My Heroine

What if it all fell apart? What if, out of the blue things just started plummeting down to nothing. You felt like you were being robbed. Like everything was being taken away from you?
“Babe, I’m walking to the store quick. You want anything?” I called to Kellin as I walked out of the door of the bus.
“No I'm ok. Thank you.” He said as he washed a few dishes we had accumulated over the past couple nights.
“Alright. You want to come? I wont be long but if you want to you can.” I said and stepped outside of the bus.
“Nah, ill stay here. Going to talk to Jesse about the song, see if we cant come up with some chords.” He said and I smiled. I remembered the lyrics we had come up with together. I couldn't wait to hear the finished product.
“Alright, ill be right back.” I said and shut the door, walking through the sea of busses. It was dark now. After a full day of listening to bands one by one go up on stage, we played our set, me even going up to do a few acoustics with Kellin before we finished. We had a few interviews with a few different internet sites and had even hung out with the guys from Pierce the Veil for a few minutes before we retreated back to our own bus to settle in and hang out. The guys were all drinking in the back of the bus, just talking and having some snacks. It was still early though. It was only about 7:30. But my need for coffee was insane. I needed my hazelnut creamer. Kellin and I had drank the last of it the other morning before we went to his appointment.
I felt better now knowing that Kellin wasn't being tortured by memories of me being killed in out past car accident. He had been so much happier since he started taking his pill.
Soon, I was spit out onto a city street, the sound of speeding cars and police sirens in the distance blaring into my thoughts. Flashing lights in dark orates and reds interrupting my vision. It didn't take me long to get to the nearest corner store, step through the threshold and walk back to the coolers. I looked at the different flavors of coffee creamer and half thought about getting a different kind.
Out of the corner of my eye a man walked up next to me, taking his time looking at the sodas in the next fridge. He looked over at me and smiled. I meekly smiled back and opened the fridge reaching for the hazelnut, deciding it best to just go with the one I knew I couldn't go wrong with.
“Coffee girl huh? Hot.” He said and I would have smiled and replied had he not said ’hot’. Creep. I turned around and walked to the counter hearing him angrily speak lowly to me.
“Bitch, don’t ignore me when i’m talking to you.” He called after me. I looked up at the cashier and he looked back at me with kind eyes.
“Don’t worry, ill protect you.” He said and shifted his eyes to the side where a shut gun was placed under one of the shelves. I nodded my thanks to him and smiled lightly, handing him money and watched him put my creamer in a bag.
“Ill watch you for as long as I can.” he whispered and pointed to the camera that was pointed to the door and out onto the street.
“Thanks.” I looked down the isle and looked for the guy but I couldn't see him. I shaved the door open and started the walk back to the venue as quickly as I could.
“Hey!” My body froze on the inside. I could feel my blood running cold as I heard the guys voice break through my silence. I didn't stop. I picked up y pace and pulled out my phone dialing Kellin’s number. It rang a few times before he picked up, but I thought he never would.
“Hey babe whats up?”
“Kellin, Help me. Get the car, now.”
“Wait wait, whats wrong?”
“Kellin now, please hurry, I'm right down the street, theres a guy…” As my words flew out of my mouth the guy was behind me grabbing me from behind.
“KELLIN! KEL- HELP ME! SOMEONE HEPL!!!” I screamed as he pushed me down to the ground causing me to drop my phone.
“Get off of me! HELP! HEL…” He covered my mouth as I listened to Kellin’s voice yell through my phone that lay next to me on the ground a few feet away.
“Heather! Im on my way! Just, im coming ok!? Try calling for help! Im staying on the phone!”
I wasn't sure what to do. But I tried. I kicked, punched as hard as I could, clawed his skin on his arms and his face. The cars were honking as they drove past, people were across the street looking over, pointing. But nothing…nothing was changing…until…
“HEATHER!” I heard Kellin scream from behind me.
“Get the fuck off of her you son of a bitch!”
“Im gonna kick your fucking ass if you don't take your hands off of her right now!”
One by one, they guys all took their turns yelling at the man who threatened to hurt me, and simply over the fact that I didn't respond to his ignorant comments of just straight up disrespect to any woman, hell, any stranger for that matter. It was offensive.
