You Keep Me Warm

The days were finally getting colder. Maybe not as cold as the east coast weather she grew up dealing with, but still pretty chilly to the point where she was wearing her favorite knitted sweater while relaxing near the fireplace. They had bought some logs a few weeks back and had decided to light one up because that day just seemed so perfect for it.

It was soothing to Hayley in a way; hearing the crackle of the flames as the fire provided her with a level of warmth that the heater lacked and watching the tiny sparks that were produced from the burning wood. She felt she could stare at it for hours and it helped that the mantle was adorned with beautifully festive decorations. Christmas was coming and she and Oli were in the process of getting the house ready for the holidays. It was definitely helping her get into the spirit of things and she appreciated the view.

There was a garland on the fireplace with pinecones that smelled of cinnamon and bright white lights wrapped around it. Hooks that were in the shape of snowmen were placed on the mantle to hold five stockings that each had their own unique design and a name etched onto it. Taking a look at the stockings, she grinned at how many they had hung up. Three of them belonged to their dogs because she insisted they be involved because they were family and it just wouldn’t be right if they didn’t have stockings for them. It wasn’t like Oli disagreed either because he was thinking the exact same thing and was already getting money out of his wallet to buy them.

“Alright, it’s ready.”

She turned her head toward the kitchen where she heard Oli’s voice and smiled when he walked into the living room. He had two mugs in his hands, one with the letter “O” on it and the other with a letter “H”. It was quite a trip for him to get to her since there were a few boxes of ornaments on the ground and at the sight of him coming into the room, Alf and Oskar were running in circles around his legs to get his attention. Meanwhile, Dylan, their newest and smallest dog had made his way onto Hayley’s lap to sleep.

Giggling at Oli walking toward her slowly and carefully, she helped him out by whistling to get the dogs to stop what they were doing, which worked. They both looked at her and sat down to wait for her command.

“Come here, you two,” she said. “Let him sit down first. You don’t want him to spill those hot drinks all over himself, do you?”

Oli definitely didn’t want that. It happened once before and no bottle thrown at him on stage or wall of death could compare to how painful that was. Fortunately for him, both Alf and Oskar had ran over to Hayley to paw at her legs as she pet them behind the ears.

Eventually, he made it and sat down next to her, giving her a peck on cheek. “Thanks.”

“I would’ve helped, but I didn’t want to wake this one up.” She looked down at Dylan, who still didn’t budge. “He’s been using me as a pillow a lot lately. Maybe it’s because of how big my stomach is now.”

It’s been five months. She rested a hand on her belly that had grown a few inches, showing that she did, in fact, have a very visible bump. Hayley was in the second trimester of her pregnancy and it had dawned on her how much time had passed. Did she really only have just four more months until she was a mom? The other day she and Oli had even gotten an ultrasound.

The first few months took some time getting used to, especially since she was still touring when she found out and worried how her performances would affect the baby or if she could even do any shows in the later months. There was also all the morning sickness she had to endure and she found herself always running to the bathroom or some nearby trashcan on the bus. Still, she didn’t let it completely take over and did the best she could. The fans were understanding when she shared the news and they knew she wasn’t pushing herself too hard on stage for the sake of the baby. They still enjoyed her presence and how positive she stayed throughout, especially during the shows in Brazil where she was feeling fatigued at times.

Thankfully, those were the last Paramore shows for the year and she was free to rest and relax for the next few months. She took that opportunity to travel with Oli while he and his band toured, either lounging backstage (and obviously doing some online shopping) or singing on stage with him during “Deathbeds”. After a few weeks on the road, it all came to an end after their big Wembley show and one last quick trip to New York. They were finally home in Los Angeles to make the most of their time off.

“Maybe. Or it could be because he just loves you more than me,” Oli mused. “But anyway, I got the drinks ready. Hot chocolate for you and tea for me.”

“You’re my hero,” Hayley rejoiced and took her mug from him, grinning widely at how perfect he made it look. “And you added extra marshmallows? Ugh, you’re amazing.”

