If I Stay

Waking up was an interesting experience. There were people talking in the living room, but they were horrible at whispering. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and walked into the bathroom to clean my teeth, washing my face after to help wake me up. My hair was completely knotted, and I raked a brush through it before tying my hair up into a bun. I slid my glasses onto my face and shut the light off, walking to my dresser to get a pair of tights. I pulled them on and walked out of my room, having every intention of making myself some tea and working on my English paper for the rest of the day.

"Morning." Nina smiled at me. I hadn't even expected her to be home until later, but she was sitting on the couch, Niall next to her.

"Morning," I muttered, walking into the kitchen. I filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove, making myself two pieces of toast after. Niall and Nina were speaking in hushed whispers, and though I normally wasn't curious about other people's conversations, I felt like they were talking about me. I tried to ignore the somewhat silent conversation and busied myself with pouring my tea and putting jam on my toast.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about making you walk home alone last night." She looked genuinely sorry, but it wasn't a big deal to me.

"I didn't walk home by myself." I took a bite of my toast and sat down at our breakfast bar, opening up my laptop, my half written paper appearing immediately.

"Who walked with you? You brought somebody home?" Excitement filled her eyes, but I quickly killed her dreams when I shook my head.

"No. Harry walked me home." Her eyes widened and then moved to Niall who looked at me. They looked at each other, having yet another silent conversation, and then I was confused. They obviously knew who Harry was. He lived with Niall, so what was the big deal?

"And he didn't ask to come in or anything?" I raised my eyebrows, hoping they would tell me what exactly the problem was. Nina seemed a little nervous.

"No. He just walked me to the door and then left. Why? He's not a serial killer, is he?" It was my lame attempt at making a joke, something I was very bad at obviously. Neither of them laughed. I took another bite of toast and opened my notes.

"No, he's not a serial killer, but I don't think you should talk to him. He's trouble." It didn't come as a shock to me. With the way he looked, it was obvious he toyed with people's emotions.

"I figured. It was weird though. He stayed with me while I was there." I shrugged, glancing at the outline for my next paragraph. I had a touch of OCD, so planning out my papers ahead of time was an absolute must. It made writing the paper a lot easier as well. I still had two more pages to write, but if I got it done today, I wouldn't have to worry about it tomorrow.

"And he didn't ask you for anything?" I didn't understand why she was so surprised. Sure, he looked like he slept with a different girl every night, but I hadn't shown any interest in him, and he only seemed to be interested in asking me questions and making assumptions about the type of person I was.

"No. He was a bit annoying actually. I tried to tell him to go away." Nina and Niall exchanged looks again, and I gave up trying to figure our what they were talking about. I finished my toast and sipped my tea, my fingers moving over the keys once I set my mug down. The paper was two paragraphs longer before Nina said anything else.

"Are you going to see him again." That was up in the air, but I knew it wasn't likely.

"Probably not. I don't plan on going to another one of those parties, so unless he miraculously shows up at the door, I'd say no." She seemed satisfied with my answer, and I went back to typing. I heard the TV switch on, and I figured Niall would be staying for a while.

"I've gotta go to work. I'll see you, later." I heard an obnoxious kissing noise, "Bye Logan." I waved over my shoulder, not taking my eyes off the screen. The TV switched off, and then Nina was at my side. I knew a round of questions was coming, and I really didn't want to answer them. She was going to make something out of nothing, and I had more important things to worry about than her thinking I slept with some guy she didn't like.

"So what actually happened?" I rolled my eyes, finishing off my sentence. I had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation.

"I already told you. He was with me most of the night. After you told me you were staying with Niall, he walked me home." It wasn't a big deal. She was acting like he took me on some sort of date. I didn't even bother to ask his name until he was leaving.

"Sorry. I'm just trying to figure this out. Harry's known for sleeping with multiple girls, and I don't want you to be another one on his list." Once again, my assumption was correct. I shrugged because who he slept with didn't matter to me.

"I'm not even remotely interested in him. Like I said, I told him to leave me alone. He made the choice to stick around." I took another sip from my mug. The tea had gone lukewarm, and I decided that I no longer wanted it, getting up to pour the contents down the drain.

"And you guys just talked?"

"He did most of the talking really. He's quite persistent and a bit nosey. Believe me, I was just as confused as you were, but he was nice enough." She shook her head, walking to open the refrigerator.

"Harry doesn't do nice." I should have trusted her judgement because she'd clearly known him longer than I had, but he didn't seem all that bad to me, and it wasn't like I wanted to date him.

"Well like I said, I'm probably not going to see him again, so you don't have to worry mum," I said sarcastically, flashing her a fake smile. She pushed my shoulder and took a seat next to me, watching as I attempted to complete my paper. I couldn't rush it, but I also didn't want to spend the entire day working on it. I still had to proofread and make changes. I was very particular about my work, so I was sure to find something wrong with it once I finished.

"Do you like Niall?" It was a strange question, but I assumed she was asking because he'd be coming around more, and she wanted to make sure that I was comfortable with it.

"I haven't really spent time around him, but he seems alright."

"He thinks you don't like him because you don't talk to him." Most people got that impression from me. It wasn't that I didn't like anyone. I just didn't care to participate in a meaningless conversation. I wasn't used to small talk. My parents were all politics and anything else that was going on in the world. They particularly liked to criticize me, whether it be about my hair, my clothes, or my choice of school. But we had a deal, if I wanted them to pay for school and rent, I had to major in either business or chemistry. Sitting in an office at the end of my schooling wasn't ideal, so I'd picked chemistry and absolutely regretted my decision the first two weeks of the semester.