It made it all the better when the guys finally came into view, all carrying some kind of weapon. A bat, a pan, anything. If I wasn't hurting, I would have laughed, but I smiled as much as I could with the mans hand still covering my mouth. I tried to get out again, to wiggle out as the guys finally were above me taking their hits on this man until he stood and ran away, but not before Kellin snapped a picture of him, dialed 911, and then bent down to me.
“Heather, are you alright? Are you hurt?” He asked as he tried to help me sit up. I tried to push myself up but yelped in pain when I put pressure on my arm.
“My arm, I think its broken. I cant move it.” I hissed through gritted teeth. Alarms were getting closer now as a cop and an ambulance pulled up next to us. We explained what happened and showed the cop the picture so that he would be able to post it for the news just to keep a look out for anyone else walking the streets. Soon they had be sitting at the edge of the ambulance looking at my arm, putting it in a light stint and drove me to the hospital where I got a cast. Green, it made me happy. Kellin was there then ready to pick me up.
“I should have gone with you.” He said quietly once we were in the car.
“Kellin…you couldn't have even known.” I said and put my hand on his knee.
“Heather, common sense tells any guy who has a girl that decides she's going to walk to the store in the dark, to go with her. It was stupid of me to say no.” He said and his grip was tightening on the steering wheel.
“Babe, relax.” I said and slowly rubbed his fingers on the steering wheel with my own.”Don’t beat yourself up about this. Common sense tells any girl to do exactly the opposite of what I did tonight. I shouldn't have went at all.” I could have asked one of the guys to go, but then I remembered that they had been drinking. I shook my head and felt bad for being irresponsible and causing a scene.
Soon we were pulling back up to the bus where the guys all stood outside waiting for us. As soon as I stepped out of the car, they were crowding me and enveloping me in giant hugs. I giggled and kissed each of their cheeks before following them onto the bus. Thankfully, I still had my creamer so I made a pot of coffee while we talked about the new song Kellin and I had written.
“I think this could be a really badass song Heather. I asked Vic and Jaime to come and talk to us about it, maybe even get some input on how it could sound.” Jesse said as he lightly strummed on his guitar, looking up at me as I leaned against the counter. I looked over at the clock on the microwave. 9:00 on the dot. I nodded and smiled at Jesse.
“Awesome.” I said.
“Yea we put a little too it but I think we could use the help.” Kellin said, falling onto the couch next to Jesse. I thought about when I was younger and I watched videos of Kellin and Jesse doing acoustic sessions outside of venues and stuff. Their placement next to each other was familiar. Almost like it was a reflex for them, it just happened. I smiled at Kellin and blushed as he winked at me. There was a knock at the door and I knew it was Vic and Jaime so I opened it and let them in.
“Summer.” Vic said and smiled at me as he passed.
“Hi Vic, Jaime. Nice to see you guys.” I laughed. I hadn't met any of the guys from Pierce the Veil except for Vic.
“You must be Kellins squeeze.” Jaime said and winked. I knew he was joking. I knew that if it had been any one but me they would have taken it the wrong way.
We sat there for a while talking about the song and seeing what we could change but the winning vote said that it was so stay the same. This made me happy as this was the first song I had written for the band that all of the lyrics were just that acceptable. My smile couldn't have been any bigger as Jesse still put some chords to it and Kellin free sang it, trying to find the right pitch and what sounded best.
I ended up going to the store with Justin as an escort as per request from Kellin. I figured I would make dinner for the guys since they were all working so hard at helping out with the new song. Plus I thought it would be enjoyable on my journey to becoming more acquainted with other band members to sit around a table and have a nice dinner. Luckily as Justin and I walked through the meat section, he found some sirloin tips that were on sale and a shrimp platter that was pretty cheap. I picked out some cajun seasonings, dropping them into the cart and moved on.
Once Justin got the feel for what I was hinting at, he came scampering over with various fruits in his hands, wiggling his eye brows before setting them all gently in the cart and I listed them as they fell. Lemons, strawberries, peaches, pineapples, and a jar of cherries. Perfect. I smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up. I had this pleasant idea of just using fruit as natural sweeteners in water or any alcohol of choice that I knew they had stacked away in the back of the bus somewhere. I thought it would be light enough to set the summer feel I was trying to get going for the night. I pulled out my phone, bringing Kellin’s name up and smiling just thinking about the sweet, blue orbed man that had stolen her heart.