She set her mug down on the coffee table for the moment as her beverage was still too hot for her to drink and she didn’t want to risk burning her tongue. Then without hesitation, she took his face in her hands and gave him a quick kiss on the lips as a thank you. He had been so sweet in taking care of her lately; way sweeter than he needed to be considering how she knew she could be hard to deal with during all this.

“It’s the least I could do since you did a lot of cooking today.” Oli set his own mug down next to hers and then put his arm around her. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder, the both of them gazing at their Christmas tree on the other side of the room. So far they had only put up the lights and about four or five ornaments, but by the end of the night they were for sure going to be able to view it in its full glory.

“Well, you got the tree and set it up,” she reminded him. “So it’s not like I did all the work here. You got us the best tree, Oli. It looks so nice in our living room.”

“It just felt right to get a real one this year,” Oli said. “I always enjoy the smell. And since we actually had time to get one, I just thought fuck it, we’re getting it.”

Hayley smirked and couldn’t help but love how enthusiastic he had been for the holidays. Getting a real tree actually was a spur-of-the-moment decision on Oli’s part and when she told the others the story of how they got it, she wasn’t exaggerating. While in the car on the way home from the airport, he literally looked at her and told her they should go get a tree that very moment. It was that spontaneous.

“You know,” she began. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting differently lately.”

Oli gave her a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“The whole vibe you’ve been giving off these past few weeks,” Hayley told him. “This year you’re really excited for Christmas. Like even more than me and that’s saying a lot. And no, don’t say it’s because my pregnancy has affected my excitement because I read up that after the first three months I feel more energized, which is true in my case.”

There were several candy canes on the table that they planned to use for decoration, but she took one of them anyway and opened it. After all, they had more than they needed and stealing one wouldn’t hurt. She used it as a stirring stick for her drink, all the while Oli just watched her and couldn’t stop staring at her mouth when she brought the candy to her lips to suck on it. It seemed like she was doing this on purpose to tease him because she laughed again when she caught him looking.

“Well, aren’t you so observant,” he said, also taking a candy cane. “But I’m not gonna lie, you figured me out. I’m way more in the spirit of things this year because it’s been such a great month.”

“It has,” she agreed. “I don’t really blame you for being so cheerful. You’ve released more stuff for your clothing line, you got to play an amazing little intimate show where you performed an old song for the first time in three years with Curtis, the big show at Wembley Arena, and we got to spend more time together while exploring different places.”

It was an understatement to say how well everything was going for them. They’ve both released new music for the fans and everyone had given them positive reception for it. Hayley was also finally going to start her own hair dye line, something she had been planning and wanting to achieve for over a year. Then there was the baby and the fact that they were going to be first time parents in April.

“We can’t forget the newest member of our family.” Oli also put his hand on her stomach. “Or the ‘Parahorizon’ baby, as Taylor would say. Out of everything that’s happened, this is really the main reason I’m so happy.”

Hayley let her fingers intertwine with his. “You’re going to be such a great dad. But...are you sure you don’t want to know the gender?”

“I want to be surprised,” Oli replied. “I like not knowing.”

“I do, too.”

Boy or girl, it didn’t matter. They had no preference in mind and all they honestly cared about was that they ended up loving and caring for a great kid. They were ready for this.

While they were conversing and enjoying their drinks, Dylan had woken up at this time and got up to find some other place to sleep. His decision was to crawl over to where Alf and Oscar were near the tree. After so much jumping and chasing each other, they were both curled up and sleeping. This gave Dylan the opportunity to climb on top of them and use them as his new bed.

Hayley let out a contented sigh and relaxed against Oli, taking in the calming atmosphere of the scene before her. All three of their dogs just laying together and snoring away, the garlands and ornaments all laid out while waiting to be placed on the tree, and the lovely fire that warmed her up as she let Oli hold her close.

“Big things always seem to happen in December,” she murmured. “And this December ended up being so perfect.”

