Bedroom vs Kitchen

The day after John and Alex get married is way more stressful and less fun than their wedding day. It starts with John finding Alex hovered over the toilet dry-heaving.

“I’ve never been this sick the day after drinking,” Alex mutters, resting his forehead against the rim of the toilet.

“I carried you out of the banquet room, to the limo, into the hotel room. And after an hour, into here. I’ve never seen you so drunk,” John tells his husband, squatting down beside him.

Alex frowns as he looks up at John. “I ruined our wedding night,” Alex says apologetically as his eyes fill with tears.

John leans over and presses his lips to Alex’s cheek. “Shut up,” he mumbles. “Everything was perfect, and I still held you last night and woke up married to you. So you didn’t ruin anything.”

“Did we even have sex on our wedding night?” Alex asks as a smirk comes across his face. John is amazed at the quick change of emotions.

John shakes his head. “You were so intoxicated you wouldn’t have been able to get it up.” Alex blushes, or so John thinks. He could be feeling sick again, John hopes he’s not going to be sick again. John hates the sound of people throwing up.

“See, I did ruin our night.”

“Alex, baby, I didn’t marry you so we could fuck just one night. Considering we’ve fucked plenty of times before.”

“Speaking of, have you heard from you parents?” Alex asks as his eyes slip shut.

“I’m sure Marlee is fine,” John tries to assure Alex, rubbing his back gently.

“You haven’t even called?” Alex exclaims as he shoots up from his kneeling position. He immediately regrets that action though as his head starts to spin, and he stumbles backwards toward the counter in the bathroom.

John laughs at him. “God, I married an idiot,” he grumbles.

“At least I would’ve called and asked about our daughter!” Alex tells John as he makes his way out into the hotel room.

“She’s five year sold, I’m sure she’s fine,” John replies with an eye roll to go along with his statement.

Except, John finds out Marlee is in fact not fine. She refused to sleep and is throwing a temper tantrum because she wants Alex. To say she was attached to Alex was an understatement.

Alex sighs heavily as he text John’s mom an apology telling her he’s going to shower and then be over. They had to go over anyway because they were opening their wedding gifts with all of their family and some friends.

John doesn’t think they should hurry over. He thinks that shower sex would be great. He makes it clear by stepping into the shower after Alex has started. He immediately kisses Alex’s neck and Alex has to bite down on his lip.

“Stop John,” Alex instructs.

“Don’t you want to make up for last night?” John asks as he kisses Alex’s shoulder, and then bites down on the skin.

Alex pulls away from his husband, after letting him suck on his skin for a few moments. “But, you told me it was okay,” he says with a glare.

John smiles at Alex. “It is. But, we’re only childless until we go to my parents. We should take advantage of this.”

Alex thinks for a second, because they should. They were still able to have sex after Marlee was born, but it was nowhere near as often as before. But, their daughter has been throwing a fit at John’s parents and Alex feels bad about that. So he declines by shaking his head and saying, “we can’t.”

John rolls his eyes and steps out of the shower, having showered the night before. So he walked back into the bedroom and started to pack his things.

Alex finishes showering as quickly as possible and then without speaking to JOhn, packs his things and walks out of the hotel room. John follows moments later.

“Are we fighting?” He asks as they walk to the elevator, each rolling a suitcase behind them. Alex shrugs as he presses the elevator button to go down to the lobby.

Once the elevator arrives, they’re the only two in it, so John decides to whatever hissy fit his husband is having, and kisses him, pressing him against the elevator wall. Alex doesn’t resist or refuse to grant John permission to deepen the kiss and parts his lips.

So they make out on the way down to the hotel lobby. John’s suitcase falls over after he let go of it to cup Alex’s face.

When they pull apart, both are panting and Alex smiles. “I love you,” he tells John. “And shouldn’t have skipped the sex.”

John chuckles. “That’s what I thought.” To which Alex’s playfully slaps his arm.

