I Need You

I leaned my head on his chest, closing my eyes, and rested my hand on my leg, still holding my phone. His arm tightened instinctively around me, gently holding me closer to his body. “Do you want to leave?” he asked and gently pressed his lips to my hair.
I shook my head, content to just lie against him as he talked. My phone lit up with a text, washing the two of us in pale, bright light.
Vic: where are you?
Shit. I was supposed to see him tonight, only I was a horrible friend and had completely forgotten. “Why is he messaging you so late?” Oli asked, apparently looking at my phone.
“I was supposed to be at his place an hour ago.
Vic: tell me you’re okay
I was never late, so he was probably very worried. Vic was like that. He constantly worried about everyone, making sure we were all alright.
Kellin: I’m fine Vic, sorry, I forgot
I heard Oli sigh. He got really jealous of Vic, always afraid that I would cheat him.
Vic: oh
Kellin: I’m really sorry
He didn’t text me back, probably hurt that I had forgotten about him. “I’ll be right back,” I said and went to stand up, Oli catching my wrist to stop me. “What? I was just going to call him,” He made a face at me and then rolled his eyes, freeing my wrist.
“Don’t be mad, I’m just calling him,” I said quietly, aware of his friends watching us. “Whatever,” I sighed and walked out to the kitchen, rolling my eyes as one of them pulled out a bag. I knew what it was; drugs.
It didn’t matter what kind they were either, I knew Oli would take it. He always did, and he was always an asshole afterwards.
I pressed Vic’s contact and held my phone to my ear, silently begging him to pick up. “Come on,” I whispered and spun around slowly.
“What?” I tried not to be offended by his tone; I had upset him first. “I’m sorry,” Vic sighed on the other end, probably giving up being mad at me.
“Whatever. You’re with Oli then?” I chewed my lip, reluctant to answer him. They basically hated each other. “Yeah…”
He sighed again. “Well then can you still come over? I don’t want you with him,” he said.
“I don’t know Vic. I—I’m not even close to you right now, it’d be like an hour drive,” I explained. We were actually in the worst part of town; somewhere Vic definitely wouldn’t want me to be.
“Where are you?” he asked. “I’m not sure. You don’t have to get me, Oli will take me home soon anyways,” I said, trying to sound reassuring. “Oh great, let the crack-head drive you home. Real safe Kellin,”
I sighed and leant against the kitchen counter. “He’s high, isn’t he? Right now Kellin, he’s high?” I glanced out at Oli, watching as he bent over the glass coffee table to snort something.
“Um…I don’t know,” I said.
“Don’t you dare lie to me Kellin Quinn.” I pressed my lips, hating that I was such a terrible liar. At least I was to Vic; he always saw right through me.
“Okay, okay. He kind of is, like, not yet, but he will be,” I explained.
“I’m coming to get you. Where are you?” he asked in that determined way of his. “The same place as last time. The really big house on the other side of town,” I heard him pick up his keys and then his front door close.
“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you? I can,” he offered. I could hear his footsteps as he ran down the stairs of his apartment building the way he always did.
“No, you shouldn’t talk and drive,” Vic was always so careful of everyone else; it was himself he never watched out for.
“Okay, I’ll be there in half in hour,” he said and hung up before I could tell him not to speed.
He always drove to quickly when he was coming to pick me up, afraid that something would happen to me. I was the one afraid for him though. I didn’t want him to flip his car trying to get here too fast.
I walked back out of the kitchen and sat down a little farther from Oli than before. “What did fuckface say?” he asked and glared at me.
“Don’t call him that,” His eyes rolled. “What did he say?” I just shook my head, waving him off. “You want some kid, ‘sa last of it,” one of Oli’s douchebag friends asked, pointing the line of cocaine on the table.
I shook my head again and leaned back against the couch. “Aw, come on, it’ll make you feel good,” he said and shot me a sleazy grin.
“Yeah babe, you never do anything with us,” Oli said, leaning over to kiss me. I shied away, not wanting to be touched. It always set me on edge when he used, afraid that I would set him off. He could get aggressive sometimes, especially when he was high.
