For the Holidays

Returning home for Christmas wasn’t exactly something that I was looking forward to. I had been living in Sweden for five years now and hadn’t visited Paris in a year and six months. I hadn’t seen anyone besides my brother and his family during the year and half that I was in Stockholm. Last year was the first year that I didn’t come back to Paris for Christmas. Now I wasn’t sure I should have gotten on the plane to go back to Paris.

It also didn’t help that I was the only one to move out of France. My Parents didn’t like that I chose to move out of Paris even though my sister had moved to Orléans. They told relatives and friends that I was the black sheep and always wanted to live far from home. They weren’t mad at me. They even supported me moving to Sweden. It was obvious that they wanted me to stay in Paris, and they had mentioned that I should move back the last time I talked to them.

I walked off the plane and into the terminal. Looking at the people around me, I noticed that they were already on their phones calling family or taxis. I considered calling my brother, Guillaume, but he would already be here with his wife. I hoped that he left their children with our parents. I wasn’t awake enough to deal with their four year old energy. I went through customs before going to get my luggage.

It didn’t take me long to see my brother and his wife, Sandrine. They thankfully didn’t bring their two boys, Jean-Claude and Jacques. They weren’t looking my way, but they were looking for me. I walked up to them and said warmly, “Bonjour, Guy.” I kept a friendly smile on my face, trying to keep my nerves of coming home hidden. I was preparing for the worst kinds of questions when I saw my parents.

“You still know French, Geneviève,” Guillaume teased, smiling at me. He reached out and hugged me tightly. “It’s been so long that I would have thought you forgot the language.”

I shook my head in disbelief of his words. I didn’t expect anything less from him though. He was my older brother, and he enjoyed teasing me. “I grew up speaking French, mon ami. It’s not that hard to forget,” I pointed out.

Sandrine laughed and shook her head. “You two are already acting like you were the last time you were when we visited you back in Stockholm,” she said, smiling. “Come on. We can get some coffee on the way out. Everyone is waiting to see you.”

Guillaume and I both shook our heads but walked with her to the coffee stand in the front of the airport before going to the car. Guy didn’t tease me about the coffee at that second, but I could see that he wanted to. We were always teasing each other because that was just what we did. We were like that when they came to visit me in Stockholm.

Once we were out of the airport and on the highway, there was more French than any other language on the signs unlike the signs in the international airport. I could see the Eiffel Tower in the distance, and the hectic traffic that was in Paris was something that I hated about Paris around the holidays. More people were here which meant more cars, and most of them were coming from the airport. Of course, it was like this in any town, not just Paris.

“Should I drive you by all the famous monuments to bring back your memory of this place?” my brother asked with a teasing tone in his voice.

“No, you don’t. I remember this place just fine,” I assured him as I pulled my phone out of my purse. I had a message from Tait. I smiled and quickly replied back. I wished that I brought him with me, but I knew if I did my parents would be asking if we were engaged, if we were going to be, if we were wanted children, and all those questions that I didn’t want to answer at the moment.

Right now, I wasn’t sure where my relationship with him was going. We had only been dating for a few months now, and well I didn’t want him to feel pushed into staying with me because of my parents. I really liked him and wanted those things to work out with him. I just didn’t want to rush things with him.

I watched the buildings pass by us from the backseat of the car and the Eiffel Tower getting closer. My parents didn’t live right next to the huge monument, but they lived close enough that had been what I had seen out of my window while I was growing up in their large apartment. I grew up watching it wondering what it was like to see something more than that tower.

“Have I told you that we are moving to Nice?” Guy asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. He looked at me for a second in the rearview mirror. He kept his attention on the road as much as he could.

“No, you haven’t. Have you told Mom and Dad yet?” I asked curiously. This would be something to see. All their children would be living in towns out of Paris. I smiled slightly because Nice was located in the South of France by the Mediterranean Sea. In fact, it was closer to Milan, Italy than it was to Paris. I wanted to see the looks on my parents’ faces when they found out. It was just an odd interesting thing to me.

“I’m trying to delay that as much as I possibly can, but once I move down there, I’m going to have some vacation time. Jean-Claude and Jacques both really liked Stockholm, and we were thinking of going up there and visit you there again,” he said.

