For the Love of the Game

Morning came too early and I found myself in the car with Nikki and Tommy heading to my house for what was probably going to be the last time. Dad’s manager and lawyer were going to meet us there to talk about everything, and Nikki had a moving truck scheduled to be in tonight to load whatever was going back to Los Angeles with me. He had also paid someone to drive my truck back to Los Angeles for me. He said he wasn’t crazy about me driving that far and to be completely honest, I don’t think I was up to that long of a trip either. He had also found out late yesterday evening that the memorial service for the team was going to be tomorrow, so once I left Dallas this last time, I wouldn’t have to look back unless I wanted to.

My one true best friend that had been around since our days of kindergarten, Farmer, met us at the house to help with the packing process and to keep me company. I had broken the news to him first that I was moving and he had been pretty upset, so I was hoping today would go okay. I was tired of crying and my heart was shattered so the last thing I wanted to do was shatter someone else’s and mine to shatter even more.

“Hey beautiful.” Farmer said wrapping his strong, toned arms around me as I got out of the suburban.

“Hey, Farm. I missed you.”

“I missed you too. I always miss you when you aren’t around.”

The guys had gotten to know Farmer a long time ago since he was always around. Sometimes when Farmer didn’t have anything to do with his sports teams during the summer he would go with me to Los Angeles and he been with us on the tour buses a couple of times too. The guys trusted him and trusted us together, not that they had anything to worry about. Farmer was my best friend and brother. I would never want a relationship with him other than what we already had. He was too precious to me.

“How are you holding up?” He asked.

“I have my moments. Sometimes I’m okay, sometimes I cry, and unfortunately there has been anger.”

“That’s just a natural woman thing.” Tommy smirked.

I knew he would have something to comment about that.

“Well,” Farmer said turning back to me. “to top all of this off, Dad decides to tell me this morning that he’s deploying out next week and has no idea when he will be back.”

There went my heart shattering more. My dad always kept a sitter hired to stay with me when he couldn’t be home and even after I got a driver license and a vehicle and could take care of myself more, the sitter was always on stand by. Farmer came from a family like mine. His dad was a very high ranking official in the Air Force and wasn’t home much at all. Farmer usually stayed with me, but he had someone on the side as well. Our Dads were really trusting of us and we never game them any reason to break that trust so we were given a lot freedom. And now everything was falling apart for both of us. I teared up at the somewhat terrified look on his face.

“Farmer, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. You know I would never---“

“Collins, shut up, okay? You had no control over any of this. Things are changing for both of us and there is nothing that either of us can do about it. It will be okay. We will get through all of this.”

I sighed. “Whatever. I just want this all to be over. All of it.”

So as if the day couldn’t get any worse, now I was faced with going through my entire house and packing whatever I wanted to keep. I had made the talk with the lawyer short and sweet and told him whatever was left in the house tonight to sell it and put the money in a bank account to be used for my college fund. I don’t think I even stopped walking as I told that to him. I disappeared to my room and started packing.

The day seemed to drag on forever as I went through boxes, closets, and drawers. Farmer had taken the hint that I wasn’t in any mood to talk and we both had a lot on our minds. We were finishing up the last room of the house late that evening when Nikki told Farmer he wanted to talk to him for a minute. I figured he wanted to know what was up with me, because I hadn’t said much of anything to him or Tommy all day. I saw this as a perfect opportunity to take a break and go outside to release some steam. I grabbed my softball glove, a bucket full of softballs, and went outside to pitch some.

“Mind if I take a swing?” Tommy asked as he walked outside. I had to remind myself that we were in this together and to not be rude.

“Sure. Keep your guard up though. I’ve thrown some wild pitches.”

We turned so that he would be hitting the balls towards the empty field behind our house. There was no telling how many softballs and baseballs were out there now that me and Dad had never found. When our ball count got low we just restocked and kept going. It took Tommy a few late swings before he got the timing down just right and started hitting them. His first couple were ground balls that came right back to me and then he started airing them out over my head.

“Yeah! Take that miss number three pitcher in the nation! I was a baseball player in my past life.” Tommy bragged as he kept hitting the balls. So, I started changing up my pitches.

“So, uh, how did that baseball career work out for ya in that past life?” I smirked as he kept swinging and missing.

“Keep talking.”

I released a normal perfect pitch at him, waiting for him to swing and miss that one too, but he managed to hit it and sent it right back at me, catching me off guard. It collided with the upper part of my leg, the familiar sting washing over my leg instantly. It had been a long time since I had been hit by a ball hit back to me, and I was proud of that. I wasn’t too proud that my streak had just ended but then again I wasn’t a hundred percent focused either.

“Asshole!” I yelled at Tommy as I managed to catch myself from hitting the ground.

“Shit! I’m sorry! Are you hurt?”

Tommy ran over to me as I sat on the ground and laid back in the grass laughing. He punched me playfully as I started laughing and collapsed besides me.

“Seriously though, are you okay?” He asked

“Yes, I’m fine. It stings but nothing I have never felt before and nothing I can’t deal with. I’m anxious to see what kind of bruise I get from it.”

“I really am sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I should have been paying attention and ready. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting you to actually hit it.”