“Don’t be like that baby,” he mumbled and put his hot hand on my thigh, his lips moving to my neck. He kissed it sloppily, oblivious to how uncomfortable I was.
“Oli, stop, not now,” A couple of his friends booed, apparently enjoying the way he harassed me. “Seriously, stop,” I said and pushed him away.
He made a face and leaned against the end of the couch. “What-fucking-ever Kellin, you’re such a prude,” I rolled my eyes and glanced down at my phone, waiting for Vic to text me.
I tried to ignore Oli and his friends as their highs kicked in, the lot of them getting really obnoxious as the time passed. “Kelly, wanna fuck?” Someone asked, grinning when I looked up.
“My name is Kellin,”
He shrugged and continued to grin at me, his eyes raking over my body. “Like I give a fuck. Do you want to?” I shook my head again. No, I most certainly do not.
“Why not? You’re supposed to be a little whore right?” I glared at him, trying not to start arguing with him. I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere.
“Because I don’t. And no, I am not,” I said. “Pshht, whatever,” My phone lit up again, my heart leaping as I saw the preview form Vic.
Vic: ten minutes
Kellin: ok, don’t text and drive
Vic: at a red light
I stood up and slid my phone into my back pocket. “Where the fuck are you going?” Oli asked and stood up next to me. “I’m leaving, I’m tired. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He shook his head, grabbing my arm again. “No you’re not,” I whimpered at how tightly he was holding onto me and looked at him.
“Oli, you’re hurting. I’m just gonna go home and go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow,” He shook his head, glaring at me. “Please, ow, Oli, please let go,” I said and tried to move his hand.
He finally released his grip on me, glowering as I reached up to kiss him.
“Please be careful driving home, I love you,” He just rolled his eyes and fell back onto the couch.
“Whatever, get out,” he said as I left, his words stinging. He doesn’t mean it; I told myself and walked to the curb, my arms wrapping around myself in the cold.
My jacket was in Oli’s car, which was locked, so I was basically fucked until Vic got here.
I bounced up and down idly, trying to get warm as I waited for him. Hurry up, I thought as my fingers started to go numb. It was about twenty-five degrees, and I was only wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
“Hey baby, you all alone tonight?” A voice asked. I looked around, spotting the guy about five feet away from me. I didn’t acknowledge him, silently praying that he would go away.
“Hey, I’m talking to you,”
I continued to ignore him until he walked up to me, his hand attempting to grab onto my arm as I flinched away.
“Don’t touch me,” I said and moved a little ways away from him. “You tryna come home with me kitten?” I shook my head, moving away from him again.
“Aw, come on, you gotta be freezing. It’s nice and warm at my place,” I shook my head again. “I have a boyfriend,” I said, my relief washing over me as I saw Vic’s car turn the corner.
“Come on honey, don’t be like that,”
I sighed happily as Vic barely pulled to a stop before he was jumping out of his car and running over to me. He glared at the guy and wrapped his arms around me, his warmth like Heaven around my freezing body.
“Get lost,” he said and reached into his pocket, ready to pull out the knife he carried around.
I wouldn’t want to be on the opposite end of that thing either. It had a long, thick blade that curved in two different ways to cut efficiently.
The guy walked off, muttering things as he left. “Are you okay?” Vic asked and let go of me to unzip his jacket. He pulled it off as I nearly shivered to death and held it out for me to slip my arms into.
The fabric was warm from him wearing it and smelled wonderfully like him. “I’m f-fine,” I said and looked into his gorgeous eyes.
“Except that you feel like ice. Where the hell is your jacket?” he asked and led me to his still-running car, the warm air wafting over me.
“In Oli’s car,” I said as he got in. He pulled my neglected seatbelt over me and clicked it into place after doing his own. “It looks like it’s so helpful from there,” he said and started driving.
I smiled a little and shivered pleasantly as the warm air blasted out of the heaters and onto me.
“Yeah, I forgot it, and he locked it,” I watched Vic shake his head. “You’re so irresponsible Kells, you’re going to make me grow prematurely grey,” I laughed and shook my head. “No I’m not, you are. You worry too much,”
He shrugged and reached over to hold my hand as he drove. We always did that. Oli never held my hand unless he was trying to make up after a fight, so Vic did it.
