Space Enough to Grow

Everything has happened so suddenly. So suddenly and so lightening fast I never thought I would be at a point in my life where I wanted a boring life. I wanted a boring life in my boring mansion. I wanted Kade to be a boring and bland as possible. I wanted Alexander to act like a normal human baby. Crying all the time and filling up diapers like it's nothing.

I wanted a normal life, a boring life because that sounded far more better than my life at the moment.

Kade was pissed at me, Devin is missing, Ashley is probably planning my demise as we speak, all the vampires probably know about Alexander and are cooking up ideas or ways to steal him. Yeah, boring life sounds way better than all this shit. It's been a week since all of this has happened. Devin's trail has went totally cold, the rumors in the vampire world are dying down which isn't a good thing. If there are no rumors, then that means they are trying to keep quiet, keep then attention away from themselves for the obvious reason. Kade was hardly even talking to me let alone looking at me. Everyone is scattered out looking for any sign, any trace of Devin. He would never just up and leave, especially not leave without telling at least Angelo. Trying to balance out protecting Kade and Alexander and searching for Devin. I haven't had much time to evaluate the situation.

Things were getting out of control and I didn't know how much longer the thread would hold until it finally snaps.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, I was dropping off Kade and Alexander at Austin's house. I need someone to watch over them while I handled some business. I had to pull some strings, reach out to someone. Someone who could help me track down Devin or at least point me in the right direction. His name was Shayley. He used to run with Austin's clan but they had a falling out and went their separate ways. They just didn't see things eye to eye anymore so they thought it would be best to just split. That was a long time ago but Shay and I remained on semi good terms. He would give a call now and then or send a postcard. Thing is, he was always good at finding people. He found the people who didn't want to be found. He has ways of knowing things, which is why he was always useful and why I always kept some type of tie with him. In case I would need him, which right now, I do. I gave him a call a few days ago so he should be expecting me.

Kade was staring out the window, watching the rain fall on the windows creating a miscellaneous pattern of randomness. His legs were crossed in what would seem like a relaxed state but he was tensed. He's been like that ever since I told him everything and since we found out Devin was missing. Alexander was in the back, asleep in his car seat. Completely oblivious to the world around him. I envied him to be honest. The music flowing throughout the car was soft and quiet. Primavera by Ludovico Einaudi. A very beautiful and soothing piece of music. But nothing could sooth the tense feelings.

I pulled up in Austin's driveway where Alan and Phil stood on the porch under the shelter, waiting for our arrival. Kade said nothing as he got out. I sighed and got out as well. Kade waited silently as I got Alexander out of his car seat and covered his head with his hat to shield him from the rain. Kade and I walked up the rest of the driveway to the porch where I handed Alexander to Kade who took him without even glancing at me. The ache in my chest was resonating throughout my body. But I kept it together. Phil escorted them inside while Alan lingered outside.

"Things have been tough I'm assuming" Alan said to me and I snorted with a shake of my head.

"You have no idea Al" I answered him and he gave me a sympathetic look before pulling me in a tight hug. I accepted the hug gratefully because I sure as hell needed one. It's been the longest week of my life.

"Give him some time Chris. He'll come around" Alan whispered against my hair. I kissed his cheek before pulling away.

"I lied to him Alan...I doubt he'll ever come around. If he will, it won't be for awhile" I looked down at my shoes, sighing heavily.

"I'll talk to him Chris. Don't worry..things will work out. Just focus on finding Devin for today. Alexander and Kade will be safe with us" Alan reassured me. His reassurance was sweet but I couldn't let my guard down. Kade at this point was very unpredictable so it was best for me to give him his space and time to collect himself.

Alan and I hugged before I went back to my car and started it up, pulling out the driveway and driving down the street. My mind was occupied with everything that has happened which has become a regular thing now. Just so so much is happening and it's hard to get a grasp on everything, plus new things are popping up all over the place around ever corner. Slowly I'm losing a grip on reality.

I turned the music up just a little louder just as the Smiths came on the radio. How soon is now. One of my favorite songs.

The song eased me just a little bit but not enough to where my mind would relax. But I had to do something because this drive was going to be a long one. Shayley didn't exactly live very close due to the clashes with him and Austin.

Shayley and Austin actually used to be together. It was a very long time ago, about 60 years to be exact. Alan wasn't even in the picture at the time. I guess you could say they were a happy couple for awhile until Austin started missing something. He always felt so empty and was always so sad. None of us could figure it out, well they couldn't figure it out. I, however, already pretty much figured it was Shayley. Shay is a great guy and all but he just wasn't right for Austin. And Austin wasn't right for him. But I didn't say anything though, I just sat back and watched them struggle to work through things. I was waiting for them to eventually figure it out on their own.