Heather: * Could you do me a favor?*
Kellin: *Anything for you ;) *
Giggling, I looked up in time to see Justin smirking at me. I blushed, knowing that this was all so surreal. Still I had that sinking feeling that I was getting in the way no matter how many times they told me I was a pleasure to have around. I wished that I wasn't taking their friend away from them.
Heather: *Set up some tiki torches outside around the pick nick table and grill and stuff like that? Please?*
Kellin: *Planing a party? Sounds fun :D You got it babe.*
Heather: *Thanks Sweetness <3*
Kellin: *No problem <3*
Clicking my phone off and putting it back in my pocket, turning to the objects on the shelf to my right, Justin’s hand was around mine, pulling me back to face him.
“I saw that.” He said quietly. Looking around, finding a family of three at the other end of the isle we were in to keep myself occupied, any reason to keep my eyes from Justin’s.
“What. Saw what?” I said as quietly as I could. His teeth clicked audibly and I could feel his eyes boring into my skin.
“Heather, please. I see the guilt and it shouldn't be there. We all love someone. They've all had their turns coming on tour with us. You don’t need to be punishing yourself for your turn to love. All the guys will tell you the same. So quit it.” He said calmly, reminding me of Kellin’s hushed tones whenever he spoke with her alone. His voice always brought her back from a bad place.
Nodding my head at his words I lifted my eyes to his and gave in, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. I had been letting this get me down too much. I just want them all too be happy and didn't want my selfishness getting in the way.
“Maybe this is weird, but we already all have this sibling connection with you. You've helped out Kellin so much. We've haven't seen him this happy since before Katelynne. We've been trying to get rid of her for years. He thought we were all just trying to be dicks.” He said and chuckled a little, pulling me away from him so he could look at me.
“Your welcome no matter what. We WANT you around so quit thinking that your a nuisance.” He said and ruffled my hair before turning to the cart, pushing.
“Potatoes! I want some potatoes!” He yelled at the top of his lunges. The burst of laughter that ripped through my lungs made me feel young again and I was extremely grateful that Justin had lifted this weight that had been making me feel like I was going grey way to early as I followed him to the vegetables section. Justin picked out Red potatoes while I picked out the best looking red and yellow peppers and the plumpest looking portobella mushrooms I could find. Justin picked out some corn on the cob, grabbing 15 of them seeing how they were only 50 cents each, and some garlic cloves. And last but not least, some bread. I figured we would keep the calories down to a minimum by getting a fresh uncut loaf of bread from the bakery, along with some Apple butter for flavor. A better idea for a dessert other than cake. Plus its a light fit for everything else we would be eating tonight, all of which was healthy. I smiled, silently proud of myself for accomplishing the appropriate food groups in a meal that would be healthy in both physical and emotional health. Tonight was going to be fun.
Pulling back up to the bus, the guys were all standing outside as Kellin lay a table cloth on the picnic table. He smiled up at me as the headlights switched off, coming to open my door for me and helping me out, his hand already at my cheek and his lips connected to mine in a warm welcome.
“Thanks for setting up for me.” I said and smiled, going to the trunk to help Justin get the groceries out of the car.
“Wait wait wait, let me get those. Go get what you need to cook this stuff. Pans and stuff are under the sink, in case you didn't know.” He shooed me away before I had the chance to protest, and I climbed the stairs to the bus, going to the small kitchenette to reach under the sink and grab a pot for the corn. I opened the window and called out to them.
“Which one of you can grill!?” I yelled. They all looked at me and a few almost started to raise their hands before an unfamiliar voice broke through their replies.
“I can!” A gravely voice called from the next bus over as they rounded the back of it.
“Andy! Hey man! Come on over. Were having a small barbecue.” Kellin called to him as Andy walked up, grasping Kellin in a strong man-hug. I was still pretty new to all of this. Meeting everyone hadn't been a priority yet, although it should have, I substituted my time to meet people with settling for standing side stage with Kellin and watching everyones band play at least once. I was familiar with Andy and his band Black Veil Brides and I had to admit that I liked them a lot more than I thought I would. No offense to them of course. Stopping what I was doing, I went out side and stood next to Kellin.