Oli just nodded, her words prompting him to reflect on her words and his mind started flashing back to all the winters he’s spent with her. All this time they’ve been together, each December had been filled with life-changing events that made their relationship grow stronger and bring them closer to one another as their chances of finding happiness became even more possible.

“Remember our first Christmas together?” he asked, his lips forming a wide smile. “When we were still in that fucking mushy honeymoon phase until our families butt in?”

“Oh, yeah. When we finally got to meet each other’s parents.” Hayley laughed at the memory. “I still remember how absolutely terrified you looked through webcam when your mother told you she wanted to meet me.”

“Well, I mean, you would freak out too if she was your mum,” Oli retorted. “When I first told her about you, she was already asking me if we were having safe sex.”

That just made Hayley laugh even harder. “We were, though. Your mom had nothing to worry about. Did you tell her that?”

“Yeah, of cour- okay, that’s beside the point. Anyway, it may sound funny now, but it was so much worse at the time.” He groaned. “Shit, if she had brought that up when you were there, I would’ve died.”

She shook her head as she chuckled, then broke away from his embrace to put her candy cane back into the mug before taking a sip. “But in the end, I ended up having a good time with your family and now they love having me over.”

Despite all his nervousness over whether his parents would scare her away or humiliate him until he was a pile of dust, that first year Hayley spent Christmas Eve with his parents and Tom turned out just fine. They told a few stories of Oli’s childhood, some slightly embarrassing but even he considered them funny and Hayley helped him out by sharing some stories of her own about herself. She wasn’t shy at all with them, even giving them hugs as soon as she was introduced. It was almost as if she had been friends with them for a long time; being so relaxed and comfortable as she gave them her full attention during each story, each joke, and each conversation.

After Hayley said her goodbyes and headed back into the car, Oli’s parents told him exactly what they thought of her.

“She’s a very sweet and wonderful girl, Oliver. Your dad and I can see why you like her so much”

“If we had known how fun she could be, we would’ve told you to bring her over sooner. She’s a keeper, son. And from the way you were looking at her the whole night, it seems you’re thinking the same thing.”

He was. Just seeing how she felt so at home even if it was her first time being there, how much she made Christmas with his family so memorable gave him a feeling that he had never felt back when he was with SJ. That’s when he knew—when they all knew—that this whole thing with Hayley...this was different.

“After that, they wouldn’t stop asking me when you were going to come over again,” Oli went on. “But what about what happened for Christmas Day? That’s when I had to meet your family.”

Hayley teasingly pinched his cheek. “My mom thought you were adorable because of how awkward you were at times.”

“I wanted to make a good impression,” Oli said in his defense, his cheeks turning a bit red the more he thought about the meeting. “Because you know how people react when they see all my tattoos and hear my music and shit.”

But Hayley’s mom didn’t look down on him for that at all. She was pretty open-minded and believed it was great that he was expressing himself the way he wanted to and told him to never stop making music, no matter what people thought of him. Oli enjoyed getting to know her. She was confident and bubbly, which made him understand why Hayley was the way she was and upon learning she was a life coach, he knew she was pretty damn good at her job from the words of wisdom she had passed onto him.

He didn’t meet her dad until a few days later that. It was always meeting the dad that made him have more of a freak out, especially since fathers tend to be extremely protective of their daughters. It didn’t help that SJ’s dad wasn’t really too fond of him and after the break up it only made things worse, even though she was the one that dumped him. Meeting Hayley’s dad was the complete opposite. While he was protective and simply told Oli that he wanted to make sure he took care of her, he approved of him and now Oli considers him like a second father.

“But then you realized you had nothing to worry about because my parents would never ever judge you for the way you look or how much you screamed,” Hayley said. “And you eventually became their favorite person.”

“I know your sisters think of me as their favorite person, that’s for sure,” Oli pointed out, laughing.

“Oh, God, I have no idea why they felt the need to ask you so many questions.” She rolled her eyes. “Other than that, though, it’s great that they look up to you and like hanging out with you.”

