Family is all we have in the end
Tuesday, November 23rd 1871
I sit up in my bed, drowsy from sleep; Gabe is standing in front of me, dressed in his trousers, button down shirt and tie. His brown hair is hanging off his head messily, and he has a packet of jelly babies in his hand. He pops one of the sweets into his mouth as he looks at me, annoyance all over his face.
“Cass, are ya gonna walk me to school or what?” I shake my head trying to get out of the daze of sleep. I put my hand on my head, running my hands through my dark hair and finally compute what my brother had just said. Bloody hell, I must have slept in. I hop out of bed and rush across the room to the closet. Gabe is now sitting on my bed watching me frantically look through my closet. I hear him get up off the bed and leave the room, he drops several sweets on the floor by mistake. I grab my button up shit, navy tie and my trousers, doing my best to change into them quickly. When I’m finally dressed, I rush down stairs trying to tie my tie properly, but I am stopped by my older brother.
“Hello Cassius.” I like it more my people use my full name rather than the unusual nickname most people refer to me by, but the way that Michael says it sounds much too formal. It sound wrong. It doesn’t even sound like my name. Michael’s blue eyes lock with mine, his dark hair is neatly combed and he is dressed in very formal attire.
“Hey Michael.” I try to move past him to get down the stairs. “I-uh have to get Gabe to school” I inform him, hoping this will get him to move out of the way, yet he stays standing in front of my.
“Ah yes, Gabriel does indeed need to get to school on time.” Michael says but he still blocks my path down the stairs. “But I do need to chat with you quickly, Cassius.” I sigh and give up getting down the stairs. I nod waiting for him to continue speaking. “Lucian has been away for about three months now,” I nod slowly and bit at my lip nervously, Lucian is a touchy subject, especially with Michael. With Luc being nineteen years old now, he’s gone a lot. “and well-“
“Cassie! Hurry up!” Gabe’s voice calls from the front door, interrupting Michael. Michael sighs in irritation and moves out of my way finally.
“We’ll talk latter.” Michael mumbles, and he goes up the stairs.
When I get to the bottom of the stairs I grab my tan overcoat from the front closet and slip it over my clothes. It is much too large for me, when I put my arms at my side the sleeves cover my hands and the bottom of my coat goes far past my knees. Even if it were the correct size, it is much too old and dirty to look proper. I wear it so often and I never bother to wash it. Anna tells me it looks terrible and when we were younger she would forbid me from wearing it out of the house. I’m old enough now that she has stopped trying to make me take it off. My mother had given it to me before she died; telling me that I could wear it when I was older. So it made me happy to wear it, it was one of the only memories I had of her. I slip into a pair of shoes and walk towards the door where Gabe is waiting for me. He already has a new bag of sweets, he loves candies more than anything.
Before I’m able to leave the house, Anna straightens my tie for me, and smiles. Her red hair is neat and up in a bun. She is dressing in a simple pale pink dress, tight at the stomach to keep her back straight when she stands. White crinoline can be seen from under the bottom of the dress, which is far past her knees and almost to her feet. I scrunch up my nose, Anna never wears her hair up unless she has to, and she almost never wears clothing so proper, which means she has somewhere important to be today. Unlike most sixteen year old girls Anna often likes wearing pants, she never wears them out of the house of course, but having four brothers it’s easiest.
“Where are you going today?” I ask as she finishes fixing my tie.
“What?” She asks, confusion in her voice.
I gesture to her hair, tied neatly on top of her hair. “You wouldn’t have your hair up if you didn’t have somewhere important to be.”
“Oh! I’m going to a job interview today” She clarifies with a smile, I can tell that she is excited for it. I don’t bother asking her what the job is because I have to hurry and get Gabe to school, but I’m sure it is something along the lines of a teacher, clerk or secretary. I know that she will tell me about it later. I bid her good luck on getting the job before walking out of the house with Gabe.
We walk in silence for a while before either of us speak. The cold nips at my exposed ears and nose. When Gabe finally speaks he stars by simply saying my name, as if to get my attention.
“Cass?” He sounds much quieter than normal, he is usually loud (much louder than other thirteen year olds) and rude, making jokes, but at the moment he sounds concerned.
“Yes?” The way that the conversation starts tells me that this is not going to be a fun conversation to have.
“Where’s Luci?” I don’t know how to answer this question. It sounds simple enough, but then again, I don’t even know the answer. He’s been gone for a long time now, but he always disappears like this. I don’t understand why Gabriel is asking this now, when it is a regular occurrence. I bite my lip again, it’s a bad habit I have when I’m nervous, and sigh before looking at my little brother.
“Gabe.” I start, trying to sound calm. “We’re not really sure where he is” My voice trails off, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to my brother. I expect him to continue asking questions until he gets an answer he’s happy with but he stays quiet instead and just nods, continuing to walk forward, his shoulders slouched. The walk to school is short but it seems to take forever, the entire way we both remain soundless. When we arrive at the school building I turn to look at Gabe. “Have a good day at school.” I force a weak smile and he smiles back. He says goodbye and hugs me and then he goes into the school building. I stopped going to school last year, I was lucky to go to school past the age of ten, because most kids stopped at that age, but Michael had wanted me to get a good education.
The walk home is filled with my own thoughts, I can’t stop thinking about Gabe’s question and how I stopped wondering it myself, years ago. My mind wanders and I start to think about good memories, times with my mother. Even if my most recent memory of her was from when I was only six years old, those happy memories then end, leading to four terrible years with our alcoholic, abusive father. As much as we all hated that father had abandoned us and how it made surviving hard for us, I was glad he did.
