If I Stay

"Alright, Nina seems to think I've kidnapped you, so unless you want her to find you, I suggest you hide." I rolled my eyes, pushing myself from Harry's bed. I walked to his closet, my designated hiding space, and pushed his coats out of the way, closing the door behind me. Since our brief moment of bonding, I'd spent more time with Harry than I cared to admit. Though his flirtation and constant innuendo did get tiresome, he wasn't all bad.

"I told you she wasn't in here." I heard him speak and held my breath, trying to stay as still as I possibly could.

"Then where is she? She's barely home anymore, and when she is home, she's locked in her room. What have you done with my best friend?" I could practically hear Harry's eyes rolling into the back of his head.

"I haven't done anything with her or to her. If you don't recall, you've done everything in your power to get her to stay away from me. Why on Earth would you think she'd be here?" His argument was convincing, which made me feel worse about the fact that I was hiding in his closet. He probably didn't care that he was lying to her, but it mattered to me, and I had half a mind to walk back into the room, but I decided that it wasn't the best idea. I'd probably start a war.

"Because you're the only other person that she would be with. I already talked to Landon, and he hasn't seen her. So where is she?"

"I don't know where she is, but if I run into her, I will let you know." I heard a door slam and then two soft knocks, "She's gone." I stepped out of the closet, running my fingers through my hair.

"You need to tell her what's going on at some point."

"She'll have my head," I pointed out, throwing myself against his pillows once again.

"I know, but if we keep this up, she'll have my head too, and I'd like both of us to live." I sighed, knowing this was going to be a challenge. There was no way to explain all of this to Nina without her getting upset about something.

"She's going to be mad either way. I'll give her a couple days." It was better than going to find her right now and telling her everything. She'd know that I was in Harry's room, and that would just open a can of worms that I really had no desire to deal with.

"When are you going to talk to your parents?" Harry laid down on the other end of the bed, turning so that his body was facing me.

"Tonight. Landon is making the announcement that's he's getting married. I have no choice but to see them." I knew everything was going to be a disaster. My brother disappearing and then returning to announce his engagement wasn't going to sit well with the couple that raised us. There was sure to be yelling and questions of why Landon couldn't be more like me. I was in for it.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I almost laughed, but I didn't want to offend him.

"I would like it if you did, but tonight's going to be enough of a fiasco as it is. I don't want to put you in the middle of it."

"I'm sort of already in the middle of it." He was right. He witnessed everything. It was only fair.

"You have a point."

"So I'll go for moral support. I'll be on my best behavior. I promise." He was grinning, and I had a feeling that everything was going to go wrong, though it couldn't be any worse than if he wasn't going at all.

"Alright. Get dressed, and don't make fun of me when you pick me up." I was required to actually put effort into my outfit when I saw my parents. If I wore anything other than a dress, there were comments about how I wasn't spending their money properly. I was supposed to be in the best of the best, as my mother used to say.

"I finally get to see you in a dress?" His eyes sparkled with mischief, and I smacked his leg.

"Yes, and if you make a comment, you're going to regret it." I gave him a fake smile, pushing myself from the bed. I grabbed my bag from the floor and slid my feet back into my shoes.

"You have two hours." I stepped out, peeking down the hallway before rushing down the stairs and out the door. Hopefully Nina wasn't there or at home. I walked quickly, locking the door behind me once I was inside.

"There you are! What's going on with you? Are you mad at me?" Nina was staring at me with worried eyes as she placed her hands on my shoulders.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I have to get ready for dinner with my parents." She released my shoulders, taking a couple steps back.

"Oh, well that should be fun," she muttered sarcastically, "But where have you been? I barely see you anymore."

"In the library. With midterms coming up, I just wanted to be somewhere quiet," I lied easily, walking to my room.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. You need help picking your outfit?" She stood in the doorway, and I felt bad for keeping everything from her. I knew she was suspicious, and I should have been able to tell her, but I didn't want to. Not yet, at least

"No, I've got it, but thank you." I pulled my phone from my pocket, texting Harry to let me know when he was outside. It didn't seem like Nina was going to be leaving anytime soon, and I didn't want Harry to come to the door only to have her answer it.