They ended up having a huge argument after Austin caught Shayley with another man. Austin had finally had enough and left for a few months, only telling me where he was going. During that time, he met 22 year old Alan Ashby, a struggling artist in New York. Once he met Alan, he found the missing piece. I was more than happy for him, I was beyond thrilled. Shayley however, wasn't so happy with the news. Shayley cheated yes, but he still loved Austin. And part of Austin still loved Shayley. But it was obvious that Alan was meant for Austin. I had never seen Austin so happy in my life, the light in his eyes was back and was shining bright.

Over time, Austin and Shay tried to be friends but Shayley was just too jealous of Alan. Austin may have moved on, but Shayley didn't. So Austin and Shayley decided to just go their separate ways, which was the best for both of them. Years later, Alan and Austin are still in love and Shayley has moved on. It's changed for the better.
~

I was now entering Shayley's territory. He lived way out in the middle of nowhere just like the rest of us. Thankfully he knows I'm coming because usually this place is extremely guarded and has traps all over. Thats why it's best if you call him first so that you don't die trying to get to his house.

Driving up the smooth dirt path that led to his home, I slowed down just a little because he has one of those unnecessary swirly paths. He thought it was cool, I thought it was childish and stupid. With a roll of my eyes, I drove through the massive iron gates and stopped a few feet from his house. Shay must have been listening because he came outside just as I got out my car.

"Jesus Chris..You look old!" Shayley joked with me and I gave him a humorous grimace before embracing him in a hug.

"Fuck you too asshole" I mumbled and we both pulled away from each other. He looked to be happier and not as hurt as he was since I last saw him, which was years ago.

"So...what brings you to my neck of the woods?" He asked me with a sly grin. I smiled sadly at him and crossed my arms.

"I've gotten myself in quite a bit of trouble" Shay raised an eyebrow and chuckled slightly.

"What kind of trouble?"

"Life threatening trouble" I answered him and he tilted his head.

"Alright...let's go inside"

Sitting in Shay's living room, it was silent for a few minutes. I was debating on telling him what "trouble" I was in. Because telling him the trouble would mean I will have to tell him about Kade and Alexander. I wasn't sure if it was the right move given the danger that is already present. Shayley could turn against me and join with the rest of them in trying to get Alexander. I hated thinking of Shay that way but I can't be so trusting of everyone. I have to keep my guard up.

"So..."Shayley trailed off and I had realized that I went silent for a few minutes, lost in my thoughts. I quickly broke out of my trance and looked up at Shay.

"I..need to know..that I can trust you Shay" I said slowly and he gave me a look of confused hurt.

"Wha-" I cut him off.

"I just need to know..that you are on my side. That I can trust you with what I'm about to tell you. No bullshit, no lies, nothing. Can I trust you??" My face must have been pleading because he was looking at me with a shocked expression. I was one to never be so...pleading and helpless. I've been doing a lot of things nowadays that I wouldn't normally be doing...This whole ordeal is changing me, for the better or worse...I did not know the answer to that.

"Yes Chris..I promise you can always trust me. What's going on?" The happy joking mood had left the room and things felt tense and serious. I leaned back on his leather couch and took in a deep breath.

"You won't believe the mess I've gotten myself into.." I started.

By the end of the story, Shayley was staring at me with eyes like saucers.

"Alexander and Kade..they are my life..And I couldn't lose them Shay" He was still quiet but I could see the wheels turning in his head. He was processing everything and trying to understand.

"That's...that is..um..I don't even know what to say Chris-I-I really don't" I shook my head dismissively before speaking.

"No no it's okay. I dropped this all on you and it's only logical for you to be this confused. It's a lot to take in, I know"

"What is it you need my help with??" He suddenly asked me. I sat on the edge of the couch and straightened out my back.

"Devin has gone missing..I don't know if it's connected to Alexander or not but it's a big chance that it could be. I know it's a lot to ask of you and there's so little information but I need your help to find him and bring him home safely" My eyes were beginning to water just a little bit. I missed Devin so much. I felt so bad for Angelo who has been going insane without him and just..everything is so messed up. If Devin being missing is connected to the situation with Alexander, then I feel even worse because it's all my fault.