“Well if it isn't the famous Heather.” He said, a grin growing on his ever so handsome face. Don't get me wrong, the make up and outfits that they wore only made them that much more awesome but Andy was a head turner, there was no doubting that. I smiled back at him, interlocking fingers with Kellin before holding out my other one to Andy.
“Right you are my friend. Its nice to meet you.” I said.
“Lovely to meet you as well mi lady.” He said and took my hand ever so lightly and bowed just a tiny bit in front of me. Blushing and looking at his eyes as they lifted back up to mine, I smiled a polite smile before he continued.
“Heather this is a old friend of mine Andy Bie…”
“Biersack, I know.” I said and smiled at him as his own mouth tilted up in a please smile at my knowing who he was.
“Don’t look so smug, I know all of you. I am dating a rock star don't you know? I have to be educated.” I joked and turned to Kellin, kissing his lips before I walked back into the bus to finish washing up the vegetables and prepare them to be put on the skewers. Justin helped me since we were already on the mission of “Beachy Summer Dinner” we planned at the store. We worked quietly and quickly and got all of the skewers full. The things was, we had way more than enough for all the people that were already here to eat and that many more as well.
“Hey Kells!” I called to Kellin out the window. “Whats up babe!?” He called back.
“Get Matty over here and whoever else you want, I bought too much food.” Hearing no response, I figured he was on the job, calling up anyone and everyone. Soon everything was prepared and Justin and I were carrying everything out on platters to be cooked while the corn soaked. I decided we would just steam it so that everything wouldn't be grilled. It an even meal. As Andy lit the grill, more people started walking over. Matty was there with his girlfriend Brittany, along with Mike and Tony of pierce the veil. Followed behind them was another of the Brides, Jinxx. 5 more people was perfect. I smiled to them all as they walked up and greeted everyone else with hugs. I was especially happy that Brittany was there. It was nice to have another girl there to talk to. The only thing that made me nervous was that she was SUPER gorgeous. No I wasn't jealous. Self conscious?…a little bit. I felt my own smile turn into a lopsided one as I turned back to Andy and the grill, helping him set the skewers on it, as many as we could without being sloppy, and then I returned to the kitchen. I leaned against the counter to just takes breaths before I went out and introduced myself until I looked out the window and saw her hugging Kellin. They looked so…perfect… Her hair was midnight dark, her make up done to absolute perfection. Her clothes adorned with rhinestones and shimmering golds. I felt my stomach clench and my cheeks flush as I looked away from the window checking down at myself, realizing the lazy red Sleeping with Sirens shirt that had Kellin on the front on me, along with an old pair of cut off shorts that were too short for someone else's comfort. But it had been hot that day and she didn't want to wear anything that so much as covered any more of her body than needed. But I looked so… scrubby. Dirty. Like I didn't care… Get over it Heather. Your you. No one is Heather. Kellin could have his pick with anyone, but he choses you. You…he wants you.
I breathed in as deep as I could and turned to check on the corn. Finished.
“Hi Heather!” Oh God… I closed my eyes and put the spoon I was checking the corn with back down onto the counter and slowly turned around, putting a smile on my face.
“Brittany! Hello beautiful! How are you?” Even in my own head I could hear my voice come out as if I was hiding something. As if I had known her my whole life. She reached her arms out and came towards me.
“Oh please, your too sweet. Come here! Its so nice to finally meet you. Kellin talks about you non stop.” She said and my heart fluttered for two reasons. They talked all the time? But at least he talks about me. Now I was genuinely smiling. And now that my mind was clear, I noticed Ashley was too. I opened my arms too and let her in.
“Yea its so awesome to finally meet you too. And Matty too actually. I know him and Kellin are really close.” I sad and squeezed her before letting go.
“Its a surprise we haven’t all run into each other during these past few weeks.” She said and giggled adorably.
“Well I think tonight is a great way to finally meet. Dinner with family.” I said and we both smiled at each other.
“What are you girls up to?” A voice called from behind us, breaking our silence stare of respect.
