You Left Me.
Three.
The 2 weeks had been stressful, and I hadn't had any time to sit and talk privately with any of the 5SOS boys, nonetheless with Ashton in particular. We hadn't been alone at any point and by the time I'd get home and get the kids down after the days with Harry and the guys, I'd be so tired I'd fall asleep immediately.
I don't know what Ashton and I were. I never really understood it. All I had ever known is that we liked each other, and that neither of us had done anything with anyone else while we had been a "thing".
Which is why it confused me a little when Ashton had sent me a text saying we "needed to talk". I told him I'd come over to his place later. Talia said she and Niall would watch the kids and get them to bed and I was able to leave about an hour and a half earlier than I had told Ashton I would.
I got into my car and cranked up the music as I drove to Ashton's. I tried not to think about what he was going to say, or how I was going to react to it.
When I got to his house, there was another car parked in his driveway. I parked on the street and got out. I opened the front door and stayed quiet. I walked around the house and looked around the bottom floor, there was no one. So I went up the stairs to the top floor where Ashton's bedroom was.
And that's when I heard it. That's when my heart fell into my stomach and then my stomach fell out of my ass.
I just stood outside of his bedroom door, staring at the wood as tears swelled in my eyes.
The noises from the other side of the door stopped, and I took a step back. The floor creaked loud and I immediately ran downstairs. I heard his bedroom door open just before I opened the front door.
I got into my car as fast as I could and drove back home. I parked in the garage, in hopes that if Ashton showed up there, he'd believe Talia if she told him I wasn't home.
I ran inside and fell to my knees as soon as I got inside the door and started to cry.
"Sam?" I heard Talia say.
She ran up to me.
"Sam what happened?" she asked as she pulled me up off the floor.
"I heard- I heard him-" I was hyperventilating and couldn't catch a breath.
"Sam breathe," she said.
"The others are here," Niall said, "Let's get her to the couch."
They got me over to the couch and the rest of One Direction, Gemma and the 5SOS guys except for Ashton came in.
"Whoa whoa whoa," Harry said as soon as he saw Talia holding a paper bag over my mouth so I could try and calm my breathing, "What the fuck happened?"
"My guess from the 5 words she's managed to get out is that she heard Ashton having sex with someone when she went over to his house because he said he needed to talk to her," Talia said with her jaw clenched.
"What?!" everyone said.
"I'm going to fucking kill him," Michael said.
I pushed Talia's hand and the bag away and stood up.
"Michael no," I said.
"I told him Sam. We all fucking told him that if he hurt you he was getting punched," Michael said.
"I'm fine," I said, wiping beneath my eyes, "See? I'm fine. I'm not hurt. Momentarily upset, yes. But if I have learned anything in the last 7 years of my life, it's that I like the pretty ones, and I tend to get hurt by the pretty ones. Ashton wanted to make him and I a real thing, and I'm the one who kept saying no. If anything, I hurt him."
"I don't get it," Louis said, "How could you have hurt him?"
"I let Harry back in."
"For the kids," Liam said.
"That's what you guys see. But what Ashton sees, is that I stopped communicating with him, I stopped spending time with him, hell I stopped touching him except for hugging him as soon as I saw Harry. He sees that I let Harry back into my head and into my heart, not just into my life as a father to my kids."
"It doesn't make what he did right Sam," Luke said.
"Well, we can't change it now can we?" I asked.
The front door open and Ashton ran in.
"Boys, sit," I said to everyone.
The guys all sat down and held their tongues.
"Let's go out back Ashton," I said.
He stayed silent and nodded. As he walked past Gemma she grabbed his arm and he turned towards her. She smacked him across the face.
"Gemma!" Harry and I both yelled.
"Sorry, sorry, over protective, I'll sit down," she said before sitting down.
Ashton held onto his cheek and just walked outside.
We both sat down.
He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.
"Ashton, I don't need you to say anything anymore. Because I think that it's my turn right now," I said.
He nodded.
"We're moving back to London," I said.
"What? Why? Because of what I did?"
"Because I talked to Effy when we got home today, I told her it was time to decide what she wanted to do. If she wants Harry to stay around or if she isn't feeling it. I haven't told anyone this, not even Talia. She says she wants us to live with Harry, or at least close to him so she can see him more often. So we're going to move back to London."
"Oh..."
"That's all I really have to say anymore Ashton. I'm sorry that this is how things had to happen with us. But it wasn't really my decision."
"I know. I'm sorry."
I patted his knee before getting up and saying, "Yeah, me too Ash."
I walked inside. Ashton left by going around the side of the house.
"So uh," I said, "I have an announcement to make."
