Speak to Me

‘He’s back at work, but Alysha said he’s been assigned to work in the office for today so you won't be able to meet him. Sorry bro.’ The text read. The text that suddenly made my day worse than it already was. I was actually ecstatic when I realized today would be the day I met ‘him’. But now that the opportunity is gone, I couldn’t help but feel down. I was snapped out of my thoughts when someone knocked on the counter.

“How may I help you.” I spoke with an exasperated sigh, not even bothering to turn around. I didn’t even want to be here right now. Oh god, I sound like an over emotional teenager. After a few seconds, I didn’t receive a response. Annoyed, I decided to turn around and give this person my attention. My eyes widened and suddenly my mood wasn't so down anymore.

"Oh um I-I'm sorry." I stuttered out, making a complete fool out of myself. "Hi." I said, gaining confidence. He just waved at me, giving me a small smile.

"Still not talking to me huh? Okay then." I sighed, quickly turning off my friendly persona and turning on my business one. "How may I help you then?" I asked him, my voice not as cheery as before. He just stares at me, his beautiful blue orbs begging for my attention, but I didn’t want to give in. I can't keep doing this. He sighed in frustration, pulling out a notepad and a pen. He quickly scribbled something onto the paper before handing it to me.

'Can you get a book for me? I'm too short to reach it and I don't want to knock anything down.' The paper read. His handwriting was messy yet perfect, or maybe it only seemed that way because it was his handwriting. Get a hold of yourself Vic.

"Um sure. Lead the way." I said, sliding the notepad back to him before walking out from behind the glass desk in front of me. He nodded, turning away and heading to the back. I followed him to the same aisle we were in yesterday. He stopped in front of a bookshelf where the oldest mystery books were stacked. He pointed up to the 5th shelf, which wasn't good considering I couldn't reach it either.

"I'm too short to get it myself. Let me go get the ladder." I mumbled shyly. As soon as I turned my back, he let out a small giggle and I swear I've never heard an angel's laugh until today. I couldn't help but let the smile form back on my face. I walked to the storage room and grabbed the ladder before heading back over to him. It wasn't until I set the ladder up that I realized it wasn't in good shape. I think he noticed as well with the way he eyed the ladder. His eyes wide with worry. I didn’t want to disappoint him though, I wanted to please him. I wanted him to see that I'm a good person. So despite my worries, I hesitantly stepped onto the ladder. Goosebumps quickly flooded onto my skin the moment I heard the step creak, but I ignored it. I headed a bit more up, glancing up at the shelf.

"Which one do you want?" I asked him. I hoped to have received an answer out of him now, there was no way he could explain this to me without speaking. I was proven wrong when I received silence. I groaned, turning my attention to the guy down on the floor. As soon as I laid my eyes on him, I noticed that he was pointing to his shirt. How the hell was that supposed to help me? I stared at him and his eyebrows furrowed. He had no reason to be confused, I'm the one trying to figure the fucking puzzle here. The puzzle being him. I don't understand why he can't just speak to me?

"I don't understand that!" I exclaimed, shaking the ladder a bit. He groaned in frustration, pulling at his shirt.

"Blue?" I asked, considering that's the only clue he was giving me. He nodded eagerly, motioning for me to hurry up. I rolled my eyes at him before turning my attention back to the shelf. My eyes scanned for a blue book, sighing in relief when I realized there was only one. I grabbed the book and started to head back down when my foot slipped off the ladder. I couldn't remember much except the rate of my heart increasing and my little yelp but I never hit the ground. It's like those dreams where you feel like you're falling and instead of hitting the ground, you wake up. I opened my eyes to see something I wasn't expecting. I felt like I was swimming, drowning even because the beautiful shade of blue was capable of stopping my breathing. It was breathtaking and i was left speechless. We just stared at each other, a small blush evident on his porcelain skin. It was moments like this that I thanked god for being tanned. I literally fell for him and he caught me. If he was really an asshole, he would've let me fall, but he didn't. We quickly pulled apart, just staring at each other before his eyes drifted to the ground.

"Uhh thanks for umm, saving-no catching me? Um yeah thanks." The words managed to stumble off of my tongue. I don't know how I even managed to form a complete sentence. He let out another one of his angelic giggles before nodding. He lifted his eyes to meet mine, but widened when something caught his attention. Before I knew it, he was out of my presence.