“Hey Love.” She said and turned to Matty standing in the doorway, a happy grin on his face.
“Well hello Heather.” He said and walked to me, his hand jutting out in front of him. I reached mine out the same and smiled brightly.
“Matty! So nice to FINALLY meet Kellin’s best friend after all this time.” I said sarcastically, meaning all my face anger towards Kellin, and made Matty laugh as he changed the hand shake to a hug.
“Oh I can already tell why he likes you so much.” He said and smiled.
“Hey! Don't hit on my girl Matty!” Kellin yelled as he stepped onto the bus and playfully pushed his way past Matty and snaked his arms around my waist as Matty grabbed Brittany’s hand and turned to leave.
“Well you picked a good one man. Im proud of you.” He said and stepped off the bus as Kellin drowned me in kisses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner went as planned. Jack stood with Andy while he grilled the shish kabobs, Justin and I doctored the corn and cleaned up as we went. Everyone else made a happy, eventful time of this by doing several different things. Jaime went back to their bus and got their small volley ball set up they had and set it up a few feet away from our growing family. Jaime and Tony playing once before switching to Matty and Jinxx. Kellin had come on the bus once more to get a deck of cards where everyone else that was here was gathered in a circle playing a game of cards while they waited. This felt right. Especially as we started laying everything out on the table and everyone stopped what they were doing to help me set up the table. Plates, Cups, napkins, silver wear, everything until we were all seated and had placed the food in various spots on our connected picnic tables. Soon drinks had been served and adjusted to their liking with the alcohol that I knew had been hidden as I had thought earlier, the food had been served, and we were all about ready to dig in when Kellin stood with his glass, clearing his throat to capture everyones attention.
“May I have your attention please? Your attention for just one second, I beg of you.” He said, using his concert tone, making us all erupt into small fits of giggles.
“I just wanted to say that I’m so glad were all here together tonight. Many a time have we been on this trip together, during this time when were away from family, its nights like these that make all of this worth it. To be able to celebrate like we are tonight.” He said and smiled.
“All thanks to Heather.” Jack said and smiled, raising his glass to me.
“Oh no no don’t, this isn’t…no.” I started but Justin was already cutting me off.
“No don't even. Thanks to Heather. I toast to Heather. For bringing us all close together out of the kindness in her heart.” He also smiled and raised his glass to me. Kellin turned his beautiful ocean blue eyes to me and smile.
“To Heather.” He said and raised his glass, and everyone else did to.
“To Heather.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Next Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was a relaxed but slightly busy day. After last nights dinner, going to sleep had been easy on a delightfully full stomach. We were all happy. Today was going to fly by. Like it would be fun, like if we blinked, we’d miss it.
“Autographs. Thats whats on the agenda for today. Besides our set later tonight. We gotta get going in 10.” Jesse said as he plopped down onto the couch next to me and Kellin. I had already made breakfast and sat quietly with the guys while they ate and talking about nothing important. Now we had all already gotten ready for the day and were just chilling around in the living area. Today I had taken the time to dress a little more nicer today. Not that I needed to, but seeing Brittany in her casual getup made me rethink how I dressed today. I did my make up a little slower, and instead of putting on some ratty, old, washed out blue, pair of jeans, I traded them for newer tight, black high waisted shorts and a light, spaghetti strapped, cream colored, knitted shirt and Black TOMS. My normally messy brown wavy hair I made more defined by pitting in a little moose before partially blowdrying it and absentmindedly curling strands everywhere during the morning so that it would dry naturally. And lastly, one of Kell’s black beanies.
Kellin was last to wake up and had only joined me on the couch moments before Jesse came and sat with us also, spreading the joyful news of autograph signing.
“You look gorgeous.” He whispered in my ear before placing a hand on my knee and turned to talk to Jesse more in-depth. Today I felt good. Today I felt ok with myself and my body. I felt beautiful! Not even because of what I was wearing but because of how I was carrying myself today with this confidence that I never thought I had. I hadn't ever had a reason to strut my stuff. Not for anything I had done myself. This was my dream and I was strutting my accomplishment because I was proud of myself that all those years ago I didn't go back to my dad after looking up at the missionary. Proud that I let myself have a better life. I was saved. Dottie was my saving grace. The decision was ultimately hers but in the end, here I am because of that. Im here on my own account. Im here because I chose to take the risk of talking to Kellin. Of talking to someone who I knew could be my friend. I finally built my own relationship, my own success, my own friends, my own extended family.