The drive to John’s parents is about 45 minutes and they make small talk along the way, holding hands the entire time. John’s grip gets tighter when his road rage gets out of control after a car cuts him off to quickly get to the exit ramp they were going to miss. John hates other drivers, but Alex hates driving, so John always drives when they’re going somewhere.

When they finally get to John’s parents, Alex barely waits for John to put the car in park before he jumps out and sprints to the door. If you ask John, Alex is just as attached to Marlee as she is him.

Inside John finds Alex holding the five-year-old, and calming her down. It isn’t that John isn’t attached to her, he just knows she likes Alex better. Probably because Alex is a huge pushover and she never gets yelled at by him. Alex smiles at John when he sees him staring.

“You look like this is the first time you’ve seen me hold our daughter,” Alex comments.

John shrugs, because he didn’t even realize he was looking any different than normal. He walks over to the two and kisses Marlee’s head. “Hi, Mar,” he says as she hides her face in Alex’s neck.

“Where’s my kiss?” Alex asks with a pout on his face.

John shrugs. “None for you.”

Alex continues to pout and stomps his feet, which causes Marlee to giggle. “But! I’m your husband. I deserve kisses.”

“You say that like it’s awful to be married to me.” As John says his statement, his parents walk in from somewhere else in the house. John had totally forgotten to say hello or to thank them.

“Everyone will be arriving soon,” John’s mother informs the newly married couple.

John nods. “Okay. Thanks again for keeping Mar. Sorry she decided to throw a tantrum.” John’s mother just smiles as the doorbell rings. John truly feels bad that his daughter acted like a brat.

Over the next half hour people arrive at John’s parents and congratulate the couple again. John is so sick of thanking people and constantly smiling. He is ready for the day to be over and done with. Once everyone who was invited over arrives the group sits down to eat lunch. They talk about the previous night and how cute Marlee looked in her little dress.

Jack talks about how drunk he got Alex, which doesn’t please John or Alex’s parents, so Alex kicks Jack under the table, and Jack’s boyfriend, Matt, slaps his arm. (John had introduced Matt to Jack. Matt was John’s best friend in college, before he dropped out because he got pregnant with Marlee.)

After the food was cleaned up, John and Alex were sitting in front of their family and some friends, who were scattered around the living room. Alex has a huge smile on his face because he is so excited to open presents from everyone. He had told John when their parents told them they had to do this that he got to open anything with wrapping paper. John didn’t protest, because he knew Alex was like a little kid when it came to presents.

Alex opens presents, and the couple ends up getting gifts a newly married couple would receive. And most things they don’t even need, because they already live together, and have done so since Alex graduated college three years ago.

When Alex gets to a present marked “From you best friend (;” he stops smiling. Something about the label makes Alex not want to open the package in front of everyone, especially his and John’s parents, and their daughter.

John notices his hesitation and leans over to see the package label, getting a feeling of why Alex has hesitated. John feels the same, if he’s honest. And that feeling is only further confirmed when looking at Jack who has a huge smile on his face, and Matt is hanging his head.

“Well, open it!” John’s mom encourages, and the newlyweds wish she wouldn’t be so enthusiastic.

Alex looks at John and gives a small barely there nod as he starts to rip the wrapping paper off of the gift. He’s in absolute shock when he finishes opening the gift and it’s just a box. If he had to guess what the was it would’ve been along the lines of some type of sex toy.

“What is it?” Alex’s mom asks from the other side of the room.

“I have to open the box, mom,” Alex informs her as he flips the box over, to reveal the tab that he has to pull out of the box to then open then open the flap of it to expose the contents inside.

What Alex pulls out of the box confuses him and John, more than Alex already was confused. He pulls out two wooden spoons and two spatulas. Alex and John both look up at Jack who’s smile has grown.

“Read them!” Jack yells at Alex.

