Favorite Fictional Characters Chat

Rehtaeh, Shelby and Frodo met up in their not so local public library to discuss the note Rehtaeh had received. The handwriting was very messy, and they could not decipher who’s handwriting it was. Rehtaeh still believed it to be Link’s but Shelby disagreed.
“Link’s handwriting is BEAUTIFUL! Not this scribbly crap!” she said.
“... but Link’s dumb...” Rehtaeh replied. Shelby glared at her and didn’t reply.
“What if it’s a note from someone you don’t KNOW.” Frodo said dramatically.
“... I doubt that. Maybe it was from Ganondorf. Haha. After all, we did trick him into having sex with Zelda after sexually harassing him...”
“I don’t even want to know. What if I told your grandfather about this?!” Frodo said.
“But... but Frodo! You wouldn’t! You love me too much!”
“OH MY COW.... WHAT IF IT WASN’T EVEN SOMEONE FROM HYRULE.... AND THEY’RE JUST TRYING TO TRICK YOU INTO THINKING THEY ARE?!” Shelby gasped.
Rehtaeh gasped as well. “HOLY LEMBAS! YOU’RE RIGHT! I BET IT WAS... VOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLDEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOORRRRRRT! … okay more like it was fuckin Harry being a douche. Teheheheehe.”
“.....or was it....... HERMIONE?!?!?!?!?!?” She stood and slammed her hand on the table. “I bet it was that hooker!”
“Why would Hermione say that? That’s dumb. You’re just mad at her because she has Ron.”
“What?” Frodo said, munching on lembas.
“Nevermind Frodo. Nevermind...”
“Fine.... yes that’s why.... At least I still have...... umm..... I don’t have anyone else...” she sniffled and looked down.
“Awwww... Poor Shelby! You know what? We’ll find you a new wizard boyfriend! AN OBSCUUUURE WIZARD BOYFRIEND! Okay? But first we need to find who wrote this letter.”
“You know, you could ask that Draco kid.” Frodo said through his lembas. “He delivered it to you, right?”
“Yeah... lets GO FIND DRACOOO MALLLFOOYYYYY!!”
“Yayyy, let’s GOOOO!!!” Shelby cheered. “....but where would he be?”
“Probably in the dungeons... in the Slytherin common room. Duh.” Rehtaeh stated, as though it was obvious. Which of course, to her, it is.
“Alright, as long as no creepy Slytherin..... creeps creep on me!” She walked out of the library, pulling Frodo behind her for some reason.

--
hogwarts
--

“You know what I just realized?” Rehtaeh said.
“What?” Shelby answered.
“Um... we could’ve just used the Hogwarts library.”
“Haha fail!”
“Anyways, follow me! I know where the common room is!” Rehtaeh said, running through the halls of hogwarts. They ran all the way to the common room, and Rehtaeh said the password to enter.
When they walked in, all the Slytherins looked up from a paper on a coffee table in the common room and shoved it away hastily.
“What are you all doing?! Writing cruel letters pretending to be Link to Rehtaeh?! Huh?! YOU’RE ALL SICK!” Shelby cried, looking around the room with rage.The Slytherins just looked at her like she was crazy, and Draco started laughing.
“What are you talking about, you crazy girl? No, of course not! We’re using books from the library’s restricted section to make poison! Duh.” he replied.
“Oh..... well...... I’m just going to sit down and stop talking now....” Shelby then sat down quickly on the other side of the room, as far from everyone as possible. “Why are you making poison anyway? Wait! I said I was going to stop talking!” She covered her mouth.
“They’re making poison because they’re evil. And their Slytherins. … Can I help?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! PLEASE?!”
“No. Because you aren’t a true Slytherin! You had to ask. You fail.” Draco said.
“Psh, well then. I had a question for you anyways.”
“Enlighten me.”
“Who gave you this letter?” Rehtaeh asked, tossing the roll of paper down on the table. Draco picked it up and examined it.
“Oh, someone you know very well by now.” He grinned, after reading it once more.
“Do they live in Hyrule?”
“Nope.”
“Are they from Narnia?”
“No...”
“Middle Earth?”
“No.”
“ENGLAND?!”
“Yep.”
“WAS IT VOLDEMOOOOORT?!”
“Sorry love, I’m not supposed to tell. Go back to your silly little library.”
“Psh.Well fine then! Butt head.”
“... butt head? Really?”
“yes!”
“Don’t talk to her that way, Draco! You sexist bastard!” Shelby threw a random book she found on a table in his direction, but hit some other poor soul instead of Malfoy.
“Ow! You stupid fucking muggle!” the boy yelled, tackling Shelby.
“Wow. Kinky.” Rehtaeh said. “Well Shelby, I guess Frodo and I will leave you here with your new boyfriend. We’ll be back though! Soon!” She left the common room with Frodo and they ran back up to the library.
“What?! He isn’t my boyfriend! He called me a muggle! Which of course I am, but he has no right to say it! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE WITH HIM! HE MIGHT BE LIKE DRACO’S DAAAAAD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” She cried dramatically.