“Lets go babe.” Kellin said kicking me out of my thoughts, smiling over at me. I smiled back and took his hand, standing and walking off the bus with my sharpie in my pocket. I hadn't gotten anyone who had wanted my autograph yet but I wasn't going to go unprepared, just in case. I smiled to myself as we walked to the tent that was ours to claim, and watched as the crowed started a low roar as we came into sight, only growing louder once everyone realized we…well, Kellin, was coming towards them. He kept a firm grip on my hand as he held up the other and shyly smiled and waved to the crowed, mostly filled with screaming and crying girls. A lot of them evil eyed me as we made our way under the tent but, to my pleasure, a few of them sent gleaming smiles my way and screamed ‘hellos’ to me. I smiled and tried to make eye contact with as many as I could while waving at them. Maybe today I would sign my first autograph.
There were workers already there that were opening boxes of white Sleeping with Sirens t-shirts for us to give them and to sign should they ask for it. I saw that a lot of them had paper and album covers with them to be signed but I thought it was nice that everyone here would get a free shirt. The first fan to have something signed by the guys was so unemotional it kind of weirded me out. Kellin and I shared a look of slight humor and worry as we watched the girl walk away waiting for the next fan to step up. Many of them coming up and crying, hugging all of the guys and expressing their thanks a little too much. Others were shy and didn't really say anything, but Kellin was good with making the quiet ones feel comfortable. There was one in particular that was much younger than any of the girls there, most of them being 17, 18, 19, while this girl was only 13 and as cute as a button. She stood next to what seemed to be her mother. And while she held her hand out to Kellin to shake, her cheeks were so lit with a rosy glow that he was quick to take her aside and kneel down to eye level with her. I had to strain my hearing to hear what he was saying but I heard it.
“Are you alright beautiful?” He asked, sending her head into a fit of nods before smiling back at him when he smiled at her response.
“Have you been enjoying the shows?” Sending another question her way, her mouth finally opened and ever so quietly she said. “Yours was my favorite.” I had to resist the urge to ‘awww’ at her words, but smiled in replacement. His smile widened and a chuckle broke through his precious lips and he continued.
“Ill tell you what, I want you side stage to watch the show tonight. Im going to give you a badge and you cant lose it ok? Its important.” He said, giving her a quizzical look before looking my way. Too caught up in his adorable attempt at making this little girl feel at home, I snapped out of my thoughts and dug in the box behind me, grabbing a lanyard that was already equipped with a VIP pass inside and handed it to Kellin. He looked back to the little girl and wrapped it around her tiny neck.
“Whats your name?” He asked.
“Melanie.” she replied and toyed with the lanyard around her neck.
“Alright Melanie ill see you at the show alright?” She nodded her head again and smiled the biggest smile.
“Alright.” Kellin said and reached out to hug her, wrapping his arms delicately around her small form and then pulled away.
“Don’t be so quiet Mel. Your much too pretty to be binding your voice. I like your voice and I think that everyone else needs to hear it ok? Can you do that for me?” He asked gently.
“Yes, I can do that.” Her voice rang out small and precious and he smiled at her as she spoke, laying a hand quickly on her face before chuckling a little.
“Thats my girl. Alright ill see you later ok?” He said standing back up.
“Alright, by Kellin!” She called back and wrapped her fingers around her mothers hand and skipped away, taking small peeks back to Kellin until she was out of sight.
“Heather! Heather! Could you sign this for me?!” A fan called to me, making me jump slightly as I was sucked from the beauty that was Kellin giving a small girl compliments simply for speaking. This was the Kellin I was in love with.
Turning to the calls, I smiled brightly and laughed. “Sure!” These three girls were handing me things left and right to sign and I was signing them as quick as I could while trying to listen to them tell me different things all at once.
“Your voice is so beautiful!”
“Yea I love when you sing! Especially with Kellin!”
“Whats it like being with Kellin? He's great isn't he????”