“Uh huh. See? That’s what you get. Never underestimate me.”

“Trust me. I don’t.”

“Hey Collins,” Nikki called, “Are we done in here?”

“Well shit. Back to reality.” I said as I got up and pulled Tommy up.

We finished up packing the last little bit of stuff that I wanted to keep just as the moving people arrived to start loading up the stuff. I took one last look around and walked out of my home forever, head down, a few tears falling.

We decided to go for Mexican food and Nikki suggested that I invite a few of my friends which I did. I broke the news to them that I was moving to Los Angeles which I think they kind of suspected. Most of them knew I had no family but my Dad so they knew something was going to change. I promised to keep in touch as we went our separate ways that night.

“You’ve been kind of quiet today. I know it’s been rough. Are you okay?” Nikki asked as we sat outside the hotel watching the planes leave from the Dallas Fort Worth Airport nearby.

“Yeah. I’ll be okay. Farmer told me this morning that his dad is deploying out soon and doesn’t know when he will be back so it’s like Farmer is losing everyone. I hate that.”

“Yeah, he told me about that.”

“I told you about what?” Farmer asked as he joined us on the balcony.

“About your dad being deployed.” Nikki answered.

“Oh yeah. Speaking of that, I have some news about my issue.”

“What?” I asked him, hoping that one of our friends had agreed to let him stay with them.

“Well, it seems as if I have some packing to do too. I found an open pool house in Nikki’s backyard that he’s willing to let me stay in as long as we promise not to party and make a bunch of babies while he’s away.”

“Wait, you’re moving to Los Angeles too?” I asked making sure I had understood him correctly.

“Yep.” He smiled.

“Holy shit! Yes!”

I jumped up from my perched spot on the balcony and wrapped my arms around him and then swapped to Nikki. Despite losing my dad which was definitely a life changing event, good things were happening at the same time to help balance out some of the negativity which I was thankful for. I’m sure my true grief would eventually catch up with me at some point though in the future. This was all happening so fast that I really hadn’t had time to truly grieve the loss of my dad.

“Well, I’m going to go home and start packing and get some sleep. I will see you guys at the service tomorrow and I will be ready to roll after that.” Farmer said.

“Do you need help packing? I could come stay with you tonight and help if Nikki doesn’t care.” I offered.

“No. I appreciate the offer but I want you to just rest and be with Nikki and Tommy okay? You’ve been going full speed the last couple of days and it’s going to catch up to you. I don’t have much stuff, so I’ll be okay. Alright?”

“Okay.”

I hugged him as he left and went to get his stuff together to begin his new life too. I got situated on the balcony again and watched as the planes flew in and out. Nikki propped up against the railing as well and stared off into the distance, an intense look of concentration on his face. Knowing him he was probably mentally writing a song in his head or lost somewhere deep, deep inside his thoughts. He did things like that all of the time.

“Penny for your thoughts.” I said, breaking the silence.

He jumped slightly and turned to face me, a small smile playing on his face. “Just thinking.”

“Wanna share? This is a new beginning for both of us. No secrets, yeah?”

“No secrets..I like that. Okay, well, I have to admit that I’m a little bit nervous about all of this, but with that being said, that doesn’t mean anything. I would do anything for you just like I promised Jake that I would. There’s just a lot going on right now and I wish so bad that I could be home with you through your senior year. I just feel like now is the time that you need family the most and the most important family member just got taken away from you and here I am going off on the road and leaving you too.”

I smiled. Nikki had one of the biggest hearts of any man that I knew. He was always worried about someone else other than himself when he had time to worry about things. “I understand. So, are you really worried about me in that sense or that you’re leaving two teenagers at your house by themselves and how many parties we are going to have and what kind of trouble we are going to get into?”

He smiled and shook his head. “I know both you and Farmer better than that. Trust me, that is the very last thing I am worried about.”

He definitely knew me well. “Nik, you have a lot on your plate right now and I know that. What you did by letting Farmer come and stay was huge for both me and him. He is my rock just like you guys and he will take care of me while you’re gone. This isn’t my first rodeo being left alone a lot and if you would feel better finding us a sitter like we used to have, I am totally okay with that. I don’t do anything alone that I wouldn’t do with my Dad or you guys around. I will also require that we talk and text everyday and face time every night. I also require permission to use the kitchen because I refuse to eat fast food every night.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Anything else, Princess?”

“I’m sure I can think of plenty more. But really, Nikki, as long as we can talk every night and I have Farmer, I will be okay. I want you to go out and enjoy this tour with your brothers. I can take care of myself so let me be the last thing that you worry about okay?”

“Okay.” He smiled. “And I told Farmer he could live in the pool house but there are enough rooms in the house for him to pick one. I trust both of you. And you know that we will talk every day and probably more than once a day. You are more than welcome to use the kitchen and I was already considering a live in sitter.”

“That is totally fine with me. My only request with a sitter is if possible it be an older lady.”

“Okay, I think I can handle that.”

I jumped down from the balcony and wrapped my arms around him, and I knew that we would be okay. We both had a lot of new things to get used to and it would all fall into place as it needed to with time. The most important thing was, what little bit of family I did have left, we were all together and that was perfect for me.