“Come on up. I can’t guarantee that I will be off, but there’s always something to do or see in Stockholm,” I replied, smiling. I liked that they wanted to come up and visit me in Sweden.

It was nice being close to my brother. He was more accepting of my choice to move than my parents and my sister Victoire. I didn’t understand why my sister was like that, but I think it was just because there was a major difference in our age. She was four years younger than me. Guillaume was barely a year older than me. I partially blamed my sister’s and mine age difference in the fact that we weren’t closer than we could have been. She was nineteen now going to school in Orléans, and I was out of school and living the town where I had gone to college.

“Oh, I understand. The boys just really liked it up there. They were begging me to move up there instead moving to Nice when we told them the news,” Guillaume said, smiling.

***

When we got to my parents’ apartment, I was slightly shocked by how familiar it looked. I would have expected that there would be something different or that it had completely changed. It was the exact same as I remembered it. The elevator was slow to get to the ground floor, and we still preferred to use the stairs. I carried my bags up the stairs with me. They were small gifts, and I was sure that they would at least be thankful for the gifts.

Marie and Pierre were both busying themselves around the apartment. My father, Pierre, was still fixing the tree. It was more like putting the ornaments that their cat had pushed off the tree who was now perched on the of the couch acting innocent. I could see my mom, Marie, cooking in the kitchen like she always was.

Jean-Claude and Jacques came running into the living room. They were four years old and identical twins. The only way to tell them apart was how Sandrine dressed them. She was never one to make them look like they were matching all the time. They were born matching, so there needed to be a way to tell them apart as Guy always said. Jean-Claude always wore clothes with sport-related images on it since that was what he liked. Jacques wore clothes that didn’t have logos. He was a little more serious one out of the two.

They both hugged my legs and called out a greeting. I smiled down at the two. “You are both growing too fast,” I said in return. They laughed and hugged my legs tighter. I could hear Guillaume and Sandrine laughing and agreeing with what I said.

“Geneviève, you look so grown up now,” Pierre said, turning to look over at me. He looked down to see his grandsons hugging my legs. “You still have a way with children.”

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to hear him talk about how I should start giving him some grandchildren as well. I was just glad that I wasn’t like Guy who got married immediately out of high school and then had children so soon. I wanted a family of my own, but I wanted to have other things established first like a good career and a good husband who is good with children.

“Oh, my daughter’s finally home,” Marie said, coming out of the kitchen. She came over and hugged me, making my nephews let go of my legs. “It’s really a shame that you are still living in Stockholm. I don’t get to see you as much as I would like to. You must being frozen to the bone when you are up there!”

“Mère, it’s not that much colder there than it is here,” I pointed out. She shushed me and told me supper was going to be ready soon. I looked over at Guy who just shrugged his shoulders. He wasn’t going to get involved in this.

“Is there anything new in your life? Like a boy?” my mom asked curiously.

I thought about Tait for a second, but I didn’t say anything. What was I going to tell her? That I had been dating a guy for six month, and we both agreed that right now wasn’t the best time to meet each other’s family? She wouldn’t like that, so I kept my mouth shut and just shrugged my shoulders in answer. It was better that she didn’t know anything about at this exact moment.

The sound of the door opening behind me caused me to look over to see Victoire walking in with a guy next to her. “Bonjour,” she called into the apartment. She smiled when she got everyone’s attention which was something that she loved to have most of the time. “This is Antoine, my boyfriend.”

Antoine smiled at everyone. He seemed to be a little shy, but he appeared to be nice. It was kind of surprising someone as quiet as he seemed to be was dating someone as loud as my sister. She did seem to like him as she was introducing him to everyone. It took her second to realize that I was here because she was in her zone of talking. She was enjoying the attention which was something that made us two different people.

“Geneviève, I didn’t think you would be here this early. I thought that you would be here tomorrow. That was what Guy was telling me earlier,” she said with a friendly smile. She wasn’t being rude. It was clear that she was happy to see me, but she didn’t know that I would be here.

“That was because the plane had gotten delayed for a few hours, but then we were able to go earlier than planned. I couldn’t really call everyone at the last minute change,” I replied with a smile. I was wishing these next few days would fly by.

Victoire wasn’t a bad person, but after being around her for a while, I would get tired of her egotistical ways. She was the youngest and wasn’t really a planned child. She just kind of happened to come into this world was what our parents said. She was the baby, and that meant she got what she wanted. She got the room with the bigger closet which was fine by me. It didn’t really matter, but she did grow up with the attention focused on her. If she didn’t get it, she would get a bit grumpy.

