight. I appreciated their concern. I did. Trully. But I was going crazy. Jeff tried to follow me to the bathroom. In our own bus! They were seriously going overboard and if I didn`t get out of there soon I was going to start threatening to kill people and start throwing things. Even Nikki was pissing me off.

Thankfully on the third day I was plucked from my bus by Shinya. Somehow he talked my band into letting me stay a couple days with him and the rest of Dir En Grey. And according to Kaoru, Yutaka and Atsushi are going to try and get me next so I don`t have my band hovering over me. It`s so sweet how they`re trying to keep my from killing my own band. Huh, there`s something I never thought I`d say.

My night with Dir En Grey was exactly what I needed and I couldn`t wait to stay with Buck-Tick. So far Iv`e grabbed burgers with Kaoru and Toshiya for dinner, shared part of a chocolate cake with Die and managed to curl up between Shinya and Kyo to watch movies. Aren`t we such rockstars?

Despite all the time I got to spend with them I never got proper alone time with Kyo so we could talk about my night in the hospital. Part of me wonders if he`ll even talk to me about it. Maybe he`ll tell me to forget about it. That he changed his mind. And then the other part of me hopes he will talk to me about it. That he`ll tell me he wants to try and date me. That he`ll keep his word from that night. But getting your hopes high normally ends with them being crushed, doesn`t it? So by the time we were all getting ready for bed I gave up.

I had just changed into my night clothes, which were really just one of Nikki`s old baggy shirts and my new favorite underwear thanks to Dita Von Teese including maternity in her lingerie line, when there was a knock on the door. I stared at it for a second with a raised eyebrow before quickly shuffling under the covers and called for whoever it was to "come in" after I got comfortable.

Much to my surprise Kyo walked into the little room and gently shut the door behind him. He looked nervous. It`s odd how much Iv`e been seeing that lately.

"Hey, Kyo. Is everything okay?" I questioned gently.

He took a deep breath before he spoke, "Yeah. I just uh, wanted to talk to you about that night."

"About the night in the hospital?" I hedged.

"Yeah."

"Then lets talk."

He looked even more nervous now, if that`s possible. He hesitated just long enough for it to be noticeable before walking over to me and slowly sitting across from me on the bed. Once again he cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair.

"You don`t have to be so nervous," I murmured.

"So you haven`t changed your mind?" Kyo asked slowly.

I shook my head, "Nope. I still feel the same way and I still want the same thing. How about you? Have you changed your mind?"

"No. I still feel the same way," He confessed. "And I still have worries."

"Alright. Are your fears the same as they were?" I asked.

"A bit."

"Do you still insist that you aren`t father material?"

"Yes."

I nodded and let out a little huff. "Then I will continue to insist that I`m not asking you to be a father. Nor am I asking you to be my boyfriend. However, I am asking for a chance: one date to see if there is even a possibility of us."

Kyo nodded slowly and let out a breath and visibly relaxed, even if it was only a little bit. "I can do that. A date sounds nice. When would you like to go out?"

"We should have a day off next week. We can do it then," I suggested.

"Alright. Next week it is then."