Gotta Get Out
3
When I got home, my mother was already in the doorway waiting for me. I gulped and entered the living room, shutting the door behind me.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” She started yelling immediately. I felt my throat start to tighten as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I smelled the alcohol on her breath. “You just go out after school with all these boys and do god knows what when you should be here focusing on your studies!”
She started to move closer to me, and I backed against the wall, my breathing becoming shallow in fear.
“I-“ I couldn’t breathe.
“You need to go up to your room right now and do your homework. I don’t want you ever hanging out with those boys again. Ever.”
“N-no.” I stuttered out, not thinking. I was only thinking about never seeing Ashton again, and the thought hurt me.
“What did you just say?!” She raised her hand, but I opened the door and ran back out it, ignoring her shouting.
My legs quickly went back towards Calum’s house, where my friends still were, back to comfort. I couldn’t breathe. I knocked on the door when I got there, despite the late hour, and I could feel the tears falling down my face. I heard voices, and then footsteps coming down the stairs. When Calum opened the door, he held back a gasp.
“Liv, what’s wrong?” He asked, pulling me inside.
I wanted to answer. I really wanted to, but I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t focus.
“A-Ashton.” I choked out.
Calum understood, and he ran back up the stairs. Less than a minute later, the curly haired boy was bounding down the stairs. He stopped, took in my appearance, and then walked cautiously over to me.
“Olivia, it’s going to be okay.” He said slowly, soothingly. “I need you to focus on me and I need you to breathe.”
My vision was getting blurry, and I couldn’t focus on anything but his voice. He knew that as he stepped closer to me.
“Liv, honey, breathe. Slowly. In and then out, just like we practiced before.”
He demonstrated breathing, and I closed my eyes, focusing on the sound of normal breathing. I was slowly starting to come back down to earth.
“Liv, I’m going to hug you now, okay?”
I nodded once, and he pulled me into his chest, gently, but firmly enough so I could take in the way he was breathing, and sync my breathing to his. I’m not sure how long we stood there like that, but eventually, my breathing evened out, and I choked back a sob.
“I-I’m sorry.” I muttered into his chest.
“Shh. Shh. It’s not your fault.” Ashton soothed, running a hand through my hair. “But Jesus, does it scare me every time.”
I chuckled a little and Ashton pulled back to smile at me.
“There’s the smile that I was looking for.”
Just then, the sound of a throat clearing could be heard. We both turned to see all of our friends standing at the top of the stairs with wide eyes.
“A-are you okay, Liv?” Luke was the first to speak.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Lu.” I muttered. “Sorry for scaring you like that when I got here, Cal.”
Calum waved me off.
“As long as you’re okay.” He said. I nodded and Ashton gave me a look that said we would talk about this later.
“Are you going to stay? We’re putting on another movie.” Michael asked.
I smiled and nodded, grabbing Ashton’s hand and leading him back up the stairs to be with my friends, forgetting about real life, at least for the night.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” She started yelling immediately. I felt my throat start to tighten as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I smelled the alcohol on her breath. “You just go out after school with all these boys and do god knows what when you should be here focusing on your studies!”
She started to move closer to me, and I backed against the wall, my breathing becoming shallow in fear.
“I-“ I couldn’t breathe.
“You need to go up to your room right now and do your homework. I don’t want you ever hanging out with those boys again. Ever.”
“N-no.” I stuttered out, not thinking. I was only thinking about never seeing Ashton again, and the thought hurt me.
“What did you just say?!” She raised her hand, but I opened the door and ran back out it, ignoring her shouting.
My legs quickly went back towards Calum’s house, where my friends still were, back to comfort. I couldn’t breathe. I knocked on the door when I got there, despite the late hour, and I could feel the tears falling down my face. I heard voices, and then footsteps coming down the stairs. When Calum opened the door, he held back a gasp.
“Liv, what’s wrong?” He asked, pulling me inside.
I wanted to answer. I really wanted to, but I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t focus.
“A-Ashton.” I choked out.
Calum understood, and he ran back up the stairs. Less than a minute later, the curly haired boy was bounding down the stairs. He stopped, took in my appearance, and then walked cautiously over to me.
“Olivia, it’s going to be okay.” He said slowly, soothingly. “I need you to focus on me and I need you to breathe.”
My vision was getting blurry, and I couldn’t focus on anything but his voice. He knew that as he stepped closer to me.
“Liv, honey, breathe. Slowly. In and then out, just like we practiced before.”
He demonstrated breathing, and I closed my eyes, focusing on the sound of normal breathing. I was slowly starting to come back down to earth.
“Liv, I’m going to hug you now, okay?”
I nodded once, and he pulled me into his chest, gently, but firmly enough so I could take in the way he was breathing, and sync my breathing to his. I’m not sure how long we stood there like that, but eventually, my breathing evened out, and I choked back a sob.
“I-I’m sorry.” I muttered into his chest.
“Shh. Shh. It’s not your fault.” Ashton soothed, running a hand through my hair. “But Jesus, does it scare me every time.”
I chuckled a little and Ashton pulled back to smile at me.
“There’s the smile that I was looking for.”
Just then, the sound of a throat clearing could be heard. We both turned to see all of our friends standing at the top of the stairs with wide eyes.
“A-are you okay, Liv?” Luke was the first to speak.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Lu.” I muttered. “Sorry for scaring you like that when I got here, Cal.”
Calum waved me off.
“As long as you’re okay.” He said. I nodded and Ashton gave me a look that said we would talk about this later.
“Are you going to stay? We’re putting on another movie.” Michael asked.
I smiled and nodded, grabbing Ashton’s hand and leading him back up the stairs to be with my friends, forgetting about real life, at least for the night.