"Alright." Her tone dropped a little as she walked out of my room and closed the door behind her. I let out a small breath that I didn't realize I was holding and walked over to my closet, pulling the door open. The darkest corner was reserved for the dresses I only wore on special occasions. I glanced through the few that I owned, settling on the cream and maroon ensemble. I tugged on the hanger and set the dress on my bed, walking into my bathroom to take a shower. I let the warm water relax me as I mentally prepared myself for the disaster of a dinner that was coming. I only hoped that Harry stayed true to his word and was on his best behavior. I didn't need my parents yelling at me for bringing a "delinquent" into their home. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how horrible of an idea it was to have Harry in the same house as my parents. They were going to tear him apart, and I really didn't want to subject him to that kind of torture. I shut the water off, wrapping myself in a towel before I stepped out into the cool air. I swiped my hand across the mirror to clear the steam, staring at my face. You could see the worry in my eyes, and I cursed to myself, drying my hair. I plugged in my straightener and put on a light coat of foundation and mascara, adding a little blush so I didn't look so pale. I pulled on my dress and straightened my hair, sliding my feet into a pair of flats. I was putting on matching jewelry when my phone vibrated on my bed.

I'm outside

I quickly grabbed my purse, throwing the essentials inside and grabbing a coat. When I walked out of my room, Nina and Niall were sitting on the couch, watching some old movie with a large bowl of popcorn between the two of them. Niall gave me a suspicious look, and I crossed my fingers, hoping he wouldn't ask any questions. He'd caught me at the house a couple times, but I always found an excuse to be there. He believed me for the most part, but I was running out of reasons to give him, and it was only a matter of time before he figured everything out.

"Well aren't you looking spiffy." He grinned, letting out a wolf whistle. I rolled my eyes, tossing my hair over my shoulder.

"Don't get used to it. This is strictly for dinner with my parents."

"You look nice," he said, giving me a genuine smile.

"Thank you. I'll see you guys later." They'd either be sleeping or having a romp when I got home, so I doubted that I'd actually get the chance to see them. I walked outside, finding Harry's car parked in front. He was leaning against the passenger door, and my mouth almost dropped open at the sight of him. I was surprised to see that he was wearing a white button up, though the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing the array of tattoos that he had on his arms, and the first few buttons were undone, showing the two swallows underneath his collarbone. His hair was carefully pushed away from his face, and the smile he gave me made a tight feeling appear in my chest.

"You look amazing," he beamed, pushing himself from the side of the car to open the door for me.

"Thank you," I mumbled quietly, a weird sense of nervousness settling over me. I was never nervous when going to see my parents. I knew what to expect during dinner. Maybe it was the fact that Landon was announcing his engagement tonight. Maybe it was because of the information about my father that I was still holding on to. Maybe it was the fact that despite my efforts to ignore what I was feeling, Harry looked absolutely gorgeous. It could have been a combination of all three things.

"You're nervous." It wasn't a question, so I wasn't sure how to respond.

"Yes."

"Why? I promised to be on my best behavior." Though he was trying to hide it, I could tell that he was nervous too. It was obvious from the way he drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and the fact that he hadn't asked me for my parents address yet, so he was just driving around.

"It's not you I'm worried about," I partially lied, tugging at the hem of my dress.

"I'm sure everything will be fine." He turned a corner, and for a second, I thought he knew where he was going.

"You don't know my parents. Or my brother. You're getting primetime entertainment tonight," I sighed, putting my parents address into his GPS. It was obvious that he wasn't going to ask. His mind was preoccupied.

"They can't be that bad," he glanced over at me briefly before turning his eyes back to the road.

"You'll see." Quicker than I appreciated, Harry pulled up outside of my parents home. It was overly extravagant for the two people that lived there. It was overly extravagant when Landon and I lived there.

"What do your parents do?" Harry asked, staring up at the house I grew up in.

