Bruised With Adversity

Jasper

Wasn’t it awkward enough last time? This could so easily be avoided. He could’ve gone to the bathroom to get changed. I could just look away. I could leave, yet I felt frozen in place. Why couldn’t I leave? What invisible force was keeping my feet rooted in place? I used to think I was the most vile human on the planet. Now I know I was wrong. I could be even more disgusting. Even when I thought it was impossible, I successfully became so much more filthy than I could’ve ever imagined.

I was entranced by how his nimble fingers grasped the edge of his boxers and slid them down over his taut thigh muscles, falling down to his calves and then resting at his ankles. I studied his whole body, every part of his perfect anatomy. And I couldn’t believe how we could be full brothers. He was so beautiful, and I was so completely hideous.

And then it hit me, we were brothers. As I came back to reality, I became aware of Marcus’s eyes on me. Several emotions played on his face. The first one was confusion, then shock, and then embarrassment. Yet, he did nothing to cover himself up. He stood perfectly motionless, and completely nude. I was slightly aware of the massive erection growing in my pants as I lapsed back into my own hazy world of carefree bliss and admiration for the Adonis standing before me.

Then something pulled me back into reality, once again. I saw Marcus rushing to get dressed, and a loud grinding sound that hurt my ears. At once, I knew that sound to be Bernice. I turned around to face the door. She was flailing her arms wildly, yelling and screaming about something about sins and Satan and filth. I only caught a few key words. I was still slowly withdrawing from my dazed state.

I saw Marcus run out of the room and I heard the door slam shut, meaning he must’ve been off to school. Bernice walked from the room, and I was filled with relief. The relief immediately dissipated and turned into dread when she came back, with a cigarette lighter and a safety pin. She wore that same sardonic smile she did when she burnt me with the cigarette, which had been four days ago. I felt completely aware now. Every sound, sight, and feeling was intensified.

Bernice heat the needle with the flame from her cigarette lighter. I tried to crawl around her, to escape, but she kicked me in the face. That, of course, slowed me down. She closed the door and stood in front of it so that I couldn’t leave. The tip of the needle was bright orange, and I prayed to die right there, before she had the chance to get her hands on me. I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I deserved whatever punishment she had in mind. Maybe then I would learn to be good.

She shoved me down so that I was laying on my back. She took my t-shirt off and straddled me, leaving me feeling more vulnerable than I ever had. I hoped my screams were muffled by the door being closed, as I feared Lydia would wake up. There was no way I could keep quiet during the punishment. It was nothing compared to the cigarette burn days before. I begged and pleaded for her to stop, even though I knew I deserved it, but she only dug the needle in further. I didn’t look. I had my eyes closed tightly the whole time. But I knew what she wrote. I felt what she wrote. I felt each letter being engraved in the soft flesh of my stomach.

FAGGOT.

I was now permanently branded with the word. It would stay with me for the rest of my life, a blunt reminder of how revolting of a person I truly am, and forever will be.