"Don't worry Chris..I'll help you in any way I can" He promised with a slight smile and I just felt a small sense of relief throughout my entire body. Finally something is going in my favor. One step closer to finding Devin.

"Where should we start?" I asked him and he got into a business like stance, with back straight as a blade and his hands clasped together.

"Well, from in my years you have to consider everyone. You can't just exclude people because you think you know them. There are people out there with hidden agendas that could be your mother, brother, best friend. You have to pay attention to the changes in the atmosphere. Look at characters and evaluate them. See if anything has changed. That's how I was always able to sniff out a liar in my days" I listened intently to his words and took down a mental note of everything he was telling me because all of it was important. Shayley was an expert on this subject, which is why I came to him.

"I have a few people in mind...but as for my crew..they would never. I know them too well. I know it in my heart... and Austin would never let his crew do such a thing. Ever..I can't think of anyone from my side...well except for Tj" I added and Shay's ears perked up. A smirk crossed his features and he leaned back.

"Tj was always a shady one. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a hand in this. He was always green with envy and jealousy. Besides, I knew Tj in his human life" Shay slumped back into a relaxed position.

"How the hell did you know Tj?"

"I was turned a few years before he was. I crossed his path in Ohio awhile ago. We became acquainted but it didn't last very long. He was very...jealous and a bit crazy to be honest. Always wanted the spotlight on him and if he didn't get it..he would find a way to get it or get revenge, which ever one was easier. Tj and I had a fling but that's all it was..just a fling. But he didn't see it that way and just went completely insane. Stalking me constantly, always trying to get back into my life, talking about being together and just..it was crazy. He claimed that he was in love with me and I had come to the conclusion that he was bat shit crazy. After I realized the type of person he was, I left without a word" I was shocked by this because neither Tj nor Shayley ever mentioned knowing each other. Well until now. This was alarming and my suspicions began to build up, red flags waving.

"Thanks Shayley...I really appreciate your help " I said as I stood up. He waved his hand dismissively before we engaged in a tight hug.

"Always willing to help an old friend..and don't worry" He added as he pulled back. "Your secret is safe with me and I'll contact you if I find out anything" I nodded at his promise.

"Stop by some time you fool" I said with a smirk to lighten to mood up. He let out a laugh and nodded with a big smile.

"Of course...I'd love to meet the troublesome Kade and Alexander" He winked at me and I smirked. As troublesome as they are, I still loved them with everything inside me.

"Take care of yourself and that family of yours.." He held my hand tight and I squeezed his. I didn't realize how much I had missed Shay. Yeah I understood why he left and it was a good thing but I still missed our friendship. I hope after this whole ordeal, we can rebuild that friendship.

"You too Shay..take care old friend.."
~~

The drive home was me thinking. Thinking so deeply about things. Especially about what Shay had told me about Tj. I mean I always knew he was a diva and was shady but was he really that sketchy? Always wanting the attention and getting pissed when he didn't get it. What he did to Shay. Stalking him and whatnot. Was Tj really that person??? I mean Shayley had no reason to lie to me and he did seem very truthful in what he was telling me.

But even as the type of person he was, was Tj really capable of betraying me in such ways? Did he really have a hand in this or is it a horrible misconception?

I had to take into consideration of what Shay told me. You can't put it past everyone because everyone you know could have a hidden agenda.

Questions were building up, burning into my mind and no answers to follow. I felt as if my brain was going to fry and I was going to die from the stress and frustrations. Could I die from this??? Maybe..it felt like I was.

After picking Kade and Alexander up from Austin's, we headed home. I noticed Kade wasn't as tense or as angry but he still didn't speak to me. But as least he didn't seem to be angry. He wasn't giving me any glares so I guess that was a good sign. Maybe Alan did talk to him and maybe Kade is rethinking the whole thing. But I didn't want to push it. So when we got home, I didn't say anything to him. I just let him have his space because I could be wrong and reading the signs incorrectly.

I got Alexander out of his carseat and carried his sleeping form up to the nursery where I sat in the rocking chair and relaxed. I had spent all day away from him so I just wanted a few minutes with him, to ease my mind which was working immensely.

I rocked back and forth with a soft force, just stroking Alexander's soft baby cheek. He looked so peaceful and so beautiful as he slept. He was just like an angel. An angel of destruction..his coming has brought so many problems but I couldn't hold him responsible. He was so innocent...Alexander was all I had right now..I've just felt so utterly alone but he made that go away.

"You're all I have in this world..." I whispered before kissing his cheek. "No matter what..I will always protect you my sweet...always..."