I giggled as they spat words of kindness at me and answered then as truthfully as possible.
“Thank you girls for the compliments! Singing with Kellin is so amazing. His voice is so much better than mine obviously but its so nice to mix together you know? And being with him is pure heaven. He's as perfect as we all think he is. Small secret…” I said and leaned down, them following suit and continued. “…I think I love him.” The girls raised up and covered their mouths to keep from squealing and fave me sweet smiles.
“You guys are perfect together.”
“Yea seriously, don't err break up.”
“Good luck Heather. We really do wish you the best.” They said and blew me kisses, walking over to Kellin where they basically said the same thing to him about me and him and how great we are together as both singers and a couple. I thought it was sweet. This went on for a good hour or so, where fans would come up one at a time as Kellin and I gave them each small pep talks and hope and happiness before sending them on their way with an autographed object of some sort. I turned around and grabbed a t-shirt for the next girl coming up to Kellin, vaguely hearing her name was Veronica and that she was so happy to see him, and then turned back to lay the shirt on the table next to Kel when I stopped. She held her arms out, an autograph book laying on her palms as Kellin signed it. But…her wrists. Pick and puffed and looking…new. A fresh slice to end the pain of hundreds of days of dread… As soon as I saw Kellin was done signing it, my frozen position thawed and I was lunging toward the girl, grabbing her hands in mine before she could pull away. I wasn't quite sure what to do. But I kept her hands tight in mine. Finally I thawed enough to slowly look up at her.
“But…your so beautiful…” I said, more of a question in my head as I looked at her strikingly beautiful features and then back down for a brief look at the marks of grief on her skin.
“Beauty isn't life Heather. It doesn't matter how you look, the pain is within the eyes of the angered. These marks tell me that I'm the one in control of myself. That he doesn't control me. That I can live my life everyday and not have to worry about him thinking he can do as he pleases. You know what I'm saying Heather. I know you've experienced it too.” The last part she uttered out slowly, slowly releasing her hands from mine and taking my wrists in hers, her thumbs rolling over the old pink scars that had puckered on my own wrists.
“I don’t know your passed…” she whispered in my ear. “…but I can tell you that I understand, that Im here for you. That theres a whole separate world for us boy and girls who struggle with love and compassion, be it from us, or the lack of it being given to us. We can get through this. Ask Kellin.” She finished and pulled away from me, her gaze finding Kellin’s as he knew all to well of the pain she was talking about as he had heard about it time after time form victims of non-love. Of the pain and suffering that poured through his lyrics to the emotionally distressed.
“We’ll all get through this, wont we Kellin?” She said matter-of-factly , looking to him for reassurance.
“We will get through this. Just keep pushing forward.” He said and smiled to her and she smiled back, turning back to me. My face still felt worried. But her thumbs were on my cheeks now, stroking away a sticky wetness from my cheeks that I hadn't realized had fallen. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and hugged her.
“Your a strong girl and your so beautiful. I hope this pain subsides for you, that everything turns out in our favor. Im here for you.” I said and pulled away from her, holding my pointer finger up to her as I turned around and grabbed a piece of paper fro the table behind me and wrote my number down. Turning back to her, I smiled and put my finger to my lips. She nodded in understanding and leaned in when I waved her toward me.
I wrapped a single arm around her shoulder and put the paper in her hand.
“Don’t share this with others. My phone number is on there. Im going to give you a pass, so we can talk more later. I want to try to help you. If thats ok with you.” We pulled back from each other and she smiled, nodding to me. I dug in the box, pulling out another VIP pass and hung it around her neck.
“Ill see you later?” I asked as she gathered her things and she nodded again, the smile of her face widening. I nodded her way and watched her walk away, already sending me a text.
Veronica: *Now you have my number! Thank you…for everything. <3 <3 <3*
I never thought that would ever happen to me. Not only had I accomplished getting an autograph, but I had also possibly gained another friend, and possibly been given the opportunity to save someones life. It was even better because I had connected with someone who was also trapped in a situation where the outcome was the result of angry, puffy lines scratched across the wrist of a beauty that once was. A life tainted by negativity. I had been there. She had been there. I had passed it, and although she was leaning of Kellin for support, she was still stuck. And I was going to help her. Regardless.