"Both sides of my family come from money, but my dad is a CEO and my mom is involved with too many businesses for me to count on two hands." I really hoped this didn't make him uncomfortable. Other than the fact that my parents weren't exactly the nicest people, we hadn't discussed our family's much. I probably should have warned him ahead of time.

"I'm not sure I want to go in now." He shut the car off and leaned back against his seat. I didn't blame him, but Harry didn't strike me as someone that backed down from anything.

"Uhm....you don't have to. Landon will take me home, or my parents will call a car for me. It's fine." It wasn't fine because now I feared facing everything alone, but I wasn't going to force him to stay if he wasn't comfortable. He was silent for a long moment, and then he unbuckled his seat belt before getting out of the car. He walked around to my side, opening the door and helping me out.

"No. I said I was going to go with you. I'm going to do it." I gave him a pass when he grabbed my hand. This wasn't a situation either of us wanted to be in, and his touch was providing a small sense of comfort.

"I'm apologizing ahead of time for anything my parents say to you, and feel free to walk out at any time. I won't be upset." I wouldn't blame him for leaving. I knew how nasty my parents could get. I had to grin and bear it because they paid for all of my things. He didn't have to take it.

"Are they really that bad?" His eyes widened a little, and it was the first time I'd seen him look scared since I met him.

"Yeah, kinda." I pulled my keys from my bag with my free hand and unlocked the door, stepping inside and closing it behind us.

"Thank God, you're here." Landon wrapped me in a hug. Judging from his tone, my parents had already brought out the big guns. This was going to be a long night.

"Everything okay?" I already knew the answer to the question, but I wasn't sure what else to say.

"As okay as things can be. Lottie's in the kitchen with mum." My eyes widened a little, and I prayed that she wasn't ripping Lottie a new one, "Who's this?" I'd almost forgotten that Harry was there. I turned, motioning for him to come forward.

"Landon, this is my friend, Harry." Landon eyed him suspiciously, much like any older brother would before sticking out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, mate." I watched Harry's shoulders relax a little when Landon didn't bite his head off, and I let them have a small conversation while I set my things down, mentally preparing myself to introduce Harry to my parents. It shouldn't have been a big deal because Harry and I weren't dating, but my parents could jump to conclusions, and most of time they did. It was an unfortunate trait that I'd inherited.

"Where's dad?"

"In his office. He was strangely nice to Lottie. I almost fell over when he gave her a hug." I choked on my own saliva, my eyes widening again. My father never showed anyone affection, and I felt the need to tell Landon what I'd seen the other day.

"Yeah, I'll talk to you about that after dinner." He raised his eyebrows at me, and I grabbed Harry's hand, taking a deep breath.

"Ready to meet the wicked witch of the east?" I asked, pulling him toward the kitchen.

"Sure." I could see the nervousness in Harry's eyes again, and Landon chuckled as I led him into the next room.

"Mother, there's someone I want you to meet." She looked up from whatever she'd taken out of the oven, and when I glanced at Lottie, she looked relieved to see a familiar face.

"Hello, darling." She gave me a brief kiss on the cheek before looking at Harry, a frown slowly spreading across her face, "Who's this? You've brought home a significant other as well?" She didn't look happy, and I could see a hint of sadness in Lottie's eyes. This wasn't going to end well.

"Oh, no. This is Harry. He goes to uni with me. We're just friends."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Vanderbilt." If Harry was nervous, he was no longer showing it. He seemed confident as he shook my mother's hand, and she stared at him in surprise. Most people cowered at her, even though she wasn't much taller than I was.

"Nice to meet you. Is Harry short for something?"

"No ma'am. Just Harry." She nodded once, turning back to Lottie.

"Alright. Everyone into the dining room. I'm going to get your father." I was thankful for the few moments of peace we were granted because the fireworks were about to start. I followed Lottie and Landon into the dining room, glancing behind me to make sure my mother had already gone up the stairs.

"I'm so glad you're here. Your father seems nice, but your mother doesn't like me very much," Lottie said, wrapping her arms around me.