"I don't talk to anyone really."

"You talk to me," She pointed out.

"You're different. You can actually tolerate my attitude for more than five minutes. I don't know how you do it honestly." I shook my head.

"You talked to Harry." I knew he was going to become a topic of conversation again. I sighed and closed my laptop, knowing I probably wasn't going to get any work done until she either left the house or decided that my life was no longer interesting.

"That was a fluke." I made myself another cup of tea and walked into the living room, plopping onto the love seat. She followed me, sitting on the other couch, a cup of tea in her hands as well. I crossed my legs underneath me and pushed my glasses up my nose.

"It might have been a fluke, but you still talked to him. When I said you needed to make friends, he wasn't what I had in mind." He wasn't what I had in mind either, and we could hardly call each other friends. I was a bit rude, though he didn't seem to mind. I recall him saying that I was a 'breath of fresh air', whatever that meant anyway.

"Nina, I didn't even know his name until he was leaving. I'm not interested in him." That seemed to be her biggest concern, like one day I was going to wake up and jump his bones. It wasn't going to happen.

"You might not be interested in him, but he's clearly interested in you. Harry likes a challenge, and to him, that's what you are." I didn't like the thought of being a puzzle that someone wanted to solve. I also had the feeling that Harry was more like to destroy things rather than fix them.

"He'll forget about me the next party they have. It's not a big deal Nina. You don't have to worry about it." It was nice to have someone that actually cared, but I wasn't used to people being so persistent with me. I'd never had a large group of friends, nor did I want one. I was content with the few people that I did talk to in school, and once I went to uni, we all lost contact. It didn't bother me because I wasn't close to any of them.

"I know you can take care of yourself. Just stay away from Harry, alright?" I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Alright." I knew it was the only thing that was going to make her feel better and stop asking me questions. Clearly Harry was more trouble than it was worth if Nina was hellbent on me not hanging out with him. I was getting ready to turn on the TV when someone knocked on the door. I stood, walking to the door. I was disappointed that I was too short to see through the peep hole. I hated not knowing who was on the other side. I opened it, my eyes widening a little. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. It was slightly chilly, and the jumper I was wearing wasn't particularly warm.

"Good morning to you too." He grinned, his dimples sinking into his cheeks.

"Did you need something? Niall isn't here. He left for work already."

"Oh, no. I'm not looking for Niall. I came to ask you if you wanted to get breakfast." I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering if he was all there mentally. After the nearly non-existent conversation we'd had last night, I assumed he wouldn't come around anymore.

"You came to ask me to breakfast?" I just wanted to make sure I heard him right.

"Yes, if that's alright with you." He shoved his hands in his pockets, exactly as he did last night. It must have been a nervous habit.

"You should stand up straight. You're going to hurt your back if you keep hunching over like that." He stood up a little straighter, a small smile on his face.

"Does that mean you're coming to breakfast?" His face was hopeful, but I'd just agreed to stay away from him. I doubted going to breakfast would fly with Nina.

"No." His expression dropped a little, but he didn't leave.

"May I ask why?"

"Nina doesn't want me around you." It sounded childish when I said it out loud, but how was I supposed to explain to him that Nina basically said he slept around and that he was going to do the same thing to me. He raised his eyebrows at me, leaning against the wall by the door.

"Do you do everything Nina says?"

"No, but I'd rather not hear her bitch about it. I got enough of that 20 minutes ago." She was probably going to come outside soon to see what was going on. I could only hope that I'd be able to get Harry to leave before that happened.

"So don't tell her." He had a point, but I wasn't sure if I even wanted to go. Nina wasn't the only factor in the situation.

"What am I supposed to say? I don't talk to anyone but her and occasionally people from class." I was also very bad at lying. She'd see right through whatever I said.

"Tell her you're going to see your parents or something."

"I have designated days for those meetings, and I have an english paper to finish." He raised his eyebrows at me again.

"You have designated days for seeing your parents?" Nina was shocked when I told her too, but they were always busy with work. I only saw them once a week for dinner on Thursday nights.

"Yes. They're busy." I shrugged. I'd dealt with them being 'busy' for years. I was basically ignored when I lived in their house. Now that I was out, it was easier to distract myself from my neglectful parents.

"You'd think they'd make more time for their daughter." He was going into dangerous territory. My home life was really none of his business, and I didn't want to say anything else on the subject.

"You should probably go home." I put my hand on the doorknob, getting ready to turn it.

"You really don't want to go to breakfast?" I felt bad because it seemed like he really wanted me to go, but Nina's warning was in the back of my head about me being nothing but a challenge to Harry. I'd rather not get involved with anyone, even if I didn't see it going anywhere.

"No."

"Okay. I'll see you later Logan." He stood there, waiting for me to say something else, but I turned and walked inside, shutting and locking the door behind me.

"Who was that? You were outside for a while." I debated on lying, but there was no one I could use as an excuse.

"Harry." She gave me a knowing look, and I rolled my eyes, knowing the lecture of the century was getting ready to happen.

"What did he want?"

"He asked me to breakfast." I knew it wasn't a big deal. It was something entirely different to Nina. She shook her head, mumbling something to herself.

"I don't know what's up with him. He doesn't ask people to go anywhere but his room." I didn't need to know that, but I nodded along to pacify her.

"Well I told him no. He's gone."

"Good." She walked out of the living room, leaving me with puzzled thoughts. Sure, she'd known Harry longer than I had, but I wondered if she ever actually had a conversation with him or if she was just going off of what she saw. Either way, I could make my own assumptions about people. As long as I didn't get involved romantically, I didn't see why I couldn't keep him around as a friend.