I Need You

Oli showed up while Kellin was still sleeping, his face contorted in anger.
“I fucking knew he would be here,” Oli said and started walking towards where Kellin was lying. He had his head on a pillow, my blanket draped over him.
I caught Oli’s arm, not wanting to wake him. “Don’t touch me,” he said angrily and ripped his arm from my grasp.
“Let him sleep,” I said calmly. “Why? So you can watch him some more?” my eyes rolled at the comment.
“No you crackhead, so he can sleep. He’s had a pretty shit night; thanks to you,” Oli’s hands curled into fists. “Oh really? Suddenly it’s my fault that Kellin can’t take care of himself?” he asked.
“No, it’s your fault that he’s out until four am without eating or taking his meds. It’s your fault that he’s in the worst part of town every night with a bunch of cracked up drug dealers, and it’s your fault he might not come home one night. So maybe you should rethink your priorities before you tell me Kellin can’t take care of himself. Yes, he’s irresponsible with his health and deserves better than you, but hey, I apparently can’t stop him.”
Oli lunged at me, shoving me back against my door harshly. Kellin sat up suddenly, startled awake by the sudden noise. “Vic?” he asked, his eyes falling on me.
His expression turned shocked and then angry, as he saw Oli. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked and stood up.
Oli released me, stepping back to look at Kellin. “He—“He what? Because you’re the one that looked in control,” Kellin said, cutting him off suddenly.
“But you didn’t hear what he said.” Kellin shook his head. “It’s Vic; I can guess what he said. That still doesn’t give you the right to hurt him,”
I didn’t know how to feel about that. It didn’t sound like a good thing, although I did badmouth Oli pretty often. “Well what about you Kellin? How many a nights a week do you go running to him, huh? How often do you sleep in his bed? How am I supposed to feel okay about that?”
Kellin frowned and then sighed quietly. “You’re supposed to trust me,” he whispered, kind of sadly.
“I do trust you. I just don’t trust him,” Oli said. “Why? Vic would never hurt me,” Kellin said, and then froze as he realized what he said.
“Oh and I do?” Oli questioned. “That’s not what I meant—I—it wasn’t supposed to come out that way,”
I tried to stay calm as I saw how frightened he looked. I knew Oli abused him, whether he admitted it to me or not. I had seen the bruises and I knew how bad it could get but Kellin looked genuinely afraid of him.
“What? I’m not good enough, so you need him too?” Oli asked. “No, it’s not like that, I—“Shut up!” Oli took a few steps closer to him, Kellin flinching inwardly.
I shoved Oli away from him before he could touch him, and protectively wrapped my arms around Kellin.
He looked up at me with wide eyes. “Get out, now,” I said threateningly. Oli threw the door open and then motioned at Kellin for him to go too.
He surprised me, making his way out of my arms to go to him. “What the hell?” I asked incredulously and caught Kellin's arms. “You’re going to go with him? Are you insane? He was just going to hit you!”
Kellin shook his head and pulled his arm out of my hand. “No he’s not. I promise,” He hugged me tightly before walking up to Oli and taking his hand.
“Kellin,” I said, just as he closed the door behind himself. I stared at my front door for about five minutes afterwards, utterly confused.
He had him so well trained to do anything he said, even if he had just threatened to beat the hell out of him.
I had the urge to run after them, not wanting Kellin to get hurt. What if he abused him when they got home?
I paced back and forth worriedly, praying that he would be okay. I had to get to work, so I wouldn’t have the time to stop by their place.
I groaned and grabbed a jacket and my keys, headed down to my car….
I worked mechanically the entire day, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. My whole demeanor radiated worry, and it was really starting to concern people.
Multiple customers asked if I was okay, and Tony did nearly a hundred times. “I’ll be fine,” I answered, or, “I’m alright; just tired,” although I wasn’t in the least.
I was worried sick about Kellin, silently begging God that he was okay. I didn’t know what I would do if he wasn’t and I could have stopped it.
I shouldn’t have come into work today. ~

I called Kellin again, sighing in relief when he answered. “Kellin?” I asked worriedly. “Yeah, hi,” he said. “Hi. Are you okay? Where are you? Did he hurt you?” I asked, my voice frantic.
“What, no. Vic, just relax, I’m fine,” Kellin said. “Are you sure? Don’t lie to me Kellin,” He sighed softly through the receiver. “I’m okay,” he said. “Promise?” I asked.
“I promise. I—I have to go, okay? I love you,” I knew he was lying, but I found it reassuring anyways. “I love you too. Call me if you need me, okay? I’ll come running,”
I could hear the smile in his voice. “I know. Bye Vic,” he said quietly before hanging up.
I sighed and dropped my phone onto the counter, my head falling down after it. At least he sounded okay; he wasn’t crying or anything.
I took that little bit of reassurance and walked to my room. Hopefully I would be able to fall asleep. ~

“Kellin?” I asked, seeing him at the end of the hall. He didn’t look at me, too engrossed in what was in front of him.
“Kellin!” I walked up to him, pausing when I saw Oli too. He was yelling, but I couldn’t hear what.
His hair flopped around as he shouted, swinging his arms around in terrifying emphasis.
Kellin huddled against the wall as he screamed and then got closer. I tried to move Kellin out of the way, but my hands went right through him.
I could feel my heart start to race as Oli hit him, knocking him to the floor. I helplessly tried to push Oli away, my hands futilely slipping through him.
I screamed for him to stop as Kellin cowered on the floor, taking hit after hit. Each one was followed by a kick, making him whimper soundlessly.
It looked like he was begging him to stop, curling up in a ball and wrapping his arms around himself for protection.
I tried to stop Oli again, panic shooting through my veins as I got the same useless result.
“Stop!” I screamed, although they couldn’t hear me. I fell to the floor, sobbing and trying to protect Kellin. He didn’t deserve this. It was horrible.

I shot up in bed, my heart racing in my chest. I was soaked with sweat, my clothes clinging to me disgustingly as I panted. My hair was sticking to me in sweaty curls, my cheeks wet with tears.
It wasn’t real…only it was. I just couldn’t see it.
I sat there gasping as the images replayed again and again behind my eyes.
I couldn’t get the picture of Kellin quivering in fear on the floor as Oli beat him.
I felt sick as I reached for my phone.
“Kellin?” He answered on the second ring, despite the fact that it was nearly four in the morning. “Vic? Why are you awake?” he asked. “Um, I couldn’t sleep…are you okay?” I asked.
“Uh, yeah, I’m okay,” he said, yawning. “Just a little tired. Why?” I sighed, relieved. “Um, no reason. I was just worried about you. Where are you?” I asked.
“I don’t know. With Oli somewhere…we’re leaving soon, so don’t worry. And I’ll be fine,” I smiled, loving that he knew me so well. “Okay, sorry. I love you honey,” I said.
“I love you too. Bye,” I sighed and fell back against the bed, too awake to go back to sleep now.
“Fuck,” ~