"Don't take it personal. She doesn't like anyone. Harry, this is Lottie, my brother's fiancee." They shook hands and greeted each other politely before Landon pulled Harry to the side.

"He's gorgeous!" Lottie whispered, smacking at my shoulder. My face flamed a little, and I glanced over at my new found friend.

"Yeah, I know." It was almost unbearable, and I could finally see why every girl at school wanted him, but that still didn't change my mind.

"So are you guys really just friends? Or did you lie?"

"No, we're friends. It's a recent thing, really. He's just here for moral support."

"I think he's interested in you," she pointed out, glancing over at the boys. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

"I know. He hasn't exactly been subtle about it."

"So why aren't you guys dating?" She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. She resembled a mother scolding her child, and I knew this wasn't going to be the only time we'd have this conversation.

"Because he's a womanizer, and I'm not looking to be in a relationship. Please don't ask anymore questions while he's here," I begged, suspecting that he could hear what we were saying. I could see him looking at me, and it was making me nervous.

"Don't think this conversation is over. You're giving me full details after dinner." I nodded, knowing there was no way out of it.

"Logan," my father's voice boomed, and I whipped around. It was the first time I'd seen him since the incident, and I wasn't sure how to feel towards him. Regardless of the fact that I was angry, I knew that I couldn't show it.

"Hello, father." He surprised me when he walked over and gave me a hug. I glanced around his shoulder at Landon who simply shrugged.

"And who is this young man?" He asked, turning to Harry.

"This is Harry, Logan's boyfriend." My eyes widened, and I made immediate plans to suffocate Landon in his sleep.

"He's not my boyfriend," I said quickly as my father shook his hand. I glared at Landon, letting him know that I'd be knocking his head off later.

"No sense in hiding him. If he's your boyfriend, it's alright." I opened my mouth to protest again, but my father pulled him into the other room to probably give him an unnecessary talk. I groaned, throwing my head backwards.

"You're just determined to make this difficult for me, aren't you?" I asked Landon, leaning against one of the chairs.

"Just giving you the push you need. It's obvious you two are into each other."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Landon rolled his eyes, pulling out Lottie's chair.

"Whatever." Harry returned with wide eyes, and I was positive that my father threatened him. I gave him an apologetic look, knowing he was ready to run for the hills.

"Your father is scary," he murmured as he pulled my chair out for me.

"I know. I'm sorry," I whispered back. He took the seat next to me, and my father sat down at the head of the table. Dinner was served, and the first few minutes of the meal were spent in an awkward silence. My parents refused to look at each other, and we all knew something weird was going on.

"So, Harry. Where'd you meet my daughter?" My father was the first to speak, and I was tempted to put my hand over my eyes.

"We go to the same uni."

"And what are you majoring in?" One thing my father was known for was getting straight to the point. Because of Landon's careless introduction, my father wanted to make sure that Harry would be able to provide for me should we get married.

"English, sir." This seemed to surprise everyone at the table, including myself.

"And what do you plan to do with your degree?"

"I want to be a primary school teacher." Another shocker for me. We hadn't discussed our majors or what we wanted to do, and I wasn't aware of the fact that Harry liked kids enough to even be a teacher. It seemed that I misjudged him, though that had been sort of obvious over the last few days.

"That's wonderful, son." I nearly choked on my mashed potatoes. I had no idea why my father seemed to be in such a good mood. He was never this nice, and I could tell that Landon was feeling the same way I was.

"How do you expect to get a job with all of those tattoos?" My mother's tone was nasty, and I almost wanted to cry. She was going to embarrass everyone at the table.

"With all do respect, ma'am, I know to cover them up." Harry's tone was polite, much to my surprise. If she weren't my mother, I would have snapped at her.

"Well that's fine and all. I just don't understand why someone would want to permanently mark their skin. You must know how people look at you."

"Mother," I warned, hoping she would stop being rude. Harry had been nothing but respectful since he stepped through the door, and he didn't deserve what was coming his way.

"No, it's fine, Logan," he put his hand over mine, but it wasn't making me feel any better, "I know what kind of person I am, and I don't much care for what other people think."