Before anymore conversation could happen, Marie called out, “Supper is ready. Let’s eat.” We gathered around the dining table. I could smell the warm French onion soup. This was my favorite thing about coming home. I got to eat the cuisine that I grew up eating. Stockholm had a few French restaurants, but it didn’t taste as good as my mom’s homemade food.

Pierre asked Antione a million questions like any father would to their daughter’s boyfriend, but I couldn’t really help from feeling sorry for him. Antoine looked scared like he didn’t know what he got himself into, but he answered my father with honesty Victoire must have forgotten to warn him about what our father was like.

“Oh, leave him be, dear. He’s not a bad person,” my mom said. She looked over at Victoire’s boyfriend after glancing at her husband. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just being a protective father.”

Slowly, the conversation got directed towards me. It was mainly about what I was doing in Sweden and what was it like being out of college. Then my dad brought up the conversation that I didn’t want to hear. He was asking about if there were any guys that I liked or if there was any chance that if I was ever going to have a children. I looked at him and wondered again if I should mention Tait. My phone rang at that second, and I knew it was him.

They looked at me as I went to answer it. I could hear the smile in Tait’s voice when I answered. I knew that I wasn’t sure if I should tell them who Tait was, but I knew that I would have to now. They wouldn’t believe a lie about some guy from work. I smiled hearing his calm demeanor about him that was a part of the reason that helped me get through my worry. He encouraged me to go home for the holidays, and I wished he had come with me. He would be confident in answering my father’s questions.

“I’m having dinner, Tait,” I said into the phone. I could feel my family’s eyes on me. They couldn’t understand what I was saying thankfully since they didn’t know Swedish. Guy knew a little bit, but he wouldn’t understand it completely. At least, that’s what I was hoping for.

He laughed. “Well, I just got done eating. I just remembered that we had made a date to go out today which is making me miss you more. I honestly don’t even remember how we managed to plan something on a date when we will be in two different countries,” he said, rambling a bit. His deep voice and Swedish accent was coming through his words. “Now, I’m just wishing we were home. We will have our Christmas when you get back. I will make us a wonderful supper.”

I smiled, already remembering his food. “Of course, we will. My family is kind of watching me, and it’s getting a bit awkward,” I admitted. “I’ll call you before I go to bed.”

Tait told me he would wait for my call and yawned which told me. He was having a long day. He wasn’t in Stockholm. He had left earlier in the day to go visit his family in the very northern part of Sweden. All his family went up to his aunt’s reindeer farm. I couldn’t help from wondering if I should have gone with him to see his family instead of coming here.

I turned back to my family and decided that I might as well admit who that was. I could tell that my mom was going to say something about how I said that I didn’t have a boyfriend earlier, but I didn’t let her. I explained why he didn’t come with me, making it clear it was just that we haven’t been together for very long. Plus, I explained that he had gone to see his own family. I joked that I didn’t want my dad to scare him off just yet which got them all to laughing.

We finished out meal and helped Mom clean up the table and wash the dishes. I carried my bag up to the room that I stayed in when I was a kid. I knew that my mom want to say something about how I should have talked about Tait when she asked earlier. I knew that they would like him, but I doubted that they would like the fact that I would be more permanently connected to Sweden when they wanted me to come back to Paris or at least France.

I lied down on the twin bed next to the window. I looked over at the Eiffel Tower, standing above all of the buildings surrounding. I didn’t remember how many times I went to the top of the tower, but I remembered looking out from the ledge and feeling like a bird up there with the wind around me. I even told Tait about how I felt on the top of it. He would always smile and take a picture of me when I did. He was a photographer while I was a radio host. He would take a picture and smile when people were happy. I was one who talked about the news and played popular music.

I called him and talked to him as I watched the blue sky turn darker with the setting sun. I could tell that he was going to sleep from the yawn. I wished for the millionth time that he was here with me or I was there with him. He kept me from worrying about how my parents were going to react in the morning or what was going to happen here during Christmas. Hearing his voice made me wish that the time would fly so that I could see him sooner. Eventually, we both fell asleep on the phone. Neither one of us was mad about it.