“Cass, are ya gonna walk me to school or what?” I shake my head trying to get out of the daze of sleep. I put my hand on my head, running my hands through my dark hair and finally compute what my brother had just said. Bloody hell, I must have slept in. I hop out of bed and rush across the room to the closet. Gabe is now sitting on my bed watching me frantically look through my closet. I hear him get up off the bed and leave the room, he drops several sweets on the floor by mistake. I grab my button up shit, navy tie and my trousers, doing my best to change into them quickly. When I’m finally dressed, I rush down stairs trying to tie my tie properly, but I am stopped by my older brother.
“Hello Cassius.” I like it more my people use my full name rather than the unusual nickname most people refer to me by, but the way that Michael says it sounds much too formal. It sound wrong. It doesn’t even sound like my name. Michael’s blue eyes lock with mine, his dark hair is neatly combed and he is dressed in very formal attire.
“Hey Michael.” I try to move past him to get down the stairs. “I-uh have to get Gabe to school” I inform him, hoping this will get him to move out of the way, yet he stays standing in front of my.
“Ah yes, Gabriel does indeed need to get to school on time.” Michael says but he still blocks my path down the stairs. “But I do need to chat with you quickly, Cassius.” I sigh and give up getting down the stairs. I nod waiting for him to continue speaking. “Lucian has been away for about three months now,” I nod slowly and bit at my lip nervously, Lucian is a touchy subject, especially with Michael. With Luc being nineteen years old now, he’s gone a lot. “and well-“
“Cassie! Hurry up!” Gabe’s voice calls from the front door, interrupting Michael. Michael sighs in irritation and moves out of my way finally.
“We’ll talk latter.” Michael mumbles, and he goes up the stairs.
When I get to the bottom of the stairs I grab my tan overcoat from the front closet and slip it over my clothes. It is much too large for me, when I put my arms at my side the sleeves cover my hands and the bottom of my coat goes far past my knees. Even if it were the correct size, it is much too old and dirty to look proper. I wear it so often and I never bother to wash it. Anna tells me it looks terrible and when we were younger she would forbid me from wearing it out of the house. I’m old enough now that she has stopped trying to make me take it off. My mother had given it to me before she died; telling me that I could wear it when I was older. So it made me happy to wear it, it was one of the only memories I had of her. I slip into a pair of shoes and walk towards the door where Gabe is waiting for me. He already has a new bag of sweets, he loves candies more than anything.
Before I’m able to leave the house, Anna straightens my tie for me, and smiles. Her red hair is neat and up in a bun. She is dressing in a simple pale pink dress, tight at the stomach to keep her back straight when she stands. White crinoline can be seen from under the bottom of the dress, which is far past her knees and almost to her feet. I scrunch up my nose, Anna never wears her hair up unless she has to, and she almost never wears clothing so proper, which means she has somewhere important to be today. Unlike most sixteen year old girls Anna often likes wearing pants, she never wears them out of the house of course, but having four brothers it’s easiest.
“Where are you going today?” I ask as she finishes fixing my tie.
“What?” She asks, confusion in her voice.
I gesture to her hair, tied neatly on top of her hair. “You wouldn’t have your hair up if you didn’t have somewhere important to be.”
“Oh! I’m going to a job interview today” She clarifies with a smile, I can tell that she is excited for it. I don’t bother asking her what the job is because I have to hurry and get Gabe to school, but I’m sure it is something along the lines of a teacher, clerk or secretary. I know that she will tell me about it later. I bid her good luck on getting the job before walking out of the house with Gabe.
We walk in silence for a while before either of us speak. The cold nips at my exposed ears and nose. When Gabe finally speaks he stars by simply saying my name, as if to get my attention.
“Cass?” He sounds much quieter than normal, he is usually loud (much louder than other thirteen year olds) and rude, making jokes, but at the moment he sounds concerned.
“Yes?” The way that the conversation starts tells me that this is not going to be a fun conversation to have.
“Where’s Luci?” I don’t know how to answer this question. It sounds simple enough, but then again, I don’t even know the answer. He’s been gone for a long time now, but he always disappears like this. I don’t understand why Gabriel is asking this now, when it is a regular occurrence. I bite my lip again, it’s a bad habit I have when I’m nervous, and sigh before looking at my little brother.
“Gabe.” I start, trying to sound calm. “We’re not really sure where he is” My voice trails off, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to my brother. I expect him to continue asking questions until he gets an answer he’s happy with but he stays quiet instead and just nods, continuing to walk forward, his shoulders slouched. The walk to school is short but it seems to take forever, the entire way we both remain soundless. When we arrive at the school building I turn to look at Gabe. “Have a good day at school.” I force a weak smile and he smiles back. He says goodbye and hugs me and then he goes into the school building. I stopped going to school last year, I was lucky to go to school past the age of ten, because most kids stopped at that age, but Michael had wanted me to get a good education.
The walk home is filled with my own thoughts, I can’t stop thinking about Gabe’s question and how I stopped wondering it myself, years ago. My mind wanders and I start to think about good memories, times with my mother. Even if my most recent memory of her was from when I was only six years old, those happy memories then end, leading to four terrible years with our alcoholic, abusive father. As much as we all hated that father had abandoned us and how it made surviving hard for us, I was glad he did.