I Still Get Butterflies

"Can we talk?" Was the first thing Matt said when I entered the house.
He had a serious look on his face which worried me.
"Is everything ok with the boys?" I asked.
"Yeah, Caiden's been asleep for about an hour and I just put the boys to sleep" Matt answered.
We sat down in the couch and he told me about what he had heard the boys say and that he had finally told them about their mother.
"Poor boys" I said.
"I think it was the right thing to do" Matt said sounding a bit unsure that he actually had done the right thing.
"It was the right thing to do Matt" I said reassuringly and put my hand on his arm "They needed to know the truth, it might make things easier for all of us"

It didn't and Matt was called into the school because Griffin had been talking back to the teacher and started a fight with another kid.
I couldn't get out of the lecture so he had to go into the principals office alone, I knew it wouldn't go too well but this was one of the big lectures before the next exam so I couldn't miss it.
At home he told me Gabi had come to the rescue just in time.
The jealousy hit me instantly, but from what I knew she was seeing some other guy. Then why was she coming to his rescue and coming over every now and then?
I liked her it wasn't that and it wasn't like I was dating Matt but still I couldn't help feeling jealous. I feared if this didn't end then things might get complicated and messy.

"We wanna go see her" Griffin said one day during dinner.
I looked over at Matt.
"Of course we can go see her" he said.
"Can we go now?" Ben asked.
"No sweetie not today" I said and explained "There are special days and hours when you can go visit someone in prison.
"Can we go tomorrow?" Ben asked.
"Tomorrow's Monday and visiting days are Tuesday,Thursday and Sunday" I said.
"Can we go on Tuesday then?" Griffin asked.
"I can't take you, I have to be at work" Matt said.
"And I have lectures all afternoon" I said.
"Who's gonna pick us up from school then?" Ben asked sounding slightly worried.
"Cindy Hermann, you remember her right?" Matt asked.
"Luke's mom?" Griffin replied.
"Yeah Luke's mom" I confirmed "and I'll pick you up from there when I'm done"
"So we can go see her on Thursday then?" Griffin said.
"I think Sunday would be a better day" Matt said.
"Yeah then we can all go and I won't have to find a sitter for Caiden" I said, Matt gave me a questioning look.
"Hank can't take him the weekend he normally would so I said it was ok if he took him this weekend" I explained.
"Great timing, We'll go see her on Sunday then." Matt said.
"Yeiii" both boys screamed.

Said and done on Sunday the four of us were standing outside the prison dressed in much nicer clothes than usual.
Matt stared explaining what the boys would be seeing inside and what we were gonna do as he was straightening Ben's shirt"We're gonna walk inside, sign us in and were gonna walk through a metal detector just like in the airport, they'll take us to a visiting room, where the guards will bring your mom in to sit and talk"
"She'll be wearing a funny jumpsuit and she won't have on any makeup but she's still you mom" I said.
"Can we just get on with it" Griffin said sounding really uninterested.
"Griffin, listen I've been where you are I know it's not easy to see your mom this way but you don't know what a great thing it is that you're doing for her " Matt Sid looking at the boys "you two are all she has right now, so keep being brave for her"
"Ready?" I asked.
"Yeah " the boys said and we went inside.
The second she came through the door both boys ran to her hugging her like there was no tomorrow.
I looked over at Matt and gave him a small smile, he put his hand on mine and returned the smile.
Heather asked the boys to tell her everything and they did, she listened intently and it was like she memorized every word.
I couldn't help but feel sorry for them, and it must be unbearable for Heather not to be able to come home with the boys. I'd die it I had to be away from Caiden like heater was from the boys.
When the guard called that the visitation was over the boys cried and held onto Heather for dear life, when the guards tried prying them off they screamed bloody murder.

After the visitation we decided to take the boys for ice cream.
Matt and I sat down on a bench whilst the boys stood by the water whispering.
I looked at them and then back at Matt.
"What do you think they're talking about?" I asked.
Matt looked up and then at the boys, I did the same.
"I don't know" Matt said.
Ben had his back turned at us and Griffin was facing him, Griffin looked up and noticed that we were looking.
Then they came over to us.
"Everything alright?" Matt asked
Griffin sighed "He wants you to promise you won't go away, like mom an dad"
Matt and I looked at each other and then back at the boys.
"We're right here guys" Matt said.
"And we're not going anywhere" I said.
They sat down between us and ate their ice creams in silence, I put my arm around Ben pulling him closer.

The next few days were so much easier, Griffin had finally accepted reality and was trying his hardest to be nice and help out.
Today the boys wanted to go over to the station and cook lunch so that's what we did.
"Can you carry this inside" I asked Ben giving him one of the smaller grocery bags.
Ben nodded and took it, I turned to Griffin "Maybe you could take this then"
He took the bag and looked slightly excited.
"I'll grab Caiden and them we'll go inside" I said walking to the other side of the car.
"Lets go inside then" I said with Caiden in one arm and a grocery bag in the other.
"Hey guys, foods here" I shouted entering the house.
"Princess is bringing the food" Hermann shouted.
"There's more in the car" I said about to pass the grocery bag to Matt but he had other plans.
"I'll take this one" he said snatching Caiden out of my arms.
Caiden let out a content sound and Matt walked away with him.
"Why don't you two go ahead with Matt and see what he's up to" I said to the boys, they sat the bags down and ran after him.
Kelly and Pete came in with the rest and I got started on the cooking, on today's menu Lasagna!
Once I had it in the over I checked on the boys, they were all in Matts office looking like they were having the time of their life so I decided not to disturb them.
I went out in the garage and went to the squad table.
"Clark why don't you get a chair for our princess" Kelly said winking at me.
Clark got up and walked outside to get one they had left there.
"Thank you" I said, sitting down in the chair he brought.
"No problem" Clark said sounding very uninterested .
"Well lookie here" a familiar voice said from behind me.
I spun around in the chair to see Hadley standing there smirking, Kelly got up and walked towards him. I also got up and walked up to them, I stood beside Kelly and I could feel something was off here. I didn't like the way Hadley looked at us.
"What are you doing here?" Kelly spat.
"I'm here to buy a t-shirt" Hadley said still smirking "and to see how you all are doing"
"Hello Hadley" chief Boden said as he walked up to us.
More of the guys had gathered behind Kelly and me.
"Good to see you Cordi, it's been a while" he said eyeing me.
"I've been busy" I said.
"Yeah I understand being a single parent isn't easy" he said in a smug tone.
Kelly stepped in before I could say anything "Why don't you get your shirt and leave?."
"Besides she isn't alone" Matt said appearing next to me.
"So you" he said and pointed to me and then to Matt "and him are together now?"
"That's none of your business" Matt said protectively.
Before another word could be said they were all called out to a fire.
"The boys are in my office" Matt said before hesitantly leaving.
There I was all alone with Hadley, it didn't feel right. I didn't know what was going on between what seemed to be the whole station and Hadley but I didn't like the vibe earlier.
"Guess I'm gonna go see what they're up to, see you around" he said before leaving.
I made sure he was gone before checking on the boys.
I put Caiden down for a nap in Matt's bed and told the boys to get their homework done.
Then I remembered the Lasagna I had left in the oven, I hoped that it hadn't burned.