"Well, you should. Especially if you're going to be dating my daughter. I want her to be with someone that respects her, someone that is worthy to be seen with her." I silently cursed Landon for putting the seed of me and Harry dating into our parents' heads, and I silently cursed my mother for putting herself on an impossibly high pedestal.

"I have nothing but the utmost respect for your daughter, Mrs. Vanderbilt, but I believe she should be able to decide who she wants to be seen with." Landon choked on his food, eyes widening with tears of laughter. No one other than Landon had stood up to our mother, and I knew he was getting a kick out of it. My father was chuckling at the other end of the table, and a part of me felt like this secret girlfriend he had was making him happy. I still didn't approve for the simple fact that he was still married.

"And you think that you deserve to have her?" I was tempted to slam my head down onto the table, and I was grateful when my father spoke up.

"Give it a rest, Elizabeth. It's quite obvious how he feels about Logan. You're not going to scare him off because you don't approve. Sip your wine, and be quiet." A laugh bubbled inside my chest, but it was masked by my pure shock of what was said. My mother's mouth popped open, and I glanced nervously at Landon who was trying to hold back what looked like the laugh of a lifetime. Lottie was quietly giggling behind her napkin.

"Do not speak to me that way in front of the children."

"You need to calm down. You're overreacting, like you always do."

"So you think she should just be able to run around with whomever she pleases?"

"If he makes her happy, yes."

"And what happens when he can't provide for her?"

"Elizabeth, you're being rude." It was like watching a tennis match, glancing back and forth between the two of them. I could feel Harry tensing in anger next to me, and I grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers. I owed him the biggest apology ever.

"No. I'm being realistic."

"Mother, please stop," I begged, tears brimming at the bottom of my eyes. Things were getting out of hand, and I'd rather everything not turn into a screaming match.

"No. You will not date some tattooed low life and expect me to just be okay with it." She pushed herself from the table, stomping upstairs. We were all stunned, and I felt Harry's grip on my hand tighten.

"I'm sorry, son. That woman has a bit of a temper." My father sighed, rubbing the tension from between his eyebrows.

"It's alright. Nothing I haven't heard before." Harry was trying to act like my mother's words didn't affect him, but I could tell that they did.

"It's not alright. I apologize for her behavior." Landon cleared his throat and stood.

"Well, considering the night has officially been ruined, I have some good news. Lottie and I are getting married." My father's eyes widened in surprise, and I was happy that the attention was taken off of Harry. I stroked the palm of his hand with my thumb, feeling horrible for the things my mother said about him.

"That's wonderful." My father stood to give them both a hug, and I followed suit, pulling Harry with me. I wanted to leave.

"Dad, I'm sorry, but we're going to go. We have midterms to study for."

"I understand. Thank you for coming, and again Harry, I'm sorry for my wife's behavior." I hugged everyone quickly and pulled Harry from the house, walking down to the car. We got in silently, and no conversation passed between the two of us as he drove me home. I knew tonight was going to be a disaster, but I didn't think things were going to get that bad.

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't know my mother was going to say those things about you. She's always been vile, but I didn't think she would call you names." I apologized when he parked outside the flat. He didn't say anything right away. He stared out the windshield in silence, and I was tempted to cry again.

"That wasn't your fault. You warned me. Your father is nice though, despite the fact that he threatened to castrate me should you ever come home with so much as a scratch on your body or tears in your eyes." He leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, he seemed to be in a better mood than usual," We sat in silence for a few more moments before I couldn't take it anymore, "I'm sorry," I said again, feeling like I'd never be able to apologize enough.

"Stop saying that you're sorry. It's not your fault. Like I said, it wasn't anything that I hadn't heard before. You're fine." I didn't feel fine. I felt horrible, but it didn't seem like his reaction was going to change.

"So you don't completely hate me?" He chuckled a little, but it was half-hearted.

"No, I don't. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" A part of me felt like I wasn't going to see him, but I nodded all the same.

"Yeah."