This Is Our Future.

The emotional pain, the indescribable horror I was going through was taking over. All my intentions of a planed escape failed and I just wanted, no needed to get the fuck out. My mind couldn’t take it, and I started to panic. I looked around for something, anything that would help me get out, and I realized if I could just wiggle out of the straps that were holding me down, I could escape. But I needed something, so I looked for a weapon and there were some knifes lying around, I needed the biggest one. Would I be able to walk, was the question that was going through my head. I started to squirm and tried to push my body down the cart I laid on. In the span of maybe ten minutes time, my legs were out. And then my neck was down by the last strap and my body was in the air, supported by my weakening legs. I was an inch away from being out and I heard the doorknob turn. In panic I pulled my head out quickly, grabbed the blanket and laid it over me, laying on the try. I felt like meat about to be cooked. I closed my eyes are pretended to be asleep, hoping she would dismiss any acts of violence while I was so vulnerable. She did. But it felt like hours that she watched me 'sleep'. I only breathed and nothing else, silent air moving swiftly in and out of my nostrils, in and out of my lungs. The rising of my chest was the only movement she would have seen.
She left, eventually, maybe a few hours later, maybe minutes. And when she left, I opened one eye to make sure she wasn’t standing on top of the stairs. She was not. I slowly stood trying to maintain balance and not make a single sound. I grabbed the knife and looked for an article of clothing. In a far corner under a pile of blankets I found boxers. Whose they were, I didn’t know. Mine, other victims? I had no idea, and I didn’t care, I slipped them on. If I did die, I wanted to have a bit of decency. But I wouldn’t die, I wouldn’t let the fucker kill me, or even harm another hair, skin cell or anything on my body. Knife in hand I looked at the stairs. Would they lead me to life, a trap or death? Worry, worry and worry filled me. Should I go up the steps, or wait for her to come to me. I didn’t have much time, she usually came down randomly and only she and god knew when the next time would come. Haha wait. God? There was no such being to me now. I debated and gathered all my strength and courage to walk up those steep blue steps. I inhaled, stood up and braced myself. The steps seemed so narrow and large when I embarked on walking up them.
The first step was the hardest. But I managed to silently pull myself on to it. Then came the second step and then the third step and forth and fifth, until eventually I had made my way to the very last step. The door opened into the stairway, so there was a slightly larger porch-like step which then held my body weight. Now was the moment of truth. To see the house which held me captive, see where the fuck I was and kill the bitch. I was so ready. I reached for the door and the knob turned. I froze solid. She was on the other side. My blood ran cold. The door was creaking slowly open. I backed to the wall. She was right there, I could hear her breath. That’s when my instincts took over. I slammed the door closed hitting her right in the face. Thump! She was down! It was my time to run now. I opened the door, ready to jump over her limp body, but it wasn’t there. Had she avoided my attack? Well, she couldn’t have, I heard her hit the floor. But there was no body in front of me. The thought that she was hiding against the wall popped into my head, but I didn’t care.
I started to run down the hallway. I didn’t know where I was, but I knew that I was gonna get out of this odd house if it was the last thing I did and if it took the last breath in me out by force. I wish that I had killed her with the swing of the door, but I knew I didn’t. That didn’t faze me much at the time. I was free and running half naked down the corridors of the building, which was actually a fairly nice building. Lots of rooms and nice wallpaper, almost like a hotel. I had been running for a while. Up the stairs, down the hallway, up the stairs again. It was a continuous maze and the only light was the artificial light coming from the various lamps in the hall. I came to the end of the hallway and there was a door. Like, it just stopped. And what was different about this door was that, it was steel, solid silver steel. I was afraid to open it, but I had gotten this far, I couldn’t go back to that awful grotesque room, not when I had gotten this far. I stared hard at the door. Looking at it, checking if there was fire behind it or if I could see what was behind it but looking under the door. But I saw nothing and there was no hint of fire. So I turned the knob with a knot in my stomach and throat. But it wouldn’t budge. It was locked. Fucking shit. So there I was just standing there, my murderer more then likely on her way up to finish me off, freedom probably on the other side of the door, and the urge to just fucking piss myself. I wanted to go frantic and scream and bounce off the walls, but I decided against it, going crazy wouldn’t help. Thinking rationally was going to be the key here, that was the plan. Until the lights turned off. I totally lost it. I don’t even know what happened I just went off-the-wall hospital worthy insane. It was awful and if she saw it would have brought happiness straight to her heart, post-haste. How long the lights were off, I was uncertain of the time period, but when they turned back on, I was bleeding from my wrists and my whole body was more sore then ever. That’s when I gave up.
Within five seconds of the lights turning on, I was in fettle position in the corner of the hallway. I planed to just die because clearly I wasn’t getting out of this. Every ounce of optimism and happiness I had before was all gone; vanished. I stayed there in that hallway dead as dust and as silent as the walls. The door never opened, the lights always flickered and life just kept drifting farther and farther away from me. Nothing seemed worth it anymore, why fight for something I can only dream of. Why fight for the life someone clearly didn’t want me to have? The bitch wanted me dead, and boy oh boy, was she gonna get her wish. I was just giving up then. Falling in and out of consciousness I couldn’t tell when I was awake or asleep because everything looked the same when my eyes were open and when they were closed. Somewhere in the state of insomnia and death I dreamed an actually dream. I was eating turkey at a table with seven kids and my wife. Nothing special but it made me sit up after hours of lying down dead. Was death really the way to go? Fuck that, I wanted turkey. That stupid dream of nothing made my mouth water for the salty dry holiday food. If I couldn’t live for myself or for anyone, I would live and get out of there, just so I could eat fucking turkey.
Praise the lord, he has seen the light! I started standing, very slowly. The light flickered, I kept my cool. Standing in the corner, the door hinge digging into my arm, I thought it was odd, it wasn’t doing that before, but the door had opened. I stood stone still. A man walked in, black hat and a brown coat. He put his umbrella down, leaning it against the wall he started to take off his things but he stopped and moved his body towards me, his head down. I couldn’t see his face, just a Shadow, but I heard The Shadow sigh. I spoke up first;