"Oh God you're pregnant again," Calum said.
"What? No," I said, "Not at all. What the hell."
"Sorry. What is it?"
"I talked to Effy earlier when we got home. About you know, this whole situation with Harry."
"Oh God you're going back to London," Luke said.
I bit down on my lower lip, "She said she really loves Harry and she wants to be closer to him so she can see him more. I called my parents about it already. It's being set up as we speak."
"I know you boys are sad about this but I'm so excited," Gemma said with her hands over her mouth.
The 3 boys came over to me, Calum sat on one side, Luke on the other and Michael sat right across my lap and they all hugged me.
"We'll come and visit you whenever we're in London and we'll miss you but we know that this is what's best for you and the little monkey's and we just want you to be happy," Michael said.
"Thank you baby boy," I said to him, "We'll miss you too. You guys can Skype the kids whenever you want to."
"Oh we will, everyday," Calum said.
"That's fine," I laughed.
"Come here Talia we're gonna miss you too," Luke said.
Talia came over and got into the group hug.
"Well the rest of us are lonely now," Zayn said.
"Screw it I'm going in," Louis said.
Soon, everyone was piling on top of us.
Zayn left the next day like planned, but the rest of the guys and Gemma stayed to help us pack up everything we were taking with us to London. After a couple of days, Ashton came around to help us finish up.
We sat out back while the others emptied out the last things from the house.
"I'm really sorry Sam," Ashton said.
I shook my head, "Ashton I don't need you to apologize. It wouldn't have worked anyways. Not with us going back to London."
"I know," he said, "I just wish it didn't happen the way it did. I was so stupid and I was just upset about Harry being back around and getting all of the attention."
"I know you were. I understand that. I'm not holding this against you at all."
"You should."
"I shouldn't. What do I get out of that? What do I get out of holding a grudge against someone? I don't get anything but toxicity from that. And I don't need that."
He nodded.
"We're friends Ash. Just as we were for a long time before anything happened."
"Yeah, we're friends."
I stood up and held my hand out to him. He took it and I pulled him up off the ground. I hugged him and he lifted me off the ground as he hugged me.
"Ready?" Harry asked as he set me down, "Got to get going to the airport now."
"Yeah," I nodded, "I'm ready."
Zayn took a regular flight, while the jet was delayed for the rest of us. We all piled into cars and were driven to the jet.
Our goodbyes had some tears to go along with them, but we knew that with the boys touring so much that it wouldn't be the last time we saw each other.
Once we were in the air, the kids were tired. We sat on two chairs with the arm rests pulled up. Harry in the middle of the kids, Effy on his left and Alex on his right, and I was to the right of Alex. The kids were both resting their heads on Harry when they fell asleep.
"Oh my God it's so cute," Robyn said quietly, "It's so cute I feel like I'm going to cry oh my God."
Harry smiled at me and I rested my head on his shoulder.
I must have fallen asleep, because I was woken up just before we were going to land when we needed to all buckle up. We woke up the kids and got them into their seats and buckled.
My parents and Harry's were there to greet us, along with Eleanor, Sophia, Zayn and Perrie. Harry's parents had known about the kids all along, but they had never met either of them.
Effy ran to my parents as soon as she got onto the asphalt. I set Alex down on the ground and he held onto my hand as we walked, rather than running. I think he was confused as well as a bit sleepy. Hugs all around were had.
Alex looked at Anne for a long time while we stood there. She looked back at him once she noticed, and then Alex looked at my mom, then back to Anne.
"Are you my gramma too?" he asked.
Alex could form great sentences, he just didn't talk a lot, it was mostly childish screaming and laughing.
Anne put her hand over her mouth in joyous surprise and knelt down to his level after looking at Harry for a moment.
"Yes love, I am," she said.
A smile came over his face and he looked up at me, "Mommy, I have 2 grammas, 2 grampas, a daddy and a bunch of uncles and aunts? What did you do right?"
I laughed, "Sweetie, you have 3 grandpas."
He squealed and clapped, then threw his arms around Anne in a hug.
"I want 50 of those," Perrie said to Zayn.
"Absolutely not," Zayn said, making us all laugh.
Anne carried Alex to the cars and we were all driven to our locations. We were staying with my parent's until everything was set up at our new house, which was conveniently right next to Harry's house. Harry insists he had nothing to do with my parent's finding out about the house being available.
We managed to feed Alex before he fell asleep in Robin's lap on the couch. Harry took him upstairs into the room that Alex and Effy were sharing while we were here and put him to bed while Anne and Effy were talking. I sat beside Talia and put my arm around her shoulders. She rested her head against me.