Vic was just an affectionate person, he liked to hold my hand or hug me or play with me hair; sometimes he didn’t even realize he was doing it.
“Did you eat anything?” Vic asked and glanced at me. “Um…yeah, I did,” I said, not entirely lying. I had had a sandwich for lunch.
“Kellin,” he scolded. “Victor,” The corners of his mouth turned up n a little smile at the use of his full name. “Don’t lie to me, when did you eat last?” I chewed my lip, knowing he would be dissatisfied with my answer.
“Kell,” he said softer. “Um, noon, I think?” It was after midnight, so quite a while. “Kellin, oh my god, why didn’t you eat anything?” I shrugged a little. “Oli and I were going to go out to eat, but Jeremy called,” I explained, much to his displeasure. “Oh, so getting wasted was more important than making sure your boyfriend, who recently recovered from an eating disorder, something to eat,” I flinched a little at the mention of my eating disorder. Vic noticed and squeezed my hand apologetically.
“He just forgot,” I said. “Why do you defend him? He should have made sure you had something to eat. He knows about your condition, and that skipping meals can be dangerous,” he said. “Please don’t start, I don’t want to fight with you,” I interrupted his rant.
He pressed his lips together and then sighed. “It just isn’t fair. You are always the one sacrificing things for him. When is he going to start doing the same for you?”
I leaned back against the seat and stared out the window, not bothering to answer him as we neared his apartment. I knew Oli would be pissed, but I would most-likely end up staying at Vic’s until he was sober again.
Vic pulled into a parking space, and stopped the car, sliding the key from the ignition.
“What are you hungry for? We could go get something,” I shook my head. “Don’t spend money on me. I’ll be okay,” I said and got out of the car before he could protest.
I knew he would make me eat something anyways, but that was better than him wasting his money on me.
I followed him inside, and up the stairs to his first-floor apartment, watching him as he unlocked it.
“My duvet is on the couch, go warm up,” he ordered and walked into the kitchen. I obediently went to his plush couch, wrapping his thick, comfy blanket around myself. I smiled as the puffy fabric engulfed my whole body, and deeply breathed in the sweet scent covering the comforter.
“Want ht chocolate?” he called from the kitchen. “Yes please, with marshmallows,” He walked around the half wall of his kitchen to look at me, a large mug in his hand.
“Who in the hell has hot chocolate without marshmallows?” he asked, making me laugh.
“You’re getting leftover lasagna by the way, and you have to eat all of it,” I smiled and nodded as he walked back into his small kitchen.
I listened to him as he banged around, smiling to myself. “Is instant okay? I’m out of milk,” he said. “Yeah, I don’t mind,” I could hear him filling up a pot of water to boil and then put whatever lasagna he had into the oven.
I let the blanket fall and walked out to the kitchen, wrapping my arms around Vic from behind as he stood at the stove. “Thank you for taking care of me,” I said quietly and rested my head against his back, my eyes closing.
“I will always take care of you Kells,” he said back and turned around in my arms.
He held me back and let me rest my head on his shoulder, his sweet-smelling hair tickling my forehead.
We stood there for a while, until the kettle started to shriek. He let me go, quickly pulling it off of the stovetop, and poured some of it into the two mugs waiting on the counter. I watched him stir both of them, before getting out a bag of marshmallows. He ripped it open and then dropped five into each cup, laughing when I popped one into my mouth. “Mm,” I mumbled, chewing the sweet fluff.
He laughed again and did the same, a soft smile on his lips. “Here,” he said and handed me the bag to put away while he got the lasagna out.
I ate four more of them hastily while his back was turned. “Stop eating them and put them away,” he said as he set the pan on the stove.
“’Mm not eeden dem,” I mumbled and put them into the cabinet as I tried to chew the sugary mass. “Uh huh, sure,” I grinned at him and continued to chew, my jaw working overtime.