“Sir, could you tell me where that door leads?” I was polite as I could be in my state, but I think the fact that I was in only undies threw his views of me off a bit. He didn’t talk just yet, maybe he bathed in my words, this man seemed pretty solitary.

“You don’t wanna be goin’ out there now,” the voice was husky and tired, filled with the voice that an old fat man should have. It didn’t fit his shadowness at all. He started to walk away, and the door slammed shut. I could do nothing but follow him, because, what if someone bad came through the door? So, I followed him 'cause I sure as hell wasn’t gonna wait around forever just to get shunned or have her walk in. For a while he walked, down those spiraling stairs I had so desperately run up hours before. He walked into the one of doors, room 221, he left the door ajar and waited for me to walk inside. The room was pitch black, I was hesitant. But I went on in, thinking the worst has nearly happen, why not trust this guy. So I trusted him and walked in and all was well because the lights turned on and it was a little hotel room. Living room, bedroom, bathroom and a kitchenette, pretty cozy for the building. Actually, despite the building’s basement the whole place was cozy.
“I’m surprised..” He began. “You’re the first you know, to escape her, the absolute first person. I mean, you made it all the way to the door and she’s attacked you already. You’ve got spunk kid, and a damn well reason for living if you made it this far.”

“What? Well, you know her?!” I was dumbfounded, he knew I had been there, why the fuck didn’t he help?!

“Yeah, I do, we all do.” He was fussing about the tiny kitchen, making tea, getting out small cups. I assumed he had a story to tell as he gathered his words he put the tea on and we sat in the two chairs across from each other, a table in between. He started his tale. “It was such a long time ago that I might even not remember. But I was lost, franticly lost in a spiral of up and downs. No matter what I did I couldn’t stay happy, ever. I was just, completely lost in the world and didn’t understand myself. I became a shadow of my friend, followed everywhere the kid went. And then one day, we had to go our separate ways. So I was a shadow without a base to start from. There are many other kinds of loneliness and different feelings or emotions one has when they’re lost. And that’s what brought us all here. Almost every room is filled with lost people without a purpose or those who were bored of their life.” The tea pot screamed and he stood to pour it for the both of us. I wasn’t about to let the story go on hold.

“But, how did you all get here?” I questioned.

“My, my impatient now, eh? Ah well,” he was struggling with the tea, I stood and helped him. We walked back to the chairs and he went farther into the story. “She would find us. Hell, I don’t understand it and don’t think I ever will. Somehow she just drew us all in. One at a time, years after one another, she would take us. She could have knocked us out or seduced us, or anything, but we don’t usually remember how we get here. But we do know that she does things to us. Makes our bodies reflect who our mind is hiding inside. If you were really a dog in a human body, she would turn you into a dog. As I am shadow like now, I wasn’t always. She can manipulate life and the body. And she loves hearing us scream. That’s the one mistake everyone makes, letting her hear you scream and pleading her to kill you. It only makes her happier.”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed,” a short laugh came out and he smiled at me.

“You need sleep, I’ll get you a blanket.” That was it for now, the rest of the story would be saved for a later day. I was just relived that I had made it and this man would bring everything together for me. My only job was to understand, and get the hell outta here. I didn’t dream that night, or day. I was asleep for a long time. When I awoke the man told me that he couldn’t get me awake and thought I had died. But he left my body still, and then I woke up. I guess I was more tired then I thought.

“Tell me the rest?” was the first thing I managed to say.

“After lunch,” He made grilled cheese, it felt awful going into my stomach. I had to eat slowly and painfully in order to keep the food down. My first meal in weeks made my stomach turn and throat feel nauseated. But I needed to hear the rest. After we ate he told me to lie down, I tried to protest but a sudden sleep fell over me and I collapsed onto the couch. Feeling like Dorothy in a poppy flower flied, I slept a deep sleep, that could not be awaken for a while. I didn’t dream, or just wake up. I was stuck in black, an abyss, or a coma; a fucking working mind in a dead body.