"I feel like I need to have a cup of earl grey in my hand and be eating a crumpet," she said.
"Pip pip cheerio," I said, making her laugh.
"Can we go sight seeing tomorrow?" she asked.
"Of course my beautiful cousin."
My mum sat next to us while Robyn sat on the other side of Talia. My mum took my free hand in hers and kissed the top of it.
"I'm very proud of you," she said, "I know this was hard for you to deal with at first. But you've gotten past everything very well."
Harry came back in and sat down beside Robin and Gemma.
"And now that we're all gathered here, your mother and I have a very special announcement we'd like to make," Dad said as I took a drink of my water.
"Oh my God did you buy Sam nipples?" Gemma asked.
I started laughing with the water in my mouth and it spilled all over my lap, making everyone else start to laugh.
I looked at Gemma while I laughed and just shook my head at her.
"Alright, now that I've peed myself, what's the announcement?" I asked.
"Uh..." Mum said, "I'm... pregnant."
"Wait a second," Effy said, "Grandma, how can you be pregnant? You're old."
This was another fit of us all laughing.
"Effy, baby girl, grandma is only 36," I said.
"How old were you when you had mommy grandma?" Effy asked.
"I was 15."
"And mommy was 16 when she had me?"
"Yes," Mum nodded.
"So, am I going to be 17 when I have a daughter?"
"No," Harry managed to get it out before any of the rest of us, making us smile.
"Love, you're going to wait until you're married to have a daughter, or a son," I said.
"Right," she nodded, "But can I get married when I'm 17?"
"You can get married when you're 18, maybe," Gemma said.
"Why maybe?"
"Because your dad, your uncles, your other grandpas and I have to approve of who you want to marry and that's going to be a hard mission for anyone brought 'round," Dad said.
Effy sighed, "I guess I'll just have to find a good one."
I smiled, "You will."
She yawned and rubbed her eyes, "So are you having a boy or a girl grandma?"
"I... Am having a boy this time."
"Hallelujah," Dad said, "Far too many girls around here."
"Dad I brought 'round 7 more guys when I reconnected with Harry, how is there too many girls?" I asked.
"Because now on the girls side there's you, your mum, Talia, Robyn, Gemma, Anne, Perrie, Sophia, Eleanor and Effy. That's 10 girls. While there's 8 of us. When we add this little lad into the picture we'll be nearly even."
I rolled my eyes, "You and your being even."
"Equality of the people, my love," he said.
I don't know what Ashton and I were. I never really understood it. All I had ever known is that we liked each other, and that neither of us had done anything with anyone else while we had been a "thing".
Which is why it confused me a little when Ashton had sent me a text saying we "needed to talk". I told him I'd come over to his place later. Talia said she and Niall would watch the kids and get them to bed and I was able to leave about an hour and a half earlier than I had told Ashton I would.
I got into my car and cranked up the music as I drove to Ashton's. I tried not to think about what he was going to say, or how I was going to react to it.
When I got to his house, there was another car parked in his driveway. I parked on the street and got out. I opened the front door and stayed quiet. I walked around the house and looked around the bottom floor, there was no one. So I went up the stairs to the top floor where Ashton's bedroom was.
And that's when I heard it. That's when my heart fell into my stomach and then my stomach fell out of my ass.
I just stood outside of his bedroom door, staring at the wood as tears swelled in my eyes.
The noises from the other side of the door stopped, and I took a step back. The floor creaked loud and I immediately ran downstairs. I heard his bedroom door open just before I opened the front door.
I got into my car as fast as I could and drove back home. I parked in the garage, in hopes that if Ashton showed up there, he'd believe Talia if she told him I wasn't home.
I ran inside and fell to my knees as soon as I got inside the door and started to cry.
"Sam?" I heard Talia say.
She ran up to me.
"Sam what happened?" she asked as she pulled me up off the floor.
"I heard- I heard him-" I was hyperventilating and couldn't catch a breath.
"Sam breathe," she said.
"The others are here," Niall said, "Let's get her to the couch."
They got me over to the couch and the rest of One Direction, Gemma and the 5SOS guys except for Ashton came in.
"Whoa whoa whoa," Harry said as soon as he saw Talia holding a paper bag over my mouth so I could try and calm my breathing, "What the fuck happened?"
"My guess from the 5 words she's managed to get out is that she heard Ashton having sex with someone when she went over to his house because he said he needed to talk to her," Talia said with her jaw clenched.
"What?!" everyone said.
"I'm going to fucking kill him," Michael said.
I pushed Talia's hand and the bag away and stood up.
"Michael no," I said.
