Status: Complete

When We're Both Thirty

Frank and Gerard were childhood friends. And then they were enemies. Finally, they became strangers. They’d been friends though, and maybe they’d been a little too affectionate, because everyone thought the two of them would get married someday. Before they became enemies, they had even agreed to use each other as a backup plan. If, by the time they both reached their thirtieth year, they hadn’t found someone to marry, they’d marry each other.

They have thirty three days left.
  1. Prologue
    The tale of how fifth graders are scary when you're a small, possibly gay, first grader.
  2. Remember the Neighbor?
    Evidently, Gerard got fired. Again.
  3. Shit*** and ***head
    Well, uh, Frank makes a prominent entrance.
  4. More Insults
    Basically the same as the last chapter, but also not.
  5. He's Got a Thing For Band Members
    Though to be fair, who doesn't have a thing for band members?
  6. Blind Date
    They're all the same ages so what sue me?
  7. Stunted Conversations With Frank and Mikey, Starring Gerard Way: Part 1
    Mikey is either an ironically accurate joker or a psychic.
  8. Stunted Conversations With Frank and Mikey, Starring Gerard Way: Part 2
    Mikey's plan backfires.
  9. Hot... and Gross
    I think the best way to describe this chapter is for you to ***ing read it. How's that for a summary?
  10. Impure Thoughts On High
    We're officially into the double digits of chapters. I feel like I'm in a committed relationship with you guys now.
  11. [Insert Whimsical Chapter Title]
    [Insert summary making a joke about how lazy I am and how I hate writing summaries]
  12. The Beginning of the Turn: Part One
    I'm uncertain about the quality of this chapter, but whatever.
  13. The Beginning of the Turn: Part Two
    I've got headaches, and bad luck.
  14. Mikey is Basically Smarter Than Everyone On the Planet
    When I find myself in times of trouble, Mikey Way comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom.
  15. Yet Another Chapter in Two Parts: Part One
    Lots of Disney references in this chapter.
  16. Yet Another Chapter in Two Parts: Part Two
    Frank fails to prove a point.
  17. Mikey the Voyeur
    Gerard is an eavesdropper.
  18. Be Wary Where You Meddle
    Gerard Way, master eavesdropper, snooper, and sticker of his nose in business that is not his own.
  19. Deal With It
    Admission expedition.
  20. Really Long Chapter Where All That Is Achieved Is ***ing
    You know how few synonyms for "kiss" there are? It's so annoying.
  21. Gerard the Day Tripper
    Mikey's on the case.
  22. *** It
    Mikeyway looks through a yearbook.
  23. Shattering
    And the walls kept tumbling down.
  24. The Bitch
    The ball drops.
  25. A Dissection of the Soul
    I did some venting with this chapter, and that's why it's so long-winded. Sorry.
  26. Ice Cream Will Fix It
    Gerard leaves a very depressing voice mail.
  27. The Penultimate Penultimate Penultimate Chapter
    Three chapters left.
  28. Somewhat Depressing Chapter
    Oh god, only two chapters left.
  29. Something
    Gerard and Frank are both stupid.
  30. Epilogue: Return of Shit*** and ***head
    “Hate is just the most extreme version of love.”