Plus One

Jude and I spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies on the hotel TV. Everything was in Spanish, so we turned on the subtitles and tried to pay attention. Mostly, though, we just talked. We discussed our families, friends, where we went to college, our majors, and our current jobs. I discovered that even though we were radically different, he was interesting to talk to. And while I was glad that we were getting along so well, I knew Leanne would be insufferable once she found out that I actually ended up getting to know/liking Jude.

We changed into our clothes for the rehearsal dinner. Even though Jude wasn’t in the wedding party, he was still coming with me as my date. I put on my outfit, a sleeveless navy blue dress and some white heels, and put my hair half-up, half-down. Jude changed into a navy blue dress shirt, khaki pants, and boat shoes.

He stared at me when I came out of the bathroom after curling my hair. “What?” I said, feeling somewhat self-conscious.

“Nothing,” he said. “You look, um, really nice.”

“Oh. Thanks. You too,” I said, embarrassed but pleased. Now that we were getting along, I was able to fully appreciate how attractive he was too.

We stood side-by-side in the mirror, looking at ourselves. “Should I take out my lip ring?” he asked. I blinked. Somehow I’d become so used to it that I’d forgotten he had it. It was funny to think that at one point I hated it.

“If you want,” I said with a shrug. Jude nodded and removed it. “Here, I’ll put it in my purse,” I offered. He handed it to me, and I carefully put it in a hidden pocket in my purse.

A knock on our door told us that Leanne and Oliver were here. “Ready?”

“Yup.”

Jude opened the door and we were greeted by our friends’ anxious faces. “Hi,” Leanne said, smiling hopefully. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Jude said. He offered his arm to me. “Shall we, darling?”

I accepted it. “We shall, dear.” Leanne and Oliver looked like someone had hit them over the head with a giant club. They stared at us as we skipped out of the room, laughing.

“So . . . how was your day?” Oliver asked finally.

“Good,” I answered. “Yours?”

“Fine,” Leanne said uncertainly. “What’d you guys do?”

“Oh . . . we went ziplining.”

The two of them exchanged glances. “Ziplining,” Leanne repeated. “Really.”

“Yep.”

“But you hate heights,” Leanne pointed out.

“Yes,” I agreed.

“I found that out the hard way,” Jude added. We both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Leanne and Oliver were looking more bewildered by the second. “Are you guys drunk?” Leanne asked finally.

“Nope,” I answered cheerfully. “Ready to go?”

“Sure.” The four of us headed downstairs and met the rest of the wedding party in the lobby.

“There you all are,” Hana said when she saw us. “Our cars are here! We’ve paired everybody up so we wouldn’t have to rent as many.” She began to list off names of who would be riding with who. I figured Leanne, Oliver, Jude, and I would be together, so I didn’t really pay attention.

Suddenly, Hana announced, “Michaela, you and Jude will be riding with Marcus and me. And that’s it. Okay, we’ll see you all at the restaurant!”

“Wait, what?” I said, caught off guard.

“We’re riding with Hana and Marcus,” Jude informed me grimly. Leanne looked just as shocked as I felt.

“But — but —” I tried to protest as Jude steered me over to where they were waiting.

“Is something wrong?” Hana asked, concerned.

“No, I —” I tried to think of something to say. “I was just expecting to be paired with Leanne and Oliver. I’m just surprised.” Truthfully, I was pissed. Hana knew Marcus and I had a rocky past, she knew this entire thing made me uncomfortable as fuck. And she paired us anyway. I’d always known she had a bitchy side.

“Oh,” Hana said, and she seemed genuinely troubled. “I didn’t realize, I’m sorry. I just thought it would be nice for all of us to ride together and I wanted to get to know Jude a little more.”

I opened my mouth, but then Jude spoke up. “No problem at all, Hana. We’re happy to ride with you. Just threw us a curveball, that’s all.” He nudged me. “It’ll be good for you and Leanne to spend some time apart, anyway. You guys are always getting into shit.”

“We are not,” I said defiantly. He rolled his eyes. I wondered how he could think so fast on his feet, but I was glad he did.

“Perfect,” Hana said happily. “Let’s go.” She turned to leave the hotel. Jude started to follow, but stopped once he realized I hadn’t moved. “You okay?”

