I'm in Hate With You

Now how would a girl go about her day not being a pain to her jerk-like husband ? Let me tell you, I had not a clue.

I sat on our bed cross-legged later that morning, trying to contemplate a plan for being nice/caring.

"Don't think to hard. Your brain might explode," Daniel informed me.

I simply glared at him and went back to my thought.

Now if he had a milkshake, and I had a milkshake, and I had a straw, and that straw would reach acrooossss the room and land in his milkshake. I'D DRINK HIS MILKSHAKE ! SWOOOOSHHH ! I DRINK IT UP !

I could just picture Daniel crying: 'Don't bully me, Summer !' Then I'd throw him half way across the room, throw bowling balls at him, and scream at him for being a 'sibling boy'. (That is for you, Kristen.)

I guess that's not really what dear Danny meant about not being a pain in the pants.

"Listen, Summer, I really didn't mean what I said about being a pain. You are, but I'm sure you could stop for a day. Now can we please get out and do something ?" he asked.

I rubbed me stomach absently and sighed. "Ya. What do you want to do ?"

"Hm... I want to... um... LET'S PLAY CHECKERS !" he exclaimed.

I looked up at him. "The phrase 'heck no' is coming to mind," I told him.

He stuck his tongue out at me playfully. "We could... go for a walk ?" he suggested.

"Why not ?" I got up, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out the door.

* * * *

We walked through the park with the concrete beneath our feet and the dark gray late December sky above our heads. I shoved my hands in my coat pockets in an attempt to keep them warm.

Daniel suddenly wrapped both of his arms around my waist.

"What are you doing now, oh brilliant one ?" I asked.

"I'm f***ing cold !" he replied.

"Will you quit it potty mouth ? Our baby can hear you, you know," I scolded.

"But-"

"Every time you curse, you have to give me a quarter. I'll put the money in that empty peanut butter jar we have at home... and I'll put it toward Baby's college fund."

"What the hell ? You're calling our child 'Baby' ?"

"For now. That's a quarter by the way."

"What ? No ! I said 'hell' ! It's a place !" he exclaimed.

"You were using it as a curse. So you owe Baby a quarter," I chastised.

"Oh f*** no ! Summer ! Get real !" he complained.

"Now that's fifty cents," I informed him.

"What ? Are you kidding ?" he whined.

"Nope."

He put a hand on my stomach and sighed. "At least the money's going to a good cause," he said.

"Yep. So cheer up." I twisted my arms around and wrapped them around him so we were hugging each other in a weird sideways manner.

Daniel leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "Let's go home. It's freezing out here." He kissed my head ! It was funny how that little affection made me happy.

Right as he said that, a white snowflake fell on my nose. It was snowing !

"GAR !" Daniel groaned as he let go of me and brushed white slush off the top of his head.

I laughed. Gar ? What a nice vocabulary he had....

"It ruined my hair !" he cried.

"You're such a little girl !" I exclaimed.

"Oh ya ?" He took the snow and put it on my head, ruining MY hair.

"You freaking... GAH !" I picked up the tiny bit of snow that had accumulated on the ground and threw it at his head.

"You. Didn't."

"I did."

"Oh... you..."

I jumped on his back. "AWAY !" I shouted like a dork at a dungeons and dragons convention.

He laughed. "How can I compete with that ?" he asked as he walked in the direction of the house.