“I love hanging out with Erica and McKayla,” he told her. “I’ve dealt with a younger brother all my life, so it was cool getting to see what it was like to have sisters.”

Erica and McKayla were always excited when Oli visited. They’d wrestle with him and he’d even bring them some Drop Dead stuff. Sometimes Hayley would also bring Erica along to one of his shows.

His words made her think of another memory and she smiled. “You like them so much that you went so far to help me plan a surprise birthday party for Erica last year. Man, the holidays in 2013 were the most fun yet.”

“Are you just saying that because of what I did on New Year’s?” Oli smirked, then held her hand so he could kiss where the ring was. “How I brought you to the roof and got you with the mistletoe after I went down on one knee...”

“...And gave one of the sweetest, cheesiest, most beautiful proposals ever?” Hayley giggled. “You were so full of surprises that year.”

Her heart still fluttered at the thought of what happened a year ago. At first she was a little bummed due to Oli telling her the unfortunate news that he wasn’t able to spend time after Christmas with her, but that all turned out to be a lie for him to fly over to Nashville for her birthday. Then they celebrated Erica turning 18 and went on to attend a New Year’s Eve party in New York, where he finally told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

“I had that ring with me all December,” he began as they both gazed at the ring. “Just waiting for the right time to ask what I had been wanting to ask ever since we started dating.”

“Five years,” she mused.

He looked her in the eyes. “Five amazing years.”

“Everybody kept saying we wouldn’t last.”

“And now we’re having a baby and getting married.”

It only took one shared look for them to both know what was going through each other’s heads. They remembered how they weren’t always so put together and how they had to go through so much to shape their lives into their own happy ending. Hayley brought her legs up so that they were draped over Oli’s lap and her back was resting against the arm of the couch. As cozy as the fire made them feel, she still felt the need to wrap her arms around his neck and nuzzle against his chest.

“We’ve come so far from how we were a few years ago.” Oli continued. “Like you said, big things always happened to us in December, but they weren’t always good. Remember what happened in 2010? When I was so messed up?”

That was the year where they could describe the holidays as anything but cheerful. Instead of carols, presents, and family, they had breakdowns, suicidal thoughts, broken friendships, and self-doubt. It made them so miserable to the point where they didn’t want to be around anyone to ruin anything. While trying to think of reasons why he shouldn’t just end his life, Oli was struggling with keeping his hands away from all the alcohol and drugs he had held onto for so long. Then there was Hayley, who became so cold and distant, harshly pushing people away while questioning if she was actually acting like the person Josh Farro said she was.

“We were both messed up,” Hayley muttered. “It wasn’t just you. I was so horrible to you. To everyone. I almost gave up.”

“But you didn’t.” He cupped her cheek. “Neither did I. It was all because we realized we didn’t want all that fucking negativity to win. So we helped each other and fought through all that shit and we won. Now we’re more than okay. I’m still alive and I got you.”

“You got me.” Hayley nodded. “Nobody thought we’d work, but you understand me more than anyone else. So fuck ‘em.”

Oli beamed at her before leaning forward so that they could lay on the couch together. It was big enough so that they could lay side by side facing each other, but he still made sure he was closer to the edge to avoid putting too much pressure on her stomach while she shifted her body to give him more room. When they were settled, with their faces just inches apart, she let her fingers trail along his cheek.

He stopped her hand from moving down further and took it away from his face so that their fingers laced together again. He kissed her and could taste a bit of peppermint off her lips, making him want to keep his pressed against them for a few more minutes. When they parted, Hayley closed her eyes and smiled, not wanting to move away from this position because it was just way too comfortable.

“Should we get back to decorating?” he asked.

“Not yet,” she answered. “I just want to lay here with you. Let’s just...relax for five more seconds.”