"I told him Sam. We all fucking told him that if he hurt you he was getting punched," Michael said.
"I'm fine," I said, wiping beneath my eyes, "See? I'm fine. I'm not hurt. Momentarily upset, yes. But if I have learned anything in the last 7 years of my life, it's that I like the pretty ones, and I tend to get hurt by the pretty ones. Ashton wanted to make him and I a real thing, and I'm the one who kept saying no. If anything, I hurt him."
"I don't get it," Louis said, "How could you have hurt him?"
"I let Harry back in."
"For the kids," Liam said.
"That's what you guys see. But what Ashton sees, is that I stopped communicating with him, I stopped spending time with him, hell I stopped touching him except for hugging him as soon as I saw Harry. He sees that I let Harry back into my head and into my heart, not just into my life as a father to my kids."
"It doesn't make what he did right Sam," Luke said.
"Well, we can't change it now can we?" I asked.
The front door open and Ashton ran in.
"Boys, sit," I said to everyone.
The guys all sat down and held their tongues.
"Let's go out back Ashton," I said.
He stayed silent and nodded. As he walked past Gemma she grabbed his arm and he turned towards her. She smacked him across the face.
"Gemma!" Harry and I both yelled.
"Sorry, sorry, over protective, I'll sit down," she said before sitting down.
Ashton held onto his cheek and just walked outside.
We both sat down.
He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.
"Ashton, I don't need you to say anything anymore. Because I think that it's my turn right now," I said.
He nodded.
"We're moving back to London," I said.
"What? Why? Because of what I did?"
"Because I talked to Effy when we got home today, I told her it was time to decide what she wanted to do. If she wants Harry to stay around or if she isn't feeling it. I haven't told anyone this, not even Talia. She says she wants us to live with Harry, or at least close to him so she can see him more often. So we're going to move back to London."
"Oh..."
"That's all I really have to say anymore Ashton. I'm sorry that this is how things had to happen with us. But it wasn't really my decision."
"I know. I'm sorry."
I patted his knee before getting up and saying, "Yeah, me too Ash."
I walked inside. Ashton left by going around the side of the house.
"So uh," I said, "I have an announcement to make."
"Oh God you're pregnant again," Calum said.
"What? No," I said, "Not at all. What the hell."
"Sorry. What is it?"
"I talked to Effy earlier when we got home. About you know, this whole situation with Harry."
"Oh God you're going back to London," Luke said.
I bit down on my lower lip, "She said she really loves Harry and she wants to be closer to him so she can see him more. I called my parents about it already. It's being set up as we speak."
"I know you boys are sad about this but I'm so excited," Gemma said with her hands over her mouth.
The 3 boys came over to me, Calum sat on one side, Luke on the other and Michael sat right across my lap and they all hugged me.
"We'll come and visit you whenever we're in London and we'll miss you but we know that this is what's best for you and the little monkey's and we just want you to be happy," Michael said.
"Thank you baby boy," I said to him, "We'll miss you too. You guys can Skype the kids whenever you want to."
"Oh we will, everyday," Calum said.
"That's fine," I laughed.
"Come here Talia we're gonna miss you too," Luke said.
Talia came over and got into the group hug.
"Well the rest of us are lonely now," Zayn said.
"Screw it I'm going in," Louis said.
Soon, everyone was piling on top of us.
Zayn left the next day like planned, but the rest of the guys and Gemma stayed to help us pack up everything we were taking with us to London. After a couple of days, Ashton came around to help us finish up.
We sat out back while the others emptied out the last things from the house.
"I'm really sorry Sam," Ashton said.
I shook my head, "Ashton I don't need you to apologize. It wouldn't have worked anyways. Not with us going back to London."
"I know," he said, "I just wish it didn't happen the way it did. I was so stupid and I was just upset about Harry being back around and getting all of the attention."
"I know you were. I understand that. I'm not holding this against you at all."
"You should."
"I shouldn't. What do I get out of that? What do I get out of holding a grudge against someone? I don't get anything but toxicity from that. And I don't need that."
He nodded.
"We're friends Ash. Just as we were for a long time before anything happened."
"Yeah, we're friends."
I stood up and held my hand out to him. He took it and I pulled him up off the ground. I hugged him and he lifted me off the ground as he hugged me.
"Ready?" Harry asked as he set me down, "Got to get going to the airport now."
"Yeah," I nodded, "I'm ready."
Zayn took a regular flight, while the jet was delayed for the rest of us. We all piled into cars and were driven to the jet.
Our goodbyes had some tears to go along with them, but we knew that with the boys touring so much that it wouldn't be the last time we saw each other.
