Start Up
Chapter 1
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” I asked letting out a small laugh. It was an uneasy laugh, a laugh that you used when you didn’t want to believe something. A laugh you used to try and make a serious situation light.
“I’m just leaving” he said, straight faced. He had his hands in his pockets and he was standing tall and straight. He was not moving and he was not flinching, he wanted me to know that his mind was made and he was planted.
“So that’s it then, you’re just leaving. No talking about things, not even asking how I feel about it?” I said crossing my arms and leaning to one side, the movement was filled with attitude.
“What’s there to talk about?” he asked. I just scoffed at him and smiled in frustration. It wasn’t even smiling, my face didn’t know what to do. I could feel my mouth trying to pull into a frown but my body was so confused that it was in a weird smirk. It didn’t know how to feel or what to do in response. I could feel tears start to well in my eyes and I tried desperately to blink them away while still trying to act like I was pissed at him. Pissed in the sense that I didn’t care, but I did. I cared so much.
“Don’t cry, we haven’t even been together for very long. You’ll be over it in a week” he just said flatly. It was as though he really didn’t understand how someone could possibly be upset with this situation. He just couldn’t understand how his girlfriend of 6 months could possibly be upset with him showing up on her doorstep saying that he was leaving the next day.
“What?” I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I broke, I cried and I let my arms dangle at my sides. I was frustrated and at the same time just absolutely confused. Things had been fine, we had just talked on the phone the other day and things seemed fine.
“There’s a great opportunity for me and I’m taking it. It’s important, I hope you’ll understand,” he said. He almost smirked at that last part. Almost like he was trying to be sarcastic about it. I was standing in my doorway in the snow crying in front of him as he told me he was leaving me out of the blue and he honestly couldn’t be bothered.
“Why?” I whispered. I’m not even sure if sound came out, I was replaying the past months in my head. They were happy, we laughed and we spent practically every weekend at each others places. We had gone through the awkward meet the parents moments and the equally as uncomfortable bump into the ex on the street moments. We had danced in my empty studio apartment with nothing but some moonlight coming in through the window and a futon in the corner. We had tried to play Cards Against Humanity one night at his place just the two of us and had burst into a fit of drunken laughter at how stupid it was.
“What do you mean why? I just told you,” he said. He was so monotone and so rigid. It didn’t seem like him at all but then again at this point what did I really know.
“So this is it? You’re just leaving?” I asked trying to compose myself.
“Well I mean I came to say goodbye” he said shrugging.
“Oh ok, well then excuse me. That makes it all ok” I spat. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head, the only movement he’d made since being on my doorstep.
“Don’t be like this” he sighed. Again I scoffed.
“Is there anything I can say or do to make you stay?” I asked tears still rolling down my cheeks practically leaving ice trails down my face.
“No” he stated.
“Then there’s nothing more to talk about I guess, I’ll leave your shit out in the snow” I said slamming the door behind me.
“I’m just leaving” he said, straight faced. He had his hands in his pockets and he was standing tall and straight. He was not moving and he was not flinching, he wanted me to know that his mind was made and he was planted.
“So that’s it then, you’re just leaving. No talking about things, not even asking how I feel about it?” I said crossing my arms and leaning to one side, the movement was filled with attitude.
“What’s there to talk about?” he asked. I just scoffed at him and smiled in frustration. It wasn’t even smiling, my face didn’t know what to do. I could feel my mouth trying to pull into a frown but my body was so confused that it was in a weird smirk. It didn’t know how to feel or what to do in response. I could feel tears start to well in my eyes and I tried desperately to blink them away while still trying to act like I was pissed at him. Pissed in the sense that I didn’t care, but I did. I cared so much.
“Don’t cry, we haven’t even been together for very long. You’ll be over it in a week” he just said flatly. It was as though he really didn’t understand how someone could possibly be upset with this situation. He just couldn’t understand how his girlfriend of 6 months could possibly be upset with him showing up on her doorstep saying that he was leaving the next day.
“What?” I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I broke, I cried and I let my arms dangle at my sides. I was frustrated and at the same time just absolutely confused. Things had been fine, we had just talked on the phone the other day and things seemed fine.
“There’s a great opportunity for me and I’m taking it. It’s important, I hope you’ll understand,” he said. He almost smirked at that last part. Almost like he was trying to be sarcastic about it. I was standing in my doorway in the snow crying in front of him as he told me he was leaving me out of the blue and he honestly couldn’t be bothered.
“Why?” I whispered. I’m not even sure if sound came out, I was replaying the past months in my head. They were happy, we laughed and we spent practically every weekend at each others places. We had gone through the awkward meet the parents moments and the equally as uncomfortable bump into the ex on the street moments. We had danced in my empty studio apartment with nothing but some moonlight coming in through the window and a futon in the corner. We had tried to play Cards Against Humanity one night at his place just the two of us and had burst into a fit of drunken laughter at how stupid it was.
“What do you mean why? I just told you,” he said. He was so monotone and so rigid. It didn’t seem like him at all but then again at this point what did I really know.
“So this is it? You’re just leaving?” I asked trying to compose myself.
“Well I mean I came to say goodbye” he said shrugging.
“Oh ok, well then excuse me. That makes it all ok” I spat. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head, the only movement he’d made since being on my doorstep.
“Don’t be like this” he sighed. Again I scoffed.
“Is there anything I can say or do to make you stay?” I asked tears still rolling down my cheeks practically leaving ice trails down my face.
“No” he stated.
“Then there’s nothing more to talk about I guess, I’ll leave your shit out in the snow” I said slamming the door behind me.