She wasn’t cold anymore and continued to nestle in his arms, feeling the beat of his heart. Their drinks were forgotten, still on the coffee table and getting cold but she didn’t care. No cup of coffee, tea, or hot cocoa—no matter how hot it was—could ever keep her warm the way Oli did. With him, she felt so safe and at home and as long as he was there holding her, she didn’t need that mug of hers or the fireplace. She had him.

Just as he was about to respond, the doorbell rang.

“They’re here!” Hayley exclaimed. Since it was so quiet up until that point, the sudden noise had startled them and resulted in her immediately sitting upright while Oli accidentally rolled off the couch, hitting the carpet floor with a loud thud. “Oh my God, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he groaned, getting to his feet as he rubbed the back of his head. “Let’s just get the door.”

Hayley grabbed his hand and tried the best she could to hide her amusement at his clumsiness as they headed to the door. Though it hurt a little and there most likely was going to be a bump on his head later, he didn’t bother to hide his own laughter.

Finally, they opened the door and were met with the smiling faces of Oli’s bandmates and his brother. Along with Nicholls, Vegan, and Jordan were Chloe, Hanna, and Emma. Behind them were Jeremy, Kat, and Bliss. Everyone’s hands were full, either carrying presents or dishes and as soon as the door opened they all headed inside to escape the cold. That’s when a bunch of hugs were exchanged and all the dogs had awakened, joining the commotion by running around everyone in order to get some attention.

“I’m so glad you guys made it,” Hayley said as she hugged Kat, who couldn’t quite reciprocate at the moment because she was holding a glass dish covered in foil. With all that was going on, she didn’t notice that they were missing two people and realized who wasn’t there yet. “Where’s Taylor and Noelle?”

“They told us they were stopping by the store to get some stuff,” Kat explained. “I’m pretty sure they’re just getting sodas so it won’t take long. Now if you’ll excuse me, I should bring this into the kitchen. Is your oven on?”

“Yeah, it is,” Hayley replied. “I have something in there, but it’s almost done so you could use it soon.”

Meanwhile, the rest of them all sat down on the chairs and couches in the living room. All the presents they had brought were put near the tree and Oli was close to commenting on how most of them were gift bags since he knew that none of the guys could actually wrap a present. Another reason was that it was faster to put something into a bag and they sort of had a valid excuse due to touring.

And it’s not like he had room to talk. He couldn’t wrap for shit and it was usually Hayley that took care of that.

Tom was observing the tree and then turned to his brother. “You still got all these boxes around here. You two didn’t finish the tree yet?”

“Well, we were trying to get it all done before you guys came,” Oli said. “But Hayley had to cook and I wanted to help her out, then we took a break.”

“I think it’s kind of good that they didn’t finish,” Jordan admitted. “We could all help decorate it. Have some fun, you know?”

“I like that idea,” Emma agreed, linking her arm with her husband and leaning on his shoulder. “That’s always my favorite part during Christmas. So anyway, how’s Hayley been?”

“She’s been feeling much better,” Oli responded. “Lately, she’s been saying how she’s feeling less tired and how she no longer feels like she has to throw up every few seconds. We also went to the doctor’s the other day to see how the baby looks.”

“Oh, so you got an ultrasound,” Lee said. “Is it gonna be a boy or girl?”

Oli shrugged. “We don’t know. We didn’t want them to tell us.”

“Wait, you didn’t want them to tell you?” Vegan furrowed his brow. The others looked just as confused, though Jeremy just nodded in understanding as he held Bliss on his lap.

“That’s what Kat and I said, too,” Jeremy cut in. “Except we caved in and she ended up calling to find out anyway.”

Nicholls smirked and pulled out his wallet. “So who wants to bet they’re having a girl?”

As some of them started placing bets, Tom put a hand on Oli’s shoulder. “Ready to be a dad?”

He let out a slight laugh and grinned at Tom, pausing for a moment before giving him an answer. The reason he laughed a little wasn’t because he thought he was joking, but because he actually had an answer that he was more sure about than anything else in the world. If he was asked that same question five years ago, the guy he used to be would definitely consider the idea of raising a family, being in love, and simply living as a load of pointless bullshit.

