Psychogenic
✝Sixteen✝
They took him away from me. I couldn't do anything, or say anything as the guards latched onto his arms and dragged him from the cell. Sympathy was written all over my face. Who knew what meant so much could hurt so much as well?
I sat in the cell alone, afraid of what came next. I knew Vic wasn't coming back this time. I knew he would no longer be protecting me. Who knows when I'll see him again.
I scurried to my bed and pretended to bury myself under the pillow, but instead I pulled out the Christmas bow.
This is what was left of him. My eyes felt heavy as I turned it around between my fingers. The paper was crinkled up a lot. Slowly, I pulled it apart, then put it back together. This was too beautiful to be teared.
Quietly, I stuck it back where it was safe and huddled up in my bed. It was scary being in here alone. Usually I'd hear Vic snoring, or him breathing. It was completely silent now. Tears formed in my eyes, and as much as I tried I couldn't blink them away, I couldn't.
This wasn't just pain anymore. This was torture. It felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest in an instance. I lost my only hope.
I cried as I thought about everything that was going on. There were so many things to handle right now. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, desperate to block out all the bad things. But instead I created a horrible headache on top of everything else.
And slowly, I fell asleep against my will.
✝
10-29
Two days past. Vic was no where, and Andy was coming and going as well. I never saw him with any guards yesterday or today so far. On the bright side, Andy was able to walk again. And boy was he tall, much taller than me. But that smile of his never faltered. And whenever I tried to smile, I couldn't get myself to do it.
"Don't worry about Vic, he'll be fine."
"He'll be fine, I won't." I snapped at Andy, shrugging his hand off of my shoulder.
"You're both here, just separately. Anything can happen." He replied calmly with a shrug before walking away. I watched him go, and with a sigh I rested on the couch. Nobody disturbed me, and I was grateful for that.
But I was ungrateful for everything else. I had to basically force with all my power to not cry in front of everyone. Nobody but Andy and I seemed to notice his disappearance. Not even Philomena. That what made me mad about it all.
It's been two days, doesn't anyone even care? Has anyone even stop to think about what he could be doing right now? He could be locked away or being hurt, and no one even acknowledges him. I thought he had a huge impact on all of them.
Maybe I was wrong.
I thought about him day and night, and all I wanted was to speak with him again. I missed his voice.
I missed seeing those bright brown eyes of his that gleamed no matter what. I also missed his voice, the way it was husky from the time I met him on the bus.
I thought about what he said. Vic really dropped the bomb on me.
They took away my chance to respond, not that I would've known what to say anyway.
It's hard to determine whether I loved Vic or not. He was there for me through thick and thin. He really does care for me. It's just that love is a strong emotion.
But maybe love was the emotion I could use to describe how I felt about Vic. I'm just now realizing this? In fact, now I think about it, I've loved Vic ever since he spoke to me. It just was concealed this whole time.
The day dragged on as usual, and I still felt sick to stomach. Was he in confinement?
And most importantly is he safe?
Vic
I really fucked up this time. I knew I should've kept my mouth closed until it was safe.
Then again, is it really ever safe?
I regret the timing of when I told Kellin I loved him, but not that I did tell him. He deserved to know that.
But here I am, in a confinement cell. I feel like it's been ages, but in reality it's been two days. I can't believe Kellin was locked up down here. They give you rational portions of food, and it's utterly dark.
I had food right now, they brought some in for me. While I ate, I thought about things going on at home. I wonder how my friends and family are doing. I wonder how Kellin's doing.
The doors opened quickly, startling me. Two men walked in and while one snatched the bowl from my hands, the other latched onto me.
"Let go." I snarled, but all of my energy was gone. I had no power against them.
He dragged me out of the cell and down the hallway I remember running down to get to Kellin. That didn't end well. I watched as we walked up the stairs
"W-Where are we going?" I asked as we approached the doors to the main room. Nobody responded. The doors opened, and there stood everyone.
Nobody really paid attention to my figure, not even Andy. I searched desperately for Kellin, but I didn't see him anywhere. The couch was occupied by someone else. Panic rose, but soon settled as I saw the raven haired boy. He stood against the wall and looked at me in shock. I smiled at him to assure him I was doing fine. His astonished expression never faltered as I whipped around a corner.
We walked down the hallway as I reminisced on seeing him again. But reality hit me, hard. Another door opened before the guards let go of me and shoved me into a room. When my eyes adjusted, there stood Sister Margaret, in her office.
"W-What do you want?" I asked meekly.
"I see you've been in trouble." She mocked, pacing around slowly.
"Me? Never." I said sarcastically, but quickly I bit my tongue.
"I warned you about Kellin..."
"I'm allowed to have friends." I snapped at her angrily.
"Well of course, but you two are obviously not just friends." My attention turned to the hand sized lash she was holding.
"N-No don't..." I begged desperately.
"Punishments do need to be attended too, bend over."
"No." I replied boldly, shaking my head at her. "I'm not letting you do this to me." With a sigh, she dropped the lash and walked up to me.
Her hands gripped my forearms, so I tried to yank away. But her nails dug into my skin, making me whimper. She pulled me towards a desk on the off side of the room.
"Bend over." She commanded with a deafening amount of volume. I sighed and bent over. Quickly, her fingers locked my arms into two cuffs that dug into my wrists. Tears formed in my eyes, and it wasn't even the worse part yet.
I heard her from behind me, so I closed me eyes and awaited.
