The Alexander Swallowtail

How could something so sweet be interrupted by something so… rude? Gerard’s lips were soon to leave mine, though he didn’t put up any sort of protest. No sigh of discontent. Nothing. Maybe he’d made a mistake kissing me. Perhaps he was drunker than he seemed.

We’d been interrupted by the sirens first, then the silencing of the music which was followed by angry shouting.

“Everyone move along here,” came a bellow from somewhere inside the house. Gerard let go of me and opened the cupboard door, poking his head out for just a moment.

“You! Move along!” Gerard rolled his eyes as he turned back to face me.

“C’mon, we better leave. Frank lives just down the street. He’ll let us stay until I’m sober enough to drive.” I nodded my head and followed Gerard through the door and down the hallway to where two large cops stood in the kitchen, checking the pockets of some passers-by. “Keep your head down,” Gerard whispered as we came to approach them, but alas, it was of no help.

“Wait, you, how old are you?” one of the cops asked, turning my face towards the light. I turned to Gerard for some kind of help to find that he’d slinked off into the shadows, nowhere to be seen. “You’re gonna have to come with us.”

“What did I do wrong?” I asked, feeling an instant wave of nausea hit me once I realised I could be in a lot of trouble.

“You’re far too young to be out some place like this,” he replied. “Did you come with someone else?” I thought for a moment before I replied.

“No, no one.” He shook his head.

“They really should be teaching these young girls better,” he commented to his partner, who looked me up and down and agreed. “C’mon.” He took a strong grip of my arm and led me outside to where their patrol car was parked on the curb. I searched around for Gerard but couldn’t see that familiar mop of black hair in the dispersing crowd. The cop opened the door for me and made sure I wasn’t going to hit my head before he closed it behind me and had a few words with his partner. He then came around to hop in the driver’s seat, leaving his partner behind, presumably to make sure everyone had cleared out as they were told.

I wasn’t sure what was going on. Though, at least I hadn’t been cuffed. I gave the cop my name and address as he asked and stayed silent after that, not wanting to make my situation any worse.

“Relax,” the cop finally said after we’d driven a few streets. “I’m taking you home, that’s all. You’re not being arrested.” It felt safe to breathe again after that. “I don’t want to catch you out somewhere like this again, okay? Especially alone. It’s a dangerous world out there. Get yourself a good girl friend and keep each other safe,” he lectured me, his eyes finding mine as he looked into the rear view mirror. I simply nodded and turned away to look out the window. How could Gerard leave me there like that? Was he so worried about getting into trouble that he’d leave me alone to deal with whatever would come my way? Thankfully, I hadn’t been written up. This cop seemed nice. I thought he might have kids, perhaps daughters. I hated to think what might have happened if I’d come across a not so nice officer of the law.

“I’ll come let you out,” the cop told me as we got back to my place. To both my surprise and horror, my mother’s car was in the drive. Of all the Saturday nights she was home, it had to be this one. The door opened a moment later and I got myself up. I felt unease as the cop led the way in front of me, his heavy knock on the front door most definitely loud enough for my mother to have heard, though I still found myself standing there hoping she’d slept through it. My heart leapt up into my throat as she answered the door in her night down, her makeup in streaks down her face.

“Where have you been!?” she screeched across at me. “I was worried sick! Donna said she hadn’t seen you since this morning, and even Mikey didn’t know where you’d gone! Something about a party with Gerard!? And now you’re arriving back home in a police car!” She was in hysterics by this point. The cop had his hand placed gently on her shoulder, seemingly as worried as I was by her outburst. She’d never gone off at me like this before, not even that one time I ran off in the mall when I was younger because she wouldn’t let me meet Santa.

“The party was broken up after a number of noise complaints. She’s home safe now. Have a good night and Alison, don’t you be doing this again.” He smiled at my mother, gave me a hard stare, and then he was off, back in his patrol car and driving down the street. Once his car left our sight I felt a sting as my mother pulled me roughly inside the house and closed the door with enough force to make the walls rattle.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her worry for my well being getting in the way of her anger for just a moment.

“I’m–”

“You know what I don’t even care. Go to your room. I can’t look at you right now,” she said, holding her fingertips to her temples. I watched then as she calmly flicked the hallway light off and went back to bed, leaving me standing there in the dark with tears in my eyes. Never had I felt like such a disappointment.

I eventually found my way back into my room where I sat on my bed in front of the mirror, wiping hopelessly at the dark makeup that was smudged around my eyes, then changing back into something I felt comfortable in once more. I had blisters on my toes from the shoes and a puffy face from rubbing it a little too much.

As I lay in bed listening to the quiet of the night, I allowed the tiniest of smiles to grace my lips. Just for a moment, mind you. Gerard had kissed me. Though, despite the butterflies in my belly telling me things were just dandy, I had to wonder what it had meant… if anything at all. The idea that it had been just a kiss to Gerard was something I didn’t want to think about.