30 Days

Close your eyes you'll be mine and it's alright.
Take a breath no rest till the sunrise.
Heartbeat so sweet, when your lips touch mine…”
- Kiss Me Kiss Me, 5 Seconds of Summer.

“Jack, it’s too early,” Alex whined from next to me, “Why have you got me up?”

I tugged on his hand, making him walk a little quicker, and said, “Because I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“Is it a bed?” He asked, letting me pull him along, “Because I’m sleepy.”

“No it isn’t.” I laughed. Alex was not a morning person, “But it is better.”

“How can it be better than a bed?”

“Trust me, it is.” I insisted, glancing at the rapidly lightening sky. We needed to hurry if we were going to be in time to see it.

In a few minutes, we had climbed the hill near school and were sitting on one of the blankets I had brought.

“Why are we here?” Alex said, looking out towards the horizon just as the sun began to rise, “Oh fuck. Wow.”

I smiled. I knew that this would be a good idea, despite the whining that Alex had done getting here. It was so worth getting up early, if only to see the expression on Alex’s face as the sun rose. The sunlight lit up Alex’s newly dyed pink fringe perfectly, but of course I was biased, and his eyes shone as they looked at me.

Hang on…looked at me? Why was he looking at me? The whole idea of this was so that…oh.

Suddenly, I had no idea where that thought was going because Alex’s lips had brushed against my cheek so softly that I doubted they had been there at all.

A small smile appeared on Alex’s face and he said, “That was ok then?”

“I…yes, it was… It…was…” I stuttered. I’d had a lot of dreams about what Alex’s lips would feel like against my skin, but now that it had happened, my mind was in a whirl. I couldn’t focus on one topic, my hand coming up to stroke my cheek involuntarily.

“Good, because I wasn’t sure if you’d like it.” Alex said, looking at his hands, which he was twisting rapidly.

I was still in shock – pure and utter shock – that Alex had kissed me of his own free will, but even so, I knew that something was up.

“What’s up?” I asked, taking one of his hands in mine and running my fingers gently over his palm.

“It’s just, that since you started this ‘courting’ thing,” He began, glancing at me briefly before returning his gaze to the horizon, “I don’t know what to do when I’m with you.”

I could see how hard this was for him to articulate, so I let him talk at his own pace and didn’t try to encourage him.

“It’s like you’re my best friend, but at the same time you’re not. You’re something else, that’s out of my reach, even if you are trying to win me over.” Alex shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Oh yeah?” I said, nudging him with a shoulder, trying to lift Alex out of this mood he’d got himself into, “I’m ‘out of your reach’ you say?”

“Well, my brain thinks so at any rate.”

“Tell your brain that it can fuck off where I’m concerned,” I said, “Because I’m gonna continue to try to win you over till Christmas. You don’t have to make a decision here and now. You can do that later on.”

I stood up, holding out a hand to Alex. He grabbed it and let me pull him up. After gathering all the blanket, we began to walk back towards Alex’s house. On the way there, I casually slipped my free hand into Alex’s and held it all the way back, without him pulling away.