Once we were in the air, the kids were tired. We sat on two chairs with the arm rests pulled up. Harry in the middle of the kids, Effy on his left and Alex on his right, and I was to the right of Alex. The kids were both resting their heads on Harry when they fell asleep.
"Oh my God it's so cute," Robyn said quietly, "It's so cute I feel like I'm going to cry oh my God."
Harry smiled at me and I rested my head on his shoulder.
I must have fallen asleep, because I was woken up just before we were going to land when we needed to all buckle up. We woke up the kids and got them into their seats and buckled.
My parents and Harry's were there to greet us, along with Eleanor, Sophia, Zayn and Perrie. Harry's parents had known about the kids all along, but they had never met either of them.
Effy ran to my parents as soon as she got onto the asphalt. I set Alex down on the ground and he held onto my hand as we walked, rather than running. I think he was confused as well as a bit sleepy. Hugs all around were had.
Alex looked at Anne for a long time while we stood there. She looked back at him once she noticed, and then Alex looked at my mom, then back to Anne.
"Are you my gramma too?" he asked.
Alex could form great sentences, he just didn't talk a lot, it was mostly childish screaming and laughing.
Anne put her hand over her mouth in joyous surprise and knelt down to his level after looking at Harry for a moment.
"Yes love, I am," she said.
A smile came over his face and he looked up at me, "Mommy, I have 2 grammas, 2 grampas, a daddy and a bunch of uncles and aunts? What did you do right?"
I laughed, "Sweetie, you have 3 grandpas."
He squealed and clapped, then threw his arms around Anne in a hug.
"I want 50 of those," Perrie said to Zayn.
"Absolutely not," Zayn said, making us all laugh.
Anne carried Alex to the cars and we were all driven to our locations. We were staying with my parent's until everything was set up at our new house, which was conveniently right next to Harry's house. Harry insists he had nothing to do with my parent's finding out about the house being available.
We managed to feed Alex before he fell asleep in Robin's lap on the couch. Harry took him upstairs into the room that Alex and Effy were sharing while we were here and put him to bed while Anne and Effy were talking. I sat beside Talia and put my arm around her shoulders. She rested her head against me.
"I feel like I need to have a cup of earl grey in my hand and be eating a crumpet," she said.
"Pip pip cheerio," I said, making her laugh.
"Can we go sight seeing tomorrow?" she asked.
"Of course my beautiful cousin."
My mum sat next to us while Robyn sat on the other side of Talia. My mum took my free hand in hers and kissed the top of it.
"I'm very proud of you," she said, "I know this was hard for you to deal with at first. But you've gotten past everything very well."
Harry came back in and sat down beside Robin and Gemma.
"And now that we're all gathered here, your mother and I have a very special announcement we'd like to make," Dad said as I took a drink of my water.
"Oh my God did you buy Sam nipples?" Gemma asked.
I started laughing with the water in my mouth and it spilled all over my lap, making everyone else start to laugh.
I looked at Gemma while I laughed and just shook my head at her.
"Alright, now that I've peed myself, what's the announcement?" I asked.
"Uh..." Mum said, "I'm... pregnant."
"Wait a second," Effy said, "Grandma, how can you be pregnant? You're old."
This was another fit of us all laughing.
"Effy, baby girl, grandma is only 36," I said.
"How old were you when you had mommy grandma?" Effy asked.
"I was 15."
"And mommy was 16 when she had me?"
"Yes," Mum nodded.
"So, am I going to be 17 when I have a daughter?"
"No," Harry managed to get it out before any of the rest of us, making us smile.
"Love, you're going to wait until you're married to have a daughter, or a son," I said.
"Right," she nodded, "But can I get married when I'm 17?"
"You can get married when you're 18, maybe," Gemma said.
"Why maybe?"
"Because your dad, your uncles, your other grandpas and I have to approve of who you want to marry and that's going to be a hard mission for anyone brought 'round," Dad said.
Effy sighed, "I guess I'll just have to find a good one."
I smiled, "You will."
She yawned and rubbed her eyes, "So are you having a boy or a girl grandma?"
"I... Am having a boy this time."
"Hallelujah," Dad said, "Far too many girls around here."
"Dad I brought 'round 7 more guys when I reconnected with Harry, how is there too many girls?" I asked.
"Because now on the girls side there's you, your mum, Talia, Robyn, Gemma, Anne, Perrie, Sophia, Eleanor and Effy. That's 10 girls. While there's 8 of us. When we add this little lad into the picture we'll be nearly even."
I rolled my eyes, "You and your being even."
"Equality of the people, my love," he said.