"Forty." And that's all she said before the long, thin roped smacked me with a flick of a wrist.
I sat in the cell alone, afraid of what came next. I knew Vic wasn't coming back this time. I knew he would no longer be protecting me. Who knows when I'll see him again.
I scurried to my bed and pretended to bury myself under the pillow, but instead I pulled out the Christmas bow.
This is what was left of him. My eyes felt heavy as I turned it around between my fingers. The paper was crinkled up a lot. Slowly, I pulled it apart, then put it back together. This was too beautiful to be teared.
Quietly, I stuck it back where it was safe and huddled up in my bed. It was scary being in here alone. Usually I'd hear Vic snoring, or him breathing. It was completely silent now. Tears formed in my eyes, and as much as I tried I couldn't blink them away, I couldn't.
This wasn't just pain anymore. This was torture. It felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest in an instance. I lost my only hope.
I cried as I thought about everything that was going on. There were so many things to handle right now. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, desperate to block out all the bad things. But instead I created a horrible headache on top of everything else.
And slowly, I fell asleep against my will.
✝
10-29
Two days past. Vic was no where, and Andy was coming and going as well. I never saw him with any guards yesterday or today so far. On the bright side, Andy was able to walk again. And boy was he tall, much taller than me. But that smile of his never faltered. And whenever I tried to smile, I couldn't get myself to do it.
"Don't worry about Vic, he'll be fine."
"He'll be fine, I won't." I snapped at Andy, shrugging his hand off of my shoulder.
"You're both here, just separately. Anything can happen." He replied calmly with a shrug before walking away. I watched him go, and with a sigh I rested on the couch. Nobody disturbed me, and I was grateful for that.
But I was ungrateful for everything else. I had to basically force with all my power to not cry in front of everyone. Nobody but Andy and I seemed to notice his disappearance. Not even Philomena. That what made me mad about it all.
It's been two days, doesn't anyone even care? Has anyone even stop to think about what he could be doing right now? He could be locked away or being hurt, and no one even acknowledges him. I thought he had a huge impact on all of them.
Maybe I was wrong.
I thought about him day and night, and all I wanted was to speak with him again. I missed his voice.
I missed seeing those bright brown eyes of his that gleamed no matter what. I also missed his voice, the way it was husky from the time I met him on the bus.
I thought about what he said. Vic really dropped the bomb on me.
They took away my chance to respond, not that I would've known what to say anyway.
It's hard to determine whether I loved Vic or not. He was there for me through thick and thin. He really does care for me. It's just that love is a strong emotion.
But maybe love was the emotion I could use to describe how I felt about Vic. I'm just now realizing this? In fact, now I think about it, I've loved Vic ever since he spoke to me. It just was concealed this whole time.
The day dragged on as usual, and I still felt sick to stomach. Was he in confinement?
And most importantly is he safe?
Vic
I really fucked up this time. I knew I should've kept my mouth closed until it was safe.
Then again, is it really ever safe?
I regret the timing of when I told Kellin I loved him, but not that I did tell him. He deserved to know that.
But here I am, in a confinement cell. I feel like it's been ages, but in reality it's been two days. I can't believe Kellin was locked up down here. They give you rational portions of food, and it's utterly dark.
I had food right now, they brought some in for me. While I ate, I thought about things going on at home. I wonder how my friends and family are doing. I wonder how Kellin's doing.
The doors opened quickly, startling me. Two men walked in and while one snatched the bowl from my hands, the other latched onto me.
"Let go." I snarled, but all of my energy was gone. I had no power against them.
He dragged me out of the cell and down the hallway I remember running down to get to Kellin. That didn't end well. I watched as we walked up the stairs
"W-Where are we going?" I asked as we approached the doors to the main room. Nobody responded. The doors opened, and there stood everyone.
Nobody really paid attention to my figure, not even Andy. I searched desperately for Kellin, but I didn't see him anywhere. The couch was occupied by someone else. Panic rose, but soon settled as I saw the raven haired boy. He stood against the wall and looked at me in shock. I smiled at him to assure him I was doing fine. His astonished expression never faltered as I whipped around a corner.
We walked down the hallway as I reminisced on seeing him again. But reality hit me, hard. Another door opened before the guards let go of me and shoved me into a room. When my eyes adjusted, there stood Sister Margaret, in her office.
"W-What do you want?" I asked meekly.
"I see you've been in trouble." She mocked, pacing around slowly.
"Me? Never." I said sarcastically, but quickly I bit my tongue.
"I warned you about Kellin..."
"I'm allowed to have friends." I snapped at her angrily.
"Well of course, but you two are obviously not just friends." My attention turned to the hand sized lash she was holding.
"N-No don't..." I begged desperately.
"Punishments do need to be attended too, bend over."
"No." I replied boldly, shaking my head at her. "I'm not letting you do this to me." With a sigh, she dropped the lash and walked up to me.
Her hands gripped my forearms, so I tried to yank away. But her nails dug into my skin, making me whimper. She pulled me towards a desk on the off side of the room.
"Bend over." She commanded with a deafening amount of volume. I sighed and bent over. Quickly, her fingers locked my arms into two cuffs that dug into my wrists. Tears formed in my eyes, and it wasn't even the worse part yet.
I heard her from behind me, so I closed me eyes and awaited.
"Forty." And that's all she said before the long, thin roped smacked me with a flick of a wrist.