I looked at him, nervously biting my lip and trying my hardest to control the knot in my gut. “I don’t think I can.”

“It’s either this or we walk,” Jude said with a shrug. “C’mon, have some faith in me.” He held out his hand. After some hesitation, I took it, and he led me outside to where Marcus and Hana were waiting by the car. As we got nearer, he threaded our fingers together, squeezing lightly.

We got into the car, and unfortunately, Marcus and I ended up sitting next to each other, squished between Hana and Jude. “Cozy,” Marcus said awkwardly. I forced a laugh, trying not to let on how uncomfortable I felt. I moved as close to Jude as I could until I was practically molding myself into his side. He raised his eyebrows at me but said nothing.

The drive to the restaurant was silent. I pretended not to notice Marcus and Hana’s interlocked fingers balancing on her knee, but it was hard not to. I allowed myself to glance at them a few times before I finally forced myself to stare straight ahead.

Suddenly, Jude reached out and placed his hand on my thigh. It wasn’t too far up, just slightly above my knee, but it still made me stiffen a little. I looked up at him, and he merely offered a closed-mouth smile at me, like this was something we did regularly. I forced myself to relax, and he left his hand there, drumming on it slightly.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I got out of the car all too eagerly, only to nearly fall down due to the pins and needles in my right foot. “Being packed in that stupid car made my foot fall asleep,” I complained. Marcus and Hana had gone ahead to check in, so I wasn’t worried about them overhearing me.

Jude watched me limp towards him, an amused expression on his face. “Can you make it?” he asked teasingly.

“Don’t think so. I’ll just have to go back to the hotel and lie down. Oh no.”

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Come on.” He turned and squatted down a little bit.

“What are you doing?”

“Get on, I’ll carry you.”

“Jude, you can’t be serious.”

“Can’t I?”

“I’ll — I’m too heavy.”

I couldn’t see him, but I knew the exact face he was making. “Would you just get on? It’ll be fun.”

“I — oh, for God’s sake.” I went over and awkwardly climbed onto his back, trying not to hold onto him. When he stood up, though, I nearly fell backwards. “Jesus! Jude, put me down!”

“You’re fine,” he said patiently. “You just need to hold onto me.” When I didn’t move, he said, “Michaela, for fuck’s sake, I’m not gonna bite you. I’m your boyfriend, remember? Hold onto me.”

“Right. Right. Okay.” I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his neck. “Is this better?”

“I dunno, is it?” Suddenly Jude spun around, and I shrieked, tightening my arms around him even more.

“Jude!” But he was laughing as he took off running towards the entrance, occasionally pausing to zig-zag or spin around in a circle, and soon I was laughing, too. We made it into the restaurant and found our friends.

“There you are,” Hana said. “You guys are over on this end.” She motioned to where she, Marcus, Leanne, and Oliver were sitting. I privately wondered why we always had to sit near them, but figured it was probably Priya and Lily’s old seats.

I went to get down, but Jude hung onto my legs, carrying me over to our seats and depositing me into mine. I expected it to go terribly, but he slid me off of him and into the chair effortlessly. “I take it you guys enter every restaurant this way?” Marcus asked.

I shrugged. “Sometimes I carry him.” Jude laughed as he sat next to me. Leanne and Oliver were staring again, like they were trying to figure out who we were.

Dinner was delicious. Leanne and I both got the vegetarian tlayuda that the restaurant offered, while Jude had the catch of the day. I was enjoying my own food, but couldn’t help sneaking peeks at his.

He noticed me looking. “What?”

“Nothing,” I said innocently. “It looks good.”

He rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, “You want to try some, babe?”

“Aw, thanks,” I cooed. But before I could lift my fork, he’d scooped some up onto his and was bringing it towards my mouth. Instinctively, I opened my mouth and let him feed it to me. I felt Leanne bump my knee under the table, but I ignored her, feeling acutely aware of everyone’s eyes on me as I chewed and swallowed, including Marcus’s. His in particular felt like they were burning.

Jude was watching me, waiting. “Good?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I smiled weakly. “Yeah, really good.”

