Against the Waves

When I was fifteen years old I lost my mother to cancer. Death brings about the greatest feelings of regret and remorse that a human being will feel because of it's permanence. Some people regret lost loves, but if the object of affection is still alive then they hold on to even the slightest bit of hope until they have come to terms with the regret and accepted it. When my mother died, however, I did not truly get closure. I was still a teenager, I didn't understand the things a parent goes through to make a life for their child, even now I don't truly realize it. I do know now that letting go of regret is the only way that you can free yourself from the weight it brings. You must look inward and tell yourself "it's okay" because it is. Regrets are only meant to be a temporary part of life, a small stone that you carry with you for one part of your journey only to chuck it across the vast river of experiance. Do not forget that regrets are self imposed, we regret only what we want to regret. We may not consciously know we want to regret it, but we do. Some of us regret because we have found nothing better to fill the void of what we've lost or thrown away. We regret quitting that job, not starting college sooner, the one that got away. When we do find something that makes us happy then those regrets seem to melt away, dont they? You laugh at yourself for being foolish because now that person who regretted for so long has found something to be thankful instead. Where death is concerned not many things will fill that pit of loss, no, that particular form of regret can only be fixed by self relization. We must realize that we live to make mistakes and have regrets, it is part of the human condition. When the weight of your regrets begins to pull you down, take a deep breathe and remember the things that you can be thankful for. Somewhere the sun is setting over a quiet hillside, a mother holds her child for the first time, a couple falls in love, you haven't given up yet.