Frodo and Rehtaeh ran into the library and plopped down at one of the tables in there, trying to figure out a loophole to get information from Draco.
“What if we ask where he lives, what he looks like, ect until we figure it out?”
“... Frodo, why are you so smart?”
“Because... I’m a hobbit. And I’m cute.”
“Okay then. Back to the dungeons! After eating lunch.”
“Okay! Lunch time! yay!”

--
after lunch
--

Shelby shook Rehtaeh, then Frodo, violently. “WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ALONE WITH A SLYTHERIN FOR LIKE THREE HOURS? IN THE DUNGEON!!!”
“We thought you two wanted a little alone time!” Rehtaeh said innocently, trying not to laugh. She glared at Rehtaeh.
“Alone time? With an evil monster like a SLYTHERIN?! Okay, I’m being really dramatic about the whole Slytherin thing today...”
“You really are... Slytherins aren’t all bad! Just look at Draco! He’s awesome!” Rehtaeh said. Draco looked up from a paper he was reading.
“Why yes, yes I am!”
“Someone thinks highly of themself....”
“I’m very sexy. And awesome. You just need to learn to deal with it Shelby. Especially if you’re dating my best friend, Sergius.”
“Who the hell is Sergius?! Oh wait, no I know who he is... And I’m not dating him!!!!” She punched him in the arm. “Let’s just talk about that letter, please!”
“Okay, so we’ve agreed that you’re dating Sergius, so we’ll talk about the letter. Right?”
“Ughhhhhhh Draco, you are so annoying.... but why are we talking about this letter in the dungeons again?”
“Because you’re in the Slytherin common room...” Draco said slowly. “We’ll only talk about this letter if you agree to dating my buddy Sergius.”
“Really Draco? Really?”
“Really.”
“Fine, just shut up about it. On with the letter!”
“What would you three like to know?” Draco asked, sitting in a leather armchair and crossing his legs.
“Who wrote it.”
“Ah, yes... the question I’m not allowed to answer. If I tell you, what will you do for me?”
“... Um... eat a banana?” Frodo said, pulling a banana out of his pocket.
“Dance like an idiot!” Rehtaeh said.
“Date your best friend.” Shelby said.
“Hmm... not very good offers!” Draco replied crossly. “I’ll go for... dancing. Dancing is good.”
“Oh merlin...” Rehtaeh said, shaking her head.
“Oh, this is going to be good...” Shelby said, sitting down and watching intently. Draco grinned and offered a seat to Frodo as well, who took it and ate a giant bite of his banana. They were all staring intently.
“... um.... okay.... i don’t know any dances....”
“Go learn one!”
“Give me a minute, gosh.” she snapped at Draco. “I GOT it! I’m going to fail but I will TRY!” she yelled. She started dancing badly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr7djGY1fhA and fell halfway through the dance on her butt. “Oooow.....” she said.
“Ahhh! Rehtaeh, are you okay?” Shelby asked. Frodo finished his banana finally and clapped for her performance.
“Thanks Frodo. I think I broke my butt.” she said, laughing. “I fail at life. Oh well. I only learned ballet, so I have an excuse!”
“Well WHY didn’t you do that then?!”
“... uh.... because.... I didn’t want to. Anyways, WHO WROTE THE LETTER?!”
“YEAH, DRACO, WHO WROTE IT?” Shelby yelled. “If it was Voldemort, you don’t have to say.... just color this piece of paper red. If it was someone else in Hogwarts and you STILL don’t want to say who, color their house colors on this paper!” She handed him a piece of paper and some crayons. “Clever, I know. Just kidding.”
Draco rolled his eyes and picked up a crayon while Rehtaeh, Shelby and Frodo turned away. They heard him put the crayon down and handed them the paper he had colored red.
“AHAH! I KNEW IT WAS HIM!!” Rehtaeh yelled, dancing in a circle before tripping again. “Ow my ass...”
“Good Draco!” Shelby patted his hair, making sure not to mess up his hair just in case he flipped out or something. “Now.... should we go track down Voldy?”
“I suppose so. Thanks Draco!” Rehtaeh grinned.
“Anytime... as long as you dance for me.”
“What are you, a dance lover?”
“Yes, yes I am. Carry on now.”
“Valete, Slytherins!”
“Bye.” Shelby said. They ran up to the library. Again.