Dinner was uneventful aside from that. Hana’s mother got up and made sure that we all knew what order we’d be walking in down the aisle tomorrow and where we’d be standing at the altar. I watched Hana lean into Marcus happily as he kissed her head and tried to instead focus on Jude’s arm around me.

Hana’s parents and grandparents left the restaurant not long after, deciding to go back to the hotel to get some sleep, but the rest of the wedding party stayed to order drinks and listen to the live band that was playing. Their music was fast and lively, and it made me feel like my insides were buzzing, too.

I leaned my head on Jude’s shoulder, feeling happy and a little drunk. “I like dating you,” I said with a sigh. “I didn’t think I would, but I do.”

“Yeah?” he said, sounding a little shy but pleased.

“Yeah. We make a good fake dating team.” I kept my voice low so no one but him would hear me.

“We sure do.” Jude leaned down and kissed my forehead, the first real sign of affection either of us had ever shown for the other. I looked up at him and realized that his face was like, right there.

“Hey,” I said quietly.

“Hey.”

I knew I should move my head back and act like everything was normal, but part of me, a larger, louder part of me that had been there from the beginning, really wanted to kiss him. And as soon as that thought popped into my head, I couldn’t get it out.

Suddenly, Leanne said, “Mick?” and just like that, the spell was broken. I sat up straight, blinking, and Jude turned away, pretending to be interested in the wall.

“Yeah?”

“We’re all getting ready to leave,” Leanne said slowly. I looked around and saw everyone else standing up and starting towards the door. “It’s getting late.”

“Oh, right,” I agreed quickly. I stood up and practically sprinted to where Hana and Marcus were waiting, Jude keeping a far distance between us.

The ride back to the hotel was just as silent and uncomfortable as it had been before, except this time, Jude kept his hands in his lap, staring straight ahead. I felt a knot form in my stomach as I realized that we’d have to figure out what our sleeping situation was going to be. He’d slept in my bed last night, but we were both drunker then than we were currently.

We got back to the hotel and rode the elevator up to our floor. “See you guys in the morning,” Leanne said as she and Oliver went into their room.

“Yeah, see you,” I said weakly. Jude didn’t say anything. Leanne shot me a questioning look, something she seemed to be doing a lot lately, but I waved her off. I didn’t want to worry her.

We went into our own room and Jude immediately disappeared in the bathroom to change. I quickly did the same, not wanting him to come out while I was half-dressed. I waited for him to come out of the bathroom, and when he did, he merely brushed by me silently.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth before coming back out and finding all of the lights off except for the lamp next to the bed. Jude was lying on the couch with one of the bed pillows propped up under his head and a blanket barely covering his feet.

“You’re sleeping on the couch?” I said, and instantly cursed myself for asking. That had been the original plan all along. Why wouldn’t he be?

“Yeah,” Jude said, and it was hard to see him, but his voice sounded uneasy.

“Okay,” I said, trying not to sound too concerned.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said. “To, uh, sleep in the bed,” he added quickly.

Part of me wanted to know why, but instead I just repeated, “Okay.”

“I’m not your boyfriend, okay?” Jude continued. “I’m not anyone’s boyfriend. I don’t do stuff like that. And doing this — holding your hand, carrying you, being your boyfriend — it’s all fake, but sometimes it feels like it isn’t. And so we just need to have boundaries. I like being your friend, and when we’re around people I’ll be your boyfriend, but that’s it. And when we go back home, that’ll still be it.”

“I know you’re not my boyfriend,” I said finally. He looked at me like he was waiting for me to go on, but I didn’t. I merely got into bed and turned out the light, surrounding us in complete darkness.

We were both quiet for a while, so I figured maybe he’d fallen asleep already. But then he said, “Tonight at the restaurant — I wanted to kiss you more than anything.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just laid there, my heart beating so hard I was afraid it would burst out of my chest. What did this mean? What was happening? Just this morning Jude and I had hated each other’s guts, and now he was admitting to wanting to kiss me? This situation was supposed to be so easy, so cut-and-dry: Jude and I went to the wedding together, and then went home and never spoke again. It was becoming harder and harder to control, and I felt lost.

All I could say was, “Goodnight, Jude.”

There was a pause. Then he said, “Goodnight, Michaela.” And neither of us spoke again.