Now he can’t ever fucking imagine having that mentality.

“I’m more than ready,” Oli finally said. “And I can’t wait.”

Tom smiled at his response. “You know, when we were younger I never thought I’d actually be asking you that, but here we are. I didn’t know shit, though, because so much has changed and you’ve really grown up. Back then I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me you were ready. But now? I can see how excited you are for this kid and I just know you’re gonna love ‘em and take care of them. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Tom.”

There was then another knock at the door and when Oli opened it, in came Taylor and Noelle. Like Kat said, they had the bags of soda along with their presents and because they were going to be the ones to pass out the gifts, they both were wearing Santa hats.

“Sorry we’re late,” Noelle said. “I had to tell Taylor we needed to limit the number of sodas we were going to buy.”

With everyone there, they were all finally able to have fun for the rest of the evening. Hayley had made everyone coffee and hot chocolate since she knew it wasn’t fair for only her and Oli to have something to drink. Kat was still cooking and Chloe had decided to help her out while Jordan put on Christmas songs so that there’d be music playing as everyone helped finish the tree. Bliss was wide awake and being carried by Nicholls, who helped her put up some ornaments. They were all joking around and singing off key, glad that they were all hanging out together after so long.

Not long after all the decorations were up, all the food was set on the dining table and Kat called all of them to eat. When they were all gathered around the table, both Hayley and Oli had a few words they wanted to say.

Hayley started first. “It means so much to us that you’re all here. It really does. The holidays are all about spending time with all the people you love and I couldn’t imagine us all not being together, which is why Oli and I decided to have this little Secret Santa get-together since we all have other places to be for Christmas. 2014 has been so great and you’re all the main reason why it’s been so amazing. We love you guys.”

“Without a doubt, I can honestly say that this year was the year for us.” Oli went on to say once she was done. “We all kicked ass and in all my life, I’ve never had a year that was filled with so much positivity and so much life-changing stuff. Everyone in this room means the world to me and I want to spend the next hundred years being surrounded by you guys. What can I say? We’re all a family.”

“A Parahorizon family,” Taylor added, muttering under his breath.

“Yeah, a Parahorizon family. That’s exactly what we are.” Hayley giggled. She then looked down at her stomach and gently placed her hands on it. “And soon this baby’s going to be apart of it. They’re in good hands.”

She didn’t know how effective her words were until she looked up to see everyone gazing at her with big smiles, some eyes even watery from the emotional speeches. Kat wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that she was shedding tears because she was currently holding a napkin to her face and blowing her nose.

“Okay, this is getting too much. I might get all my tears on the food,” Kat joked as she wiped her eyes. “Come on, everyone. Let’s eat.”

Everybody began filling their plates with food, returning to all their silly jokes and crazy stories while Oli stood there with Hayley, putting his arm around her. They wanted to take a long, hard look at the life that their child was going to be born into. It was a hectic, music-filled, and beyond ordinary life that they loved living.

This still continued afterward when they were all done eating and back in the living room to open all their presents. Hayley was sitting on Oli’s lap, holding him close while they sat at their special spot on the couch near the fireplace. Bliss was in the middle of opening all her presents (because she got gifts from all of them) while Taylor and Noelle started passing out the rest to everyone else.

They loved every single aspect of their life and didn’t wish at all for any part of it to be different. Even the bad things had helped shape them into the people they had become. Without some of the bad, they probably wouldn’t have learned or grown and for all they knew, their lives could’ve went in a direction they didn’t want. In their own way, this life they had together was absolutely perfect and it was going to welcome this baby of theirs with open arms.

“Merry Christmas, Oli,” Hayley whispered before leaning in to give him a kiss.

He didn’t hesitate to return it. “Merry Christmas, Hayles.”

It wasn’t exactly Christmas. Not yet, at least. But with how incredible everything felt at that moment, it might as well be.