Knock Me Down
Candace: An Introduction
“Stop, Dean that tickles!” I shouted through giggles, trying to squirm my way out of Dean’s grasp. He pulled me into him on the bed and kissed my forehead. I snuggled into him, looking around his broken down bachelor pad apartment. The hideous mustard yellow wallpaper was peeling around the edges where Dean punched a hole through the wall one day last year, right beside the place where his dresser sat, a mirror on top of it leaning against the wall. It wasn’t much, but neither of us had much. We had only gotten a few hundred bucks from Ivy’s wallet. We tested her credit card out once, against our better judgment, but they had been cut off from access. Dean was madder than I was, but I knew my brother hadn’t actually killed Ivy so there was a weight off of my shoulders. I didn’t know murder was part of the plan that night any more than Hunter did, but Dean always did what he had to do and Ivy’s family had messed up.
When I met Dean he was 17 and I was 13, we hadn’t liked each other intimately right away, that part was more gradual as we got older. His parents abandoned him when he was 8, whereas mine split when I was 3 and left me to deal with Jackson, Hunter’s dad. My mom was an on and off drug addict who cheated on Hunter’s dad with mine and ended up with me, the baby nobody wanted. They took off to be together which resulted in Jackson’s hatred towards me since I was a walking, talking, breathing reminder of his wife’s infidelity.
That’s how I ended up here crashing at Dean’s place for the last year. I was supposed to find a job but they were few and far between and there was always somebody more experienced than me who got the job. It was September now though and that meant I needed to find a job by the end of the month or my year with Dean would be up for good. He let me stay because he loved me, but he made it clear that eventually I would need to start chipping in for my half of the rent. I was hoping that Ivy’s wallet would clear all of our money troubles and take the pressure off, but she was smart about the amount of cash she carried around with her.
“Babe, the gang’s gotta do a run tonight.” I slumped my shoulders. I knew that Dean had to do what Dean had to do but it didn’t mean I liked it. I hated it when the gang did runs, especially after involving my brother for the first time a couple months ago, but we needed the money and they only robbed rich snooty people anyway. It’s not like they were completely heartless to rob someone who didn’t have much to begin with. That’s what I told myself anyway. Besides, Dean’s job at Honda only covered so much since he had to give some to pitch in for weapons and drugs as well as rent. I barely asked about the specifics of what they did, but after helping them out a couple times now, and only when they were desperate, I had a good idea of how all their runs went down.
“Be safe and please don’t kill anyone.” I whispered into his chest. It was weird that asking somebody to spare a life was a genuine request coming out of my mouth. I had given a lot of thought to the lives of other people recently. It all seemed so temporary and so easily taken away. Sometimes I wondered what the point of fighting to survive was.
Dean got up, throwing on a shirt and some jeans before leaving. He did this often, leaving without telling me where he was going or saying anything at all when he left. I think he thought it was because I was so understanding, but I wasn’t. It pissed me off. I lay on the bed naked, debating on whether or not to put clothes on and start my day of job hunting. There hadn’t been any indeed updates online yet, but it was worth a shot to try and deliver resumes in person. I always hated that though. Discrimination may be illegal but that didn’t stop people from asking me what ethnicity I was. It was frustrating to me how people cared so much. I always mumbled that I was half German, half some type of Native, a tribe I would never know about, and walked away before they could respond. It’s not like I knew much about where I came from since both of my biological parents left me and Jackson never bothered to sit me down and explain it to me. It also felt confusing to me to carry around the weight of my ancestors but never fully know which ones they were.
Nevertheless, I got myself out of the bed, the clock reading 2 p.m., and got dressed. Today I was going to find a job because I loved Dean and I wanted him to keep loving me back. If that wasn’t motivation enough, I didn’t know what was.
When I met Dean he was 17 and I was 13, we hadn’t liked each other intimately right away, that part was more gradual as we got older. His parents abandoned him when he was 8, whereas mine split when I was 3 and left me to deal with Jackson, Hunter’s dad. My mom was an on and off drug addict who cheated on Hunter’s dad with mine and ended up with me, the baby nobody wanted. They took off to be together which resulted in Jackson’s hatred towards me since I was a walking, talking, breathing reminder of his wife’s infidelity.
That’s how I ended up here crashing at Dean’s place for the last year. I was supposed to find a job but they were few and far between and there was always somebody more experienced than me who got the job. It was September now though and that meant I needed to find a job by the end of the month or my year with Dean would be up for good. He let me stay because he loved me, but he made it clear that eventually I would need to start chipping in for my half of the rent. I was hoping that Ivy’s wallet would clear all of our money troubles and take the pressure off, but she was smart about the amount of cash she carried around with her.
“Babe, the gang’s gotta do a run tonight.” I slumped my shoulders. I knew that Dean had to do what Dean had to do but it didn’t mean I liked it. I hated it when the gang did runs, especially after involving my brother for the first time a couple months ago, but we needed the money and they only robbed rich snooty people anyway. It’s not like they were completely heartless to rob someone who didn’t have much to begin with. That’s what I told myself anyway. Besides, Dean’s job at Honda only covered so much since he had to give some to pitch in for weapons and drugs as well as rent. I barely asked about the specifics of what they did, but after helping them out a couple times now, and only when they were desperate, I had a good idea of how all their runs went down.
“Be safe and please don’t kill anyone.” I whispered into his chest. It was weird that asking somebody to spare a life was a genuine request coming out of my mouth. I had given a lot of thought to the lives of other people recently. It all seemed so temporary and so easily taken away. Sometimes I wondered what the point of fighting to survive was.
Dean got up, throwing on a shirt and some jeans before leaving. He did this often, leaving without telling me where he was going or saying anything at all when he left. I think he thought it was because I was so understanding, but I wasn’t. It pissed me off. I lay on the bed naked, debating on whether or not to put clothes on and start my day of job hunting. There hadn’t been any indeed updates online yet, but it was worth a shot to try and deliver resumes in person. I always hated that though. Discrimination may be illegal but that didn’t stop people from asking me what ethnicity I was. It was frustrating to me how people cared so much. I always mumbled that I was half German, half some type of Native, a tribe I would never know about, and walked away before they could respond. It’s not like I knew much about where I came from since both of my biological parents left me and Jackson never bothered to sit me down and explain it to me. It also felt confusing to me to carry around the weight of my ancestors but never fully know which ones they were.
Nevertheless, I got myself out of the bed, the clock reading 2 p.m., and got dressed. Today I was going to find a job because I loved Dean and I wanted him to keep loving me back. If that wasn’t motivation enough, I didn’t know what was.
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Now that introductions are over, I can finally get into this.Comment/subscribe! <3