Alex is a hundred percent sure he’s never seen jack smile so much, which is what makes Alex know he’ll hate Jack for the gift. Jack does not disappoint. When Alex flips the items over, he reads them and turns red.

Alex’s mom asks what they say and Alex just shakes his head and shoves the gifts at John. John takes them and read them, then laughs.

When Alex’s mom asks again, his face gets even redder. John hasn’t stopped laughing. “Kitchen and Bedroom,” John says still laughing some.

Alex has zero idea how John finds the gift funny, so he hits his arm. “Don’t encourage Jack!” Alex tells his husband.

John tries to stop laughing by biting his lip. “It’s funny,” he mumbles after a few moments, kissing Alex’s cheek.

“It’s so you don’t get spicy in the bedroom and then try to use those same items in the kitchen when you cook,” Jack pipes up.

Alex hides his face in his hands because he cannot believe his best friend. He wants to tell Jack that it’s gross and unnecessary, but he doesn’t have a chance because his husband decides to continue to encourage Jack’s behavior.

“I’m sure both will get plenty of use, thank you, Jack,” John says as he lightly his Alex’s thigh with the spatula marked ‘bedroom.’

Alex’s face stays red and he wants to run out of the room because his whole family is sitting in the room. Alex snaps his head up because his daughter is in the room and no five-year-old should be subjected to hearing what was just said. But, much to Alex’s relief, Marlee is sleeping in his mother’s lap.

THankfully there are only a few more presents for the two to open, and none are too embarrassing. Alex’s favorite gift is from their parents, who bought them a trip to Spain for their honeymoon. THe couple wasn’t going to take a trip because of Marlee; but, included with the plane tickets is a note that says Marlee isn’t invited.

John’s favorite gift is from Matt. The gift is two pictures, one of just Alex and John from the night they got engaged, and the other is of them with Marlee on the first day she was brought home. The pictures are printed on a canvas and John almost cries at how nice they are.

“Thank you for having an appropriate gift,” Alex says to Matt after the presents are all open, and Matt and Jack are getting ready to leave.

Matt pats Alex’s shoulder. “Sorry. I tried to tell him not to.”

John rolls his eyes at his husband and best friend, and tries to defend Jack. “It was funny!”

Alex shakes his head. “It was not! Not to open in front of our families!”

John shrugs. “Your mom thought it was funny and it’s no secret that we’ve had sex. Considering there is a little girl running around.”

Alex face flushes red. “Oh my god, shut the hell up,” he mumbles as he covers his eyes with his hand.

“It’s like you’re embarrassed by me or something,” John pouts, even though he knows Alex isn’t.

People start coming up to them to say goodbye, and after another hour, John has their SVU packed full of gifts and food, and Alex is placing Marlee in her carseat.

“Thanks again,” John says to his mom as he slams the trunk gate shut. He walks over to her and gives her a quick hug.

“We’ll pick Marlee up on Tuesday night,” his mom tells him.

John nods. “Okay. Hopefully she’ll be better this time.”

His mom gives a small laugh. “She’ll be fine, just make sure you keep telling her you’re both leaving.”

“Okay. We’ll see you then. Love you,” John tells his mom as he gives her another hug.



On Wednesday, when ALex is unpacking John’s suitcase at the hotel while John showers, he gets the sudden urge to yell at his husband.

When John exits the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist, he finds Alex with a glare on his face. He sees Alex holding his ‘surprise.’

“Why would you even bring these?” Alex asks his husband, holding the spoon and spatula, both marked ‘bedroom,’ up for John to see what he’s talking about.

John drops the towel and walks over to the other male. “Because now is the perfect time to try them out.”

Alex doesn’t drop the glare, and doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that John is naked in front of him. “We’re not using these!”

“Why?” John asks, his voice lower than normal. “I’ve been bad,” he tells Alex before leaning down and kissing his husband.

Alex basically melts when John kisses him, and even though Alex isn’t really into wanting to use the items, he will, to make John happy.