He laughed at me struggling to chew all of them and set my lasagna on a plate. “See, that’s what you get,” he said. “Dey ‘oo fuffy,” I garbled and chewed harder before swallowing a lump. I gasped and swallowed the rest of them harshly.
“That was a lot,” Vic laughed again and handed me the plate with a fork.
“Go sit,” he said and nodded his head towards the living room as he picked up both mugs. I did as he said and walked out of the kitchen.
“Which one do you want?” he asked and set them both down on the coffee table. “Um…that one,” I pointed to the blue mug and set my food down to move the blanket.
“Sit down,” He did as I said, smiling at me as I fell down next to him and then tucked the blanket around both of us. I handed Vic his mug and then picked up my plate, resting it on my lap. “This is huge,” I said, looking down at the large piece of pasta. “Not really. Besides, you haven’t eaten in like twelve hours. You have to eat all of it,”
I whined and reached to take a sit of my steaming drink. The marshmallows had mostly melted, making the chocolaty drink even sweeter.
I sipped at it carefully and swallowed before putting it down again. “All of it?” Vic nodded and watched until I took a bite. “Mmhmm, I love you’re cooking,” I said and chewed.
It was delicious and felt really good in my empty stomach. I took another bite, chewing quickly.
“Don’t eat too fast, you don’t wanna make yourself sick,” he said and touched my knee. I nodded a little. I really did have to slow down, or I’d have horrible stomach pains for the next few hours.
“What did you do today?” I asked and looked up at Vic as I chewed. “Hm…well, I worked and then I worked, and then I worked,” I laughed around my food.
“I know that. You’re always working,” He nodded and rested his feet up on the coffee table.
“What about you? Do anything other than watch Oli drug himself into oblivion?” I narrowed my eyes at the comment and swallowed before talking.
“I did my laundry,” Vic grinned at me and took another sip of his hot chocolate. “How thrilling,” he teased. “Mhm, my life is one big action movie,” He laughed at that.
“What about Kailey? Wasn’t she supposed to come this weekend?” he asked.
“Mhm, yeah, she was. Said she couldn’t make it though; her boyfriend broke two of his ribs.” Kailey was my sister, and she was originally going to spend the next two weeks with me. “Aw, I’m sorry. I know you were excited to see her,”
I sighed and shrugged a little. “Oh well,” He leaned over and kissed my hair, making me smile.
I really did love how affectionate he was. “Eat your dinner,” he said and mock glared at me. I rolled my eyes and speared another bite before waving it at him and putting it into my mouth. “Good boy,” he teased.
I grinned as I chewed. “What about your sibling? How’s Mike; the fucker won’t call me back,” Vic laughed and sipped his drink again.
“Okay, I guess. He really is horrible at calling people back,” I nodded my agreement as I ate.
“See, you’re already halfway done,” Vic commented as I swallowed a huge bite.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket violently, Vic rolling his eyes. “It’s Oli, isn’t it?” Vic asked sassily.
I sighed and nodded. “Yeah,” He slipped my phone from my hand and hit the ignore button before setting it on the table. “Vic, now he’s gonna be mad at me,” I whined and leaned back against the couch. “Too bad. He deserves to be put on hold for once. You are always on the backburner for him,” I sighed again and took another bite of my dinner, chewing quietly. Vic glanced at me as I finished and set the plate on his coffee table. “Come here,” he said and set his hot chocolate down and held his arms open for me to crawl into.
I snuggled into his side, resting my head on his chest as his arms wrapped around me.
“You’re so warm,” I mumbled and cuddled up against him. “I love you,” he said softly. I smiled and kissed his neck. “I love you too,” I said back.
“Do you wanna go to bed?” he asked softly. “I know you’re tired,” I nodded and stood up slowly, shuffling off to Vic’s bedroom with his duvet around me. Vic was laughing at me as he followed and then fell onto the bed, grabbing my waist as he landed and pulled me down with him.
“Fix the blankets,” he said and moved to get comfortable. I did as he asked and spread the covers out over us, Vic letting me cuddle up to him again.
He spooned me, holding me the way Oli rarely did. “’Night Kells,” he said quietly and tucked his face into my neck. I smiled and closed my eyes. “Goodnight,” ~