I'm in Hate With You

THE RESULT OF BOREDACIOUSNESS

WRITTEN IN SCRIPT FORM

Lacy: Guess what ?

Daniel: What ?

Lacy: We're going to go out, get drunk, and have messy hot unprotected sex !

Daniel: *laughs* Again ?

Lacy: I didn't think you'd complain.

Daniel: I'm not.

Lacy: *laughs* You just know I had to make you smile.

Daniel: Of course.

Lacy: Seriously, what do you want to do today ?

Daniel: *sighs* Obviously, our wonderful reader doesn't have any good ideas for us today.

Lacy: *taps on computer screen* WAKE UP TESSA !!!

Tessa: I'm trying ! I'm listening to music, drawing on a folder, and trying to write a scene for this stupid story ! There's only so much I can do !

Lacy: Not hard enough.

Tessa: Damn you, damn you !

Daniel: No need to get defensive...

Tessa: I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE !

Lacy: *coughs* Sure...

Tessa: You know what ?! Just for that I'm never updating... EVER !

Daniel: You'll be back. You always are.

Tessa: Shut up ! I normally don't stoop to verbally abusing my characters, but this is getting ridiculous !

Lacy: You're just jealous I got Daniel.

Tessa: You know what ? Just for that, I'm killing you off and Daniel and I are moving to Brazil !

Daniel: *crinkles nose* Why Brazil ?

Tessa: I dunno. It sounded good.

Daniel: *shrugs* Tropical.

Tessa: See ?

Lacy: *rolls eyes* Tessa, you're really losing it this time. When was the last time you talked to your doctor ?

Tessa: Uh... Last year's check-up ?

Daniel: *nods* There lies the problem.

Tessa: It's not like you guys don't have problems ! Lacy drools in her sleep.

Daniel: It's true.

Lacy: It's not my fault !

Tessa: And Daniel and your... um... Damn ! Why do you have to be so perfect ?

Daniel: *flips hair* I know.

Lacy: *rolls eyes* Don't feed his ego.

Daniel: You love it.

Lacy: Sadly, I do. How'd I fall in love with this goof ?

Tessa: Because I made you ! MUAHAHASTAAAAA !

Lacy: You only made me fall in love with him because I'm an alter-ego of yourself. You want to fall in love with a guy you hate, pierce your nose, and get knocked up.

Tessa: I-I... That's not true !

Daniel: *chews on pretzel* She's right.

Lacy: As I always am.

Tessa: Where'd you get those.

Daniel: *hides pretzels behind back* Get what ?

Tessa: *narrows eyes* I hate you.

Daniel: Yet you love me. I know I'm your favorite male character.

Tessa: What ?! Who told you that ?

Daniel: I just know. I live inside your head, remember ?

Lacy: What a crowded place to live.

Tessa: Shut up !

Daniel: You're kind of ADD, you know.

Tessa: What ?

Daniel: You can never stick to one story. You always have so many ideas...

Lacy: But so little time.

Tessa: Since this become about me ? I don't need you guys psychoanalyzing me.

Daniel: It is, in fact you who are psychoanalyzing yourself. We are fictional characters made up in the clutter of your imagination. We say what you tell us to. In fact, if you weren't so bored at this ungodly hour, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

Lacy: Woah. I never knew you were so insightful.

Tessa: *dumbfounded* I wrote you to be stupid ! Not secretly smart !

Daniel: We characters sort of do whatever we want sometimes.

Tessa: I know ! Just like in "If I'm Just..." Reagan was all like, "Guess what ? I'm a vampire !" It's crazy.

Lacy: Wow. So did Chris having sex with Spencer in "You Remind Me..." happen on it's own too ?

Tessa: Ya ! I was like, "What the hell ? That's nasty !"

Daniel: What about May getting drunk in "Don't Give Up" ?

Tessa: *coughs* That was, uh, my bad.

Lacy: *shakes head* You should know my now that you should not give your characters alcohol.

Tessa: Ya, well... I don't learn. Now that I think about it, one of my characters gets drunk in all of my stories except for "If I'm Just..." and "I'm A Heartbreaker". *evil smile*

Daniel: Don't even think about it.

Tessa: Too late !

Lacy: If you get that adorable Alex Evans drunk, I'm going to have to hurt you.

Tessa: Oh come on ! He'd be such a funny drunk !

Daniel: Ya, totally. He's such a pansy.

Tessa: Shut up TWENTY-ONE-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN !

Daniel: *blushes* Shut up.

Lacy: I have a question.

Tessa: Yes ?

Lacy: How'd you come up with our story ?

Tessa: *clears throat*

Daniel: *whispers* Here we go.

Tessa: Over Christmas Break this year, I was working on "If I'm Just..." in hell (AKA Missouri) where the devil (AKA my grandma) lives. We were going through an antique store to find vintage soda signs for my room...

Daniel: *snickers*

Lacy: Shh !

Tessa: And they had old donated books there. I looked at one that was about a chick sleeping with her best friend, getting pregnant and deciding to marry him. As you can see, that sparked my interest, and I couldn't get it out of my head. That night, I wrote the scene where you move in, Lacy.

Daniel: How interesting that was.

Lacy: You're an ass.

Daniel: So you tell me.

Tessa: Yes, that was a good scene. I like that one.

Lacy: What do you think is your best story ?

Tessa: That's for the readers to judge, not me.

Daniel: You should be proud of your work.

Tessa: I am.

Lacy: Ya, sure. And that's why you keep it from your parents.

Tessa: Shut up ! This isn't about them !

Daniel: I have a question.

Tessa: *sighs* Shoot.

Daniel: Why are you so obsessed with Alex Evans ?

Tessa: *dreamy expression* He's a god.

Lacy: Don't even get her started. But, I have another question. What do you worry about most while writing a story ?

Tessa: Finishing the story in a reasonable amount of time and trying to make the female character not so much like me. They almost always are...

Daniel: Which lead do you think is the most like you ?

Tessa: Honestly... Lacy.

Lacy: How am I anything like you ?

Daniel: *gives her look* you're kidding, right ?

Tessa: You're stubborn, sarcastic, always think you're right, and you like to argue and yell.

Lacy: *glare* I guess.

Daniel: Now, I have a hard question for you. Which male lead do you think is the most like you

Tessa: Alex.

Daniel: You wish.

Tessa: No, seriously. Not the quiet, shy part, but the untrusting and jaded part of him. I find it hard to open up to a lot of people.

Lacy: Which is why you deny everything.

Tessa: So, I deny a lot of things. I don't lie to people I don't know.

Lacy: Ya, you do to your best friend.

Tessa: Like you didn't deny you loved Daniel to Abby all the time !

Daniel: It's true. You two are totally alike.

Tessa: And it's not like I'm married to Dax or anything.

Lacy: Why are you two ganging up on me ?

Daniel: It's fun.

Lacy: Ya, well it's not like Dax is a jerk like Daniel is.

Tessa: That's true...

Reader: Who's Dax

Daniel: Her lover.

Lacy: Almost lover.

Tessa: Whatever.

Daniel: You should ask him out.

Tessa: No Daniel. He's got my phone number. Isn't that enough ?

Lacy: No.

Tessa: Shut up. I have to go now.

Daniel: I love you, Tessa.

Lacy: *glares*

Daniel: I mean... Maybe we'll interview you again someday !

Tessa: *mumbles* I hope not.

Lacy: Bye !

Tessa: See ya.