"You forgot your book!" I yelled after him, but it was too late. He was already gone. What the hell? I couldn't help but feel angered once again. The only moment we shared and he ran away. There's no denying the way my heart started racing when I looked into his eyes, or the warmth that filled my body as he held onto me. That's something you just can't explain, but know that it has a meaning. It was a feeling, I wouldn’t mind feeling all over again. I run my fingers through my hair, allowing them to fall down my face as I let out a loud groan. What's his fucking deal?

"Vic, you're needed at the front desk." Ash told me, snapping me out of my trance. I nodded, heading back to my post and placing the book under the counter. I wonder if he would come back for it. I mean, he's come back the other times so he should stop by again right? I finished my shift, helping a couple more people with their book business, giving them fake smiles because my emotions weren't enough to validate for a real one. When I arrived home, I pulled out my phone and texted Jaime.

'I have it bad. Real bad.' I messaged him, taking the time to get ready for bed. He didn't answer until 10 minutes later.

'Tell me about it.' He replied, and so I did. I told him all the events of today, not aware of the smile that crept upon my face of just the image of him.

'It was a feeling I've never experienced before. I just don't know what the fuck his deal is, but I can't just drop this. I'm going to find out his name, and if I'm wrong...I'll give up. But I need to know.' I messaged back. Laying my head down on my pillow as I let sleep take over me.

Who is he? And why is he having this much of an effect on me? And most importantly, is his name the one on my wrist?

I woke up the next day with good news shining across my phone screen. I rubbed my eyes, giving them a second to adjust to the bright light.

‘Alysha said to stop by the restaurant today. She’ll make sure to introduce you to him. I’ll go with you :)’ Mike texted me.

I was happy but also confused with my motives. I was overjoyed that I was finally meeting this guy today, but then I still wanted to get to know the guy from the bookstore. Fortunately for me, I didn’t have to work today so I wouldn’t see blue eyes today. I quickly dressed myself in my nicest clothes, nothing too extra but enough to make me look decent. I did a quick check of myself, made sure I smelled good enough before I headed out. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to get in trouble with the law more than I wanted to today. Surprisingly, I didn’t get caught speeding and made it to my destination just in time to meet Mike.

“Hey, you ready bro?” He smiled at me as soon as I stepped out of my car. I rolled my eyes but nodded anyways. “Well let’s go then!” He cheered, stepping into the restaurant. We walked to our regular seats and sat down, catching Alysha’s attention immediately.

“Hey guys.” She smiled, walking over to us and giving us both a kiss on the cheek. “Let me get you drinks before I introduce you to him okay?” She told us before heading off to get our drinks.

“So are you nervous?” Mike asked me, looking up from the menu.

“Very, but actually a little excited.” I said truthfully. A few seconds later Alysha arrived with our drinks and someone by her side. I looked up from my menu and couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Hey guys, this is Kellin.” She smiled, shoving him forward. His eyes widened when he looked down at me, and I was feeling a bundle of emotions.

“Nice to finally put a name on a face, Kellin.” I said a bit bitterly. Okay, so I was a bit mad that he’s been acting the way he has with me, all weird and sometimes rude, but I’m also mad that he’s caught my attention so badly. I'm also shocked that it's actually him, the one who's been pushing me away. Just like the other times, I recieved silence before he ran off. I groaned, slumping back in my seat. This is a never ending cycle.

“So I guess you guys know each other?” Alysha asked, both her and Mike eyeing me.

“Something like that. Just weren’t on exactly good terms and I never got his name.” I sighed. Why couldn’t I just keep my smart remarks to myself? Maybe he would’ve actually spoke to me this time.

“Well I guess it wouldn’t have made a difference. He doesn’t talk anyways, not like he used to.” Alysha shrugged, taking our menus.

“What do you mean?” I asked curiously. She gave me a small smile before nodding.

“He and I used to be close, he used to be so outgoing but then something changed him. He became distant, and wouldn’t tell me why. I respected it, not wanting to force him into doing anything. But I know deep down the old Kellin is still there, but even my offers to have our movie marathons won’t make him smile anymore. I’m sorry Vic, I should’ve told you before but I assumed introducing him to new people would at least make him fake a smile, but I guess not. Anyways, I’ll be back with your orders.” She said, hurrying out of our booth.

My eyes scanned the room for Kellin and when they landed on him, they landed into the ocean staring back at me. I know it was none of my business but I wanted to know what I happened to him. I wanted to be the one who made him smile all the time, the one to hold him and make him feel like himself again. For all I know, he probably won’t even let me. My name probably isn’t even tattooed on his wrist, but I’m so strung up on him. I could have the wrong Kellin.

At that moment, I realized that whether or not he was meant to be mine, I was going to fix him.